The Top 50 Songs of 1978

The Best of 1978 + Crash Course
Part 1: Grave Diggers Love Deadly Bus Drivers
Part 2: The Disturbance Beneath
Part 3: Poor Planetary Disposition
Part 4: The Mysterious Obituary
Part 5: The Indestructible Distress Signal of Planet Placidity
Part 6: 26 Years Ago In the History of The Universe

Part V: The Indestructible Distress Signal of Planet Placidity

Press play on the image below to hear this selection of songs in this exact order.

50. The Adverts
"Bombsite Boy"  3:46
Crossing the Red Sea With the Adverts
London, England

Deep beneath the surface dwells the malagrants- the primary population in the world known as The Bottom. The bottom of the Earth is cold dark desolated miserable and full of despair. Nobody belongs here. Nobody ever wanted to come. Quickly, without warning, the tortured souls of despair suddenly found they had hit bottom. The malagrants. They had built a sign: Welcome to Rock Bottom. In the bottom, there is only one goal: To get out. Unfortunately, many have lost hope. The map reads:

The Top
The Sky
The Surface
The Descent
The Underground
The Plunge
The Bottom
                 You are Here____________________________________________

49. Talking Heads
"Thank You For Sending Me An Angel"  2:12
More Songs About Buildings And Food
New York, NY

View from below: There is a circular cylinder tunnel erected from the bottom to the top. Beneath, the bricks are black; red letters painted on the black brick wall: THIS IS ROCK BOTTOM. Looking up into the cylinder, the bricks progressively lighten in color until the tunnel ends. THE TOP. For years, this was the light at the end of the tunnel—the perceived goal. Master planning the ascent from the black depths of Rock Bottom to the gorgeous green pastures of The Top was a daily ritual. Suddenly appeared a black circle in the sky and a circle of buzzards surrounding the black figure. The signs of the symptoms await.

48. Cheap Trick
"Surrender"  4:14
Heaven Tonight
Chicago, IL

He seemed to have fallen in a trance. Brandon defied all warnings, all advice advised by his parents who had been acting weird. Brandon bestowed Brenda and before too long they were being married. It was an unplanned weekday—one day it just happened out of the blue. They met for coffee; he dressed casual; she wore bridal attire. Somehow there were hundreds of people on hand for the ceremony, even though none of them were invited; many had never even been seen before—until now. The elegantly dressed audience smiled, cheered, cried. Fidel, one man in a suit with a pink bowtie and thick mustache, slick black graying hair, smiled, clapped after each photo. Hundreds of photos were taken—flashing bulbs amidst cheers. Each photo was black and white—she looked exactly as she did in the obituary 26 years ago. His images faded, he never smiled. He looked exactly like a collection of various obituaries from the past century.

47. Sweet
"Love Is Like Oxygen"  3:48
Level Headed
Harefield, England

They set sail on a cruise ship. The top deck decorated for an elegant ball—a banquet. Much dancing. Much happiness. Brenda & Brandon stood perched on the front deck, facing the ocean, a sun, and a black circle in the sky. The cruise ship illuminated bright beautiful colors; Brenda & Brandon black & white. She stood facing him, staring, smiling eerily. He looked off in the distance, off to the side, yet facing the camera—she faced him, the side of his face, not the camera. He did not smile, seeming distraught daunting despair. Their looks never changed, only blinking of the eyes. Same facial features. Same blank expression. Same eerie smile. The ship was sinking. Water poured onto the deck. The same faces unchanged.

46. Olivia Byington
"Jardim de Infância"  3:35
Corra o Risco
Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

The slow descent beneath the bottom by boat. Brandon & Brenda remained in the same position underneath the water as the boat continued sinking. She smiled eerily; he looked eerier, gazing at the wedding guests snapping photos. He turned to her and she kissed him. She was happy this time. According to the obituary, they were all happy, smiling, snapping photos.

On the bottom of the ocean was a gigantic crater—in the exact same shape as the ship. The ship fit perfectly sunk into the hole and vanished.

