Part 1: Equation For The Meaning of Life
Part 2: A Request For Radical Change
Part 3: Learning to Fly
Part 4: Cute Little Green Mother Fuckers and The Born Bad Bitches
Part 5: Emergence of The Black Serpent
Part 6: At Last! The Greatest Come-From-Behind Victory in The History of The Universe
Part I: Equation For The Meaning of Life
Press play on the image below to hear this selection of songs in this exact order.
150. Steve Miller Band
"Threshold" 1:06 + "Jet Airliner" 4:26
Book of Dreams
San Francisco, CA
At last, it really did come down to this. The world I no longer recognized, (seriously this time,) had taken significant altercations… the colors disrupted, buildings changed, and even the people looked different… they didn’t even look human anymore. But, this was the new world now, and I had to go with it. Upon further review, I was excited for the new changes because the old had failed. Brilliant innovation does not trickle down from past repeated failures. Somebody, somewhere, seemed to have pressed a magical button, and the results were nothing short of remarkable. It was a long struggle to reach this point, but you gotta go through Hell sometimes.
149. Randy Newman
"Short People" 2:58
Los Angeles, CA
I never wanted anybody else to enjoy an ample lifestyle—only me because I am the only person on Earth who ever worked for it. Furthermore, I am the only person in this country who pays taxes, and therefore if any other person expects something useful to come from tax money, then that means they are welfare degenerates expecting me to give them a handout. These fucking people are useless, these God damned little people… and they’re lazy—that’s why we don’t pay them anything. Cashiers, teachers, nurses, factory workers, alcoholics, potheads, faggots, Mexicans, store clerks, servers, bartenders, taxi drivers… all of them are useless bums. However, I depend on them for my own personal happiness… and then, I dick over the people I depend upon for my own personal happiness.
148. Throbbing Gristle
"Maggot Death" 2:50
The Second Annual Report
This is when shit took a drastic turn into unknown territories that none of us ever foresaw coming. We had based our beliefs in concurrence with our rural small town community, and most of this shit we were against we had never even been exposed to. And then, just one day we awoke in a strange land… the city… and it was frightening. These people had gathered around all of us… we were surrounded. They had these crazy faces, like demonic clowns or something… and more of them kept coming and coming and coming and coming… there were literally zillions of them. And that’s when I woke up.
147. Love and Kisses
"I've Found Love" 3:53
Love & Kisses
Rule #4 was adopted by The Grand Scheme of Things Board Committee… Never Dick Over the People You Depend Upon For Personal Happiness. It was as if one day I suddenly realized this. I was standing in line at the store, somewhat in a hurry, and it was taking forever. Immediately, I blamed the cashier… some stupid girl, probably from the ghetto, probably some slut trying to pay for 4 kids and taking up all my tax money that I do not wish to see go to welfare recipients… welfare trailer park sluts—like her, and all the rest of the cashiers. Then, it occurred to me that the line was moving me so slow because all of the other patrons in front of me were slow, stupid, asking questions, and presenting her with trivial complaints. That’s when I realized that I had spent my whole life exactly like these people… and the cashier was mysteriously sexy all of sudden. Too bad I’m 63 years old and she’s 17.
146. Edip Akbayram & Dostlar
"Birak Beni" 3:59
Nedir Ne Değildir?
I’m not 17, I’m 24. But my boyfriend, he’s only 15. For whatever reason, girls enjoy having sex with younger kids. A vast majority of women frequently have sexual relations with underage boys. It is extremely common to see a 50 year old woman having sex with a 14 year old guy… most women over the age of 40 will pursue sex with most guys in the age range of 13-17. All a 15 year old guy has to do to have sex with a woman over the age of 21 is simply ask for it; or in many cases, simply sit somewhere in the general vicinity of the older woman. They can even say something totally gross and perverted like, “hey baby, you have nice titties,” and we’ll whip them out and let them suck on them… it makes us feel special.
