NC-17 SOUNDTRAXXX is being edited, revised, and published. The literature content is gradually being removed for publication or being transferred to the upcoming site: MHQ HEADQUARTERS. The music countdowns, however, shall remain here.
In the meantime, and why I haven't posted anything in a long time... I am proud to present, the first actual book publication, a dystopian epic: The Mansion Feel free to check it out; it is self-published and fully independent.
According to the plant and animal life on Earth, which eventually unfriends the human race amidst bold accusations coming from an oddly-shaped row of trees: the concepts of government, religion, and economics were fabricated by the same sources that devised such absurdity as Black Friday sales, fashionable bowling attire, expiration dates for vaginal lube, and marketing strategies to entice specifically targeted mayonnaise consumers … and these sources obviously did not originate on the Planet Earth. From Prohibition to the dystopian future plagued with revolution, animosity towards society, and farming hippos with growth hormones, characters such as Squirrel Abraham and Jimmers Waffles (raccoon) not only challenge the status quo, but also question the entire history that created it.
Compiling 30 Sections and 68 different themes and storylines, which explore topics ranging from concepts of customer service to victimless crimes to a town in West Virginia that repeatedly becomes a ghost town; and featuring guest appearances from the likes of seahorses, dragonflies, praying mantis, chickens, and raccoon, The Mansion chronicles the plight of the human race, where Primitive Man evolved into the species known as Homo Bowler, and set out to destroy the world in a quest for decorative plates, generic shoes, and non-dairy powdered creamer.
BEAR 21... The Story of a Man and Her Umbrella
A premonition that I was going to die in 3 weeks by means of being eaten by a bear while walking home from work, BEAR 21 is a 21 day memoir reciting the events leading up to my brutal, tragic death. Aside from random encounters with a ravenous bear that had been on a rampage, subplots include life working in retail and an analysis of not obtaining jobs based on gender. A fake autobiography... based on true events, but less than 26% factual. Features a soundtrack of over 200 songs.
Top 100 Songs From 1965 & Before + "The Origination of Modern Society"
100 Song List. Chronological narrative theorizing the origination of the universe with absolute facts based on testimonials from all of those who were present to witness it. Also, a study of the various roles religion and government played in the creation of evolution, and how the creation of religion led to the de-evolution of government; absurd comedy + biting social commentary set to a wide range of music recorded from 1897-1965.
BEST OF 1966 + "Important Studies in Mating"
100 Song List. Music from albums widely considered the all-time greatest sets the soundtrack to the story about the very first person to ever video rabbits mating in the wild. Features musical scenes with a variety of animals singing the songs and a daring plot to overthrow the zoo; commonly considered cute and adored by fans of cartoons and animations of animals behaving like people.
The Top 100 Songs of 1967 + "Lifelong Truce"
100 Song List the creates the perfect soundtrack for a psychedelic war story. Explores numerous aspects of war and the draft, which was happening in 1967. Centered around one draftee's struggles with sanity afflicted with being in a war in which he did not even support + two opposing of troops who declared a lifetime truce after a zero casualty stalemate. Essential tracks that changed the course of music forever, including Pink Floyd, The Velvet Underground, The Beatles, Jimi Hendrix, The Doors, Captain Beefheart- many others.
1968 + Four Events in American History
Legends of rock n roll set the stage for legends in history. Part I: An entertaining horror story about the Roanoke Colony mystery; Part II: The New York Slave Revolt of 1712; Part III: The Boston Massacre; and Part IV: The Trail of Tears. Parts I & 3 are entertaining- but don’t read for accurate historical content; Parts 2 & 4 are biting narratives/social commentaries and may cause anger and resentment- don’t read for happiness and pleasure.
1969 + The 3 M’s of Happiness
The soundtrack to summer of love: Sex, drugs, and rock and roll! The 3 M’s = Music, Marijuana, and Masturbation. Proud owners of The Adult Superstore, The Hash Lounge, and The Concert Venue attempt to save the human race. MC5, King Crimson, The Stooges and 97 others provide the soundtrack. Contains brief nudity.
