The Top 75 Songs of 1970

The Top 125 Songs of 1970 + Three Days In Sheboygan, WI
Part 1: The Manifestation of a Curse
Part 2: Winners of The Ultimate Dream Vacation
Part 3: Love Affairs Between the Dead and the Living
Part 4: A Great Terror is Among Us
Part 5: This Chair

Part III: Love Affairs Between the Dead and the Living

Press play on the image below to hear this selection of songs in this exact order.

75. Frank Zappa
"WPLJ" 2:53
Burnt Weeny Sandwich
Baltimore, MD (1940)-Los Angeles, CA (1993)

Benny and Patty celebrated their fishing excursion with Barbara. The vacationing couple kept every single fish they caught and placed them inside their suitcases still flopping around. They drank “wine” (Wild Irish Rose) out of fancy glasses and toasted a successful fishing trip. Cheers! With a pleasant smile, they tapped each other’s glasses and went out on the town. It was a crazy night in mother fucking Sheboygan, Wisconsin.

74. Alice Cooper
"Below Your Means" 6:57
Easy Action
Detroit, MI

Petry also enjoyed a crazy night in Sheboygan, Wisconsin. She sat at a table drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon out a can with her newly discovered soul mate Klines the Clown along with the rest of her new friends The Clowns & The Nokopones. It was revealed that Petry also had a warped sense of humor and thoroughly enjoyed haunting. Some town’s people were playing a heated game of darts and the score was tied. The reigning champion of darts of aimed, shot, and his dart hit something invisible and dropped to the ground. After that, all of the darts began behaving mysteriously.

73. Tyrone Davis
"I Keep Coming Back" 2:42
Turn Back the Hands of Time
Greenville, MS (1938)-Hinsdale, IL (2009)

What a perfect time for Norman Beaumont to return, drunk off his dead ass, just to find two douchy visitors sleeping in what was once his daughter’s bedroom. In life, he had been too lenient—death would be no such case. Norman staggered into Barbara’s bedroom and ripped the covers off of her bed. She could not see him and assumed it was the same ghosts who had been haunting her home for years. The entire house shook, her cross was ripped from her neck and lit on fire; the burning cross caused the bed to burn, and suddenly there was crucifix burning in the backyard as the wind blew. This was a love affair that had gone dreadfully awry.

72. Rita Lee
"Macarrão Com Lingüiça E Pimentão" 3:03
Build Up
São Paulo, Brazil

An evil spirit presently cursed the town of Sheboygan and it wasn’t a Clown and it wasn’t a Nokopone. Not knowing that Petry was present in the village, Norman blamed Barbara and the town of Sheboygan for not only his own depressing death, but for the death of his daughter. The church caught fire and the flames did not perish with water. Instead, the church grew to enormous heights and was surrounded by a blackened image of Petry burning on a cross. This spirit was far more powerful than anyone living or dead could have imagined.

71. Marcos Valle
"Que eu Canse e Descanse" 3:20
Marcos Valle
Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

Sadness prevailed in the grocery store. Sorrow reigned at the barber shop. The looks in the old man’s eyes represented that of remorse. There were numerous things they wished they had done differently throughout the course of history. Unfortunately, for many of them, it was too late. Life had passed them by and they did not fulfill it as they had hoped.

70. Elton John
"Come Down In Time" 3:26
Tumbleweed Connection
London, England

Where was The Universe going and what role did the town of Sheboygan play in its’ destination? These questions had no answers as the population was frequently plagued with disturbing signs that a revelation was failed. Spooky occurrences took place daily and the atmosphere was constantly eerie. There was a totem pole of skulls and a totem pole of Clown heads perched in front of the village square, and a vicious looking owl foaming at the mouth perched on top of the totem poles.

69. Carpenters
"We've Only Just Begun" 3:05
Close to You
Downey, CA

It did not take long for Petry and Klines to realize they had made the right decision. The two of them immediately fell in love and the abstract beauty of a distinguished eccentric walking the beach with a dead clown created a special symbol of romance that would last for eternity. For once, his happy image seemed sincere; for once he was no longer a metaphor for her troubled existence. Rather, the two of them defined each other’s role in The Universe. And, it had only begun and would only grow stronger as they travelled freely the kingdom of The Universe for all eternity.

