The Top 125 Songs of 1977

At Last! + The Top 150 Songs of 1977
Part 1: Equation For The Meaning of Life
Part 2: A Request For Radical Change
Part 3: Learning to Fly
Part 4: Cute Little Green Mother Fuckers and The Born Bad Bitches
Part 5: Emergence of The Black Serpent
Part 6: At Last! The Greatest Come-From-Behind Victory in The History of The Universe

Part II: A Request For Radical Change

Press play on the image below to hear this selection of songs in this exact order.

125. Hawkwind
"Sprit Of The Age"  7:19
Quark Strangeness and Charm
London, England

Prior to the day of radical change, it was a dark, dismal, gloomy day in which a multitude of bad things were happening. As I walked the sidewalk in the rain, attempting to resolve every issue known to mankind, I felt as if all things in the world were crumbling down upon every side of me. Yet, we still walked, in a dazed lethargic state, in a mad rush to get nowhere. Somebody, out there, somewhere had once upon a time escaped and returned to find a world in total disarray. I saw an explosion burst through a shop window and a man wearing a ski mask fled the scene engulfed in flames. Nobody even noticed; all the while, I still wondered who designed the ski mask, why he caused the destruction, and why it was even considered destruction. And still, everybody walked to a destination that had been perceived as relevant; as if any of it mattered… they were just clones doing what they had been taught.

124. Can
"Don't Say No"  6:37
Saw Delight
Köln, Germany

Some store, somewhere, out in that one place called nowhere, decided that the time was right—right at this very moment precisely—to restructure the parking lot. Only a minute percentage of the population of The Universe would ever lay eyes upon this parking lot, and but a small percentage of those actually cared about how the lines were painted…if it even needed lines. The worker was relating a message on the phone and the building owner was not satisfied with the outcome pertaining to the yellow lines—nobody really noticed these things in the Grand Scheme of it ALL. However, he was furious, and ripped the phone from the workers hands and beat him repeatedly in the face with it. His face was bloody, and the shop keeper continued to beat him to the ground with the phone… stomping on his face, disfiguring his appearance for life.

123. The Pigs
"National Front"  2:55
Youthanasia/They Say/Psychopath/National Front
Bristol, England

They had been taught to do the things they were supposed to do in accordance with wherever they had been born. Regardless of what their natural persona suggested they should believe, they were required to support all matters as it pertained to location in which they resided. Even if the majority of The Universe regarded their proximity as a shameful disgrace, they supported it anyway… just because that’s what they were supposed to do. That said, numerous people throughout history have committed severe violations against the state of humanity simply as a means to support the system that somebody else had derived who just happened to also reside in that area previously.

122. Eddie Hazel
"Frantic Moment"  3:44
Game, Dames and Guitar Thangs
New York, NY (1950)-Plainfield, NJ (1992)

Everybody was sitting on the bus wearing headphones; nobody could hear a sound. A child boarded the bus dressed in an alligator costume and took a seat while his father paid the fare. Some of the other passengers found the child adorable in his costume and he brought forth a few smiles. He laid out on the bus seat, and then suddenly dropped to the floor twitching as he was losing all bodily control. A few people stared in that area to see what the cause of the commotion and the driver had to stop the bus. All of a sudden, the child appeared to be dying, seemingly without cause. Nobody arose from their seats to see if any assistance was needed; perhaps there was nothing they could do. The father was growing frantic and nearing a state of panic attempting to resuscitate his son who seemed fine moments ago. The door opened, the father took the child off the bus and waited for an ambulance; the bus continued its route as if nothing happened.

121. The Flys
"Love and a Molotov Cocktail"  2:31
Bunch of Five
Coventry, England

Alexis has a massive crush on this boy who rode the bus with her. She saw him each day, but the two never spoke to one another. In fact, they never even sat by each other and did not even know each other’s name—wasn’t even certain if the other had even noticed their presence. Alexis hoped that he would sit by her, but instead he opted to sit across the aisle—it was OK, he was close enough. The bus gradually filled up and soon all of the seats were taken. Some man attempted to sit by this guy who had items setting in the seat—it was an inconvenience. Impolitely, the guy in the seat removed his headphones and suggested the stranger sit across the aisle with that girl over there (Alexis), and even suggested that they would make a nice couple.

120. The Panik
"Murder"  3:04
It Won't Sell!
Manchester, England

Upon hearing her dream lover imply that some other person would make a better partner, Alexis flipped out and went ballistic. Because he had said this, that meant that he had no interest in her whatsoever; and the fact that he thought she should be paired up with this loser suggested that he probably thinks lowly of her. She stormed out of her seat, across the aisle, and proceeded to beat this guy senselessly in his seat. Alexis kept on beating him and did not stop; the other passengers simply looked away (a few of them laughed at the whole ordeal). After she stomped on this guy’s head several times, it burst an artery in his brain and blood poured out of his temple. She stomped him several more times and left him lying in a pool of blood. The rest of the passengers that day ignored the dead body lying on the ground and it wasn’t until the end of the day before he was finally removed. No charges were pressed.

