CHRISTMAS VACATION: CONFESSIONS OF A CONFUSED DOUCHE
SECTION THREE: NEW CASTLE, IN
Chapter XXIV: An American Anarcho Communist
Somebody once asked me if I was a Democrat or a Republican, and I replied “neither.” It was a child who asked me this, but in a group of adults. I knew I was in the minority in this group as most of them were Republicans. The kid asked what that meant.
I smiled as I tried to divert the situation, for most of them knew already knew that I was on a different level, “my beliefs are kind of illegal.” People laughed but the kid again asked what that meant.
A staunch Republican in the room responded with (defensively with a pleasant smile) “Taxes. All that left-wing crap wants to raise everybody’s taxes.”
Again, I just laughed. “I might do a little research before making that statement. I don’t even believe in the concept in the money; I’d personally rather see the whole system abolished.”
Another person joined in, “then what would you put in place instead of money?”
“Didn’t you learn that in school?”
“That’s right; they don’t teach that in schools. Haven’t you seen the answer on TV?”
“So you’re asking me this—as if I know these answers. I was born and raised in New Castle, IN and grew up in a $14,000 house. If I knew these answers, me, some regular person from New Castle, IN, that would really put a damper on a lot of people’s beliefs. Since this isn’t something taught in schools—that would mean that I devised an entire concept of economics, an entire new form of government all on my own, all by myself. That is visualizing a whole another world. They call those types of people visionaries of some sort.
That type of mentality, the ability to visualize an entirely different concept of life other than what has been taught for centuries, that type of mentality really (struggling not to cuss) really fucks with people’s heads.
In order to capitalize on that sort of mentality, a person would have to sacrifice everything. A small portion of the world would totally disagree with the entire concept and do everything to suppress that sort of idea; family members might disown a person like this; and if something did come out of it, that would put the person who devised these concepts into an entirely different category… and that’s a whole another way of life. Furthermore, doing that runs the risk of being assassinated.
These types of thought processes are deemed abnormal by most. This is the type of mentality that could get a person blacklisted. If somebody actually thought of this, it would make that person look differently, act different, maybe even walk different. A person might even lose the ability to engage in regular conversation. This is the type of behavior that could lead a person to be viewed differently in society, to be watched the police, to be monitored by the schools, to have an entire different set of expectations, to be unfairly audited by the government, to be constantly plagued with a seemingly endless streak of predicaments, to be judged differently, for what seems like no reason at all.
(I shrugged, and remained calm) I like my family; as it stands now, I chose them. I’m not going to elaborate on that type of concept here or now… one because it’s an entirely long process full of major details and it would take too long to explain, and two, it would only fall upon deaf ears in this group. And, it would only create an argument; to defy everything, that includes insulting many of the beliefs some people have stood for their entire lives.”
“It was an honest question.”
“Well, sometimes honest questions provoke honest answers. So, (I turned the tables) let me ask you then, an honest question. You believe in God, right?”
“What does that have to do with anything?”
“Nothing, you can believe whatever you want. But, let’s just say that, just for the hell of it, God came down to Earth; or a space alien, or some sort of messenger. Regardless who it was, it was a legitimate source whose credentials had been validated with undeniable evidence. They came to deliver a message informing the people of Earth that the planet was going to be destroyed in exactly one year. In exactly one year, we all had to evacuate the Planet Earth and make some other planet inhabitable. Given that situation, would you turn to Barrack Obama for all the answers?”
All the Republicans laughed.
And I continued, “Or even worse, Mitt Romney?” The laughter suddenly stopped. “Or for that matter, any politician? Any so called leader of the free world? When faced with the ultimate catastrophe, extinction of the human race, when faced with the ultimate emergency, would you depend on any person you ever voted for to devise the solution? Or, (again with a calm shrug) would you turn to people you trust and work together?”
After a pause in which they were thinking of an answer, I didn’t even allow them to answer the question.
“Let's assume this really happened. Given that certain situation, assume that we had to leave Earth within a year and inhabit another planet, do you think that we, as the human race, would be able do it? Do you think the human race is capable of pulling that remarkable feat off within one year?
Assume you are the type who checked yes, because, you believe anything is possible. Now, visualize the entire process the human race would have to go through in order to achieve this task.”
The same person who made the taxes remark stated, “Well, first you would have…”
I tried not to be rude, but I cut him off. “No. You’re not going to have this answer now, not today. I just now presented you with this question; there is a lot to consider with a situation this complex. In order for you, one person, to fully process all of that, you would be involved with saving the human race in a time of severe crisis, you need to ponder this for several days—maybe even months, years. To come up with this resolution, you would have to examine all facets of society and re-evaluate everything.
