The Top 75 Songs of 2008

Pitchfork Brigade + The Top 150 Songs of 2008
Part 1: Pre-Planned Destination on the Outskirts of Heredity
Part 2: Gluten Free Nation
Part 3: Handling Success
Part 4: The Pitchfork Brigade
Part 5: Our Corporate Sponsored Panel of Experts
Part 6: No Future

Part IV: The Pitchfork Brigade

Press play on the image below to hear this selection of songs in this exact order.

75. Snowman
"Out Mother (She Remembers)"  2:58
The Horse, the Rat and the Swan
Perth, WA, Australia

Brandon Kindle’s arrest made national headline news. Part of the hysteria was due to the severity of the allegations, but it was primarily because he had recently risen to fame. His film Gluten Free Nation was still being critically acclaimed under cult status while being genuinely loathed at the same time. He was placed in his hometown jail and denied bail (which was unconstitutional). Furthermore, due to his smallish size, he was treated harshly in jail.

74. Dub Trio
"Regression Line"  4:29
Another Sound Is Dying
New York, NY

The media pounced on the opportunity to convict Brandon. Not only did they immediately announce that he was guilty, they utilized the content of his controversial film as evidence against him. All of their wordings and commentaries suggested that he was definitely guilty of all accounts. Furthermore, they went so far as to slam the nature of them and insinuated that he should be tried for treason and receive the death penalty.

73. Indian Jewelry
"Fuckface"  1:24
Free Gold!
Houston, TX

Critics of the film were obviously outraged. Their protests were now strengthened with the notion that the person who wrote and directed this filth that violated their entire belief system was a serial rapist. Only a diabolical psychopath would ever create such an act of loathsome terrorism on their beloved nation and their belief system. This is what America has always stood for, and always will.

72. The Bug
"Jah War"  3:01
London Zoo
London, England

The arrest and allegations surprisingly led to a temporary increase in interest for the film. Most fans of the film denied the fact that he did anything and announced that he was innocent. Furthermore, just like the film indicated, fans of the movie denounced the media and questioned the legitimacy of the allegations. It spawned an all-out war against mainstream society that originally became under fire in the film. Conspiracy theories were developed. However, these supporters were way in the minority, and the film also received significantly more protest as critics directed hostility towards any person who watched the film and claimed to enjoy it.

71. M83
"Graveyard Girl"  4:52
Saturdays = Youth
Antibes, France

Courtney’s father interrogated Courtney about the ordeal. He persistently inquired whether or not Brandon had raped her. When she adamantly told him “no”, Bert suggested that she was in denial; that she could discuss the violation with him and he could help her. Bert never liked Brandon anyway and was positive that he had raped his daughter, even though she vehemently denied it.

70. Have a Nice Life
"The Future"  5:26
Middletown, CT

TV Commentary:  What sickens me most is how people can still claim to be a fan of this movie. These women were raped! This goes beyond movies, Academy Awards, this is bigger than any recreational activity. The real victims here are these innocent women who were brutally assaulted and raped by a diabolical madman with obvious issues against the conduct of our beloved society. These crimes are downright sickening and the perpetrator needs to be put away for life. This person doesn’t even deserve to live. My heart and prayers go out to the victims and the victim’s families.

69. Ceramic Dog
"ShSh ShSh"  5:49
Party Intellectuals
New York, NY

Before long, more accusers came to the forefront. Apparently, Brandon Kindle had raped most of the girls within a 30 mile radius of the community in the span of the brief time he was there. These girls cried and related awful atrocities that had been committed to them. They were innocent victims who had been severely violated for no reason at all by a sexual predator who obviously had a vendetta against all of American society. Perhaps he suspected they were on a gluten free diet, or blamed them for all of his shortcomings.

68. The Weird Weeds
"Lies"  3:01
I Miss This
Austin, TX

There were numerous people from the previous evening who had witnessed Brandon and his friends engaging in deplorable behavior. Those who were involved in the scuffle testified against him and were asked to make statements for the press and TV regarding the antics he and his friends had wrongfully committed the previous evening.

67. Ratatat
"Shempi"  3:57
New York, NY

A spokesperson from the agency who distributed the film issued a statement regarding the issue. It was the exact same statement that had been issued a zillion times. He followed the script perfectly, beginning with his sentiment and regards to the victims and the victim’s families. Also, he suggested that no action would be taken until more was discovered. They did not state guilt or innocence, said to be saddened by this tragedy, and would consider more actions as the story unfolded.