1970 + 3 Days in Sheboygan
A lucky couple wins a dream vacation to lovely Sheboygan, Wisconsin. However, the town is cursed from a series of homicides that took place over two centuries ago and their ultimate getaway turns to horrific madness. The top 125 songs from 1970 provide the soundtrack for a comedy/horror with a slight glimpse of a supernatural romantic love story.
1971 + Unreliable Narrators
History had been re-written by a series of unreliable narrators, including all forms of government, Christopher Columbus, and God. Therefore, how much of history is genuinely accurate, and how much has society been severely altered by the doctrines outlined by unreliable narrators? The Top 130 Songs provides the soundtrack to one person’s struggles with insanity after accidentally killing a person in self-defense intertwined with the destruction of Paradise in a quest for superficial valuables.
BEST SONGS OF 1972 + Elements of Insanity and The Only Cure
125 Song List. The #1 song of this year wasn't actually released properly until 1976, and that alone has caused so much controversy it merited an NC-17. Five Chapters: No Country For Aardvarks, Miserable Elderly, The Devil's Church, Nude Grocery Shoppers, and Mannequin Sleep Disorders.
Best of 1973 + 6 Grindhouse Films
A dusk til dawn B-movie extravaganza counting down the best songs of 1973. Six sections/six films: Leading off with the pornographic 30 Days in a Ho’, followed by the raunchy slasher flick Hate Boat, an experimental psychological mind trip Together Forever, a science fiction porno western Space Hookers & The Texarkana Cowboys, the drug induced midget exploitation meets Superfly titled Symporium, and ending with Sugar Daddy of Death about a Vietnam Veteran turned serial killer. Contains pornography. Must be 18. Enjoy!
The Best Songs of 1974 + Paradigm Shift
Intro: (before the credits even roll) A man escapes prison and flees to a deserted island where he discovers a genie and is granted one wish. Being a fugitive, he has no desire to leave the island, money is no good, and he blamed a woman. His wish: For animals to be able to speak and understand humans. The rest takes place in regular society when at 4:27 PM EST on August, 22nd, animals suddenly are able to talk and communicate with humans, and nobody has any clue how this happened. Punk rock raccoons, a centipede who can perform multi-instruments simultaneously, and a multitude of criminal animal mischief set to the best songs of 1974.
THE BEST OF 1975:
125 Song List + "Dumped, Again" Based on this set of songs, it seemed as if people getting dumped was popular in 1975. After a few introductory pieces of various irrational topics, most of the story takes place at a concert venue featuring numerous performers from 1975 each performing one song (the song I selected; it'd be nice if this concert really happened!). It's a character study on the various people in the audience, many who have just, like the performers, been dumped recently. Bizarre things happen at this show. I wanted to write a story free of cuss words and all those other crude adjectives, and this is it. Rated G.
The top 150 Songs of 1976 + The Wicked Wizard of Oz
An NC-17 Rated musical that is both the sequel to Wicked and The Wizard of Oz, all set to the best songs of 1976. This award winning performance would make a nice 6 series DVD set with a blend of comedy, social commentary, and scenery that is both surreal and serene. Also featuring The Scarecrow performing Play That Funky Music, The Tin Man singing Queen’s Somebody to Love, The Cowardly Lion doing a Tom Waits rendition, fabulous dance moves, bloody punk rockers, a band of rabbits, and much much more.
At Last! The Best Songs of 1977
The top 150 songs of the best year in music provide the soundtrack to greatest come-from-behind victory in The History of The Universe. Intended to be read last…always. This is the grand finale to all things written on this website.
Best of 1978 + Collision Course Distress Signal
The excellent wide range of music from 1978 sets the stage for a surreal multiple/intersecting storyline involving a bus driver, a grave digger, a sunken ship, an unmanned bicycle, mascot headed terrestrials, a mysterious obituary, and the prediction of the savior. After three days together, he discovered that she had been dead for 26 years; but she wasn’t dead-she wrote her own obituary…she was only 24 years old, so she couldn’t possibly be dead. Centered around the imminent collision between the Planet Earth and Planet Placidity, there is a race within the universe to protect the Earth’s core which is supposedly scheduled to hatch and give birth to The Savior.
