Chapter 1: Prologue: Cause of Death Unknown
Chapter 2: When Reality Becomes Dreams
Chapter 3: Incoherent Realizations
Chapter 4: Ceres
Chapter 5: Earth Was Not Prepared
Chapter 3: Incoherent Realizations
Press play on the image below to hear this selection of songs in this exact order.
75. Elf Power
"We Dream In Sound" 3:57
A Dream in Sound
This had been a long treacherous walk considering we didn’t have any idea where we were going. Panic could have settled in, but the only voice who seemed to have any clue was holding everybody together. However, he seemed a bit agitated that none of us knew the name of the village in which we lived. He kept questioning us even further. We were asked to describe the place, and I could…vividly. It was a community on a street with a bunch of houses that were shaped like hangars. Everything was made out of aluminum, it was dim lit, and there was a strand of red lights that illuminated the street. The entire village was one road, but there was another road behind it; but that was a different village altogether. Brian lived in the house, and we lived next door to him…Christy and I. I had been living there for a long time, but where it was now remained a mystery.
"The Golden Egg" 5:16
He gradually reached a vivacious state as he become more coherent. As he became more cognizant, the surroundings actually became more surreal. All he had known for the past year was what he had dreamt in the deep sleep of being dead. There had been a prolonged period of complete death; from the time he was killed, to the day he was embalmed and placed in the preservation chamber, to the trip to Mars, to the day he returned to the sub-conscious, to waking up and walking away about an hour ago. All of that time in-between, he had no recollection of and the atmosphere on Mars was creating intense illusions. When night time fell, it was completely dark. There was no moon, but the stars were more prevalent; Jupiter was significantly closer and the asteroid belt provided an amazing display of lights in the sky.
73. The Ladybug Transistor
"The Swimmer" 3:53
The Albemarle Sound
New York, NY
I recalled a pleasant night where I used to live, in that place that I remembered the name. There was an illuminated sign that displayed the name of the restaurant. And back then, they actually had roads, trees, and grass. There was a parking lot. People would drive thru and cute girls would come out on roller skates and bring the order. We ate there, my girlfriend and I, and we had so much fun. We drank milkshakes, and laughed, and our friends joined us. Later we went out and cruised the strip waving at everybody. That was back in 1956. I wasn’t even born in 1956, so there’s no way that I remember that. I don’t think that happened. Me neither.
72. Super Furry Animals
"The Door To This House Remains" 4:17
This Brian fellow, where did you meet him? Oh, you know, we met just casually. He was here, I was there, and we started talking about things I guess. Out in the woods, when we went to The Nightclub, we became friends that night. He came here with me I think, and he’s the one who helped us obtain this place in the village. What village? The village where we live. The town that I don’t know the name of, you know. Did you go to school with Brian? No. Where did you school? There, in that city. Very good. What about here? Do they have a school? They should. Why haven’t I heard anything about a school? People just don’t follow college basketball around here. Our street is more committed to doing other things.
71. The Essex Green
"Tinker (She Heard the News)" 7:29
Everything Is Green
New York, NY
What made you decide to move here? Why did we move here, he answered his own voice with a question. We needed to get away from some shit. No, the voice asked more adamantly, not questioning the decision to move to this location as if it were a bad choice, what made you decide to move here? This insinuated that the subject had no clue where here even was; the voice didn’t. It was the police, and that society. We did not fit in in that society, we did not belong, so we made the decision to abandon society and withdrawal completely. We were supposed to do it for 40 days, but we got a bit caught up, you know. It’s fine here, nobody bothers us anymore. What state are we in? City, state, hell, fuck it, what nation are we even in? We are in the state of Oregon. We had contemplated moving to Portland, but opted not to, that’s when we withdrew instead. I hadn’t eaten or drank anything all day, but I was neither hungry nor thirsty. In fact, I felt great.
These answers were unsettling, and there seemed to be a bit of uncertainty. I was growing perturbed with these questions and even more distraught that I did not have definitive answers for such simple questions. We seriously believed we were in, of all places, mother fucking Oregon. I’ve never been to Oregon. How the fuck then, did I end up in Oregon? This is not Oregon. Oregon has a bunch of fucking trees. Seriously, I thought I was in Oregon this whole time, and we might not even be anywhere near Oregon. Fuck. What happened then was that I went out into the desert to exorcise my mind for 40 days, and I totally achieved it. However, I don’t recall where the hell I am and I must have erased some things. But, this fucker keeps asking me questions, and the goal was to erase him. OK, it hasn’t been 40 days yet. Stop. Sit down. And let’s meditate. Just release you inner tension. Get rid of this person. Those lights in the sky are unlike anything I’ve ever seen. They are the reason I wanted to leave this world in the first place.