119. Eater
"Get Raped"  2:29
The Album
London, England

A cute girl was sitting towards the front of the bus wearing a short skirt; her job required that she flaunt her sexuality in order to improve tips… the owner of the establishment required this dress code but was unwilling to pay the girl himself. Another group of guys entered the bus, saw the cute young girl sitting there, and immediately decided to sit close to her and talk to her. Nobody heard what they said, but the girl seemed bashful and appeared to only smile because it seemed necessary. The guys kept grabbing her and touching her and making her feel uncomfortable. Finally, one guy held her hands and then another stuck his hands up her skirt and pulled off her panties. They lifted her skirt up and took turns taking pictures of her bare vagina, and laughing about it. Everybody else on the bus ignored the incident, and the girl cried when she finally exited the bus and walked to work.

118. Sweet
"Lost Angels"  4:04
Off the Record
Harefield, England

In the end, people shared the same wish. If they could have that one thing, it would be that infinite carefree lifestyle that supposedly only happened after death. However, they weren’t willing to accept any notion that this ambition could be achieved while still residing on a planet controlled by a gravitational field that kept everybody grounded. Time spent here was meaningless—at least that was the common perception. Yet, they hastily bustled to find some sort of relevance to it all. One day, they all walked that same sidewalk as if they had some sort of purpose.

117. Zeros
"Wimp"  2:35
Don't Push Me Around/Wimp
Chula Vista, CA

Barney struggled with notion of being a party animal while being a devout cubicle soldier. Juxtaposing the two worlds created turmoil in both areas for his failure to commit disabled him from becoming firmly entrenched in either area. He would go out at night in areas where he did not fit in and pretend to be something that he was not. Although a common behavioral trait, Barney’s was taken to drastic extremes because he would impede in other’s conversations to talk about topics in which nobody cared.

116. The Weirdos
"Life Of Crime"  2:20
Destroy All Music
Los Angeles, CA

It’s OK, it’s just me. I’m just a regular guy, but I’m just more comfortable wearing a ski mask is all—even in the summertime. She fell in love with the image of that ski mask—it made him look hardcore, and she felt more of a badass while she was around him. Oscar was a genuinely nice person, but he had a skin blemish and was sensitive to light—the ski mask kept his skin healthy. Angie went on a crime spree because she had been altered by his menacing image. After she robbed numerous banks, Oscar ultimately went to prison for it because nobody was willing to accept the fact that he was simply more comfortable wearing a ski mask.

115. Crime
"Frustration"  2:25
Frustration/Murder by Guitar
San Francisco, CA

The cat wanted to play; but nobody wanted to play with the cat. In fact, nobody ever played with the cat. Whenever the cat was feeling playful, the cute kitten was considered an obnoxious pest. Nobody even knew how to play with the cat; they would simply throw something and hope he chased after it. Most of the time, the cat was left isolated, all alone, and not even permitted to leave the house for the “owner” made frequent death threats; the living creature had become a material possession that nobody wanted to play with. Sadly, the cat died, all alone. Some of the people uttered, “Finally.” Why even have a cat in the first place? The cat’s life was completely meaningless and the cat did not fulfill any of his desired ambitions.

114. Bee Gees
"More Than a Woman"  3:17
Saturday Night Fever
Brisbane, Australia

Jackie won the heart of Grover Cleveland when he was a teenager. During his rise to power, Grover Cleveland did everything in an attempt to impress Jackie. She was everything to him and she looked absolutely superb in her 1870’s fashionable dress. However, because he was a politician, he neglected her the same way the previous “owner” neglected the playful cat. Whenever Jackie wanted to play, she was considered bothersome… especially after they were done fucking. Grover wasn’t exactly a prize, even though he had wealth, and Jackie dumped Grover Cleveland in order to pursue something she referred to as “being herself.” Grover did not approve of this, but what the fuck could he do?

113. Player
"Baby Come Back"  3:38
Los Angeles, CA

Truth of the matter was, Grover Cleveland could never adopt the philosophy of “being himself” after Jackie ditched him. The breakup led to a state of gloomy depression that would plague Grover Cleveland throughout the duration of his life… even while he was sheriff of New York. Although Grover was constantly appointed prominent positions, his mental instability caused by the break-up led him to succumb to self-doubt and do absolutely nothing during times of severe crisis. Thus dubbing the term, “what would Grover Cleveland do?” that answer is always nothing. All he wanted was for Jackie to come back.

112. Roberta Flack
"The Closer I Get To You"  4:43
Blue Lights in the Basement
Black Mountain, NC

Once he finally took office as President, Grover finally started dating again… Frances Folsom. The two of them grew closer together—she liked the money, he liked that hot ass—and eventually became the only President to ever be married in The White House. Even during the wedding though, he was not completely over Jackie, which might explain why he opted to marry somebody so young—Frances was only 21 years old when she became the first lady. Yup, ol’ Grover had himself a hot young babe, and was frequently knocking out that ass right there in the Oval Office. Mother fuckers ended up having 5 kids—on tax payer’s time sheet mind you.

