CHRISTMAS VACATION: CONFESSIONS OF A CONFUSED DOUCHE
SECTION THREE: NEW CASTLE, IN
Chapter XVII: No Faggots in New Castle
On a hot summer evening in August, just as the sun was directly halfway in-between the constellations Leo and Virgo, the ultimate displacement of The Universe tragically occurred. By means of an unfortunate teenage mistake, I was born into a community in which I never belonged. I represented that fine print declaration indicating 1% of birth control use is ineffective and a complete failure. It was not as if I selected these options on my own terms. Nonetheless, I was expected to conform to the standards that had been established in one of the most prestigious kingdoms in the galaxy… shitty ass mother fucking New Castle, Indy mother fucking Anna.
I have to return to this wretched community periodically in order to visit more of my family. The next stop was my father’s house, who does not even live directly in New Castle anymore… it’s even worse now. Several years ago, after Tim and I both left, he and my step-mom bought a house far removed from civilization. This place has no neighbors; just a huge, flat, snow covered field for scenery—its one of those places that potentially has creepy kids running around with hatchets. There are cows in the backyard from the people living behind him—my dad has no cows though. Personally, I have no idea how anybody could live out here and in the winter time. There is nothing to do at all, which makes not having a car a life threatening dilemma.
They also have an adopted son, Zach, who is 12. He and I have never really bonded and I get the impression that he just downright cannot stand me. We have no common ground whatsoever. To be honest, I’m not even completely comfortable being around him. Once again, I hoped this would be the time when all of that all changed and serious progress was made. The days in which I was simply going to merely accept personal turmoil was quickly coming to an end… a decision to freely express myself in this setting could have calamitous results. There were a lot of ailments regarding this matter that I had never expressed; his section in the book thus far would not be nearly as positive as I would like it to be.
One of my many regrets is the slightly diminished relationship I have with my father. There is no friction between us whatsoever. I consider him a good man, an excellent father, and I’ve always enjoyed his company. There have been numerous occasions in which he has offered the best advice I could possibly hear, and still value much of his wisdom to this day. However, since leaving New Castle, we simply do not see each other very often. Furthermore, because neither of us are talking on the phone type people (me especially), we do not even talk on the phone regularly. It had been a full year since I last saw him and visits with my dad have dwindled down to a couple short visits a year—for nearly 20 years now.
It should also be known that I hate New Castle and, in some regards, hold a grudge against this town. I was exiled from this community during adolescence when I was permanently kicked out of high school and forced to relocate to Cincinnati. Sure, I was to blame for much of this, but the bottom line was that I was never small hick-town New Castle material and most of the population believed I had deep seated psychological issues—that, or I was some sort of a diabolical genius. I was never looked upon equally in this town and expectations were significantly different. For that matter, expectations were unknown.
Why was I kicked out? No real reason in particular, but there were too many incidents like the scene in Donnie Darko or the one involving the time line exercise. (By the way, I’m not happy with what this movie has become, but I can say I was already grown when it was released and never modeled myself after any of the characters; instead, I related to the Donnie Darko character for it reminded me of myself at this age.)
That person who I was in New Castle, that representation of a troubled youth, no longer exists. It’s been several years since I lived in New Castle and I no longer even remotely resemble the person I was back then. Furthermore, I am obviously nothing like most of the people who still reside there. Sometimes it is even unsettling when this part of my life creeps into my current life.
I am friends with a woman on the online social network who I used to know in New Castle, but haven’t seen her since (I have a few of these friends on Facebook). She had posted something pertaining to gay marriage suggesting that discriminating against people based on religious beliefs is still a form of racism. (She, by the way, now resides in Jacksonville, FL and apparently has a gay brother). I didn't even really pay much attention to who had written this post, but simply responded with something humorous—the same way I do with all my current friends who have progressed past the 12th Century.
“They say: “homosexuality is wrong!” Last year at this time, they were discussing the rapture and how the world is going to end any day now. How’s that working out?”
The comment was well received by people I didn't even know but there was also a lot of backlash—again from people I didn't even know. I even received a few personal insults as the debate grew heated.
Generally, I try to refrain from doing these things (engaging in political discussions on Facebook), but it was her topic and I felt I had the right to defend myself. Therefore, I stated (this was around the time of the whole Chick-Fil-A debacle) that people would refuse to enter my establishment if I made public comments denouncing marriage rights to those who had been misinterpreting outdated Biblical passages for thousands of years.
Once again, those with at least moderate intellect liked the statement, and those who had cherished the words of unreliable narrators acted as if they were insulted by my means to put their pathetic little pea-brained invalid beliefs based on hearsay right in their proper place. One person even went so far as to call my post a hate filled nonsensical rant. However, this was merely my way of turning the tables for people to see it from another perspective. If implying a denial of marriage rights to an extreme religious group based on their beliefs is hate filled non-sense, then denying marriage rights to the Gay and Lesbian Community based on their beliefs is also hate-filled non-sense… which is why many of us will not be dining at Chick-Fil-A anytime soon—it was a shitty fucking 3rd rate mall chain anyway.
