Part 1: Pre-Planned Destination on the Outskirts of Heredity
Part 2: Gluten Free Nation
Part 3: Handling Success
Part 4: The Pitchfork Brigade
Part 5: Our Corporate Sponsored Panel of Experts
Part 6: No Future
Part II: Gluten Free Nation
Press play on the image below to hear this selection of songs in this exact order.
125. Cut Copy
"Feel The Love" 4:28
In Ghost Colours
Melbourne, VIC, Australia
College provided a fresh spark and a period of enjoyment. Wilson was no longer scrutinized by his professors and actually challenged. In the process, he made new friends—people he could actually relate to. It turned out there were another core of misfits with similar lifestyles as he—and they actually had support from their families.
124. TV On The Radio
"Shout Me Out" 4:16
New York, NY
Even though Wilson did find a set of friends and had an active social life, he still was not overly welcomed in many other circles. This time around though, his social circle was among the most admired. The college was not a university with a devout sports program and the mainstream business students were few. It was a school that professed artistic creativity and encouraged imaginative concepts.
123. The Gaslight Anthem
"Great Expectations" 3:05
The '59 Sound
New Brunswick, NJ
Expectations for a brighter future soon rose to paramount levels as Brandon immediately embraced his new friends. They enlisted innovative ideas and each member provided exactly what the other needed. All of them collaborated to make something uniquely brilliant and special.
122. Blitzen Trapper
"Sleepytime In The Western World" 3:30
What began as a group project for a classroom assignment evolved into blissful madness. Brandon was able to channel his creative passion in an elegantly written film idea. His new group of friends all contributed with their own talents; Colin was a technical genius, Andi provided her film crew and brilliance, and the theater and drama class provided a whirlwind of up and coming talented actors and actresses. They even had a band in place to record the soundtrack.
"Hard Currency" 3:59
They would periodically have to waste some money on relatively expensive items just to be destroyed. However, they were thrifty with their spending and had the knowledge how to make cheap destruction appear extravagant with the usage of special effects. A few members of the group actually had parental support, and some decent people who were willing to invest in the future of education.
"Soldier On" 4:51
Dig Out Your Soul
The premise of the film involved a group of outcasts settling on an uninhibited island and establishing a new colony. This commune was able to successfully create new inventions, improved technology, along with a wide array of other forms of entertainment useful to the rest of the globe, and the newly discovered nation flourished. In the midst of all of this was a parody of many facets in common society.
"Man-Sized Wreath" 2:33
Among the numerous aspects surrounding the film depicting the rise of a new nation was the newscasts on this nation’s TV channels. They were permitted to use foul language, indulge in obscenities, feature outrageous headlines, and the color commentaries were intentionally humorous with their campaigns for or against a variety of popular topics.
118. Primal Scream
"The Glory Of Love" 3:11
Brandon and Courtney miraculously reunited at this school. She was attending the same school, but for different reasons. This time, their relationship was permitted to blossom because all of those who previously opposed resided in another state. However, they still never evolved into that love affair that some may have anticipated. Also, they did not see each other quite as regularly and actually lived miles apart rather than two blocks away. They saw each other just enough remain in each other’s periodic thoughts.
117. The Dandy Warhols
"The Legend of the Last of the Outlaw Truckers AKA The Ballad" 3:44
...Earth to The Dandy Warhols...
Also featured in the film was a random selection of public service announcements. These PSA’s contradicted the typical mainstream PSA’s and were as funny as they were provocative. Among them included the safety of marijuana usage, encouraging people NOT to pay taxes, and intentionally cheesy looking people dressed in poorly designed costumes encouraging aberrational behavior with the usage of silly voices.
116. Vordul Mega
"Broken Halo" 4:33
New York, NY
The most difficult portion of the film was to be the film’s climax. In the end, the commune was completely destroyed by the U.S. military; this nation did not even have a military. But, the U.S. did not approve of their public service announcements, or their trade policy, so they bombed the entire island.