111. Rod Stewart
"I Was Only Joking"  6:11
Foot Loose & Fancy Free
London, England

For the ultimate equation that defines the meaning of life, C = Companionship. In most cases, C is represented with a higher number and in some instances the ultimate meaning of life equates to the perfect companionship. Unfortunately, there are numerous obstacles and various other commitments that prevent the perfect companionship from ever happening. Once upon a time, I too, was in love… but I did not know this at the time; or was unwilling to admit it until after it was too late. For some strange reason, I was torn as to whether or not the ideal lifestyle entailed having multiple lovers (G) or having some sort of powerful position (L) or having to impress others with various components that pertained to the location in which I was residing (P). In the end, it only led to self-doubt; and now I am not sure whether or not I am sincere; in fact, I am not even sure if I am a real person.

110. Carly Simon
"Nobody Does It Better"  3:45
The Spy Who Loved Me
New York, NY

Frances Folsom did not know anything more other than Grover Cleveland. Here she was, 21 years old, and residing in the highest office in the nation. During the lustful periods that produced five children, Frances would have her young, firm, sexy legs firmly wrapped around President Cleveland’s fat hairy body while he thrust his slightly below average sized penis somewhat deep inside her willing vagina—on the dining room floor of The White House (Frances periodically suffered rug burns) moaning that he was the best fuck ever while he shot his load into her, conceiving yet another God damned diphtheria stricken child. Grover Cleveland was such a good fuck that Frances would often frolic around The White House in naughty lingerie and suck on his cock while he drafted ordinances and vetoed bills… no wonder his administration was unable to pull out of the recession… because with 5 children, he was obviously unable to pull out of anything.

109. Aerosmith
"Kings And Queens"  4:55
Draw the Line
Sunapee, NH/Boston, MA

Too many of the negative elements of society had been originated by the same people history notoriously celebrates. Sometime in the past, a group of people located in the same proximity sought to have more than they needed. They set out to conquer other villages in order to obtain happiness at the expense of others. Then in the ultimate turn of events, they completely dicked over the exact people they depended upon for happiness. Centuries later, this quest for power was still taking place. However, at some point in existence, those who had provided the happiness shall make history themselves and retake their own lifestyle. Unfortunately, these screams have no reply for the conquerors have brainwashed an entire army who fight and kill to destroy any attempt to re-establish the natural quest for personal happiness… these people are forced to serve the king and they are expected to do so subordinately for it is a regulation established by the land in which they were born… it was established long before they were ever born.

108. The Carpettes
"How About Me and You"  2:13
Radio Wunderbar
Newcastle, England

Deep down inside, after his cat died, he wished he had spent more time with the cat. Perhaps he only obtained the cat for a desired companion, but the human owner had other companions; he was the cat’s only companion. He regretted all of the trivial matters that caused him to dislike the cat. This guy wanted to decorate the Christmas tree, and the cat assumed all of the ornaments were toys—there were no other toys for the cat to play with. One day after work, the cat approached, and he angrily retorted—“God, just leave me the fuck alone!” What else was the cat to do? His only friend, his only companion that he had in this world wanted nothing to do with him. The innocent cat sadly wandered off into a different room and pretended as if nothing was wrong—staring out the window hoping for a better life.

107. Bijou
"Pow-Wow"  1:45
Danse avec Moi
Juvisy, France

Much of the violence and harmful elements within the environment was caused by the desire to operate a vehicle. However, the means in which the vehicle functions are harmful and the race of people were unwilling to devise anything else. Therefore, college tuition should come from tax money and be deemed as an investment. Those ideas never did trickle down; investments in new ones should have been priority #1. But, those who sought the power were unwilling to relinquish any because they assumed that if other people also had brilliant ideas it would make theirs look less satisfactory.

106. The Gizmos
"Ballad of the Gizmos"  3:19
Amerika First
Bloomington, IN

The parakeet was also considered a pest. This person purchased a parakeet—a bird with the ability to fly freely—and even purchased a cage in which to keep it. However, anytime the parakeet made any noise whatsoever, albeit chirping or playing with the bells, it was being a monstrous pest. Sometimes, the “owner” would shout at the bird to shut the fuck up, and then place a sheet over the cage in order to keep it quiet. Why even have the parakeet? The caged animal was basically a decoration for the house and was not permitted to have any personality; let alone mingle with its’ only companions in the world. Much could have been learned from the parakeet though; these creatures have the ability to fly.

105. Yes
"Wonderous Stories"  3:50
Going for the One
London, England

We have no clue if creatures with the ability to fly actually learned this ability or were simply created this way. Regardless, the fact that animals exist that can fly through the sky is miraculous achievement. If there were to be one trait that could essentially change the human race for the best, it would be the blessing that would allow them to fly freely through the sky. Those who had flown, and fly freely daily, are the ones who are truly blessed and share the most remarkable stories for their meaning of life has no limitations. And so it came, another cat from a different universe altogether flew to the window, the exact same window in which our cat had been desperately hoping for departure.