68. The Velvet Underground
"Walk and Talk It" 2:23
Peel Slowly and See
New York, NY

What a gorgeous day! People were on the beach playing volleyball in the sand, laughing, frolicking, and Benny and Patty were having a joyful time dunking Barbara’s head underneath the water until she coughed, choked, and nearly drowned. Chief Black Hummingbird saw the happiness, smiled, and snapped his fingers. In an unsuspecting moment, the sunny sky turned black, lightning struck, and violent rain and hail fell viciously from the sky. The wind blew at tornado speeds and the storm sirens blasted. At once, the previously joyful Sheboyganites panicked and quickly raced for their cars and sped away to shelter. All of the cars racing at once caused turmoil; there was major traffic, panic, and the storm caused a series of violent car crashes. Soon, the winds blew concrete blocks into the windshields, and 23 cars crashed into each other on the street.

67. The Partridge Family
"I Think I Love You" 2:55
The Partridge Family Album
Hollywood, CA

Fortunately, Benny and Patty brought enough towels. They each had 9 towels wrapped around them while seated in Barbara’s living room. Barbara had lit the fireplace and was seated on the ledge staring at them, smiling. She stared continuously and kept staring, smiling, finally telling them that she loved them. It made them uncomfortable. The mailman burst into the house to shelter himself from the storm. At that moment, the flames in the fireplace erupted and the mailman caught on fire, burning alive in the living room. Barbara did not attempt to put out the fire, simply stared at Benny and Patty who were in a state of crippling fear and on the verge of panic; Barbara blew them a kiss. The mailman jumped out the window and a pack of rabid followed after him. Barbara winked at Benny, waved sweetly to Patty.

66. Eddie Holman
"Hey There Lonely Girl" 3:25
I Love You
Norfolk, VA/Philadelphia, PA

There was a debate deciding the moment in which Klines and Petry actually met. He saw her first, but she didn’t see him obviously because the mother fucker was dead. But, he recalled the day he met her. The Clown was standing outside her window prepared to do something vicious, but saw a lonely outcast sitting on her bed reading a book. The rest of the town was out acting like the exact same set of idiots, but Petry was beautiful. His love was so strong that he did nothing but sit around and think of ways to kill her so that she would be lonely no more, and together with him. She found it extremely romantic the way he related that he nearly offed her out in a field and his desires to carry her to corpse to the wedding chapel in a wheelbarrow.

65. The Moments
"Love on a Two-Way Street" 3:27
A Moment With The Moments
Hackensack, NJ

A Nokopone stood in the road in the pouring rain while cars were colliding into each other at a dangerous speed. Anna wasn’t wearing her seatbelt and when she crashed into a truck, she went through the windshield, over the hood, and into the arms of the Nokopone. She wasn’t dead yet, and was able to see the Nokopone spirit. They made eye contact, and she pleaded for him to take her. It was a soft kiss that left the Nokopone’s mouth full of blood. Burning Forest looked at her as she was fading; they were able to touch one another. He was not ready to commit to a soul mate, but Anna had that something about her. Anna did not die, however; she fell into a coma and her image haunted Burning Forest. This shall be a difficult decision.

64. Bob Dylan
"If Dogs Run Free" 3:41
New Morning
Duluth, MN

There was a series of loud noises coming from upstairs. Barbara ignored them and remained staring at Benny and Patty. Finally, they grew afraid and ran upstairs to their corridors; this also happened to be where the noise was coming from. They opened up the closet door and were met with numerous sets of glowing red eyes. A pack of demonic wolves had entered the closet and destroyed their luggage. The biggest meanest looking one growled and bit into the suitcase containing Benny’s under garments. Its powerful fierce jaws and razor sharp teeth were easily able to penetrate the cheap ass luggage these two owned. Once it bit into the bag, blood splattered into the air; blood spilled from Benny’s boxer briefs. Patty clutched Benny’s hand and they held each other tight prepared to die. However, the wolves walk passed them, leaving the house with each of them carrying several items from their suitcases in their mouths as they exited Barbara’s home.

63. Chicago
"In The Country" 6:35
Chicago II
Chicago, IL

A group of demons entered a bar. Among them, Eddie, a skeleton with glowing eyes wearing a hooded cape similar to that of Death; Scott, a hunchback with humongous eyes that shitty looking brown hippy baja; and Ned, nobody knew what the fuck Ned was because he was completely engulfed in flames. They sat there at the bar, quietly, not saying a word for several minutes, looking down, in deep thought, drinking their steins for several minutes.

62. John Cale
"Charlemagne" 5:03
Vintage Violence
Garnant, England/New York, NY/Los Angeles, CA

She sat on the higher chair, and his seat was a bit lower. For the 86,417th time in his life, his world had completely burned down and the discernible despair overwhelmed once again. But it was her throne, the one significantly more prevalent, that heightened fortitude and remained steadfast persevering any hindrance accompanied with adversity. Her world had once been demolished completely; she simply rebuilt it and rose above all known obstacles portending vivacity. Adjoined with her throne, he’d live to see his world burn down for the 86,418th time, which could be any minute now.

