The Top 25 Songs of 1970

The Top 125 Songs of 1970 + Three Days In Sheboygan, WI
Part 1: The Manifestation of a Curse
Part 2: Winners of The Ultimate Dream Vacation
Part 3: Love Affairs Between the Dead and the Living
Part 4: A Great Terror is Among Us
Part 5: This Chair

Part V: This Chair

Press play on the image below to hear this selection of songs in this exact order.

25. Blue Cheer
"Babaji (Twilight Raga)" 3:46
San Francisco, CA

In the still of the night, all was silent as I sat on the balcony enjoying the comforts of the warm summer breeze. Off in the distance, it was so quiet, that I distinctly heard the sound of a chain busting and the crash of something breaking. That was followed by two gunshots and then all was silent again. A marvelous streak had tragically come to an end. It was time bed. I simply went to my room, put the covers over my head, and dreamed of home.

24. Mungo Jerry
"In the Summertime" 3:35
In the Summertime
London, England

Day 3 in Sheboygan certainly was a lovely one. It was as if Day 2 never happened. People were playing volleyball on the beach again, drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon straight out of a tin can, and a fine lemonade stand was opened in the neighborhood. Well, almost everything was kosher. Lloyd the venomous demon pulled up to the lemonade stand on his motorcycle and grabbed the entire pitcher of lemonade. He chugged the entire pitcher and spit the last portion out splattering it all over the little girl’s face. The motorcycle was turned around, and he revved the engine causing black smoke exhaust fumes to pollute the lemonade stand. He left without paying and waved to some hot babes walking around the sub-division.

23. Módulo 1000
"Turpe Est Sine Crine Caput" 6:00
Não Fale com Paredes
Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

Benny walked into the kitchen and saw the most disturbing thing he had ever seen. He found Barbara in there with his wife, and his lovely wife Patty had her cock in a Tupperware bowl trying to blow her load in it. Once she finally did, the mixture was complete. Candles had been laid out, and the potion was spread out across the floor and poured onto a bizarre looking structure they had created in the kitchen. Barbara lit the potion on fire and black smoke emitted into the kitchen as she danced around the flames performing a chant. And up rose from the dead, Kenny the Clown…there was trouble in the supernatural.

22. Jorge Ben
"Mulher Brasileira" 4:26
Força Bruta
Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

Kenny was never going to find a suitable mate among the living. However, he had already found one among the dead. Her name was Louisa and she hailed from Portland, Oregon. The two met a few years after Louisa was shot and killed during a diamond heist and they had been together ever since. Death had been beautiful for them and they thoroughly enjoyed their time together. They were soul mates and more than likely leaving this portion of The Universe soon. But, one moment they were together, and the next minute, Kenny mysteriously disappeared—and was standing in a kitchen in Sheboygan staring at the old woman they had been haunting and some girl with a 10” cock.

21. Curtis Mayfield
"We the People Who Are Darker Than Blue" 6:06
Chicago, IL (1942)-Roswell, GA (1999)

The Nokopone Indian tribe warned The Great Chief Black Hummingbird of a terrible danger. A white woman had figured out a method to bring the conspirators of the curse back from the dead and a beautiful love was in jeopardy. Black Hummingbird feared this disturbance may happen someday but opted to meditate on it. Their people had been plagued with troubles since the white man invaded their property. It was time to work together and put an end to this madness once and for all. After the spell was performed, Kenny the Clown now walked with the living, but had knowledge of the dead and friends with the curse. The Nokopone Indians invaded Barbara’s home and assisted Kenny with his escape. However, he stepped in front of a bus but survived the crash; it appeared he could no longer return to the dead.

20. The Moody Blues
"Question" 5:40
A Question of Balance
Birmingham, England

Kenny could hear the voice of Louisa at times, and it was becoming increasingly difficult to distinguish the dead and the living. Unfortunately, he could no longer see her, no longer hold her, and the two of them were lost without each other. The life of the living was not where he belonged anymore, and he prayed for a miracle that would take his life. He tried every means of suicide imaginable—he shot himself, leaped down an elevator shaft, and lit himself on fire. The Clowns and The Nokopones tried to assist him. He lay on the ground, the Earth shook, and a gigantic boulder rolled off a cliff and plunged directly on top of Kenny; Kenny merely crawled out from underneath the boulder and tried to think what to do next.