Identity Theft + The Top 150 Songs of 1979
A love story plus social commentary that questions: Should work dictate happiness, should happiness be defined by currency, is getting rich the only means to be happy? Is it better to be like everybody else in order to generate more currency for the bank owners in the tops of the skyscrapers? Or, is it better to be individual and make history? The quest for love is natural; the quest for greed is not. 1979 was the best year for music.
1980: The Year of Radical Change
This was the list that started this entire website. However, due to relationship issues and a major break-up, the project was never finalized…until now. Technically entry #1. 1980 was the year that brought forth the most drastic change in music and cultural history. There is no obscure storyline with this list of songs, and serves as a basic straightforward description of music. An ideal place to learn about music history, specific genres, and popular culture as it pertains to everyday life. 200 songs, and arguably the best set of 25 songs in history.
Re-written Harmony + The Best Song of 1981:
200 Song List + a collection of 85% fiction + 1 true story. A dead woman named Gertrude keeps multiplying, an alien informs the residents of Earth how to get into contact with God, some bitch named Mrs. Watson who everybody hates, and the sad but now famous true story of being pulled over by the Texas state police while transporting a dead body.
The Top 150 Songs of 1982 + More Dysfunctional Sex Cravings and Mysterious Disappearances:
150 Song List + what critics are calling "A Fine Collection of Short Stories" 150-126: Miscellaneous unattached segments; 125-101: Lesbian porn; 100-76: Punks vs. Douches; 75-51: Offsetting the balance of the universe; 50-26: Cheating wives and The Pampered Chef lady; 25-#1: The disappearance of an entire village.
Best of 1983 + "What Will Be, Will Be":
Includes the cult classic, "Married to the Mayonnaise Man" 150-126: 86 year old Agnes goes to prison for using marijuana to cure her arthritis; 125-101: A mysterious sofa, and a futon store who tries never to sell anything; 100-76: Some pervert named Templeton who works at the mayonnaise factory; 75-51: The funeral in which no person is invited; 50-26: Figure It Out For Yourself Week; 25-#1: Anticipation of miracle from God, who works in mysterious ways.
100 Planes of Parallel Existence + The Best of 1984:
150 Song List. Conceptual story about living 100 lives simultaneously on 100 parallel universes. Counting down the best songs of 1984, 150-126 gives an introduction on how this concept actually works; 125-101 displays where these factors take place and the ultimate dilemma. The remainder 100 songs, 100-#1: depicts each of the 100 lives of the one person who caused the ultimate dilemma- some guy named Bosco.
1985 + "Done: With Errors on the Page"
150 Song List was the very first entry on this site! Consists of 150 different scenarios, randomized with very little structure. A new format was adopted that revolutionized the standard music list. Rather than write brief music descriptions similar to numerous other sites, I wrote fictitious passages based on the music. This is where it all began. The incomplete process that proceeded anyway.
"Customers: A Documentary" + THE BEST SONGS OF 1986:
200 song musical documentary about the world of customers, with an alternate title: "My Life as a Customer/My Life with a Customer." Over the span of 200 songs, explores every possible aspect (well, not every- but an enormous amount) of dealing with customers, dealing with employees as a customer, and ploys used to handle customers. A must read for any person who works in the service industry dealing with the general public; a must read for the general public.
SONGS OF 1987 + "Dr. Pritchard's Gynecology Clinic"
175 Song List! Gripping tale about the drama that occurs at a gynecology clinic; and the aftermath after Dr. Pritchard is stricken by a curse cast upon by a competitor from a different gynecology office. Not to be taken seriously. Prelude with an incident at theater before the previews even begin. Based loosely on a friend who was an auto mechanic and people always discussed car troubles and wanted him to look at their cars- just wondered if he were a gynecologist- exact same situations, different occupation.