104. Captain Beyond
"Midnight Memories"  4:02
Dawn Explosion
Los Angeles, CA

The window opened and the two cats nuzzled noses, spoke in a tone that only sounded like inaudible meows… coupled with a “quiet” that emerged from the background. A decoy cat was put in place. After moments of encouragement, the companion-less kitty cat walked to the window ledge, sniffed the air outside, and leaped off the side. He plunged to the ground at first, but soon, the cat was soaring though the sky alongside his new soul companion in The Universe. And they were joined by a parakeet—a green one. Up in the distance was another parakeet, this time a blue one. The birds joined together, as if embracing in a passionate friendship that would last eternity. Under no circumstances would the cats eat the birds; together they flew to worlds that had no boundaries.

103. Foreigner
"Starrider"  4:03
New York, NY

They towered through the heavens and up into the stars. We had liftoff, and something about the mystery that pertains to the stars struck bewilderment in all of us. If we had the ability to ever see those stars up close, than that would change the outcome of our existence. Should we devise the ability to enter another domain of The Universe… that would provide the fresh start that we needed, and erase all of the past afflictions that has plagued our society. Each and every one of us has had different visualizations as to what the outer kingdoms of The Universe entailed. But, the feeling of soaring from the ground… that sensation that would come equipped with floating several miles into the air would be exhilarating beyond comprehension.

102. Fela Kuti
"Mr. Follow Follow"  12:58
Lagos, Nigeria (1938-1997)

I wanted the ability to fly. I was finished with the obstacles of borders called roads; and I was sick and tired of police enforcement attempting to cripple my happiness. Should I have the ability to take flight, I would know what it was like to experience true happiness without limitations. However, if the entire population was able to fly, then we would no longer need cars, need no gas, no resources, and we would no longer imprison captive creatures just to prevent them from being struck by our useless vehicles. And so I did what all people do in this situation, I asked God. God, I know you can hear me… supposedly you can hear everything. If you exist, then hear my words, and please, honor my requests.

101. 10cc
"Feel the Benefit, Pt. 1-3"  11:29
Deceptive Bends
Manchester, England

Thus, God entered my room and listened attentively to my requests. Yes, I can hear you. Then, God, with all due respect, I think that it would be a great idea to have the ability to fly. Not just me, heck, I don’t want that type of power, all of us. Right now, Lord, we are in troubling times. We have become clueless as to what the meaning of life even is; we are fighting and killing each other for the sake of money… and the key element behind this is the ability to travel. If we were suddenly enabled to fly, to fly without motors, to fly like the birds can fly, then I feel that would save the race… the race that you have domain over; to be able to travel The Universe… The Universe that you supposedly created, then that would save all of us a lot of grief. I mean, you did create birds, didn’t you? There are beings living on this Earth blessed with the ability to fly, then why not give it to all of us?

God congratulated me for not wanting that much power. “Last time I spoke with somebody,” God said while seated on the sofa, “he went all ape shit and assumed he was some sort of an authority figure. Whatever. But, you are right… this is a dilemma and your request would resolve many issues. Therefore, I grant it to you. You have the ability to fly… as does everybody else. Just have faith in me, and jump from any ledge.”

And after that, God disappeared.

Unreliable Narrators + The Best of 1971

Unreliable Narrators + The Best Songs of 1971
Part 1: Voyage on a Sunken Ship
Part 2: The Dead, The Living, Rabbits, Leander, and Archibald
Part 3: Unreliable History
Part 4: The Next Era: Great Change or Extinction
Part 5: Phase I of The Greatest Come-From-Behind Victory in The History of The Universe

Part I: Voyage on a Sunken Ship

Press play hear this selection of songs in this exact order.

130. Rita Coolidge
"Seven Bridges Road" 6:00
Rita Coolidge
Nashville, TN/Fallbrook, CA

In many cases, it’s not the fall from grace that is most painful; its knowing that a decision was made to take that leap in the first place. And, the perception of that place in which one took that plunge will be forever altered, as will the spot in which the landing occurred. That’s when the time comes to embark on that ultimate quest—the beginning of the greatest come-from-behind victory in The History of the Universe.

129. Charley Pride
"I'd Rather Love You" 2:47
I'm Just Me
Sledge, MS/Dallas, TX

Austin Pierre considered the risk worth taking. He knew that Allison Marie was not the most ideal woman for a long-term relationship, but he loved her anyway. Even if they only lasted a few short days, that would be sufficient enough for a lifetime of memories, than to have never experienced the sweetness of those succulent tits of hers. It was risky, but he did it; stayed with her for a grand total of 19 days, and even caught a brief glance of her ample breasts.

128. Jackson 5
"Never Can Say Goodbye" 2:57
Maybe Tomorrow
Gary, IN

To her, 19 days was enough with this fucking asshole always trying to express a life-long romantic excursion down the passageways of blissful extravagance that only two beautiful hearts could ever experience. His excessive romanticism and sweetheart poetry was downright nauseating. There were lots of men eager to see her perky little titties, and she enjoyed flaunting them for excessive amounts of swooning attention. She had been gone for nearly 3 days, but Austin was determined to win her love back. It had been a painful heartbreak, but those 19 days were so magnificent that he was not willing to relinquish those passions just yet.

