The Shining Page 2

Indecent Interpretation of The Shining
Part II: White People

(Press Play to hear the Alternate Soundtrack)

Some serious shit went down in the bathroom that day. When Tony revealed to Danny what he did not like about the hotel, Danny couldn’t handle the severity of that fucked up shit, which involved gallons of blood spilling from the elevator... the poor little bastard fainted in the bathroom. The next thing you know, a doctor had shown up at the house to perform an examination.

It should be known that Danny is an only child and there is such a thing as “only child syndrome” which consists of these kids being overly spoiled by their parents. The fact the doctor showed up at the Torrance’s home should lead us to believe that they are indeed the perfect candidates to be holed up in a hotel for an entire winter without catching cabin fever. In the incident in which their only child dangerously collapsed in the bathroom, Wendy Torrance still did not leave the house. If she can’t get her lazy ass out of the house to even take her God damn kid to the hospital, it’s obvious it takes some sort of an omen for her to leave her home.

The decision to have the doctor be a woman is another curious one for those who choose to monitor these sorts of roles, especially considering how the secretary during the interview was such an obedient servant. Rather than be obedient and fetch coffee for the Torrance family as the secretary would, this bitch actually pried deep into their personal life and asked a series of uncomfortable questions. She did not seem to approve of Danny’s imaginary friend as much as Wendy did. In fact, she found this to be some seriously fucked up shit and kept investigating until finally realizing that he had suffered an injury that may or may not have been related to Jack’s drinking.

This family seems to be plagued with bad habits and Jack’s drunken behavior raises a lot of issues. The episode occurred while Jack, then a school teacher, was grading homework papers and Danny was disrespecting the organization of the papers. What the fuck kind of teacher grades papers at home while sloppy ass drunk and in a near abusive state? More than likely, all of these papers received some fucked up grades that caused massive confusion in the classroom. Perhaps this is why Jack is now unemployed and seeking employment at an isolated hotel 3.5 hours away, even though he has not touched a drop of alcohol in five whole months.

Five months is really not that long of a time to be sober; I mean, they do not give out special chips for that length of sobriety. Five months is not that long of a time in any measure. Supposedly it had kept Danny out of school even though he was showing no lingering side effects from the shoulder injury—an injury that might put an athlete on I.R. If you want my opinion, I think that Danny faked the injury just to get out of school, which explains a lot about his behavior and the type of parenting he had received.

Another bad habit is the excessive smoking. Wendy not only smokes in the house, which hardly anybody does these days, but even smokes shamelessly in the presence of her family physician, which is a serious infraction of moral values. To make matters even more obtuse, she offered a cigarette to the doctor. Fortunately for her, she avoided a prolonged lecture about the dangers of smoking at the expense of her child fainting in the shitter.

This doctor was the only person in the film who showed any concern for Danny’s well-being regarding this incident. After Jack was hired by the hotel, he phoned home to tell Wendy that he got the job. She did not even mention that Danny collapsed in the corner while talking to Tony. At bare minimum, the doctor visiting the house for the examination was going to be costly; not having any prior knowledge of this expensive bill arriving in the mail could cause Jack to relapse on his drinking. Or, maybe since Jack obtained the position at an isolated hotel, Wendy simply didn’t give a flying fuck about the doctor bill and had no intentions whatsoever on ever paying it. The smart thing to do would have been to at least inform Jack of the incident and have him inquire whether or not the hotel offers a decent insurance plan.

They did not even bother to consider any of that and simply gathered their only child now with a history of fainting spells, threw his little monkey ass in the car, and declared he was now going to spend the entire winter, Christmas included, isolated in the hotel without any friends, Santa, or any other contact with the human race. Fuck it, school would have to come another year. Being as Jack was recently dismissed from his job for grading papers while severely intoxicated, he was more than likely boycotting school anyway. There is no way in Hell that Jack Torrance, a former school teacher, regarded his only child going to school as even moderately important.

Jack had the ability to educate Danny himself, home school him, and demonstrated his teaching skills in the car en route to the hotel. It is during this car ride where we might have some indication as to what Mr. Torrance the classroom teacher may have been like in the classroom. In fact, throughout the entire movie, it is extremely enjoyable to picture Jack Torrance conducting some of his actions in front of a classroom full of children.

On the way to the hotel, the Torrance family discussed the exact same typical children’s themed lame ass bullshit as every single other family does—cannibalism. Every God damn time you go somewhere and there’s a fucking little annoying ass kid in the car, the topic of conversation always turns to children’s bullshit such as toys, nursery rhymes, cannibalism, or elementary school subjects.

Like all parents do when relating this topic to their children (and all parents eventually HAVE to have the “cannibalism talk” in the same manner they must discuss the birds and the bees), Jack adamantly supported the decision for these people to resort to eating one another. “They had to, in order to survive,” he repeatedly enforced his argument completely neglecting any notion of eating plants.