I wished to unleash havoc on these imbeciles, make them feel stupid, and demonstrate for them the essential features of a post that genuinely is insulting. But, I did not know these people, and figured I had no business humiliating them in front of their friends (I likened their moral philosophies to that of Neanderthals, and that was good enough.) I did, however, look everybody up who was participating in the debate turned argument. All of those who supported gay marriage lived in cities; those who were firmly against it and making asinine comments still resided in New Castle.
Upon further review, I thought to myself, “Good, I am glad that I was expelled from New Castle schools.” There was no innovation or brilliance being taught in New Castle. In fact, growing up, I was taught that homosexuality was wrong… just as I was taught Communism meant totalitarian dictatorships, life’s ultimate destination lies in an office, and that such a thing as “proper fundamental thinking” actually exists. These childhood inventions of the authoritative ruling class… the 2nd rate teachers, the power abusive principals, the old uncreative guidance counselors, the Fascist police, the churches on every corner… all of them actually expected me to conform and obey while they tried to teach me their uninspired standards that govern the least cosmopolitan community imaginable.
These stupid mother fuckers honestly think Chick-Fil-A is a superior quality restaurant—enough said.
I am now far removed from the heritage in which I was born. If any of these people who follow these standards attempted an alliance now, they would be immediately dismissed. These are the people that my friends and I ridicule on a daily basis; we hate these people. Now that I am matured, educated, and aware their lessons were but antagonistic propaganda, should any of the previous members of the incompetent oppressing class attempt to dictate these servile standards upon me these days, I would probably make them look them extreme foolish, publicly, and attempt to turn the entire establishment against them. No apologies whatsoever for the harshness; there were several key figures in the New Castle education system who preached all of the standards that I have grown to emphatically oppose.
Needless to say, returning to New Castle to live for a prolonged period has never been an option. It doesn’t necessarily mean that I have no desires whatsoever to visit this place. This was the place of my childhood and there are some memories that still remain in my head. I think most people at least somewhat enjoy visiting the places of their childhood. New Castle, however, no longer resembles anything of how it looked when I was growing up; The Bourgeoisie has run its course numerous times and completely altered the town. As a result, visitations now have less appeal.
Or, take the Tony J. Neal assessment to determine if you have any brain activity whatsoever, if your hatred for homosexuals is justified, or if you should simply pack up all of your shit and move to New Castle, Indiana:
1. Identify Mt. Sinai…
Please note the rest of the world and possibly envision where it lies in conjunction with The Universe.
Moses: believed to have lived from 1391-1271 BCE. Much of the world had yet been colonized by the descendants of the first regime. Ever wonder who was sucking whose cock back in these days?
Jesus: believed to have lived from 0-33. This is well over 1200 years after Moses.
King James: King known for witch hunts and homoerotic tendencies published The Bible from 1604-1611; another 1600 years after Jesus, nearly 3000 years after Moses.
The United States Now:
How about a map of The United States from 1600, when The Bible was first published? Notice the amount of changes that have accrued in a mere 400 years. There are no maps of The United States from the period of Jesus because those affected with religion did not even know that it even existed. 1300 years prior to that, we are expected to believe that God came down to a mountain and told some random person who was unaware of the existence of 80% of his own world, a person who still assumed all things orbited the Earth, that God came down and told this one person that homosexuality is wrong?
Ever notice how Middle Eastern people look? They have their own distinct skin color and this is definitive throughout the entire region. Yet, somehow, mysteriously, a small group of white people miraculously emerged in the correct answer to question #1. More than likely, the original Jews, from the land of Palestine, resembled this group of people…
Moses probably looked like this…
Jesus more so resembled this person than the common glamorized version…
God is good; Jesus is great; as is Mohammed; as is Doug; the teachings of the scriptures can be inspirational; there is no reason to turn words of love into products of hate. If there is no reason, then why did it happen?
Chapter 17 Soundtrack Listing:
"Dish It Out" 3:17
No New York
2. Captain Beefheart
"Bat Chain Puller" 5:27
3. Pere Ubu
"The Modern Dance" 3:30
The Modern Dance
"Banned from the Roxy" 2:15
The Feeding of the 5000
5. Half Japanese
"Dumb Animals" 3:51
6. Neil Diamond
"Forever in Blue Jeans" 3:41
You Don't Bring Me Flowers
7. The Magnetic Fields
"Papa Was a Rodeo" 5:02
69 Love Songs
8. John Lennon
"Gimme Some Truth" 3:17
9. Judas Priest
"Victim of Changes" 7:54
Sad Wings of Destiny
10. Public Image LTD
Public Image LTD
All Sections Written, Designed, and Music Compiled by Tony J. Neal
Donnie Darko reference written by Richard Kelly
Biblical images from wikipedia, google, and history maps.