127. Bullet
"White Lies, Blue Eyes" 2:55
White Lies, Blue Eyes
New York, NY

His approach had significanly more meaning to him than it did for her. The reason for this was because Austin Pierre was acting in the fashion that he had been taught made him a man; that he should have the ability to conquer a woman and govern her however he pleased… and however he pleased placed strong emphasis on her physical attractiveness and little on her intellect and her personal interests. He had developed this attribute from being molded into the norms of society created by unreliable narrators. No person in his personal history of development knew anything spectacular in regards to divine human characteristics he simply saw a set of breasts and distorted all interaction with her to configure her words to somehow relate to physical attraction.

126. Grand Funk Railroad
"No Lies" 3:58
E Pluribus Funk
Flint, MI

The majority of the people who flirted with Allison Marie were the exact same person. They used the exact same pick-up lines, told the exact same stories, dressed the same, looked the same, and utilized the exact same tactics in order to try and impress her. This is that person who stumbles into a place and aggressively approaches a girl he does not even know strictly because of her ample tits. This shithead often spends lavishly on drinks for this same girl. About once a month, the salesman actually scores with a hot babe (at the expense of $683); the scantily dressed attention seeker has a slew of douches she has fucked while drunk that she dreadfully regretted for a span of 4 days.

125. Candi Staton
"Mr. And Mrs. Untrue" 3:28
Candi Staton
Hanceville, AL/Stone Mountain, GA

Sex is better for women than it is for men. There is nothing better than simply lying back on a bed, eyes closed, and enjoying the sensation of having a cock inside of me, thrusting passionately in and out of my wet stimulated pussy. It is a sensational feeling having a live element of the human anatomy inside of my body—guys do not experience this except during anal intercourse. But, they do not have pussies, and therefore have no idea what it feels like to have one massaged. Most often, we do not even have to do anything, just lay there and relax… and have repeated orgasms. Despite the fact this is such an exhilarating pleasure, I choose to only engage in this activity when it presents the opportunity of financial security. I act this way because it is how I've been taught to act... all people who lived before me, forefathers (not mothers) know what is best for everybody.

124. Ike & Tina Turner
"Proud Mary" 4:59
Workin' Together
St. Louis, MO

Unknown and unplanned. Austin needed to escape and boarded a cruise ship down the river Styx, which was now flowing blood red with several dead animals floating in it. Allison needed to escape as well, and boarded the exact same cruise ship as Austin, which was due to set sail down the Thames River into a tropical paradise that resembled interpretations of a place discussed in a popular book called Heaven. Half of the boat obviously sank, and the other half of the boat had to continuously tug the half that never had any discourse to remain afloat.

123. Don McLean
"American Pie" 8:39
American Pie
New Rochelle, NY

From the deep rivers filled with blood emerged a man in a blood soaked elegant suit, sunglasses, and a set of water skis. Unscathed by the continuous disastrous plunge half of the ship seemed to be unable to avoid, he merely attached himself to the ruined rear panel and enjoyed the ride, basking in the sunshine, allowing the blood from the river to splash across his smiling face. With him, nine people returned from the dead. Among them, George, Junior, Connie, Elizabeth, Donna, Virgil, Leander, a rabbit named Vernon, and the former American President Grover Cleveland. They took a seat on the back patio, enjoying cold drinks, blood, and sunshine. Junior tossed a fruity cocktail, that was in a brightly polished glass of ice decorated with an elegant purple umbrella, off the back towards the man water skiing in the river of blood; he caught the glass, sipped the straw, smiled, and waved to Junior as a token of appreciation. This was the beginning of a magical reunion.

122. Sammi Smith
"Help Me Make It Through The Night" 2:34
Help Me Make It Through the Night
Orange, CA (1943)-Oklahoma City, OK (2005)

Dead Connie descended into the portion of the ship that had sunk. During her life, she never risked exploring the pits of a distressed ship. Instead, she resided on a ship that barely floated, but at least it floated. The mere fact that it floated provided a sense of comfort; yet there was constant discomfort in knowing that she ship was never going to guide her to her desired destination. She had feared loneliness and the threat of potential failure to the extreme that she never even attempted to embark on a different journey. It was her choice; she chose to experience a sunken ship in preparation if she should encounter any obstacles during her journey. Somebody, somewhere, maybe a new set of friends she had never encountered, would help her through the night.

121. Jean Knight
"Mr. Big Stuff" 2:31
Mr. Big Stuff
New Orleans, LA

I am going to fuck Allison Marie. I know this because I am a rich man and I can do anything I want. I wear fancy clothes and I drive a luxurious automobile. Martin challenged Louis. I do not think you can fuck Allison Marie. I will bet you $50. The bet was made, and Louis approached Allison Marie the exact same way thousands of others had before him and employed the exact same methods that worked only occasionally. Allison Marie was on a journey to Paradise, an escape from past turmoil, and Louis was a representation of past turmoil. Louis informed Martin that he did indeed fuck Allison Marie, and that he owed him $50.