115. Alec Empire
"On Fire" 4:30
The Golden Foretaste of Heaven
At times, it seemed as if there were numerous obstacles being place in order to prevent the film from completion. Not only were there technical difficulties and inclement weather at inopportune times, but there seemed to be life threatening events taking place as well. One explosion stunt went awry and the fire causes substantial damages that nearly bankrupted the project; another saw the crew hi-jacked at gunpoint and the equipment stolen. However, that fueled another war and the perpetrators were remembered and vengeance was unleashed. One particular investor had ties with a group that was never to be wronged.
"Soul Of A Man" 2:36
Los Angeles, CA
The film satirically attacked people consuming gluten-free diets. All forms of oppression delegated towards those in common society were applied to people with gluten-free diets with the intentions on making all forms of discrimination appear foolish. Racial issues were applied to people with gluten-free diets, stereotypes, and people with gluten-free diets were essentially blamed for everything.
113. Black Francis
"I Sent Away" 2:04
Boston, MA/Portland, OR
Public Service Announcement: This holiday season, please refrain from asking stupid questions. The “there’s no such thing as a stupid question” only applies in classroom settings. Employees and other associates, as well as other patrons will grow increasingly annoyed with you for holding up the lines with a rash of idiotic questions. This is especially true to those on gluten-free diets. When dining out with family members, do not obstruct the server’s progress by asking which items on the menu are gluten-free. Since you are the one who invented this so-called allergy, it is your responsibility to research what foods are gluten-free your damn self… because there isn’t a single server, bartender, or store associate who even remotely gives a flying fuck.
112. Crystal Castles
"Magic Spells" 6:07
Toronto, ON, Canada
Dictionary Entry: Gluten-free Diet—fabricated concept suggesting the causes of one’s sheer stupidity is the result of some molecular element in, of all shit, mother fucking wheat. Symptoms of suffering from gluten allergies include obesity, chronic asking of stupid questions, whininess, lack of tipping, and attempting to garner attention by means of seeking sympathy hoping others will feel sorry for you.
111. Of Montreal
"St. Exquisite's Confessions" 4:35
I got news for you mother fuckers—it said in the Bible that God made the wheat grow… and there’s all sorts of references to eating bread. Shit, man, bread is the body of Christ. Being allergic to gluten means that you are allergic to Jesus; and people allergic to gluten must be possessed by Satan. Therefore, the government, and the church of this free nation hereby deemed that it is unlawful for people with gluten allergies to receive equal marriage rights. A young woman approaches the altar and asks if any of the communions are gluten-free… the priest has a psychotic reaction and the church caught on fire.
110. The Raconteurs
"Salute Your Solution" 3:00
Consolers of the Lonely
The island imposed sanctions on the U.S. because too many people were on gluten-free diets. They stated that the U.S. had no right to impose an Embargo Act on anybody until they adopted a more democratic approach to gluten. The U.S. was the one nation that had no right to govern any other nation, drop missiles, or have military occupancy anywhere. In turn, the U.S., which claimed it had the right to have a diplomat station on the island, referred to the island as terrorists and claimed their sanctions and unwillingness to trade was strictly because they were attempting to cripple the United States’ economy. The Island countered stating they were crippling numerous economies, and suggested that the gluten free diets caused a dependency on others; that they should be able to sustain themselves without constantly asking for handouts; another nation’s affairs should not have any effect on a self-proclaimed independent nation. Furthermore, this island did not even have currency. The U.S. dropped bombs on them anyway—it was a threat to their way of life.
109. The Henry Clay People
"Something In the Water" 3:59
For Cheap or for Free
Los Angeles, CA
The first human being is believed to have originated in 14,839 BC, and some believe his name was Pedro or Adam, or who the fuck knows. 15,000 years later, back in 2004, one of them discovered what is now known as a gluten free diet.
Harold Evanston, a farmer in some shit town in Nebraska was struck by a cattle stamped and trampled. His grandson, Little Timmy Buckner, witness the debacle. “Grandpa!” he yelled from atop the ledge as he raced to down to see if Grandpa was OK. Sadly, he wasn’t OK. He clutched Little Timmy by the shirt and in his last dying breath, looked Timmy in the eye and gasped, “The Wheat. The Wheat,” and then died. Unsure what Grandpa met by this, Little Timmy went into the field to study the wheat. In his studies, Little Timmy discovered something within the wheat called Gluten; he assumed it was the gluten in the wheat that had caused the cattle stampede.