19. Exuma
"The Vision" 7:58
Cat Island, Bahamas (1941)-Nassau, Bahamas (1997)

The Great Chief sat beside the fire and contacted the ancient great ones. On the planet of the living, bizarre things began happening. Patty’s huge penis shriveled up and was no longer effective. Kenny the Clown stood on the beach, and Lloyd the venomous creature rolled up to him on his motorcycle. Once again, the black and white fish marched out of the sea. The Clown hopped on the back of Lloyd’s motorcycle and the fish followed. A great terror was once again in the air. Connie McCreamy was having her hair done, when all of sudden her face was that of a clown. The beautician dropped the scissors in fear and Connie ran out of the parlor. There were numerous dead Clowns walking the streets, and they weren’t even part of the actual gang The Clowns who had cursed the city of Sheboygan. Dead clowns and black and white filled the streets and stopped in front of the downtown shops. A cloud of eerie mist and fog clouded the streets; when it cleared, Lloyd the venomous biker was perched on his bike smoking, Kenny the Clown on the back, and they eyed the beauty salon.

18. Minnie Riperton
"Only When I'm Dreaming" 3:27
Come to My Garden
Chicago, IL (1947)-Los Angeles, CA (1979)

Louisa did not possess the ability to haunt. She could only see her true love, Kenny the Clown, in dreams. Part of her wished that she could return to the living like Kenny. In her dream, she told Kenny the Clown that she would return to the living, and that he should simply remain in Sheboygan, Wisconsin and wait on her. Unfortunately, Barbara only knew a spell to bring back those who cursed Sheboygan. Then he remembered The Ancient Artifact; it had to still exist and he remembered where it had been hidden hundreds of years ago.

17. Tyrannosaurus Rex
"Elemental Child" 5:33
A Beard of Stars
London, England

Rather than simply open the door of the salon, Lloyd busted out the front window. The fish stormed in and attacked Sally the beautician. They held her down and forced a series of curlers in her hair and stuffed her head underneath the dryer. Lloyd went through all of the drawers, scattering items across the floor, sniffing some of the fragrances, and removed Sally’s photo from her shelf and stuffed it in his back pocket. Kenny the Clown entered and caused more insanity. He was followed by the police and the fish chased them out of the building. Sally’s hair did not look good at all, and all of the ladies sitting underneath the Gossip Hats talked shit and laughed about how horrible her new hairstyle looked. Barbara emerged from the basement with The Ancient Artifact, “looking for this?”

16. Captain Beefheart
"The Clouds Are Full of Wine (Not Whiskey or Rye)" 2:47
Lick My Decals Off, Baby
Glendale, CA (1941)-Arcata, CA (2010)

She was contemplating making some sort of a deal, but Lloyd simply jerked it out of her hand and bitch slapped her. As they were riding down the street, the curse was now in full swing—even worse since a member of the curse now had The Ancient Artifact in his possession. All sorts of bizarre objects fell from the sky and into the city of Sheboygan; many of them dropped into the lake. There was now a rhinoceros walking through the Village Square, along with a baboon and a chimpanzee—all spoke perfect English, and the chimpanzee also rode a motorcycle. Wearing black sunglasses, he rode up next to Lloyd, and they were now a biker gang.

15. Gal Costa
"Mini Mistério" 4:20
Salvador, Brazil

People were enjoying the sunshine and playing volleyball and badminton. A parade of elephants emerged from the lake and sprayed blood all over the volleyball players with their trunks. Just as a guy in white shorts and a polo shirt swung his racket, but the shuttlecock was no longer there; it was caught in the hands of a dead clown. He tried to swing the racket at him, but the wolves attacked the badminton players and ran them off the court. Once they controlled the court, the terrifying clowns decided today was a nice enough day and started a friendly game of badminton on their own; they did not even appear too sweltering playing badminton while wearing full clown garments in the hot sun.