SONGS OF 1988 + "At War with Television, Tiffany, and Satan"
A neighborhood endures a series of absurd events as a battle rages against the television sets that have taken over; including an ice cream mascot that has come to life, the most notorious killer on television, Killer Klowns from Outer Space, and a cast numerous other off-kilter characters. Also, a study on a girl who attends various concerts wearing the exact same Tiffany T-shirt.
SONGS OF 1989 + "Temptation Vs. Fate"
Romance story about the love affair of Travis & Jane, raises questions about other aspects that define compatibility outside attraction and common interests. Music styles from all across the globe, shoegaze to thrash metal to jangle pop to Russian punk rock.
BEST SONGS OF 1990 + "It's Not a Wonderful Life"
Begin a new decade of songs with a parody of the Christmas Classic. After an angel shows a troubled individual what the world would be like if he never existed and finds out the world would actually be a better place, the angel deletes him permanently and then gets addicted to deleting people. 2nd half delves into one crazy party, a series of shootouts, and artistic surrealism. Contains the growing popular "brawl at The Cheese Bar" scene.
SONGS OF 1991 + "General Help Wanted":
Social misfit takes a job at a furniture store in the midst of gang warfare in which furniture store owners are battling for turf; includes ghosts from a sunken hi-jacked ship carrying furniture, aliens investigating a sofa on the moon, sales associates on dope, dead giraffe mascots, one vicious store boss, numerous shootouts at furniture galleries, and the ultimate girlfriend never to be fucked with.
The Top 100 Songs of 1992 + "McQuestion Marks???"
Part I: The Most Famous Restaurant in the World
Part II: Worst Case Scenario
Part III: Merle's First Day on the Roadkill Cleanup Committee
Part IV: Vultures and Empty Saviors (crackheads & prostitutes; name taken from the featured song by The Black Crowes)
The Top 100 Songs of 1993 + "Lab Class Reunion"
A class reunion in which all 20 of the invited students attend- including the ones who are dead, disappeared, homeless, in prison, at war, the tearchers & an alligator- set to the music of 1993. Four chapters total, but several subsections including The Invitations, 4284 Milaine Drive, The Journey, Rock Bottom, BBW Lust, The Escape, Mrs. Connie Hatcher, and A Surreal Climax.
The Matador + The Top 100 Songs of 1994
A deep complex look into the world of bullfighting, featuring matadors Luis, Marco, a bull named Lasher, a crowd of tourists, and more from The Grand Scheme of Things Board Committee. Featuring a soundtrack of 100 songs, with popular faves such as Soundgarden, Oasis, Beastie Boys, Beck, Nine Inch Nails...indie favorites Pavement, Sonic Youth, Drive Like Jehu, Jesus & Mary Chain, Kyuss, Portishead...as well as obscurities like Die Goldenen Zitronen, Space Streakings, Flowerpornoes...and, of course, Jeff Buckley.
The Top 100 Songs of 1995 + Puppy Love in Raincoat City
A wide range of music provides this soundtrack that depicts a person's interest in a woman who he is too shy to ever speak to her. Just a couple blissful pop tunes in the midst of dark/noisy/hazy/psychedelic/shoegaze/experimental. Also features the hit songs 1979 & Fake Plastic Trees.
The Top 100 Songs of 1996 + Blacklisted as a Communist
My favorite 100 songs of 1996 provides the soundtrack to three days in my life in 2012. Autobiography...Always dreamed this would be called "Unbrainwashable...How I Adopted the Status of Sex Symbol in Two Separate Centuries Despite the Inability to Wink & Snap My Fingers"
The Extreme Midget Wrestler + The Top 100 Songs of 1997
A portrayal of fictitious Midget Wrestler, Flyin’ Brian Valentine, that delves into the lives of Midget Wrestlers both inside and outside the ring. A story of love and hardship also features high flying acrobats, a cage match, and a wildly entertaining main event. Both funny and contemplative, The Extreme Midget Wrestler will entice viewers who also praised The Wrestler, Fight Club, Pulp Fiction, and Crash; the top 100 songs of 1997 providing the soundtrack.
