The Shining Page 6

PART 6: You've Always Been The Caretaker

Once again, Jack was off to finish the #1 priority on his list of chores for the evening… murder his wife.

Back to Wendy, isn’t a bit odd that she was sound asleep when Danny entered the room with the lipstick? She had just struck her husband with a baseball bat and dragged him into the freezer. Her son was acting even more fucked up than ever and supposedly her entire goal was take him to a doctor. When she finally got a free moment to possibly do something productive, the lazy ass bitch went to bed and took a fucking nap. Who the fuck could sleep in these conditions? Having the ability to fall sound asleep during moments of adversity with urgent matters developing is a defining characteristic.

Maybe that little snooze was exactly what she needed.

Jack is the caretaker, had been awarded full disclosure of the entire hotel, and was even given the keys to all of the rooms. Despite having access to the entire hotel, coupled with the mysterious ability of having a friendly ghost who was capable of opening freezer doors, Jack opted to enter Wendy’s room by means of busting the door down with an axe.

It should also be known that during the initial tour of The Overlook Hotel; the Torrance’s were never officially shown where the axes were kept. However Jack found the hotel axe is a complete mystery, being as he had not been doing any work since he arrived. You know he was never intending to chop any firewood.

The next series of events is quite possibly the most famous sequences in the movie, and among the most notable in history. These alone would be good enough to earn the film a 5 star rating, but we have already witnessed numerous “best scenes in history” already.

While chopping through the doors with the axe, Jack Nicholson gives us some of the best lines ever displayed on the big screen. The most notable would have to be “Heeeere’s Johnny!” Even though this is vintage horror, and a climactic scene of fright, audiences had no choice but laugh and watch the entire drama unfold with a warm smile on their faces.

There is no such book that specifically lists the guidelines as how one should conduct themselves in the event that their spouse is chasing after them with an axe. However, Wendy’s ever growing list of positive attributes to write on her resume competently displays how to effectively handle this sometimes adverse situation; she is immediately forgiven for falling asleep with Jack locked in the freezer. She did all the right things in order to escape. First, she went to the bathroom, then threw Danny out the window (I’m sure she had been meaning to do this for quite some time now) and then patiently awaited Jack’s entrance.

In general, most women are too stupid to escape the killer in horror movies. Usually, they try to run away, screaming loudly while crying the entire time, and normally fall on a minuscule object such as a twig in the forest. Once they fall, they generally sit there on the ground pouting until they are finally finished off. Rarely in horror movies will women put forth maximum effort and fight until the death.

There have been two such cases where a horror movie woman had to utilize every means possible in order to escape a diabolical. One being the final woman in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (who, by the way, never entered the household without being invited) and the other being Wendy. When comparing the two cases, this is when a person could finally write “Escaping an Axe Murderer for Dummies” guideline.

The girl in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre went deep into survival mode and never slowed down. First, she had to run through the woods with Leatherface chasing after her with a chainsaw. Many film characters will often stop and take smoke breaks while being viciously pursued with a chainsaw, or utilize this as an opportunity to forget how to walk or run properly. She did no such thing. And when she was finally apprehended and brought into the house, she jumped out the 2nd story window… unconcerned with her hair, her makeup, being cut with glass, or falling two stories. Having obviously suffered, at bare minimum, a twisted ankle, the now blood soaked woman was fully determined to escape and made it to safety in the road. Even the stupid son-of-a-bitch in the semi who stopped for assistance could not prevent her from being killed. (Why the fuck they didn’t just leave in the semi is a total mystery.)

Wendy also put forth maximum effort. She was, at first, simply standing by the wall, crying, looking like a dumb white girl, even while she was holding a large knife. Normally, when a white girl in a horror movie has a knife, it’s quite possible that she will never even use it, have it taken away from her, or fall down and accidentally stab herself with it. For the first moments, it appeared that Wendy might not have the courage to actually use the knife. But, when her own husband reach inside to unlatch the door, she sliced his hand open, spurting blood everywhere, and temporarily avoiding being murdered.