120. Ten Years After
"Hard Monkeys" 3:11
A Space in Time
London, England

Virgil had been killed by another man in his stint during life. The ruling of the murder was self-defense. He confessed the details of the whole ordeal and did not disagree with the ruling. I was going to rape a woman. I had broken into their home, burglarized the house, and I was going to rape the woman inside. Her boyfriend, however, retaliated, and killed me. He punched me in the throat and I died from asphyxiation. Looking back, I deserved that. Now that I have returned, it is up to me to make amends. During this stint, I do not wish to be blessed; rather, I wish to be a blessing.

119. The Undisputed Truth
"Smiling Faces Sometimes" 3:35
The Undisputed Truth
Detroit, MI

You didn’t really fuck Allison Marie, did you? No. Louis was caught in his lie and was asked to return the $50. Virgil knew this. He was met with deceit, even though that was deserved. The woman’s boyfriend smiled at him, told him that they were into kinky things in the bedroom, and they were excited for this—that he was looking forward to watching him fuck his girlfriend. While Virgil was taking off his shirt, the boyfriend punched him in the throat, and that ultimately killed him. En route to Paradise, the men in suits smiled, shook hands, exchanged cards, drank cocktails, and discussed elements of the two most important items on Earth—money and pussy—both of which equated to power.

118. Elton John
"Tiny Dancer" 6:17
Madman Across the Water
London, England

Leander was shocked that it had returned. It sat perched on the center of the ship, seated on the side that was afloat with its’ feet dangling down towards the portion that had sank. The world continued to go on without Leander, just as it did when the thing was alive. Nobody understood Leander, and was not even sure what exactly Leander even was. Many viewed Leander as a monster simply because there was not another species alive that resembled Leander. They put Leander in a freak show, and when Leander escaped, the society in which Leander longed to fit in sought to capture Leander and place Leander in a prison. It was the elements about Leander that was unknown that scared people.

117. Vainica Doble
"El Duende" 3:01
Vainica Doble
Madrid, Spain

The island seemed deserted to some. After the sunken portion of the ship finally detached itself, it crashed upon the shores of the desolate island; followed by the roaring enthusiasm of a man who had been water skiing. They swam to the shore, rising up from the blood, and explored the island. It seemed tranquil, but littered with sharp, rusted, slithers of steel. It appeared this serene Paradise had been stricken with disaster.

116. Roy Harper
"Hors d'Oeuvres" 8:37
Manchester, England

There was a 60 pound cobra loose on the island. It had escaped captivity and was being hunted by the brigade who would stop at nothing until the beast was slayed. There was perfect sunshine, a pleasant beach, palm trees, and a cocktail bar. Vacationers were lying out on the beach; however, they were but skeletons lying on beach chairs, basking in the sun. The entire beach was littered with human skeletal remains, and a body was floating in the water. Allison Marie walked the beach in deep thought, seemingly ignoring the fact that all the people relaxing in the beach chairs were skeletons. She was soon joined by Elizabeth, who had once been exactly like her, but never escaped to Paradise. After her looks depleted, nobody wanted anything to do with her—being beautiful was all she ever knew.

115. Joni Mitchell
"Little Green" 3:28
Fort Macleod, AB, Canada

Elizabeth stopped and stared at a skeleton basking in the sun on a beach chair. It looked exactly like Julie; it was Julie. She had gone to California one night and was never seen again. The skeleton of Julie sat up in the chair and grasped Elizabeth’s hand; another skeleton pleasantly strummed a guitar as Julie sang. Her life flashed before the audience; something needed to be done, and she walked from that miserable life forever. It was a sign of encouragement; for several years nothing ever went right for Julie—but she found that happy ending. As the song concluded, and the images of Julie’s life went from despair to pleasing, the cocktail lounge opened, and the skeletons were joined with an array of living people who pulled up chairs and relaxed on the peaceful beach.

114. Comus
"The Prisoner" 6:15
First Utterance
Beckenham, England

A dreadful feeling of terror presided over the island regarding the 60 pound cobra that had been set loose. It was lurking in the forest with its evil eyes watching. Leander stumbled upon the gigantic snake while wandering in the woods. There was a shared feeling of resentment as the two stared at each other, then peacefully ceased any tension and congregated amongst themselves. The cobra, Archibald, spoke to Leander and related deplorable acts of maltreatment that had been stricken upon him since being captured by the settlers of the island. They had tranquilized him, imprisoned him, and then displayed the snake proudly to tourists; they even conducted experiments on the enormous cobra, and took turns attempting to stifle the beast as if they had something to prove. It was a reminiscence of an injustice Leander knew all too well.