108. Thao Nguyen
We Brave Bee Stings and All
Larry Gustafson from Provo, Utah drank an entire bottle of cheap shitty grain alcohol every single day. Each morning, he woke up feeling ill and could not figure out what the problem was. One evening, he fell asleep without consuming any grain alcohol and woke up feeling refreshed. Larry concluded that it must have been the grain in the alcohol that was making him ill, and it had nothing to do with the alcohol itself or the fact that it cost $2.86 for an entire bottle of the shit.
Upon hearing about the resurgence in Larry’s health, his good friend, Rico Anderson, also switched to a gluten free diet as well. Unfortunately, Rico was bitten by a poisonous Death Adder that mysteriously showed up in his kitchen and sadly passed away.
107. Parts & Labor
"Nowheres Nigh" 4:36
New York, NY
Throughout all the bullshit, the film was finally completed. It was a painstaking prcess in which some members were even arrested for trespassing (the remote land in which they were filming the island scenes were purchased by an Arby’s franchise). But, they persevered, they did the impossible, and once it all was finished, that was a cause for celebration.
106. We Are Scientists
"After Hours" 3:54
Brain Thrust Mastery
Los Angeles, CA/New York, NY
Obviously, there was controversy surrounding the film. In contained elements that would offend American imperialists, religious advocates, and possibly those on gluten-free diets if they misinterpreted the meaning of the film. On the other hand, it was a low budget masterpiece that was outrageous enough to make an impact—it fell under the category of “something original” and was not simply re-hashing old ideas for sequel #6.
105. The Black Keys
"Remember When (Side A)" 3:22
Attack & Release
Gluten-Free Nation was entered in the local film festival and stood out with the most awards. The film crew was invited to more prominent film festivals and was featured alongside some of the top independent film makers in the world. It was shown in one of the most prestigious film festival in the world, in a city outside the U.S., and miraculously took home the top prize awarded for best picture.
104. Lil Wayne
"Let The Beat Build" 5:09
Tha Carter III
New Orleans, LA/Miami Beach, FL
The detractors were proven wrong. Too many people claimed that this was an unrealistic ambition, and but a delusional dream. Brandon Kindle did not even notify his parents of the creation. There was some temptation to prove a point, but instead, he never even spoke of it. He knew his grandfather would despise the film, but Brandon was perfectly content with that… he was sadly viewed as part of the problem the film was rebelling against. His opinions, nor any other member of his family’s opinions no longer mattered.
After winning such a prestigious award, the film was distributed by a major label and scheduled a nationwide release date in the U.S. They received a contract and reached a settlement on how to properly divide the earnings. The amount they received upfront was marginal, and their compensation depended on how well the film grossed at the Box Office. Just before it was released, however, protestors who had never even seen the film picketed theaters attempting to discourage viewers from watching this terrorist Satanic filth that oppressed those with gluten-free diets.
102. The Moondoggies
"Bogachiel Rain Blues" 4:31
Don't Be a Stranger
Despite criticism from the Christian conservative right, who claimed they were utilizing free speech by protesting the film (which should have no freedom of speech), Gluten Free Nation received immense critical acclaim prior to being released. The reviewers raved about its complexity, calling it genius, original, and exactly what the film industry needed. The movie received numerous 5-star reviews, two thumbs up, and some even rated it as the best picture of the year.
101. School of Language
"Rockist, Part 4" 5:31
Sea From Shore
All things considered, it was a fairly big hit at the box office. While it did not gross as much as Part IV of the latest Superhero movie, for an independent film, it fared well… jumping into the top 10 spot for a couple of weeks. The initial box office dividends did not make anybody involved overnight millionaires, but they were slated to receive a portion of the DVD sales with more jobs awaiting. Money was of no concern anyway. The important thing was that Unetiquette Productions was officially a name, the foot was in the door, and huge opportunities were in store for the future.
Top Image by: Liberal Rev
Bottom Image by: Lyn Gardner