Surprisingly, Danny already knew this shit because he had seen a program about it on TV. Where the fuck did Danny see a God damn show about cannibalism on that shitty ass TV they had back at the house? Jack seemed a bit bothered with the notion that Danny learned this from TV; which meant that Danny had watched The Cannibalism Episode of Sesame Street without his parent’s knowledge (you know this episode, the one where Bert & Ernie get evicted and while dumpster diving stumbled upon Oscar the Grouch and ate the hairy green mother fucker).

Again, this is another scene in the movie that has inspired me to do something different withmy life. My next career goal is to become a Mall Santa, and this WILL happen this Christmas—guaranteed! Instead of asking the children what the fuck they want for Christmas, I plan to discuss the aspects of cannibalism while they are sitting on my lap. Ideally, I would have them chewing on mannequin limbs for their photograph with Santa.

Once they finally reached The Overlook Hotel, thankfully avoiding a car accident in which they would have to resort to cannibalism and eat Danny’s stupid little monkey ass, the Torrance family received the Grand Tour. Wendy claimed that The Overlook Hotel was “the nicest place she had ever seen” which leads us to question what other places she might be comparing it with; The Overlook Hotel is, in fact, significantly more elegant than the average Travelodge. While they were receiving The Grand Tour, Danny, their only child who had recently fainted in the shitter, was left unattended in the game room.

In order to cope with his recent medical history of abruptly fainting in inconvenient places, Danny opted to play darts in the game room all by himself. He was intensely focused with his darts game as he obviously took that shit seriously. Danny took careful aim as he sized up the dart board and threw each dart with careful precision. However, he fucking sucked at darts and all three of the shots were not even anywhere near the bull’s-eye.

Although he had access to improve his dart game, and it was suggested by Jack that the game’s room was the ideal place to be, the room would never show up in the film again. The darts were even at his disposal to be used as a weapon for when shit began spinning wildly out of control and the little mother fucker never even considered them.

Perhaps it was because the game room may have been even more frightening than Room 237. Shortly after taking his shots, this is when we get our first glimpse of The Grady Girls. These two little twats were so creepy looking that they could not even attract a neglected child with a history of fainting spells. Or, maybe it is Danny who is the creepy one, because he made no attempt to even speak with them—it’s not like the little bastard had anything better else going on at the time. Hell, his only friend was some imaginary little shithead hiding in his stomach—surely being in the presence of two girls had to have been better than talking to his God damn finger all the time.

The girls did not speak to him either. It's increasingly obvious that they were simply laughing at Danny because he was such a shitty dart player—that they went back to the room and made fun of him for hours because he sucked so bad at darts. They were in the next room laughing, “Oh my God, like, he sucked so bad. Did you see that? He didn’t come close to hitting anything. OMG!”

We must credit Stephen King for creating these characters, who are also irreplaceable elements of the story. However, Kubrick took their presence to horrifying levels and their images are now widely known and a solid representation of quality horror scenes.

As the tour continued, we finally are able to meet Dick Hallorann, the head chef, played brilliantly by the irreplaceable Scatman Crothers. Dick Hallorann is the only black character in the film and was awarded the position “head chef.” Some people tend to notice the roles given to minorities as to determine any stereotypes or racist qualities contained within the story. Personally, I found certain aspects with this character to be a bit racist. Many of Stephen King’s stories take place in Maine, and Maine has one of the lowest percentages of black population of all the 50 states.

On a racist note however, his presence does give the film some horror credibility. It is widely known that pretty much all horror movies are the direct result of stupid white people and black comedians have ridiculed this aspect for decades. After watching Poltergeist recently, I attempted to boycott all movies that had any white people in it whatsoever. The best example of a black comedian making fun of white people in horror movies is Eddie Murphy discussing the movie The Amityville Horror.

My prime example is The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, which is supposedly a true story. There are no black people in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and white people are the only ones stupid enough to conduct any of the bizarre occurrences that took place with that tragedy. The entire Texas Chainsaw Massacre story could only be made possible with the presence of white people.

White people are the only ones who would have any interest whatsoever in driving all the way out to BFE fucking Texas just to go rummaging through an old house in which some of the members used to live… with the presence of a handicapped person in a wheelchair at that. Not all members previously lived in this house either, which meant that some people had to be persuaded to join the group to visit, of all places, an abandoned house. If somebody asked me if I wanted to drive all the way out to the middle of nowhere just to visit some old ass dilapidated house, I’d be like, “fuck no! I have better shit to do than that.”

The decision to drive all the way out there was bad enough, but these dumb ass fucking white people opted to pick up a sketchy hitch-hiker. Nobody in their right mind would pick up this hitch-hiker walking down the street. What were they hoping to do? Have wild sex with the guy? Or hopefully he had some weed?

They progressively became even stupider as the movie continued. Knocking on the neighbor’s door was perhaps bad enough, but when there wasn’t any answer, the white people simply entered the home without being invited. Who the fuck just walks into somebody’s house out in the middle of nowhere? White people: that’s who! Furthermore, immense effort was taken to make this house as creepy as possible—everything from human skulls scattered all over the floor to a chicken trapped in a bird cage. Even after discovering that this household is obviously owned by some deeply disturbed white people, the visiting white people remained in the household and investigated the premises while calling out for the residents.