14. Golden Earring
"Big Tree, Blue Sea" 6:08
Golden Earring
The Hague, Netherlands

A menacing looking clown, Kramer the Clown, one of the members of the original gang The Clowns, the baddest mother fucking clown not to be fucked with, stared into the TV set. He spoke with an evil dreaded voice, almost a whisper:

“I’m sun, I'm warm, I'm child of the moon
Even when it's dark, I'll sand the dune
Can't you hear there's fishermen laughing
The whale dips down, I hear him crying for me
I'm shade, I'm good, I'm beams in June
Even when it's dark, I'll light your room
Don't you know the clown has feelings
Talking revolution, secret meetings, who’s free”

(2:41) Kramer the Clown swung an axe into a woman tied up to a chair with tape over her mouth. Blood splattered in the air as the axe was swung ferociously. She was shoved outside, and Kramer marched her down the street. Her hands were tied, there was blood on her clothes, and she had tape over her mouth; Kramer held a switchblade knife to her neck as they walked towards the crowd. They were joined by the rest of The Clowns, who instantly attacked anybody who tried to stop them. In the ruckus, they threw somebody through a shop window, then stormed into the shop and looted it—they smashed several TV’s on the ground. A police officer attempted to stop them, but he was attacked too; they beat him to the ground and threw a television set through the window of the police cruiser.

13. Can
"Mother Sky" 14:29
Köln, Germany

Molotov Cocktails provided the light show and marked the end of the police cruiser. No sooner than the car caught on fire and the television shop was looted, madness raced in the streets. Flash mobs of black and white fish stormed through homes, busting through their bay windows, and tormenting people in their houses. One home, all of the dishes were removed from the cabinet and busted on the kitchen floor, including Aunt Martha’s nice casserole dish. A rhinoceros burst into the bank and knocked over all the deposit slips with his horn and stamped on all the coins he scattered on the floor. A monkey pulled the fire alarm of an office building and the wolves attacked the people racing out of the building. The dead clowns joined The Clowns and launched pies at the business people in suits who were supposedly on vacation. The chimpanzee rode alongside Lloyd, both were smoking cigarettes. From the back of the motorcycle, Kelly the Clown lobbed a pie in the direction of an empty slide. But, at the precise moment it was about to strike the empty slide, a kid came down the slide and his face was splattered with the incoming pie.

12. Neil Young
"After the Gold Rush" 3:46
After the Gold Rush
Toronto, ON, Canada

I heard more gunshots the following day. It had been a long time since I recalled hearing gunshots. Never in this town had I heard them, but somewhere I used to live, they were frequent. This type of warfare was something that I never wished to be a part of. In fact, this society period was never anything I ever desired. Maybe someday I will join them again, but that doesn’t appear to be happening anytime soon. Back in room, I simply lie awake in my room, dreaming of home…wherever that may be. Making it home now just seems hopeless.

11. Van Morrison
"Gypsy Queen" 3:18
His Band and the Street Choir
Belfast, Northern Ireland

Worsel had experienced yet another miracle—right at the time he looked as if he may starve to death, something mysteriously happened. Through some sort of meditation on his own, he prayed to God for the best possible happiness for all spirits involved with the miracle. As previously stated, Chief Black Hummingbird once fell in love with a white woman, a teenage beauty queen who had a bout with her own father just because he was a Nokopone. After Worsel Brittlemeyer completed his meditation exercise, she mysteriously showed on a bridge, the same bridge in which The Great Chief was walking. She was unblemished, and she remembered the young brave, and proud to see that he had become The Great Chief. Time did not necessarily mend all of the wounds, but realizations were made over hundreds of years. This time, her father approved, and the two beautiful spirits were now free to be with their soul mates—each other.

10. Badfinger
"Without You" 4:45
No Dice
Abertawe, England

Thoughts of Louisa only turned to despair. Without Louisa, Kenny the Clown had no desire to be a member of society. In protest of the wrongful resurrection, Kenny tied a noose around his neck and hung himself at Village Square—publicly for the entire town’s people to see. However, he was not going to die, and even with the noose snugly choking his throat, he did not die; neither starvation nor dangerous birds could kill him; he wanted to die anyway. The hanging became a public spectacle and the whole village read the note which outlined everything that had happened previously in the town and how the curse came to be.