61. The Pretty Things
"The Letter" 1:36
London, England

Life in Sheboygan grew too strenuous for her. Doug could not understand why anybody would want to leave Sheboygan; the blood dripping from the ceiling only set them back a few hundred bucks. Maybe it was the fact that all the meat in the freezer mysteriously came back to life and completely destroyed her curling iron—“this shit happens from time to time”, he insisted. One day, he too left Sheboygan. It had nothing to do with the fact that there was quadruple suicide in the house next door. No, this town did not have an Arby’s and that was unacceptable.

60. Grateful Dead
"Truckin'" 5:05
American Beauty
San Francisco, CA

The demons at the bar finally broke the silence and shared a drink and a conversation with Ernie, some random white guy who just happened to show up and have dinner while still wearing his cap at the table. They spoke of their long strange journey, one that included supernatural terrors that few had ever even heard of, let alone actually witnessed. This one time, all of the customers standing in line at the grocery store mysteriously left at once, with blank looks in their eyes. They walked to the local gun store, apprehended a firearm apiece, and shot themselves at the exact same time. Another tale involved a roller coaster; escalating up the hill, somebody lit the entire train on fire—it continued its’ full duration, down the hill and through the loops, completely gulfed in flames. There were no survivors and the man operating the ride died of a heart attack.

59. Astrud Gilberto
"Wailing Of The Willow" 2:16
I Haven't Got Anything Better to Do
Salvador, Brazil

Patty informed Benny that she was ready to leave Sheboygan. “You mean leave our dream vacation early? Honey, don’t you realize that we are in Sheboygan, Wisconsin?” The fact that it was indeed the dream vacation no longer mattered to her. Their entire luggage was destroyed by a pack of rapid wolves. But, she attempted to make the best of it. Sheboygan was, of course, the vacation of a lifetime and she did not wish anything to spoil it.

58. Cat Stevens
"Father And Son" 3:41
Tea for the Tillerman
London, England

The Great Chief Black Hummingbird paid a visit to Burning Forest who was in the hospital looking over Anna. Something about the way she appeared in a coma state made her beautiful. It was a surprise visit from The Great Chief and he offered words of kindness and encouragement. Although he was considered the greatest leader in the history of the universe, it turned out that he had some regrets in his storied life; but he was happy and when his time would come, he had lived it exactly how he was destined. But there was the hope of a girl, a lovely woman that seems to make all good things even better. Burning Forest walked to outlet in which Anna’s life support was breathing for her and he pulled the plug.

57. James Gang
"Ashes the Rain and I" 4:59
Rides Again
Cleveland, OH

Anna twitched and there was movement under her eyelids. The machine let loose a loud beep as she flat-lined. There was a muddled state of chaos as orderlies were attempting to enter her room and rescue her. She experienced a flashing white light and a dizzying state of euphoria as a multitude of images raced through her passing state. At first, she could hear the voices of the rushing orderlies attempting to rescue her; they were fading in an out and it was nearly inaudible. But after a few moments, she could hear them clearly and her hearing was perfectly coherent. She stood over her own lifeless body watching the doctors and nurses attempting to revive her dead body; Burning Forest walked over and put his arm around her.

56. The Move
"Cherry Blossom Clinic Revisited" 7:43
Birmingham, England

Kelly the Clown walked into the saloon and saw the three demons sitting at the bar. He drew a pie from his bag and threw it across the bar, clocking Scott the Hunchback square in the face. The little ghoulish hunchback was startled, seemingly hurt, and struggled to scrape pie toppings off of his face. Ned and Eddie stood up, pushed their bar stools back and prepared for a showdown. Nobody else could see the clowns, but they saw the ghostly pie fly through the air and beam Scott. Eddie signaled for the bartender, and a pie slid down the bar. He took aim, and at that moment, Kansas the Clown entered and beamed Eddie. Quickly, Ned grabbed the pie just before it hit the ground and launched it at Kelly, who ducked and the pie hit some guy playing darts in the back of the head. A full-on pie fight took place at the bar.

55. Uriah Heep
"Gypsy" 6:39
...Very 'eavy...Very 'umble
London, England

{Two scenes flashing back and forth}(During lyrics) Prior to becoming The Great Chief, Black Hummingbird once fell in love with a settler. She was a teenage beauty queen, and he was extremely handsome in his younger days. However, the elder white man did not approve of his daughter fucking around with a Nokopone Indian and ordered him off of his own land. (During music, heavy riff.) Black Hummingbird unleashed a pack of demonic wolves with glowing red eyes upon the white man. The wolves chased after him and viciously attacked. (FLASH) Those same wolves chased after Benny and Patty in Barbara’s home. An unseen Nokopone Indian watched the madness as Barbara was attempting to restore order. Unfortunately, one of the demonic wolves slipped on the linoleum tile in the kitchen and knocked over a house plant. When the house plant tipped over and busted, blood spilled from the soil.