Due to the fact that the white people were technically breaking and entering, Leatherface and company could have had all charges dropped based on the self-defense technicality. Furthermore, this is the state of Texas in which the government frequently looks for new and improved ways to support gun ownership… or in this case, the right to bear chainsaws.

If Dick Hallorann is able to remain employed at The Overlook Hotel, despite all of the obvious disturbances, then it should be deemed at least moderately acceptable for white people to opt to stay at the hotel for the winter.

Like Danny, Dick Hallorann possessed a special gift… The Shining (we are even informed of the meaning of The Shining, which, by the way, has nothing to do with the fucking movie.) Danny had a premonition that Dick would ask him if he wanted some ice cream. This isn’t much of a prediction and if he were smart, he would stop wasting his time trying to play games in which he obviously has no skill and develop a premonition of the winning lottery numbers. Should he have done this, his two-bit alcoholic father wouldn’t have to resort to working at a hotel for the entire winter and none of this shit would have ever happened.

He also knew that Dick was going to call Danny “Doc” and this caught the attention of Wendy who was absolutely astounded that Dick knew of such a ploy. Dick replied that he simply looked like a “Doc” and then proceeded to kneel down and perform a cartoonish Bugs Bunny impersonation close to Danny’s face. I attempted this exact same feat with some random child who entered my store and was consequentially pepper sprayed.

Just as Wendy was comfortable with Tony the Imaginary Friend, the Torrance’s showed no fears about leaving their child all alone in a strange kitchen with a full-grown black man they had just met… even though he implied, “hey little boy, you want some ice cream?” and Danny expressed his preference for chocolate. This could be perceived as yet another act of child negligence similar to leaving him alone with sharp pointed darts in the game room with his deteriorating condition, but it may be dismissed and relieving to know that the Torrance’s are not racists and comfortable around black people. Also, this gives us some clarification that the Torrance’s are not the stereotypical horror movie white people and have at least had moderate exposure to black folks… either in Vermont or Denver or Boulder or wherever the fuck it was these crackers hailed from. The honkeys in Texas Chainsaw Massacre would have left their child all alone with the hitch-hiker.

Supposedly, Dick was aware that Danny possessed The Shining. He and his grandmother could carry on full conversations without ever saying a word… and apparently Danny’s little monkey ass could do that shit too. Unfortunately, Danny could not do it… neither could Dick. “Why don’t you want to talk about it?” You should know this shit if you can read each other’s minds… the special power in which the film was named turned out to be somewhat of a fluke.

The Shining power is actually the least interesting aspect of the whole movie and rarely mentioned. Furthermore, it is the one element that lacks believability. But, Danny does have the powers to know certain aspects about some shit that he had no prior knowledge and had never been taught… such as some creepy fucked up shit that took place in Room 237.

Dick explained the tragic incident, but left out a majority of the details… even said there wasn’t anything in Room 237. It wasn’t nearly as graphic as the Cannibalism Story, nor did Dick attempt to justify the situation by claiming that Mr. Grady had to in order to survive. But, he adamantly concluded that there was “NOTHING” in there and that Danny had no business ever going in there.

Dick Hallorann knew damn good and well to stay well the Hell away from Room 237… The Torrance’s would have all winter to prove their whiteness.

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All Sections Written, Designed, and Music Compiled by Tony J. Neal



1. Henry Hall & The Gleneagles Hotel Band
"Home"  3:00
The Shining Soundtrack

2. Fred Frith
"Dependable Phantoms (For Hans)"  4:49
Guitar Solos

3. Tortoise
"Night Air"  3:50

4. Can
"Paperhouse"  7:28
Tago Mago

5. Piano Magic
"Snowfall Soon"  5:01
Low Birth Weight

6. Mice Parade
"My Workday In May"  6:18
The True Meaning Of Boodleybaye

7. The Beatles
"Rocky Raccoon"  3:41
The White Album

8. Massacre
"Subway Heart"  2:45
Killing Time

9. The Flowers Of Hell
"Darklands"  5:10
Come Hell Or High Water

10. Labradford
"S"  6:19
Mi Media Naranja

11. Black Light Burns
"The Opportunists"  4:39
Lotus Island

12. The Weird Weeds
"Song"  2:15
Hold Me

13. Kryzysztof Penderecki
"Utrenja (Ewangelia)"  2:21
The Shining Soundtrack

14. Vainica Doble
"La Rabieta"  4:10

15. Dzyan
"For Earthly Thinking"  9:39
Electric Silence

16. Picastro
"A Neck in the Desert"  4:13
Become Secret

17. Larval
"Her Last Good Day"  9:08

18. Oneohtrix Point Never
"Replica"  3:00

19. The Legendary Pink Dots
"No Star Too Far"  9:34
Seconds Late For The Brighton Line

20. Pierre Henry / Michel Colombier
"Rock Électronique"  9:53
Messe Pour Le Temps Présent

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