69. Acid Mothers Temple & the Melting Paraiso U.F.O.
"Sweet Juicy Lucy" 7:11
Wild Gals a Go-Go
OK, admittedly, I had a thing for the woman who worked at the police station. I used to have to see her every night. Back then, there was a car, and I had to pay to park the son of a bitch every night—even though I was no longer allowed to operate my vehicle. I hated having to pay to park, but I looked forward to seeing her. Somehow, I think she might have known that I had a thing for her. Periodically I would pay her compliments, but tried not to sound creepy or look suspicious—never even knew her name. And, I had a thing for my neighbor. She had a kid though, and that kid had some issues. I remember we used to think that she was possessed by the devil. But, her, the mom, she was hot. I would have to say she eventually held the record for the woman I jerked it to the most. Possibly because I didn’t think I would ever be able to get with her.
For some reason, I always thought it was bad luck to masturbate to a woman; if I did that, then that meant that I would never sleep with her. But then again, I never slept with the woman at the police station either. And I never had sex with the girl from City Market either. I really had a thing for her; she cost me money though. I used to go to City Market and buy shit that I didn’t even need just to see her. Some reason, I never knew her name either. I wasn’t ever that great with the ladies. All of these girls lived close to my old house, and Christy did not. Courtney was there. How did you forget Courtney already, she was your most recent girlfriend? Where was Christy during this period? That was when we broke up. Then, how did Christy get here?
68. The American Analog Set
"It's All About Us" 6:30
The Golden Band
I laid back and looked at the stars. The lights from the constellations looked amazing. There seemed to be somewhat of a breeze but I did not know where it was coming from. It was totally quiet, and I allowed a song to drift in my head and mesmerize me to sleep. When he fell back asleep, he dreamed once again of the town in which he had been searching for. Furthermore, there were some questions as to how long it would take him to wake back up, or whether or not he would simply rejoin the dead—this time for good. But, brain activity remained constant as once again he was finally at home and in bed, sleeping soundly with Christy. Their home was also lit dimly, and the lights had a reddish tint to them. It was a serene setting in their home, and the music played at a comfortable volume. He and Christy dreamed together, walking down by the red lake in the forest of snow covered palm trees while the sun shun dimly on the warm perfect day.
The snow drifted off the palm trees and down into the lake. We followed it down into the lake and floated towards the bottom. There were more palm trees growing at the bottom of the lake and colorful fish greeted us at the table. We sat with the fish and conversed with them about the current situation involving the lighting. Red lights illuminated the bottom of the lake and the friends we made joined us at home. It turned out that Brian and Christy had mutual fish friends and knew of a location at the bottom of the lake that sprouted palm trees from beneath the rice patch of branches that frequently erupted with tubular shaped raspberries. The fish were able to leap out of the water, and they too were now in the red soiled forest of the nightclub watching the bizarre creatures of the band perform some eccentric off-kilter beat with a flashy drummer from a nebula that formed just beyond the horizon.
66. Deep Puddle Dynamics
"Thought Vs. Action" 3:50
The Taste of Rain...Why Kneel?
They finally sent people looking for me. However, our town had been peaceful. The people from the bright city invaded and questioned Brian about my whereabouts. He did not tell them anything, but remained friendly towards them. For obvious reasons, they seemed to enjoy this setting. Rather than returning home after not finding me, they decided to stay in town. They set up camp in our community and eventually their presence was a nuisance. These pricks commanded us to obey their orders and created a major inconvenience. Government period was a major inconvenience and that was why I moved here in the first place; fuckers had army tanks and all sorts of other shit traveling down the road, which was made from gray rock.
65. ...And You Will Know Us By The Trail of Dead
"Mark David Chapman" 4:10
More of them came, and they kept coming. They were no longer on a mission to find me. Instead, they were utilizing our town for something that was of no interest to us, but something they claimed was essential. They needed the resources of our territory too. But, they had bulldozers and other means of heavy equipment that our town did not have any use. We were living fine and that might have bothered them. Then, they claimed that they were allowed in our homes. At first, the people let them because they were such nice people. The people from the lighted city weren’t as friendly though, nor were they appreciative of their services. Perhaps I was being harsh because I still begrudged the lighted city, that’s where I came from.
64. The Montgolfier Brothers
"Even If My Mind Can't Tell You" 6:11
Christy and I sat outside on the patio at City Market underneath the canopy. To the right of City Market was the house with the green carpet, and there was a nice patio in there as well. However, we enjoyed the warm day on the patio of City Market—we liked it better. I liked it better because there was a girl working; but Christy wasn’t supposed to know about her. It was sunny outside and the sky was blue. There were a pretty decent amount of people there, and Gordon showed up with his tray. He sat down with us, we smiled, and the next thing we knew was that we were walking across a wooden bridge over a stream where a boat went by and Harvey and Allison were on the boat and they waved to us and we waved back but they kept going and we were following them on the other boat and we went through a tunnel and there wasn’t very much light in the tunnel that seemed to be never ending until there was a giraffe waiting for us on the other side of the canopy at City Market where more giraffes sat perched on electric blue tables awaiting the services of a Dutchman named Alexander who had been on a mission from the people to find me back in town but we were boating and the giraffes were never going to say where we were because they were discussing how raisins were growing in the red clay near the town.