Out of the Mist
To begin, women like having sex with teenage kids because it gives them that sense of control. Unlike having to take shit from a domineering older male who will come over and dictate orders, women do not have to worry about these teenagers attempting to command their lives. Also, girls relish in the notion of feeling extremely special and extremely sexy. When guys grow older and have seen more of the world, the majority of women lose that appeal; only douches that sit around in cubicles and watch TV are enamored with the regular ideal girl. However, to these kids, the older women are something extraordinary because that is the first set of breasts they have ever seen… and merely seeing them causes a change in attitude… they will do absolutely anything just to be on top for a minute or two.
144. The Motors
The Motors 1
This act typically makes both parties feel special. Many older women also enjoy the task of taking care of someone and many have been groomed to think that this is their role in the world. Women will invite younger boys to their homes, cook for them, take care of them, and ultimately, allow the younger lad to have sex with her. And, if that’s not good enough, the older woman will also purchase alcohol for the minor, smoke pot with him, and sometimes even allow all of his friends to come over and have a party… and then run a train on her. However, if anybody finds out about this, there will be great danger… even though all women secretly do this on a fairly regular basis.
143. Rose Royce
"Wishing On A Star" 3:57
Rose Royce II: In Full Bloom
Los Angeles, CA
Whenever I would see Brandon walking down the street, my mind became filled with sexual exhilaration. I would often clean my house, decorating the coffee tables with vases of pretty flowers, the carpet was immaculate—as was my furniture… the entire time I did this, I envisioned Brandon coming over. In fact, that was the whole purpose for making my house beautiful… I envisioned Brandon actually being there with me—creating conversations that we would have, him watching me undress, and then I would lure the youth into my perfectly spotless bedroom and make sweet love to the 15 year old boy for three minutes… and then cook him a nice meal, and then send him merrily on his way to school with a happy smile.
142. Paul Davis
"I Go Crazy" 3:41
Singer of Songs, Teller of Tales
Meridian, MS (1948-2008)
I saw my ex-girlfriend yesterday at the store. Admittedly, she looked fabulous; actually, she looked downright sexy. Her body was in perfect shape and she was dressed in fashion where if I happened to see her thumbnail on a porn site, I would excitedly have to view it. Back when we dated, I attempted to suppress that exquisite display of sexuality; but when we are apart and I saw her, I longed to have sex with her again. Supposedly she has a new man now; I wonder how he feels about all this… probably not as big of a schmuck as I was. Oh well, I will just go home and jack off thinking about her again.
141. Alan O'Day
"Undercover Angel" 3:28
Los Angeles, CA
When I go out for lunch with my nephew and all of his teenage friends, I dress as sexy as possible. I wear extremely tight pants that modify my ass, a low cut shirt that reveals my stellar cleavage, and I allow my shirt to drape over my shoulder—exposing as much of my sexuality as legally possible. Even in the summertime, I wear extremely short cut-off shorts and short skirts, frequently flashing these teenage boys my panties or giving them a nice prolonged glimpse down my shirt. Yes, it’s just me dressed like a sexy porn star surrounded by 14 year old boys. I am constantly catching these boys trying to peek down my shirt or cop cheap feels on my ass and legs. Occasionally, I allow a couple of them to actually have sex with me.
140. The Diodes
"Time Damage" 2:19
Toronto, ON, Canada
My husband looks like a total douche; he is a total douche. All he does is work in his silly office and he is now old and fat. The miserable piece of shit does not take care of himself, eats way too much meat, and has a fat hairy gut to augment his balding head. However, on the evenings that we do go out, I am all over him… rubbing his leg, touching him inappropriately, and even forcing unsuspecting victims to watch us make out in the most grotesque Public Display of Affection imaginable. He thinks that I think that he is extremely handsome; when in actuality, I am merely trying to cover up my deepest darkest secret.