9. Funkadelic
"Free Your Mind And Your Ass Will Follow" 10:07
Free Your Mind... and Your Ass Will Follow
Detroit, MI

Time does not always heal wounds, but over hundreds of years, new outlooks are developed on past situations. The mother fuckers who killed The Clowns and The Nokopones were sorry ass fucking pricks. “We deserve this curse.” But, a deal was made: Kill this Clown, and the curse will be uplifted. The first instinct involved the entire town’s people trying to beat Kenny from the noose as if he were a piñata. That shit obviously didn’t work, and the people worked together to develop something. Lloyd rolled up on his motorcycle and displayed The Ancient Artifact, it was now glowing red. Then up rolled another motorcycle; it was Norman Beaumont, and he was followed by an entire pack of motorcycles all ridden by chimpanzees wearing sunglasses. They all rode away noisily, revving their engines, riding wheelies. The posse of motorcycles rode all the way through town, down every street, throwing pies at anybody who dared stand in their way. Once they rode down every street in Sheboygan, they rolled up to Barbara’s house and rode their motorcycles through her house.

When they returned, they were dragging Patty behind by her ankle. They ripped off her panties and it revealed that she still had male genitals. A pack of rabid wolves with glowing red eyes bit her crotch the same way they bit into her suitcase.

One of the chimps tossed a pie at the miserable Kenny and it splattered in his face so hard that he dropped from the rope.

8. The 5 Stairsteps
"O-o-h Child" 3:15
O-o-h Child Single
Chicago, IL

The moment he plunged from the rope, he disappeared. Louisa was sitting in her corridors looking lonely and miserable. Finally, Kenny came back and she smiled joyfully the moment he opened the door. They hugged, kissed, and spun each other around. In the process of the spin, however, Kenny accidentally kicked over the fan. Louisa set him back down and they laughed about the fan. A colony of black and white fish entered carrying a box—it was a brand new fan! With the happiest smiles one could ever imagine, they watched joyfully as the fish plugged in the fan. The moment they turned it on, the fish returned to color, smiled and waved at them happily. They walked out the door and disappeared.

7. The Beatles
"Dig a Pony" 3:55
Let It Be
Liverpool, England

There exists a photograph that depicts an elderly couple snuggling joyfully in each other’s arms. The caption of the photo states: People ask us how we stayed together for so long. The answer is simple; we came from a generation where if something was broke, you fixed rather than throw it away. My last time out, something was broke, and I threw it away. That was the one that finally did me in. Five times in my life I had been a broken situation, and each time I threw it all away. Time did not necessarily heal those wounds; it just provided me with the realization that it was I who was the one that was actually broken. And so this realization, coupled with the unsettling notion that in all likelihood we will never see each other again, made we question whether or not I was even worth repairing. I had left that society the moment that she left. As I lay and try to rest to the comforting sounds of gunfire in the streets, I think how nice it would have been to surrender that higher chair, take the lower seat, for now, I do not even have a chair that is adjoined with anything.

6. The Doors
"Indian Summer" 2:36
Morrison Hotel
Los Angeles, CA

The town drunk of Sheboygan retrieved The Ancient Artifact and examined it. He pondered deeply for several moments and finally decided to face the cause of all of his misery. It had been years since he appeared to have any concern, and as of now, it may appear that he lost the last bit of it. Hank opened that bottle for the last time and dumped all of the contents out on his head, soaking his clothes, and guzzling one last swallow. He lit a match, and within moments he was completely up in flames. As he walked the street, slowly, with a crowd of people merely watching and a tribe of Nokopone Indians refusing to assist (and pushing people back to prevent anyone from interfering). To the average observer, the walking inferno seemed free of pain—he may or may not have been in any pain—he had been wallowing in pain for years.

The severity of the burns was reaching fatal results. Images raced back and forth as he was now transferring to the living, the dead, and a time so long ago when he once mattered. Many years ago, the drunken bum was handsome and knew true love. But, she died. She died in a car accident en route to pick him up after his car ran out of gas—and for years he had blamed himself. His burning body passed from the world of living as he now walked in flames in the land of the dead. She was there, lying next to her vehicle, face down in the street, her body still burning. Once he made it to her, he collapsed and lie face down in the street next to her. In the last bit of life each of them had, their burning hands inched over the street and touched one another, and the two burning bodies held hands while smoke smoldered into the atmosphere. They were now free to be with their soul mates. The moment their hands squeezed together, she was free—they smiled at their burning bodies and walked away happily.