It was so cold outside, that Danny actually ran back inside The Overlook Hotel with his father running with an axe. This is why you should always have a jacket handy when you are being chased by a family member with an axe. But then again, where the fuck was Danny going to go anyway? KFC was closed, there wasn’t a Walgreen’s anywhere in sight, and the Jo-Ann Fabrics had been flattened when some asshole dropped one of the park benches and sent it tumbling down the mountain.

Dick Hallorann showed up to save the day. However, his presence at The Overlook Hotel didn’t last long. He entered, hollered out for the Torrance’s, and then was quickly subdued with an axe in the chest. This is why people at KFC and Jo-Ann Fabrics opt not to give a shit about their jobs while they are off the clock. Simply put, thinking about work when you should be on vacation could result in an axe in the chest.

The killing of Dick is yet another intense moment. Once again, the music makes it even better. Kubrick opted to depict this with several different angles as well… and the final sequence is the close-up of the axe plunging into the chest. Just like that, the supposed “Christ-like” figure had been killed by the “Satanic” figure. Or, the white had once again brutalized all that was pure simply for the sake of earning an income… in the fashion in which unreliable narrators earn their living.

Once again, I was interrupted by the same friends later on that night. This time, while discussing the racial aspects of the movie, somebody took the side of the same aforementioned friend who was quoted earlier, and he once again provided another wonderful quote:

“See, that’s what I was saying. And there are no implications that Dick Hallorann is a pedophile trying to give little boys chocolate.
(To Cameron) Thank you.
(To Will) Thank you.
(To me) And fuck you!”

~Chris Ballard

Regardless, as I said earlier, killing somebody at this hotel is not a good option because it would make a mess and eventually start stinking. Jack did not think about this, and now there is a dead man in the corridor with an axe in his chest. The blood spilling onto the floor would be a serious pain in the ass to wash off the carpet. And who knows where the fuck a person could dispose of him, especially at that hour.

Immediately, and because he had the ability to predict certain elements of the future, Danny developed a sense of urgency because he knew that the corpse of Dick Hallorann was going to be stinking up the entire hotel in just a short time. The pungent stench of that odor coming out of the elevator was far more frightening than the blood spilling. Without hesitation, and without waiting around to catch a glimpse of that God awful smell, Danny emerged from his hiding space and dipped the fuck out of there.

Jack limped after him an axe. This was yet another spontaneous decision because he should have known that he was not going to catch him due to the fact that he was limping.

Wendy, on the other hand, opted to not leave the hotel right away. Instead, she decided that this might be a good time to go investigate some of the rooms. What follows is a series of random weird scenes that also often referenced.

And yet, another one of the most famous scenes in history.

This time, while Wendy was plotting her escape, she witnessed a person in a bear costume giving oral sex to a man in a suit. Once again, both the timing of the camera angles and the intensity of the music makes this all the more appealing. Some claim this to be the freakiest, creepiest, most disturbing scene in history.

Honestly, I am deeply saddened by how this scene is perceived by audiences. This is the one scene in the film in which I can personally relate and it bothers me how people claim to be so freaked out by this. Here I thought this whole time that everybody from time-to-time had sexual excursions with somebody in a bear costume. Heck, I’ve even showed up for late night booty calls dressed in a bear costume myself. Seriously, I just didn’t know that it was considered so appalling.

In the end, Jack finally got it in the maze. He did not display the same determination as the girl in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre when he was chasing after Danny. Danny outsmarted him, retraced his footsteps, and disappeared where his father couldn’t find him. And Jack, poor Jack, gave up and froze to death in the damn hedge maze. This is going to look absolutely shitty on his resume and he can totally forget about ever receiving a decent job reference from The Overlook Hotel.