113. Tom Jones
"She's a Lady" 2:51
Sings She's a Lady
Pontypridd, Wales/Los Angeles, CA

Austin would never mistreat Allison Marie. Granted his primary interest were those succulent boobs of hers, he also somewhat enjoyed her presence whenever she accompanied him anywhere. He did not realize this until after she dumped his stupid ass... something changed after that. His primary goal in life was for Allison Marie to be with him everywhere he went. Even when they were not together, he still imagined that they were, and often fantasized about them doing everything together. He even assumed that if she were with him on the ship that it would not have sank.

112. Master's Apprentices
"Because I Love You" 4:31
Choice Cuts
Adelaide, Australia

A group of salesman was attempting to court Allison Marie when Austin entered the picture with a guitar, singing a love song to her. She represented the whole purpose of his life; granted it was only for a few short weeks. He sincerely loved her and it was time for him to realize that she could be anything she wanted, and he would never seek to control her—this was the first lesson learned on that day. In fact, he would not even mind if she sucked a few of these salesmen’s cocks here and there to earn some extra cash—not everything was perfect in one day; and he had been inadvertently sucking salesmen cocks ever since he took that office job in the corporate suite. And everything he would ever do in life, would be for one reason and one reason only… because he loved her the way a suburban man loves his riding lawnmower—the human race is a work in progress.

111. Out Of Focus
"Blue Sunday Morning" 8:20
Out Of Focus
Munich, Germany

The blood soaked man in the suit who water skied the entire trip was named Desmond; he had the perfect posture and seemed to know everything. He advised Austin that he needed to notice other admirable traits within Allison besides her ample breasts. Back in the day, he had a multitude of options, but committed to only one of them—and it may have unknowingly been the wrong one. They claimed that he might have even been deemed the chosen one, but heeded advice devised by unreliable sources and steered people in the wrong direction. This time, he was sent back to improve a desolate world that had been led astray down a passageway of decadence and despair. Just look at their faces; all of them feared superficial repercussions; Desmond knew of none. He returned to the Earth in unorthodox fashion to save humanity from becoming improperly proper.

110. Chicago
"What Else Can I Say" 3:15
Chicago, IL

All of those on board the ship suddenly became transparent. The skeletons returned to life and were frolicking playfully on the beach. It was a fine day, this day in the past on this island that was supposedly uncharted. Children waded in the water and proud mothers played with beach balls. Off in the distance, however, there was a disturbing blackness bubbling underneath in the waters. Those living today watched in their transparency, most of them uninterested in the historical event that took place on this day.

109. O.V. Wright
"Don't Let My Baby Ride" 3:00
A Nickel and a Nail and Ace of Spades
Leno, TN (1939)-Mobile, AL (1980)

And in one quick flash, the past adjoined the present. All of the people on board the sunken ship regained their visibility as it was now back then. The lounge opened, and the band played under the lighted canopy as men in modern day suits and ties laid out on the beach alongside those bathing suits from the roaring 20’s. A teenage girl in a skimpy two-piece bathing suit walked down the street carrying a wrench. She crawled underneath a car, lied flat on her back, unscrewed the oil pan, and allowed the motor oil to spill all over her bare body, smearing it on her legs, her back, her face, until she was covered. The girl emerged from underneath the vehicle and walked to the beach, leaving a trail of black footprints. The motor oil was her suntan lotion, and she lay out in the sun collecting the rays. At the end of the evening, there was patch of dead grass in the yard in the shape of a human body, similar to a snow angel.

108. Merle Haggard
"I Can't Be Myself" 2:54
Bakersfield, CA

I’m not sure if I killed myself or not. It definitely was not an intentional suicide, but I think I probably could have prevented it. Back then I was married, and I mistakenly married a nagging control freak bitch. For a multitude of reasons, divorce did not seem a viable option—nor was leaving her. I supposed I took that “til death us part” shit seriously. I was bitter, and I was sick to death of her constantly trying to dictate my life, expecting me to obey her commands and be the person who she wanted me to be—the person I wasn’t. I saw it coming, I could have dodged out of the way quite easily, but I didn’t; I allowed the impact to end my life because, at the time, I was mad at her. I don’t know how I feel about this now.

107. May Blitz
"In Part" 6:11
The 2nd of May
London, England

I left work bitterly angry that day. Stupidly, I allowed myself to get angry over what should have been a petty concern. I work at a grocery store and somebody had left a loaf of bread laying nowhere near it where it appropriately belonged. It was the world’s greatest mystery: “Who put this loaf of bread here, of all places?” That mysterious loaf of bread resting on an end cap plagued my happiness, and finally I had to go put the mother fucker back where it belonged. The rest of the day I pondered just who, exactly, and why, put that loaf of bread at the end of the baking aisle setting in the potato chips display.

106. Leaf Hound
"With a Mintue to Go" 4:19
Growers of Mushroom
London, England

During my last minute of existence, my head was filled with dreadful thoughts. There was no way that I was going to spend my life living in misery, and that asshole bitch that I was married to was wrecking my life. All I could think about was her nagging and complaining, and how much I never wished to see her again. As a matter of fact, I wished that she were dead, and I was contemplating hiring a hit man to take her to the lake and drown her ass. I was so consumed with my plots of murdering this filthy hoe that I stepped right into traffic. The car was coming, I could have ran, but I remained still… fuck it, fuck my life.