5. Jimi Hendrix
"Machine Gun" 12:16
Band of Gypsys
Seattle, WA (1942)-London, England (1970)

This was a different breed of white people. Time could never heal the wounds, but time did alter the perception as to what was once considered acceptable behavior. And we flashback: The Great Chief attempted to retrieve The Ancient Artifact from the barber shop. He was underneath the porch; it was the exact same scene that initially caused the curse. This time, however, when the sheriff drew his pistol, he was struck in the face with a flying stone and he dropped to the ground. The Clowns and The Nokopones looked over to see who threw the stone and found a different version of The Clowns and The Nokopones along with a venomous demon on a motorcycle, a chimpanzee, a school of black and white fish, and a large group of white people who were born and raised in this exact land that these white people had blemished.

Those in the old days had never seen a motorcycle, never seen clothing like the ones worn by the “futuristic” white people, and never realized their act of injustice would curse an entire town (an entire nation). The modern day Sheboyganites attacked the ones they had been taught were their forefathers, the ones the statues declared were the “founders” of this town. They had guns, knives, and supernatural forces from the dead. Unleashing two centuries of fury upon the settlers, the modern day citizens destroyed everything; they shot at the police, shot at the civilians, busted the windows of the barber shop, and terrorized the entire town. And finally, they burned down the barber shop.

4. Black Sabbath
"Black Sabbath" 6:20
Black Sabbath
Birmingham, England

Back in the present, the beauty salon was still burning. A fire had erupted in Barbara’s basement, and all of the black and white memoirs of the past were going up in flames. Barbara raced downstairs to try and rescue the reminders of the past, only to find her ex-husband, Norman Beaumont, standing in the middle of the fire—unfazed by the flames. His eyes were glowing red and Barbara suspected that he was the Lord Satan himself. She turned to run, but was met by a pack of rabid wolves with glowing red eyes who stared at her and growled. They circled around her, sneering, preparing for attack. Upstairs, the house was collapsing, and sections of the first and second floors crumbled down and diminished into ash until there was no longer a house above them. Kramer the Clown, Lloyd, and a chimpanzee watched from atop the foundation. An enormous cross that was on fire hovered into the yard and crashed down upon them; and the pack of wolves finished her off for good. She was buried next to her father, the sheriff. It always sucked paying rent to her; that bitch was a terrible landlord.

Upon seeing that gigantic flaming cross hovering across the sky, Patty and Benny eagerly jumped in their car and raced out of town. It was, to say the least, a memorable vacation.

3. The Velvet Underground
"Oh! Sweet Nuthin'" 7:30
New York, NY

I had heard of other people capable of handling being thrown out in the street, and somewhere I often questioned what it was about some people that always seemed to be in a constant state of disarray; this state the author would later refer to as “bad luck” (see Street Hassle, 1978).

But, the following of “bad luck” is the displacement of a soul that has misguided into an unknown realm that strayed off course on what was supposed to be destiny. That straying outside one’s own natural element will ultimately lead to dissonance and the tortured soul displaced into a specious environment creates disillusionment and contentment affiliated with bad luck. In the end, it will be a mutual hatred, and the said environment will eventually take everything and throw the subject right out into the street. The displacement of a diverted soul settling somewhere in which he/she does not belong is the cause of every curse.

2. Led Zeppelin
"That's the Way" 5:38
London, England

One morning I awoke to find a chair in my bedroom. It was a chair that I had never seen before, and I have no clue how it got there. Somebody had left a post-it note attached to the chair. It read, “She’s broken too. Hell, Worsel, what the hell can you expect at this juncture in your life? Time can’t heal everything; it can only alter your realizations. She’s broken Worsel; invite her to come sit with you.”

There had been several miracles in my life, and it appears now that whatever chaotic juxtaposes plaguing my universe now knew my name. I wasn’t even sure if I wanted anybody sitting in this chair, but I certainly wasn’t going to sit in it. But, it didn’t require much time to alter that realization as well. Who was I kidding? The only thing that I wanted was for somebody to sit in this chair.

