2013/12/23

Song Interpretations: Magic Man by Heart

What song had the biggest influence on modern culture in history? The answer... "Magic Man" by Heart.

Unfortunately, people have misunderstood the meaning of the lyrics contained within the song. What most people don't know is that "Magic Man" is a brutal feminist piece in which the elite feminist is, in fact, the mom. "Magic  Man" was written as a homage to Mrs. Wilson as Mother's Day gift... because she changed their lives... and changed ALL of our lives in the process.

She changed the way we speak to one another!!!!

Mother fuckers don't seem to get this shit and it's primarily because of a song that came out the following year (1977). The Runaways had a sequence involving their mother with their song "Born to Be Bad" that seemed to stereotype the roles of moms back in those days. It went:

"I called my mother from Hollywood the other day,
and said 'Mom, I just called to tell ya that I joined a rock 'n roll band
and uh, I won't be coming home no more.'

You know what she did?
She started crying, and weeping, and whimpering... like all mothers do
And she woke up my father and told him about it
And he said there ain't a damn thing we can do... that's just the way she is.
She was just BORN TO BE BAD!!!"

Because of lyrics like that, people assumed that the character Mama from "Magic Man" was crying and weeping and whimpering like all mothers do when her daughter called with some shit that she is dating some douche self proclaimed as "The Magic Man."

With lyrics such as: "Come on home, girl, mama cried on the phone" people are led to believe that Mrs. Wilson is an overbearing crying weeping whimpering sissy neurotic bitch who just doesn't understand when her daughter falls in love.

NO! She changed the world. She started something totally new! She did something that had never been done before.

Throughout the song "Magic Man" the song's protagonist did everything in her power to epitomize easily impressed stupid-ass white girls-- brainless bimbo romanticism such as: "I've never seen eyes so blue" or "Try to understand, he's a magic man" to "he's got magic hands" ...bitch even thought they had seen each other in a dream.

As we all know, this is some lame-ass shit uttered by some extremely stupid-ass white bitches! As we all know, any girl that says this type of stupid-ass shit is naive, stupid, often insufferable to be around, way too easily impressed, and ALWAYS (no exceptions) referencing a stupid-ass mother fucking douchebag that no woman with even half a brain would be even remotely interested. We've all witnessed this at every bar in America.

Taylor Swift seems to feel this way about every single person she meets. It's to the extreme with her that we could create a sign that reads:

HORNY? Well simply come up with one stupid ass lame pick-up line and you too can fuck Taylor Swift*.  (* Some restrictions apply. It appears that getting rid of her might take a few weeks, although simply dumping her stupid ass on the cold hard ground seems to be the most effective.)

No parent wants her daughter to be as dumb as a character in a Taylor Swift song.

Admitting to be powerless over a male douche just because he has blue eyes and corny pick-up lines is a confession of inferiority to the opposite gender. That is the last thing a female-fronted band needs when trying to prove to the world that "women can rock just like men!" ...which was the general claim for Heart.

The song gives us substantial credible evidence that this so-called "Magic Man" is one stupid lame mother fucker that most people could not even stand to be around for even five minutes. This dumbshit used corny pick-up lines such as: "I'll cast my spell of love on you."

Anybody that has ever set foot off the front porch knows that it takes one stupid douchy mother fucker to say some ridiculous bullshit like that to somebody. This fucking asshole even self-proclaimed himself as a "Magic Man" by telling the impressionable white bitch: "Try to understand, that I'm a Magic Man."

If I told some girl that shit, I would get the living Hell beat out of me... and rightly so!

But, Mama comes to save the day! She comes to rescue the song's protagonist from the deadly white girl disease now known as TaylorSwiftSyndrome.

Mrs. Wilson knew that shit was fucking moronic, knew this asshole was a douche, definitely a flat-out fucking liar, and called her own daughter out on it. HER OWN DAUGHTER!!!

In fact, she took it to extreme levels and did something that had never been done. Mrs. Wilson coined a new phrase that would take over a decade for the world to fully embrace.

And that leads us to the most influential line of a song in history. And sadly, its been misinterpreted by millions and millions of people. And yes, that line has been listed on here twice now... and in the incorrect format that caused all of the uncertainty.

She set the foot down, and ordered her daughter... "Come on home, girl, mama cried on the phone." These commas have created the incorrect format that has been misinterpreted by the conventional thinkings.

When Mama discovered that her daughter was enamored with a douche, what she ACTUALLY said was:

"Come on homegirl! Mama cried on the phone."

As we all know (now, back then we didn't... that's how revolutionary this song is), the phrase "Come on homegirl!" means: "Jesus, bitch! Seriously!?! You are without a doubt the dumbest fucking white bitch I've ever met."

However, back in 1976, the term "homegirl" was not yet popular. Nobody knew what the fuck homegirl meant... they thought Mama was telling her daughter to come home. Shit, that bitch was grown... didn't want her ass over at the house no how... because homegirls can obviously jack up a grocery bill.

It would take nearly a full decade for that term "homegirl" to become popular. And truth be known, the mother of Ann & Nancy Wilson was the woman who coined the phrase. Furthermore, it was the first time in popular culture that a mother referred to her own daughter as "a dumbass fucking white bitch." This serves as such a viable feminist piece because Mama resorted to such ruthless tactics not only in a period of time where mothers were considered "whimpering" but as an assault against the stupid-ass domineering deceptive misogynist douche that the impressionable little girls could not defeat.

This was victory.... thanks to Mama.

BIBLIOGRAPHY:

Trust me, I know what I'm talking about.




NC-17 SOUNDTRAXXX is being edited, revised, and published. The literature content is gradually being removed for publication or  being transferred to the upcoming site: MHQ HEADQUARTERS. The music countdowns, however, shall remain here.

In the meantime... our first actual book publication, a dystopian epic: The Mansion 


According to the plant and animal life on Earth, which eventually unfriends the human race amidst bold accusations coming from an oddly-shaped row of trees: the concepts of government, religion, and economics were fabricated by the same sources that devised such absurdity as Black Friday sales, fashionable bowling attire, expiration dates for vaginal lube, and marketing strategies to entice specifically targeted mayonnaise consumers … and these sources obviously did not originate on the Planet Earth. From Prohibition to the dystopian future plagued with revolution, animosity towards society, and farming hippos with growth hormones, characters such as Squirrel Abraham and Jimmers Waffles (raccoon) not only challenge the status quo, but also question the entire history that created it.

Compiling 30 Sections and 68 different themes and storylines, which explore topics ranging from concepts of customer service to victimless crimes to a town in West Virginia that repeatedly becomes a ghost town; and featuring guest appearances from the likes of seahorses, dragonflies, praying mantis, chickens, and raccoon, The Mansion chronicles the plight of the human race, where Primitive Man evolved into the species known as Homo Bowler, and set out to destroy the world in a quest for decorative plates, generic shoes, and non-dairy powdered creamer.








http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qijQC-m2IDs

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