105. Nektar
"The Dream Nebula (Part 1)" 2:16 + "The Dream Nebula (Part 2)" 2:27
Journey to the Centre of the Eye
Hamburg, Germany

I was still pissed off about the loaf of bread lying mysteriously on the shelf as I was driving home. Some miserable fucking asshole simply stepped right out in front of me. He was up in the distance quite a bit, and I could have avoided the whole thing had I immediately applied the brakes or swerved. But, I did none the such. The moment this fucking douchebag stepped into the road, I immediately suspected that he was the fucking asshole who ditched the loaf of bread on the potato chips display. When I saw him, all I could picture was him looking around the store to make sure the coast was clear, ditching the loaf of bread, and then dashing out of the store. I was so enraged that I actually hit the gas pedal first and ended up plowing the fucker down in the middle of the street.

104. John Cale and Terry Riley
"Church Of Anthrax" 9:05
Church Of Anthrax
Garnant, Wales/New York, NY/Colfax, CA

We were walking home and it was a dismal day. The sky was gray and nobody was sure if it was going to rain or if the clouds would break and the sun would shine. What a weird fucking day that was. It was as if the whole region had become The Bermuda Triangle as the community was plagued with bizarre occurrences. Some mysterious entity from an unknown void of the cosmic Intersect Interstellar I-19 placed a loaf of bread in a bizarre location. This seemingly offset the balance of everything as the flow of humanity was disrupted by an infusion of eccentricity and paradoxical energy. On that day, the clouds never broke, and it rained frozen snow peas with an average temperature of 83 degrees.

103. My Solid Ground
"Dirty Yellow Mist" 13:07
My Solid Ground
Rüsselsheim, Germany

They’re all dead. They killed all of them. All of these people here, the skeletons on the beach, they were all killed. It was they who killed them. You know who they is; the powers that be. There was something lingering in these forests, those trees were a disturbance. There was something about the residency on this land that generated a yearning for something that was never there. An unknown happiness that required none of their dependency whatsoever troubled them. It was as if they were jealous that these people were able to sustain themselves; that they were extremely happy without their assistance. In order to make their presence felt, they sent the squad of airplanes flying over the seas. They hadn’t offended anybody, and none of the attackers had even met any of them, just simply obeyed the commander as if he was actually knowledgeable on their divine culture. As you can tell, they were rejoicing happily, many of them relaxing, not bothering anybody. Those airplanes dropped missiles, fired weapons, and bombed the innocent civilians. On that day, they all died.

102. Popol Vuh
"Vuh" 19:53
In den Gärten Pharaos
Munich, Germany

One explosion devastated the entire area. It landed in the middle of a desolate region, but was seen and heard for miles. There was a mystic vapor that swept across the island. A missile of this magnitude had never been dropped before; somebody had designed a device that was capable of producing a gas that could ultimately trigger genocide. As the red gaseous vapor slowly drifted across the horizon, the unsuspecting civilians unknowingly inhaled the fume, and never exhaled. The corrosive red smoke swept over the people and left nothing but death and decay. Not even 30 minutes ago, these fully decomposed skeletons were dexterous living humans; the device of death wiped away all of their tissues and organs that fast. It was perhaps the deadliest slaughter in history; and easily the most senseless.

101. Caravan
"Nine Feet Underground" 22:43
In the Land of Grey and Pink
Canterbury, England

We did it all for the oil, the gold, and a select few other resources. Our economy was that important, and we needed all of the valuable fineries offered on this island. Yes, we are the leaders of the free world, with thousands of miles of arable land. We had nearly 300 million people living with us, the finest schools, and everything. However, because of several inadequacies, we were never able to substantially sustain ourselves. We became excessively dependent on others and were constantly bickering about trade agreements and tariffs and what not.

My personal opinion, the conditions imposed by other territories should not have mattered to us. All we needed to do was lower education costs so that we could educate everybody; and once we had 300 million educated people working together, we could have developed advanced technologies and created more viable substitutes—that we would no longer even need oil, we would not need gold, we could grow our own food, and manufacture our own products. If anybody wished to purchase our products, they may, at the suggested retail price. And if any of our own wished to purchase products from other regions, then they may do that also, at the suggest retail price as adopted by the manufacturer.

Somewhere along the lines, we stopped manufacturing our own products, required assistance from the foreign territories, and then attempted to dictate the regulations. But this area, they were plenty wealthy with an abundance of those resources—gold, oil, and everything a great nation needs. We were the ones jealous of their freedom, so we tried to take it. Instead, we killed all of them with our much maligned missile of mass destruction. But, the weapon was so powerful that it poisoned the resources—the air here is unsafe to breath. We polluted the environment, spent billions of dollars, and received nothing in return.

Top Image by: Perplexing Times
Bottom Image by: Facebook (common)

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