That’s when I decided that all that really mattered to me was for somebody to occupy this seat. So, I left. I left all of my belongings, everything I owned, all that I knew, because I officially decided this chair was far more important than any material object that I possessed; and it was definitely far more important than that crappy job that supposedly defined my life. I walked down those steps and entered the realm of gunshots. It had been a long time since I faced society, but I knew she wasn’t here. I walked, many miles, down highways and boulevards, carrying a chair—on a quest to find somebody to sit next to me.

Out there, somewhere, was a place called my natural element, the place I belonged, and that place had always appeared in my dreams—it was a placed called home that had been lost long ago. And there in that lost world, I would find my place that had been lost, and a person to occupy this chair.

#1. The Stooges
"Dirt" 7:00
Fun House
Ann Arbor, MI

It wasn’t the best looking place in the world, but something told me to go in there. There was an odd suspicion that it might be here. Whoever would have guessed to look here? But, this is the sort of place where broken people seem to spend their evenings. The moment I entered, everybody mysteriously got up and left and I awkwardly approached carrying a chair.

“What’s with the chair,” she asked.

“Nobody has ever sat in it.”

“Why don’t you sit in it?”

“Because I am boycotting this chair. It’s not for me to sit in. I feel it may be broken.”

“How long have you been carrying it?”

“Forever. I come from a town that is cursed.”

“Where’s that?”

“Sheboygan, Wisconsin. Have you ever been there?”

“I’ve never even heard of it.”

“Well, it’s cursed. The place pretty much sucks; it took a lot of me. In fact, it broke my chair.”

“It doesn’t look broken.”

“Not this chair, this is a new chair. Somebody gave it to me.”

“Somebody just gave you a fucking chair? That chair?” She looked a bit irate.

“Yes. This chair.”

“Who gave it to you?”

“I don’t know. I just woke up one morning and it mysteriously appeared in my room.” There was an awkward silence as she stood there staring at me and staring at the chair. Finally, she muffled laughter, why ever she tried to hold back was unknown. I laughed. She smiled, and soon we both laughed.

I didn’t really know what she was doing there, nor did I know what I was doing either. But, I had never known what I was doing. I had no idea what this place even was. It was suddenly in a desolate location and there wasn’t anything but a white nothingness outside.

This place did not even sell anything or offer any services. They had tables though, various seats—it looked like a restaurant, but it wasn’t a restaurant I don’t think. There was a woman standing in the back wearing a waitress uniform, but she wasn’t working. Some random man with a beard was seated at another table reading the paper and drinking a cup of coffee. In the back corner was a venomous creature sitting at a table with a chimpanzee—the chimp slid over a pack of cigarettes and the venomous biker creature lit one.

I looked around. The chimpanzee turned around and the two of them peered at me. The man in the corner disappeared—somehow he was outside walking away. The woman in the waitress uniform emerged from the back with a plate; she ran out the door chasing after the guy. I looked at her, and she looked at me. I had seen this place in a dream before, and it seemed that I had previously seen her in a different dream altogether. We both stared at the chair deciding what to do with it.

END CREDITS: Golden Earring
"As Long As The Wind Blows"  5:20
Golden Earring
The Hague, Netherlands

Written, Designed, and Music Compiled by Tony J. Neal

None of the original songs were ever intended to be used in this type of format.
Descriptions in no way shape or form intended to be a truthful reflection or interpretation of the song or the artist in reference.
All characters and themes completely fictitious and any similarities to actual people living or deceased are coincidental.

Band info and images provided by rateyourmusic (My copy of Black Sabbath Paranoid reads 1971)
Playlists created on 8tracks
Lyrics to Big Tree, Blue Sea by Golden Earring

Bottom Image by: http://riseabovecebu.wordpress.com/tag/cleft-pallet/
Top Image by: http://www.ecodesignz.com/page/ED/PROD/products/ED-02/



  1. Although I sometimes can't agree with you, it's really interesting what are you doing here;d i absolutely love your blog. keep it up! ;>

    1. Thank you for reading and enjoying despite not agreeing with everything. Just curious, what aspects can't you agree with? Is it the songs or the perspective contained in the text?

      PS- I think you are an excellent artist!


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