63. Under Byen
"Gå ind i Lyset" 2:42
I sat on top of the high plateau with Christy as we observed the picaresque setting of the city in which we lived. Somewhere in the midst of this, just beyond the lake, was the town in which we lived. And just over there, that was Oregon. And right over there, that was the place in which we lived. We lived over there. A bird swooped down and smiled at us; he pointed over there, and just beyond those trees was the town in which we lived. This town had a blue sky. That town had a red sky. And that girl from City Market was on top of the plateau, Christy was at home, at home in the town in which she lived. I was now a part of this town, and the girl from City Market and I walked through a garden—it was the same garden from the town with the courtyard in the back of the hotel that a friend worked—he lived over there in that city. Together, we (the girl from City Market and I) floated down from the sky with a waterfall as our backdrop—but we did not get wet. It was our magical moment, the day we shall always cherish.
62. MF DOOM
"Red & Gold" 4:43
The people from the lit city were continuing to bother us. By this point, it was growing increasingly difficult to be nice to them. I did not wish to cooperate with these bastards and I certainly did not give a fuck about their pathetic cause. Brian did not even understand the cause either, but he was allowing them to utilize his home. He was still kind to them and greeted them every time with a smile. However, they were utilizing this for warfare. They seemed to be in competition with another lighted city for domain of this region which was rightfully ours. And that’s when tragedy struck. I have no idea what happened or why, but one of the men from the lighted city shot Brian in the chest and killed him. It was the first time anybody from this town witnessed death.
61. Angel'in Heavy Syrup
"A Series of Water Mind" 4:22
I was jolted out of my sleep by the gunshot. Holy shit, they shot Brian. Wow, that was a fucked up dream. Who the fuck was Brian? This time when I awoke, I was more coherent than before. This Brian person was somebody that I did not know and had never seen this person. It was just a dream, and a strange dream at that. He was somebody that I felt like we knew, but he does not even exist. The voice from within spoke again; we have been searching for Brian, he is at your house. But, Brian is not real; it was just a dream. Then that means the town we are searching for is not real. Christy is not here either. It had all been a dream.
"Reason Why" 5:49
Heavy Black Frame
If these people were not real, then where the fuck was I? I looked around at my surroundings and came to the conclusion that I had never been here before. The place that I lived had lights. There was a moon. Well, sometimes there wasn’t a moon. But, it seemed to be a strange day, what little I was awake during it. I must have been drugged, and then dragged out here and abandoned. A date rape. The question is now is how long was I out? I was still feeling euphoric and imagined they must have been powerful drugs. The last thing I remember was walking around looking for a village. What the fuck sort of village was that shit? Wow, that was pretty bizarre that I actually searched for a town that I had never been to in my entire life and assumed somebody named Brian was living there with my ex-girlfriend.
"All I Had" 4:36
After realizing that neither Brian nor this village ever existed, I had to decipher what was real and what was a dream, and it was relatively difficult due to the fact that the drugs had not worn off completely. Forget the places with the dim lit red skies the voice within ordered. Under the blue skies with the light, that’s where I lived. And, I didn’t have a girlfriend; I was trying to avoid them for the most part. There was a period where I wasn’t happy and I didn’t want to be there anymore. That’s what happened, I neglected everybody and everything, and somebody eventually grew tired of my reclusiveness and ordered me out of my shell. That had been a developing situation.
58. Modest Mouse
"All Nite Diner" 4:44
Building Nothing Out of Something
I wonder who date raped me. Hopefully, it was Courtney. Of all the possibilities, she was the only one that potentially would be capable. Christy is out of the picture; she had been for ages. Those girls near my house, I didn’t even know them. I knew Courtney though, but I didn’t know her that well I guess. She had something about her, and I remembered thinking that we might be a good couple. However, I was being difficult and pretended as if I hated her. The more I tried to hate her; I think I fell in love with her. The odds she knows this are slim. Therefore, we have to rule her out. She probably never liked me anyway. My neighbor didn’t like me either. Neither did the girl at City Market, nor the chick at the police station; fuck, Christy probably never did either.