When faced with this, I can tell you this, money will not rescue the entire human race. A couple rich people would not be capable of achieving this entire process all alone. This would take a coalition of pretty much everybody working together. It would take getting rid of all the useless positions in society, such as a financial planner, or a strategic developer.
Now, take the threat of extinction out of the equation. Knowing that we could inhabit another planet within a year… (I paused to make sure everybody was paying attention) if we can, then why don’t we?”
Again it got quiet as people were juggling for answers.
“The problem is, there are answers to that question too. There are numerous reasons why we don’t. These are answers that people would rather not know about; people are simply more comfortable not knowing these things.
Did you know that the first light bulb ever invented is still burning?”
Somebody answered that as if I didn’t know, “yes. They made them burn out eventually as a means to market them. So that away they could sell more of them and make more money.”
I answered calmly with a pleasant smile, “well, I stood for the right thing. All of that wasted material, glass, metal, electrical components… tires are the worst. Did you know tires can be manufactured to last 500,000 miles? Disposal of tires is some pretty hazardous shit… that’s the type of shit that could lead to an eviction notice indicating that we have one year to migrate to another planet.
We could ponder the what ifs, we could remain comfortable with the current situation of life, we could put all of our hope in God coming to the rescue… or, we could, just achieve the improbable for the heck of it. But no, people would rather manufacture cheap tires to preserve what they had been led to believe provides a stable economy.
The worst part of all of this: once a person has visualized a better world, once a person has devised a system that is so advanced that the human race could potentially inhabit another planet within one year… it certainly makes waking up into this world… this real world… the world we’re currently living in… to put it simply, it makes this world downright fucking suck… especially knowing the answers as to why we don’t even try.”
I started to walk away calmly and go fetch something to drink, but some the girl in the group pulled me back into the vicinity by means of jerking me by the hood of my jacket. “Then what are the answers?”
“You already know the answers. Take away everything that ever learned from somebody else; only apply the things that you know for a fact from personal experience. Take away everything you ever saw on TV, take away everything the media said, take away everything you ever learned in school, take away everything your friends told you, take away what that girl said about that guy, about what this person said about that person, or what you heard about that place, that place over there, that place…those places you have never visited. Take away everything your parents taught you. In your eyes, your parents might be living legends… to the rest of the world, they’re just people. Hell, some people might even find them irritating. Sure, you love your parents, we all do…or at least we should. But, they don’t know all the answers; they've been misinformed just like everybody else.
In the process of doing this, question the reliability of every source from where you gathered your logic; question the credibility of the means in which you formulated your opinion. Once you have deleted all of the sources that may or may not be viable, you will have stripped away all prejudices, all misconceptions, all theories that have become formulated knowledge, and many of the commonly accepted standards of regular society might also be disproved as fallacious.
Let’s do an exercise. Clear your head for one second.
Who discovered America?”
“OK, I’ll accept your answers, but even those aren’t necessarily facts. It has been documented that there were already people living here when he arrived—so, America was already discovered. That’s an entirely different story for an entirely different time.
Now, knowing that America was “discovered” in 1492—just remember that; even then, the Lewis and Clark expedition supposedly did not take place until 1804 or so.
So I read in the Almanac the other day, some scientific factual shit… evidence you know… mother fucking science. It stated that 7,000 years ago, which count ‘em, that would be (this conversation took place in 2012) 4988 B.C. 7,000 years ago, in mother fucking Oregon, a volcano erupted. How the fuck would anybody know this? 4988 B.C. was way long before 1492 AD. Then, it proceeded to give elaborate details about the lava and various formations, and then concluded that this was definitely the process that created Crater Lake.
Index: Chapter List
Chapter 24 Soundtrack Listing:
1. Spacemen 3
Playing With Fire
2. The Sex Pistols
"Anarchy in the U.K." 3:32
Never Mind the Bollocks Here's the Sex Pistols
"Political Song For Michael Jackson To Sing" 1:31
Double Nickels On The Dime
4. Cap'n Jazz
"Basil's Kite" 2:36
5. Гражданская Оборона
Инструкция по выживанию (Instructions For Survival)
6. Dead Kennedys
"California Über Alles" 3:28
Fresh Fruit for Rotting Vegetables
7. Wu-Tang Clan
8. John Lennon
9. Gene Wilder
"Pure Imagination" 4:22
Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory
"The Way After" 6:00
The First One Hundred Years
11. Flotation Toy Warning
"Even Fantastica" 7:29
Bluffer's Guide to the Flight Deck
All Sections Written, Designed, and Music Compiled by Tony J. Neal
Anarcho Communist image from: A Revolt.