66. Crystal Antlers
"Parting Song For the Torn Sky"  7:03
Long Beach, CA

Media commentators gladly offered suggestions about the sentencing. “You know what,” they declared with the same passion they exhibited during the hiring process, “he should be locked away for life. All of the money this despicable film has generated should be donated to the victims and the victim’s families. Generally I do not support capital punishment, but this might actually be an exception. Kindle is obviously a troubled sociopath with no compassion for the world and no sense of right and wrong. It is fully indicated by his horrible movie that is only enjoyed by other sickos with mental problems.

65. Anti Atlas
"Cool Is the Night"  3:44
Between Voices
London, England

There is a comedic scene in the film depicting an attractive young woman wearing a skimpy T-shirt that reads: “If you want to have sex with me, just ask.” In the movie, this was a folly designed to prevent rape as well as unwanted nagging and pestering. As the scene progressed, the shirt became a fashion statement worn by everybody who was “in heat” so to say. And those who did not wish to be bothered with unneeded sexual requests did not wear the shirt and simply dressed even more risqué than even the horny women in heat.

64. The Dodos
"Joe's Waltz"  7:22
San Francisco, CA

The film obviously contained elements detrimental to the freedoms of this country. So many people have forgotten what it means to be an American. In this country, we have freedom, and that allows people to be whoever they naturally are… Christian, conservative, and having allergies to gluten. This horrible film shamelessly supports Socialism, Communism, Anarchy, and Obscenity; it degrades all of the elements that created this beautiful country—America. We have no tolerance for any person who wishes to criticize our government, our forefathers, our religion, our system of economics, our military, or our way of life. If this serial rapist didn’t like it here, he should have gone elsewhere. Now, he’ll be staying with us for a long time, exactly where he belongs… behind bars.

63. Mahjongg
"Those Birds Are Bats"  3:09
Chicago, IL

We’ve seen too many times in this world, a terrifying criminal walk away Scott free after committing atrocious crimes just because of celebrity status. We need to make an example out of Brandon Kindle and show the world that we are no longer willing to withstand any sort of celebrity claiming to be above the law. Stay tuned for American Idol, Cops, CSI: Miami, and Law & Order.

62. TV Ghost
"The Nihilist"  2:25
TV Ghost
Lafayette, IN

People even devised jokes about Brandon Kindle. He became the punch line for numerous anecdotes involving the “if you want to rape me, no need to ask” T-shirt, along with several jokes regarding hyperactive sex drive since he raped so many women each and every day. Another photo circulated over the internet that revealed Brandon in prison garments that read: “If you want to anal rape me in the shower, just ask.” The next photo crossed out the words “just ask” and replaced them with “don’t even ask, it serves me right.”

61. The Black Angels
"Mission District"  5:12
Directions to See a Ghost
Austin, TX

His own mother testified against him. She did everything to distance herself from him and the film and claimed that he always had serious problems. She claimed that she had raised him properly and he never listened to her lectures; he was always in trouble at school and a complete headache. Due to the fact that he never listened to her, she was surprised in the least bit that he committed these awful crimes.

60. The Notwist
"Gloomy Planets"  4:50
The Devil, You + Me
Weilheim, Germany

Jessi testified too and she wasn’t surprised either. He was always a weirdo and all she wanted was a normal life. However, after they had sex, which he aggressively pursued and would not take “no” for an answer, he wanted nothing to do with her. She was his girlfriend! In fact, Jessi always suspected that he cheated on her repeatedly during the four years they were together.

59. High Places
"Universe"  4:06
03/07 - 09/07
New York, NY

His own mom and his own girlfriend testified against him, what does that tell you? It sounds to me like there are two more victims. One can only imagine what he put his poor mother through as a child. It also sounds like he probably raped his girlfriend too. For four years she stuck by his side, and this menace would not even acknowledge their relationship; even going so far as to claim they only dated briefly for two weeks. You know, if she was my girlfriend for even one day, I would marched straight to Jared Jewelers and bought her the most expensive diamond ring I could fine the moment I received a payout. This is the major symptom of a sexual predator. He could have had the perfect relationship with obviously a bright young beautiful woman, but the predator in him wished to disgrace as many innocent women as possible. It makes you wonder how many more times in those four years with the lovely Jessi he committed these crimes and we do not know about them. My sympathy goes out to all the victims and the victim’s families.