1998 + Family Affair
It has been determined that many women tend to fall in love with men who remind them of their fathers. And, some women actually fall in love with their fathers. The top 125 songs of 1998 provide the soundtrack to a story that centers on a young man who became a father at the age of 17 and is forced to take a job at a marshmallow packaging plant to provide for his young family. Family Affair chronicles the events from teenage pregnancy, to marriage, raising kids, divorce, and ultimately, a controversial second marriage. Contains the hit song This Is Hardcore by Pulp.
1999 + Death on Mars
An Earthling documents in his will that he wants his body disposed of on Mars. Not long after his untimely mysterious death, his wish is granted. Aerospace Headquarters dumped the cadaver in a desolate area of Mars equipped with video monitoring to examine the atmospheric decomposing process on another planet. Approximately one year later, the body got up and walked away. Death on Mars contains narratives from multiple perspectives, (primarily from the antagonist who returned to life), surreal dream states, complex entanglements, and 125 songs from the year 1999.
SONGS OF 2000 + The Final Act in History:
100 Song List for the year the world supposedly ended... again. Topics include a domestic dispute over a toaster; the inventions of dehumidifiers, haemorrhoid medicine, mail order brides, & vaginal lube; a computer glitch regarding record sales, and ultimately, the end of the world. The Sigur Ros segment would make for a powerful spectacle on the big screen should that ever happen, so hopefully you have the ability to envision that.
SONGS OF 2001 + "The Corner of 5th & Average":
The year an event or two may or may not have happened. Set primarily on a busy corner infested with shops and unethical business practices, studies the pattern and meaning of life as outlined by a mysterious doctrine. Also, a spiritual awakening that defies the doctrine; a look into some of the lives of people on September 9, 2001; some people who died September 10, 2001; one song devoted to September 11; and the aftermath that raises serious questions about the pattern of life contained in the doctrine.
THE BEST SONGS OF 2002 + "Making the Best of Bad Situations":
Entry #2. Features the longest song to secure the #1 slot in a countdown... over 30 minutes long though- depicting the horror of The Beast. Written in the midst of a breakup after a move, primarily inspirational tales about making the best of a bad situation. WARNING: While I pride myself on playlists being completely void of mainstream crap, contains a song by both Coldplay and by Christina Aguilera.
The 200 Songs of 2003 + The Decoy Project
Eleven people cohere to pull off one of the top few best heists in history that also includes an autistic man, the bank manager, the driver, a poodle, and the baddest chick in existence. When the perfect plan slightly malfunctions, simply apply the same scheme with the same strategy. Broken Social Scene, The Strokes, The White Stripes and 197 others provide the soundtrack for this surreal action comedy that is a social commentary, a bank robbery, and a prison break… with a major twist of course.
Shingles + The Best Traxxx of 2004
Creepy must-read masterpiece for fans of The Twilight Zone! The Top 200 songs of 2004 provide the soundtrack about a mysterious growth that seemingly can cure all ailments known to man. But, conflict overwhelms as humankind struggles with the ability to control them. Prize Winner with great music.
2005 + The Mind over Matter Experiment
The top 200 songs of 2005. Chronicles the development of a Christian mom who develops a masturbating addiction leading to series of events that ultimately lead to a catastrophic family disaster. Tonya falls in love with younger schizophrenic boy from her work and that alters her entire belief system; as her love for Tristen strenghtens, the hatred for her family intensifies. Contains extremely disturbing content.
The Best Songs of 2006 + No Love For Anybody
A failed love relationship between a sign language interpreter and a Gomer Gopher mascot from a children’s pizza restaurant leads to turmoil and chaos. The top 200 songs of 2006 provide the soundtrack for an unsettling tale that is ugly, wretched, horrendous, and somehow hilarious. Warning: extremely disturbing content may be unsuitable to sensitive viewers.
Best of 2007 + The Bad Sugar
150 song soundtrack set in the world when the sun has disappeared forever. The final two pure souls that could have blended the sour ingredients of the human race face the corruption of the contaminants of the polluted society that had ultimately failed. Thus, the majority of people either follows norms, or does things intentionally in spite of those same conventions; there are multiple forms of contamination.