139. The Action
"TV's On The Blink" 1:47
TV's On The Blink
Ottawa, ON, Canada
All he ever wanted to do was sit at home and watch TV. Furthermore, the shit that he wanted to watch was absolutely stupid. They were his shows, and whenever I wanted to watch something, he would complain. In fact, that was a major topic of our differences—the shit we wanted to watch on TV. He always wanted to watch boring news programs that promoted right wing ideology such as FoxNews and I wanted watch something more fun such as reality TV or one of those shows featuring amateur performers. In turn, I rebelled against him. (In turn, a significant portion of society hates both of these two equally.)
138. Barry White
"It's Ecstasy When You Lay Down Next to Me" 6:56
Barry White Sings for Someone You Love
Galveston, TX (1944)-Los Angeles, CA (2003)
So, I was finally able to lure Brandon into my home. I asked him if he could help me carry something up the steps for me and he gladly obliged. All of the necessary steps were taken and I executed them flawlessly. The proper attire was important and I nailed it—a skimpy button down blouse and short denim shorts. He stood there waiting for me to give him direction and I pretended that I needed to gather some things from the floor—bending over to pick them up allowing him to gaze down my shirt or see how nice my ass looked in these shorts. While I was assisting him, I made certain to allow my breasts to snug up against his hands while he held the items I insisted needed taken upstairs. At one point, I acted as if I was struggling to handle an item so that he would have to assist me—more cheap feels and I brushed my tight ass up against his cock. These items needed taken into the bedroom, of course, where we spent the next hour copping feels on one another. Finally, I shoved him on the bed and fucked him.
137. Jackson Browne
"Running On Empty" 5:27
Running On Empty
Heidelberg, Germany/Los Angeles, CA
After the world changed radically, I frantically roamed around trying to determine what it all meant. That, there had to be a reason for all of this and that everything I encountered had to have some sort of purpose. There was some sort of notion instilled with all things in existence, and that all matters were devised by somebody with some sort of intention that seemed like a good idea at some point in during its’ history. I attempted to devise some sort of a formula to figure out the precise meaning of life and determine why all things were the way they were. Somewhere along the lines I drew the conclusion that nothing specifically was originated, fabricated, designed, or delegated to the appropriate mandates; everything had been created by unqualified experts attempting solidify an extemporary existence in order to impress a concept called comfortable living. Could improvements be made? Most definitely.
"Just Remember I Love You" 3:16
When Kara told me that she was pregnant, I was remotely stunned. It was hard to believe how old we had gotten, and part of me was not prepared for children again. In fact, I could not even recall any of our sexual experiences in the past few years. But, I loved her. Furthermore, my belief system does not allow terminating pregnancies—only welfare bums do that—and expect me to pay for it. Therefore, we had the child…our fourth.
"Dust in the Wind" 3:26
Point of Know Return
Determining the causes and effects of all things pertaining to the existence of life is a complicated matter. Sitting on a park bench looking out at all of the pedestrians walking along the sidewalk past all of the shops and buildings made me reflect on every possible detail that created this seemingly ordinary scene that more than likely is occurring in thousands of other locations at this moment precisely. Somebody had built that building; somebody came up with the idea to erect that structure; somebody implemented the notion that this creation was going to bring forth an uncanny brilliance; and all of these people walking—they too have a history, and perhaps even a purpose—at least a self-proclaimed essential purpose as to what they are doing right this very instant. What made that woman want to enter that shop? How long had she been planning this? What is on the mind of the person working there, and how is this different than how that person behaves at home? And soon, they will all be gone, and everything that took place in this one moment of time and space will be forgotten forever.
134. Grateful Dead
"Estimated Prophet" 5:37
San Francisco, CA
The baby did not belong to my husband… it belonged to Brandon. My natural self told me to secretly have an abortion, but there were too many protestors at the clinic. Unfortunately, because of people like my husband, the Plan B contraceptive is not readily available either. Therefore, I lied to him and pretended like he was the cause of the pregnancy. Furthermore, I acted excited, told him how much I loved him, and I made out with him in public. As soon as I looked sexy for him and gave him some sort of pretension that he was an admirable man in the eyes of the public because he had a hot sexy potential porn star for a wife, he never suspected anything… and never will.