54. Shuggie Otis
"Oxford Gray" 6:55
Here Comes Shuggie Otis
Los Angeles, CA

(0:01-2:22) The bar pie fight was blazing out of control. There were broken beer bottles, turned over chairs, busted pool sticks, and shit scattered all over the floor as the entire bar erupted into a full-fledged brawl. However, The Clowns had a major advantage for nobody else could see them except for Ned, Eddie, and Scott the Hunchback. One of them, unfortunately, was wounded, as Scott the Hunchback laid face-down on the floor with his face planted in a pie.

(2:23-End of song) Eddie the Skeleton challenged Kelly the Clown to a duel out in the streets. The two stood outside in the road with their backs against each other, each one holding a pie. All the members of the community stood around and watched in awe, terrified, a skull holding a pie, and a seemingly invisible entity as a pie was mysteriously floating in space. The intensity was rising as it finally grew silent. Somebody dropped a flag and they were to walk five paces, turn, and shoot. After five paces, The Skeleton quickly turned and launched the pie (Kelly did not even launch his). It would have been a direct hit, but Kelly the Clown is dead and the pie went right through him. He laughed an evil laugh and then chased after Eddie the Skeleton with his pie; Eddie ran away as fast as his bony legs would allow him.

53. Nick Drake
"One of These Things First" 4:52
Bryter Layter
Yangon, Myanmar (1948)-Tanworth, England (1974)

To think what Sheboygan could have been if the settlers would have let The Nokopones and The Clowns live in peace. Or, what the world could have been if they were left in peace. There are numerous instances involving one group oppressing another group within The Universe that has altered the course of everything. Horrendous acts of cruelty still exist today and will ultimately alter the course of the future for generations to come. There are towns not yet cursed, but ultimately awaiting the same fate as Sheboygan as the population continues to act senselessly.

52. Genesis
"Stagnation" 8:51
Godalming, England

Benny and Patty walked downstairs into Barbara’s basement. They had been in color, but the moment they opened the basement door, they were black and white—as was everything else in the basement. It was a nicely decorated finished basement, but it was decorated entirely with black and white photos of Petry. Barbara was down there waiting for them; she too was in black and white. She told them awful tales, something about a curse, something they may have already known too much about. It was frightening to hear this old woman speak, and fear overcame them and they ran upstairs and out of the house.

Like all people do when they are deathly afraid, Benny and Patty decided once again to go fishing on the tranquil lake. Things started to become peaceful and suddenly Patty’s fishing pole was moving. She reeled in the fish, and it too was in black and white (the rest of the world was now in color). They looked at it in awe wondering how this fish became black and white. All of the fish jumped out of the water at once, in an artistic dolphin-like leap performing twists and turns, all of the fish were black and white. They landed and re-emerged once again, and this time they were all in color. The colorful fish were armed with pies and every single one of them launched a pie with their fins and zipped Benny and Patty in the face with a rapid fire onslaught of hundreds of pies. The assault caused Benny and Patty to fall out of the boat and into the lake.

51. Hawkwind
"Seeing It as You Really Are" 10:42
London, England

Underneath the water, everything suddenly turned red. They floated to the top and swam out of the lake that was now filled with blood. Once they reached shore, they wished they had brought more towels in order to wipe all the blood off of them. There was an eerie feeling in the air as the sky now reflected red from the Great Lake of Blood. All of the fish walked out of the lake. They were marching, wearing armor combat helmets on their heads, and holding rifles at their sides just like a soldier. Benny and Patty tried to run, but the brigade marched right past them.

The Clowns were clowning around and Eddie the Skeleton froze immediately; as did The Clowns who looked off in the distance. Eddie wiped the pie filling from his eyes, stood up, and he too looked into the distance. Scott the Hunchback raised his head from the floor, wiped the whipped cream from his eyes, stood up and went outside with the others. The Demons stood motionless staring off into the distance. The Clowns stood alongside them, and they were soon joined with The Nokopone Indians. Fish were coming. “It appears this curse knows no limitations.”

Top Image by: http://outpost81.com/clowns/ping_pong_clowns.htm
Bottom Image by: http://laterallineco.com/blog/category/fishing-travel-journal/

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