Best of 2008 + Pitchfork Brigade
Brandon Kindle made one controversial film and was on the route to stardom. Just as he was on the verge of massive success, he was brought up on severe charges that created media hysteria surrounding the case. The Top 150 songs of 2008 provide the soundtrack that portrays the media’s role in convicting an accused suspect due to disagreement with the film’s content.
Plan DD + The Top 150 Songs of 2009
Plan A seemed like a good idea, but in this economy, a career change can lead to disaster. Plan A failed, so did Plans B through Plans Z; Plan AA-CC did not serve well either. Plan DD deals with the struggles seeking employment in this economy that lead to desperate measures. Outrageously funny, with bsurd yet truthful social commentary, Plan DD lives up to the NC-17 rating…with the best music of 2009 as the soundtrack.
BEST SONGS OF 2010 + "Counting Down Various Mysterious Useless Activities"
The first series written while the songs were still relatively new. Songs compiled in December 2010, and then came this...the descriptors became stories, and the title says it all (many of these years could be titled the exact same thing actually). Eight pages, 8 different stories, including Homeless Hamlet, the moon exploding, a sex addict who never gets laid, one evening at a nightclub, an occupied nation, and books falling from the sky.
The Top 200 Songs of 2011 + "The Best Christmas Ev-errr!!!
The award winning holiday sensation! Opening with tribal African natives filming a documentary for National Geographic about "White People Just Be Wastin' Money at Christmas" then exploring wonderful gift ideas such as Mail Order Brides all the way to family functions, retail employees going on strike, to finally officially giving up your own voice of reason for The Ultimate New Year's Resolution. Features the popular favorite "Give the Gift of Real Life Sex Dolls."
The Top 150 Songs of 2012 + 2012: The Smurf's Apocalypse
Oh dear Lord, the God damn mother fucking world is supposed to be coming to an end again. Enough of this shit! Although the so-called end of the world had become a cliché, The Apocalypse is the theme for the 2012 feature, in which the Top 150 songs serve as the official soundtrack. This is no ordinary Apocalypse however, this is an NC-17 rated episode of The Smurfs. Beginning with the precursor that explains The Death of Papa Smurf's Generation, to the dignity salvaging creation of 100 Smurfettes appropriately named with adjectives like their chauvinistic male counterparts, a couple misadventures, then ultimately, the doomed fate of Smurf Village. Must be enjoyed with a warped sense of humor.
THE TOP 25 WORST SONGS IN HISTORY
Working at a Department Store Chain has some perks, but the music is as bad as possible. It is so bad, that Journey and Bon Jovi did not even make the list, let alone top the charts. Features an array of brainless Top 40 Pop Bullshit that should be banned from the planet Earth in order to restore any hope for cultural advancement. This is an all-out assault against fluff material that most of society has been too sensitive to brutally attack. We can no longer comfortably ignore this movement and dismiss it as merely harmless, for its effects are finally destroying society.
Coming next Friday!!! Girlfriend Shopping
Shopping for a new girlfriend has many similarities to shopping for a new car, as my quest for a new girlfriend has led to disaster and turmoil. Comedy; fiction. Will feature an array of music from all years for the soundtrack.
A music montage is a scene that has movement and possibly dialogue, but the only thing that is heard is the music. In many cases, when reading the stories featured on this site, it is recommended to visualize the movements as they are written while listening to the songs rather than attempt to decipher the words as an actual novel. The best example of a music montage is in the movie Donnie Darko. All of the stories listed below contain segments of music montages similar to this one, and is an essential element of the scenes that I write.
Thanks to The 2012 World Almanac for the definition of NC-17:
The ratings board considers NC-17 films those that most parents would consider too adult for children under 17. An NC-17 rating does not mean the film is obscene or pornographic. The rating can be based on violence, sex, aberrational behavior, drug abuse, or any other element that most parents would consider too adult for children.
2006 image by: http://www.kristv.com/images/thumbnails/A86138A8BC794BDB62217E8129EBFFAD_588_588.jpg
1970 Image by: http://www.flickr.com/photos/debbiesphotoshop/5495966528/sizes/z/in/photostream/