133. The Boomtown Rats
"Close As You'll Ever Be" 3:25
The Boomtown Rats
Dun Laoghaire, Ireland
With my wife now pregnant, I needed to take some more responsibility and I needed to make better use of my taxes… which these damn left-wingers were being uncooperative. After the election, I finally asked them the proper questions to put them in place: (copied and pasted from Facebook—misspellings left on intentionally)“Ok lefties. This is your chance. What is on your wish list? I see legalized Marijuana, Gay Marriage, other people paying for health care, more welfare, other people paying for collage(which will be compulsory at some point, I am sure, and thus meaningless), other people paying for your protected sex and/or birth control. What did I miss? I know there is more.” A friend of his added “gun control.”
132. Pekka Pohjola
"Kadet Suoristavat Veden" 4:39
Helsinki, Finland (1952)-Espoo, Finland (2008)
As I was attempting to figure out every possible notion that makes society the way that it is, I stumbled upon a series of questions and complaints directed by a person with obvious conservative leaning political beliefs. Then, I asked myself what aspects of society would make a person believe these things; and what would make any person not believe in these things. I dismissed many of his notions for he lived in a small town and probably lacked exposure to these elements. However, something needed to be said, something needed to be done, or else the formula for the meaning of existence was never going to unravel appropriately… as it had not… ever. These notions occupying this much space in a mind inadvertently causes distractions of possible outcomes that could impact various elements of the future. For example, how much did the bricklayer who constructed that building think about these sorts of things while he was working; and how did it affect his/her output?
131. Eric Clapton
"May You Never" 3:02
The first great compromise would be to cut the W’s in half—the W’s being war and welfare. It would appear that one party is unwilling and downright despises the notion of welfare… therefore, cut the funding for it in half; the other side downright despises the defense budget and against spending his/her tax dollars on missiles and other weapons of mass destruction. This strategy alone frees an immense amount of money that may be generated to other purposes. And, may we all be happy for just a moment.
130. ZZ Top
"She's A Heartbreaker" 3:03
Even when Kara was pregnant, she still looked fabulous. I saw her the other day at the same location, and she was exposing her pregnant belly to a group of guys. These guys all claimed they had some sort of a bizarre fetish for pregnant women and were taking pictures of her. Obviously she was married, but these guys did not care. Apparently, she did not care either. She laughed, implied she wasn’t that type, but gladly exposed herself anyway and allowed them to touch her… she reluctantly gave in to their requests happily… if such a contradiction was permitted to exist. Kara, to my knowledge, was never a hooker, but they stashed a wad of bills into her back pocket (groping her ass along the way) and she left with them… got into the van with four other dudes and disappeared.
129. Stinky Toys
"Pepe Gestapo" 3:39
Marijuana Legalization and Gay Marriage need not be justified to the left. However, they need to be presented to the right in a manner that they will support it. The main aspect being that the conservative right has adopted the premise that they support a “small” government and do not wish the government interfering in anything. In order to stay true to their personal beliefs, that should include no government interference in marriage or personal recreation. Most of us already know that marijuana usage stimulates creativity and is safer than alcohol, but what the right doesn’t know is that legalization creates jobs and a more stable economy (not just increased taxes, but manufacturing, packaging, paraphernalia, and an increase in sales and social activity). Furthermore, legalization will significantly decrease the prison population, and there is no better example of injustice coupled with a dependency on handouts (extreme welfare) than providing food, clothing, and shelter to prisoners (especially when there are no victims to the crime).