So, then, if we are not from a town, or headed to the village, then where the fuck are we? A disturbing fear settled in as we came to grips that we were officially lost in the middle of nowhere; more than likely we were all going to die. Reflecting on the house with the patio inside with the staircase—that did not exist either. We were still confused as to what was a dream and what really happened, and feared those creatures from the forest may be coming. Even after discovering those things did not exist, we were on the watch for wolves, Gila monsters, or whatever creatures might be lurking in the horizon. Sleeping was impossible, as we became so paranoid that something was going to attack us; gigantic insects. The lack of noises made matters worse, as it sounded as if we could actually hear the sky. Once again, there was no moon, and the star constellations seemed extraordinary. Shit, I started to freak out again. It was like a bad acid trip, a disturbing dream—there is no way that seemed rational how I ended up here. The voice from within shouted: “Chill the fuck out!” We sat back down and tried to gather our thoughts.
56. Radar Bros.
"Shiftly Lies" 4:26
The Singing Hatchet
Los Angeles, CA
We broke up with Christy a long time ago—she has nothing to do with us being here, so we need to exclude her from the equation. Obviously nobody we know is present and no friend would simply strand us in Wyoming—or wherever the fuck it is that we are. North Dakota is another possibility. Think, think, think. He sat there and reflected back, in reverse chronological order, finally removing all elements of images from this village where he thought to have lived with somebody named Brian. Thoughts turned to the city. That was it; I was running from the police, and dipped down an alleyway. A woman entered the alley, a woman I had never seen before…and she fired a shot at me. She drew a gun and shot—that’s when I blanked.
"Cursed Mirror" 3:04
Come Pick Me Up
Chapel Hill, NC
I am positive that I was not shot by the police. They would not have shot me because I had not committed a serious enough crime—it was mischief and I was never a notorious criminal. But, the woman: I did not know this woman. She had something peculiar about her. As I was darting away for my escape, she raced up behind me, drew a gun, and shot. So, she shot my ass. That fucking bitch! And, after she shot me, she dropped me off here to dispose of my body. All of the voices in my head agreed that that situation actually happened—that was not a dream. I fucking got shot and my body dumped in the wilderness.
54. Of Montreal
"Collection of Poems About Water" 3:57
The Gay Parade
I raised my shirt to monitor the wounds, and there weren’t any at all; I did not have a scratch on me. Maybe I was shot in the back, but I could not see my back. There’s a chance then that the bullet missed me, and I simply blacked out because I was too big of a pussy and fainted from somebody shooting at me. Although I try to be a badass, this is somewhat logical. After I fainted, she put me in her trunk and drove me somewhere, and then ditched me. For several days I walked, trying to find out where I was going. There was nobody around and I was completely alone. What was strange, there weren’t any animals either, no insects, and I never got hungry or thirsty. Something peculiar was definitely happening.
The Man Who
Back then, all signs were pointing me somewhere, and they were pointing right out the door. I had abandoned the world, and now when the world abandoned me, it finally came down to this…the sheer solitude of desolate loneliness. However, there remained something unreasonable that kept creeping into my mind, and I never embraced it. Anytime it entered, I immediately dismissed it as impossible and refused to dwell upon it. But, finally, it became the only logical solution. I’m not hungry—yet I haven’t eaten in days. I’m not thirsty—I should be dead from thirst. And, then it occurred to me, I am dead. I died from the gunshot wound. I remember getting hit. The realization that I was dead was overwhelming. I could do nothing but sit down and force myself to come to grips with the fact that I was dead. It was a difficult process, and during that time, I reflected back on my life and opportunities I squandered. I did not lead a very good life; nor did I accomplish any of my desired goals.
52. Bonnie 'Prince' Billy
"Death to Everyone" 4:31
I See a Darkness
After that, my mind raced through the thoughts of Brian and this supposed Village. I had no idea how long I had been dead. For whatever reason, I felt as if I could create a time table based on the dreams. However, those dreams seemed far more rational than this reality that I was currently entrenched in. Apparently, there really was an afterlife. However, this was not heaven and this was not hell; I suppose I was sentenced to purgatory. But then again, was this really happening? Maybe this was but a dream that I was having from a casket 6 feet beneath the Earth. I told those mother fuckers not to bury me on Earth. Pricks! I wrote in my will that I wanted to be disposed of on Mars. And, that’s when I looked around. Once again, I thought of Christy, Brian, the girl from City Market, my parents, my brother, my life on Earth… and I looked around again.
"Alaska Pt. 2" 3:34
Boston, MA/Los Angeles, CA
What does this look like to you? Man, I remember the pictures. And based on the photos that I saw, this actually looks like Mars. Holy fucking shit! I died and they dropped me off on Mars. I smiled.
For a moment, I was saddened that I died. I was never going to see anybody ever again. And then, I thought to myself, “Mars.”
Holy shit, I said out loud with a content smile, I died and I’m on Mars. They seriously dropped me off; what friends! I could no longer contain the smiles. Once I was certain that I was on the Planet Mars, and I was already dead with no more fears of dying, I sat perched on the hill, and observed the elegant beauty of my new home. This was what I always wanted; a dream had been fulfilled.
Top Image by: OCD Viewer
Bottom Image by: The Brandgym Blog