58. Stereolab
"Pop Molecule [Molecular Pop 1]"  2:17
Chemical Chords
London, England/Bordeaux, France

Finally, his friends from college were permitted to testify in his behalf. They all confirmed that he and Jessi were not together for the four years she claimed. All of them stated that there was any way possible that he was guilty of any of these allegations. Most of them were shocked that these allegations were even brought forth in the first place.

57. The Chap
"Ethnic Instrument"  3:11
Mega Breakfast
London, England

These people who just testified obviously do not even know him. He had moved away, apparently made some work related acquaintances while making this movie, and of course they are going to act surprised. More than likely, they are covering their own butts because they do not want to be associated with this menace. He lived in this town for over 20 years, for OVER 20 YEARS! That’s not a brief encounter, these people are the ones who know him best. We must question the motives of those associated with this film and ask what are they trying to cover up; how long did they know about this? And look at these people; these people willingly volunteered to participate in this horrendous film that insulted our beloved system. They are all terrorists too, and we should consider putting them behind bars. Perjury obviously, and once it is revealed that they knew about it and tried to cover it up, that’s a whole another story. More than likely this was a sex and terrorist cult we are faced with here.

56. Angry Earth
"Way Down"  3:55
Angry Earth
Philadelphia, PA

His new set of friends all lived far away in another state. It was impossible for all of them to testify in his behalf. Furthermore, those who did were dismissed as irrelevant anyway; coupled with they denied lodging services and scrutinized for coming to this town. This trial would not even be taking place in his other community for nobody had ever accused him of being a serial rapist. Although this was hometown, Wilson Kindle was far away from home.

55. Flat Duo Jets
"Everybody's Movin'"  5:40
Two Headed Cow
Carrboro, NC

Protestors who opposed the film were permitted to express dissent towards Kindle and his movie however they pleased. Unlike people who protest war or Capitalism, these protestors were not harassed by the police; they were even permitted in the courtroom and blurt out whatever tirades they felt were appropriate. Fans of the film claiming Kindle’s innocence were not permitted on the premises. The news dedicated immense airtime to the protestors who stood for patriotism... justifiably allotted zero airtime to anybody who claimed this monster could innocent of these awful crimes committed against the innocent victims and the victim’s families.

54. Born Ruffians
"Red Elephant"  5:19
Red, Yellow and Blue
Toronto, ON, Canada

The newspapers printed the story based on the police report according to whoever wrote the police report based on the perspective of the police. Those who could add content from the prosecution were also frequently quoted. They never related anything from the point of view of the defense and his supporters were never quoted in the papers. They were either ignored or dissected as other criminals or people who obviously supported rape. Each article expressed enormous sympathy to the victims and the victim’s families.

53. Dr. Dog
"Hang On"  4:01
Philadelphia, PA

Courtney testified on Brandon Kindle’s behalf. She was the only person in the community who positively claimed his innocence. She stood up for aggressively and even denounced the claims from the victims. She referred to their allegations as false, found obvious flaws in the logic, and made accusations of her own. The announcer commented on Courtney: “She is obviously confused, jaded by his celebrity status, or attempting to cover something up in order to distance herself from affiliation with this person she barely even knew. She never knew him for nobody else could claim they ever even saw the two together.

52. The Low Lows
"Modern Romance"  4:11
Shining Violence
Athens, GA

It reached the point where people were no longer permitted to think he was innocent. Anybody who claimed such a thing was being insensitive to the victims and the victim’s families who were obviously suffering miserably from being forcibly raped by this demon. Anyone who did, obviously supported rape… and that was the primary problem. We just want our children safe. The safety of our children is our primary concern, and not delegating special rights to rapists. How long are we going to tolerate this? Examples were given of past rapists who received reduced sentencing… Jack the Ripper was never apprehended. Do you realize just how much damage is induced during rape?

51. Oneida
"Preteen Weaponry, Pt. III"  13:53
Preteen Weaponry
New York, NY

The jury found him guilty on all accounts and he was sentenced to 467 years in prison. All of his assets were confiscated and distributed equally between the government (63%), the court (28%), and the victims and their families (9%) (the media reported that ALL proceeds went to the victims and the victim’s families) All profits garnered from the film also went to this exact trust fund. TV Commentator: Finally, justice has been served!

Top Image by: Business Insider
Bottom Image by: Contemplative Fitness

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