128. Deaf School
Don't Stop the World
The “other people paying for healthcare” accusation is maddening and difficult to counter without sounding irate. Apparently, this person thinks he is the only person who pays taxes and is perfectly content with his taxes being put towards items he finds important and everybody should obey this. Furthermore, he must feel that all people should wish to pay for the exact same things he pays for—missiles. I would like MY tax dollars to pay for healthcare because I want them to be used for at least something useful…which to date has not been the case. He can spend his tax dollars on anything he wants. However, I would like to see implemented an actual Communist/Socialist healthcare plan (there isn’t one even remotely close). You can still have private practice and a free market; however, there is no ridiculous concept called insurance. As it stands now, citizens pay money to insurance corporations, a portion of their check each week, and the billionaire insurance corporations dictate everything. Rather than pay for insurance each week, along with the deductibles (which people are paying anyway), why not just group Medicare and Medicaid (which people are paying anyway) and initiate a tax amount (which should be slightly cheaper to all citizens than the average insurance premium) to be delegated to healthcare… instead of billing insurance agencies, the bill is sent to the branch of government and the funds are paid from the revenue created separately from everything else. The end result would see all citizens with healthcare while paying a significantly lower rate than what they were previously paying to the insurance agencies. As for the now unemployed insurance agents who were reaping significant profits to deny claims and complicate matters in order to obtain basic prescriptions such as antibiotics for mild infections… they can now be Federal employees who work in the Medicare office paying the free market doctors the appropriate rates while earning better wages and better benefits.
"Come Sail Away" 6:05
The Grand Illusion
Even the ugliness had to have had some sort of cause of purpose. Whether a person agrees with it or not, the most wretched aspects of society have a purpose. However, it is the origination of this supposed purpose where the formula of the meaning of life takes a drastic downward spiral and spins wildly out of control. Those who created these flagrant intents and purposes have unfortunately been given the power to do so and have forcefully demanded their own people obey these commands. Most of these are in severe violation of the following commandments: Never Achieve Happiness at the Expense of Others; Never Dick Over Those You Depend Upon for Personal Happiness. And despite getting fucked over by the most powerful elements of society, the citizens awake to wretched conditions, stare the ugliness directly in the face, and try to carry on to generate their own personal meaning. This can formulated as ERX∛(_p^g)11qz 44l/19gpy≅K K= happiness as it pertains to the existing elements already equated in society.
"Cygnus X-1" 10:26
A Farewell to Kings
Willowdale, ON, Canada
Abortion should be included in healthcare coverage. Whether a person thinks it is right or wrong is a matter of opinion and each individual is entitled to that opinion. However, a left-winger without children has to donate significantly more of his/her tax dollars to right-wingers with multiple children than any right-winger has to pay for welfare. Furthermore, if actually having the child is permitted to covered with healthcare (along with all of the numerous expenses that come after the child is born) than not having the child should be covered. Not only is it fair, and forcing a woman to have a child against her will is inhumane, but the abortion procedure is significantly cheaper anyway. A person having child #4 does significantly more harm to society and the environment than any person having an abortion. The Plan B contraceptives should be readily available at Walgreen’s, in convenient packages next to Advil and Tylenol, and should cost approximately $1.79. However, Luther felt this was inhumane, against his beliefs, and did not wish to fund derelicts having crazy promiscuous sex without protection… the $200 abortion was too expensive for their own healthcare plan that needed to be utilized for his missile defense system to keep all of the terrorist gay drug dealing Mexicans from entering the country; the $75,000 childbirth process was perfectly fine though. As a result of his belief system, Kara had the baby that was conceived by Brandon but funded by Luther who over a course of a lifetime spent close to a million dollars on this God damn little brat who nobody liked for the little shit kicker was molded to be exactly like his wretched father. While his mom was explicitly fucking all of his friends in his own bedroom, the son, now 16, was receiving driving lessons from dad, crashed into a truck, and both of them were killed. And that’s life.
Top Right by: Karups Older Women
Top Left: Conceived, written, designed, and photographed by Tony J. Neal Bottom Image by: Don't Fall For Bullshit/Tumblr