Poor Danny nearly lost both of his parents on the same night. After Wendy finally escaped The Overlook Hotel, her stupid ass was running around in the slippery snow carelessly grasping that humungous butcher knife. Finally, just before she slipped and accidentally killed herself, they jumped in Dick’s snow cat and fled the scene.

Since Walgreen’s wasn’t open, this meant that poor Dick Hallorann would more than likely begin decomposing in the hotel foyer.

We are left with what I consider my favorite photo in history. It is old picture of The Grand Ballroom at The Overlook Hotel with Jack Nicholson as the caretaker dated July 4, 1921. Jack had always been the caretaker… and always will. There will always be a history of freakish violence associated with all occurrences that take place at this hotel because it is forever cursed. Grady must have always been there.

And, we learned that freezing process is effective with humans because more than likely Jack will thaw out and pull this shit again next year.

This picture reminds me of an old photograph that I have of myself. Just like “The Caretaker” photograph, it is in black and white and represents a period of history that might be deceitfully blemished. The photograph is of me, wearing a bear costume, seated on the floor of a walk-in refrigerator. It is dated July 4, 1921.

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Written, Designed, and Music Compiled by Tony J. Neal



1. Jack Hylton & His Orchestra
"Masquerade"  3:16
The Shining Soundtrack

2. Harry Nilsson
"Everthing's Got 'Em"  2:29
The Point!

3. Kid Silver
"Racing Daylight"  4:49
Dead City Sunbeams

4. The Walkmen
"We've Been Had"  3:29
Everyone Who Pretended to Like Me Is Gone

5. Helvetia
"The Drowning End"  5:03
The Clever North Wind

6. The Sea and Cake
"Showboat Angel"  4:39
The Sea and Cake

7. White Denim
"Light Light Light"  4:20
Last Day Of Summer

8. Flotation Toy Warning
"Even Fantastica"  7:29
Bluffer's Guide to the Flight Deck

9. Pink Floyd
"Careful With That Axe, Eugene"  8:51

10. White Noise
"My Game Of Loving"  4:11
An Electric Storm

11. Unwound
"Hexenzsene"  4:34
New Plastic Ideas

12. Walter Wegmüller
"Die Hohepriesterin"  4:17

13. The Velvet Underground
"Ocean"  5:12

14. Kryzysztof Penderecki
"Polymorphia"  9:06
The Shining Soundtrack

15. Sword
"Evil Spell"  4:23

16. Vasilisk
"Acqua"  7:17
Liberation And Ecstasy

17. Mojave 3
"Writing To St. Peter"  5:58
Spoon And Rafter

Photo credits:
Here's Johhny:  Plantivity.com
Wendy with the knife:  The Film Emporium
Bear Costume:  The Wolfman Cometh
1921:  Wikipedia

Please note: I wrote this without reading any other analysis or interpretations from any other source. Any similarities to any other source is unintentional and strictly coincidental. Also, this is intended to be taken humorously and not subject to any reasonable or discussion pertaining to the film. This is in no way shape or form supported by Stanley Kubrick, Stephen King, or any of the characters of the film. (In fact, I do not even support most of it.) Furthermore, the content contained within is not intended as an educational guideline or to be in reference to any other interpretation or analysis.

I recently watched The Shining last week at a special viewing in Asheville, and that is what has spawned the latest obsession with the film. It was perhaps the 50th time I have watched this movie and I now have the ability to recite most of the movie by heart.

Admittedly, I have never read the book— I am curious how much of this preliminary analysis will be accurate upon reading the book, for I suspect that Kubrick had altered a significant portion of the original text, made a few additions and subtractions, and, with the assistance of the now-historical performances, adapted Stephen King’s work into an entirely different creation than what it was initially intended.

POST REVISION NOTE: Upon obtaining the above "1921" picture on Wikipedia, there apparently is an interpretation that implies Kubrick's version of The Shining is possibly used to symbolize the genocide of The Native Indians. Therefore, some of my rants may be accurate. However, this is not associated with that analysis in any regard. Also, that analysis came first.


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