2013/12/23

Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer... Re-invented

The North Pole, Population: 0
Nobody lives on The North Pole... and here's why:

(Cue lame music)

Rudolph the red nosed reindeer,
had a very shiny nose,
but the only ones who ever liked it,
was a bunch of stupid hoes

All of the other reindeer,
were so mother fucking lame,
Rudolph was getting sick and tired,
of dealing with their bullshit games.

Then one foggy Christmas Eve,
Santa was eating curds and whey,
And Rudolph with his nose so bright,
gave the miserable fat sack of shit such a terrible fright

Then all the reindeer panicked,
And Rudolph shouted with a loaded Uzi....

"Dondor, Blitzen, and whatever the fuck the rest of you asshole's names are... here's how you're going to go down in history...

Get this drunken fat miserable piece of shit up off of the God damn floor, gather up all them God damn elves, grab all those stupid ass fucking toys, put all that lame ass shit in the back of a one horse open sleigh-- whatever the fuck those things are-- clean all the reindeer shit off the God damn roof, and get the fuck out of here... and take these God damn hoes with you. Go back to fucking Kansas where all you fucking losers came from in the first place!!!!"

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