Flashes from the flashbulbs. The cameras beneath the bottom. To the shore, the black circle, the visible object in the horizon over the ocean. The tide ripped white waves, then soothingly calmed just before reaching shore. Black and white photos washed onto the beach. The bride. The groom. Each individual member of the wedding party. The obituary 26 years ago.

Buzzards investigated the beach. There. A black and white photo of the ship. The captain of the ship. This was the happiest day of his life. A buzzard scooped the photograph within its beak and they all flew away…towering high in the sky.

45. Joy Division
"Warsaw"  2:26
An Ideal for Living
Manchester, England

The boat hit bottom. Guns blasted from The Rock and Roll Bus Machine. Green scale reptilian aliens blasted bullets at Diaglo now blackened. Black Diaglo fired back. He’s black now…HOLD YOUR FIRE! But, black Diaglo blasted back, busting bus windows because bus windows aren’t blatantly built bulletproof. He raced after The Rock and Roll Bus Machine on foot. The bus got away.

44. X-Ray Spex
"Obsessed With You"  2:27
Germfree Adolescents
London, England

The balance had been disrupted causing disturbing distinction dissecting destruction. Howard had been a model employee. At the K-Mart cafeteria, he shook the cup of his fountain soda and blasted Heidi seated across the room in the face with it. She retorted by launching her frozen cherry Freezee at Howard, who ducked—hitting Gunther. Gunther smeared the contents of his Pete’s Pride pork fritter into Heidi’s face. Susan slammed her fist on the table splattering packets of mustard onto Gunther. Edith cracked a tray over his head. Holly stormed in from Layaway, leaped off the condiments table, and launched pickled relish into Elizabeth. The war would last 26 years.

43. Slaughter and the Dogs
"Victims of the Vampire"  2:55
Do It Dog Style
Manchester, England

Plug in the guitars! Crank up the amps! Floor the pedal! The Rock and Roll Bus Machine sped down the highway- busting down barricades, blowing bullets beneath burning buildings and bloody brutal police. The war raged in the K-Mart cafeteria. The bus blasted through the parking lot. The Rock and Roll Bus Machine crashed through the brick walls, destroying K-Mart’s cafeteria.

42. Ace Frehley
"New York Groove"  3:03
Ace Frehley
New York, NY

All participants marched down the street, strutting, swaggering, black circle entrenched in the sky over the shady trees in which the participants walked under. Black sunglasses adorned black suits and K-Mart smocks. Dancing happily, clapping hands, the band played behind them as they paraded the neighborhood. They sang out in unison, even the shiny smiley mustard stained mascot heads… “I’m back, back in the New York groove.”

41. Teenage Jesus & the Jerks
"I Woke Up Dreaming"  3:10
No New York
New York, NY

71% of the past is best assumed forgotten. There are those who believe love does not exist. It does exist, love is a natural human emotion and the most powerful one at that. People experience love for a multitude of others. Just, the hippies and the Christians gave it a bad name. Those who do not feel love deny that it exists. It’s a false pretension, assuming their own personal feelings are universal. One has never denied the existence of coleslaw or Journey—even though those products have failed to reach certain individuals as it has the multitude of others. 71% of the forgotten past is love related. Those who do not experience love have fewer regrets.

40. The Flys
"Waikiki Beach Refugees"  3:46
Waikiki Beach Refugees
Coventry, England

The black circle orbited in the sky. The fear that Earth & Planet Placidity were going to collide had been temporarily offset by the movements it made. Planet Placidity soared across the Earth sky; residents noticed swift grace—the black circle could possibly be something else. The tides had been affected. The blue planet was observed as if from a passing vehicle.

39. Queen
"Fat Bottomed Girls"  4:17
London, England

Two people on Earth knew of Planet Placidity. A crowd of spectators were gazing at the sky, fear, sharing theories of its origination. Diaglo and Gunther moved to the front of the pack, sang in unison, disrupting the theory. One lone guitar player, one street, one unmanned bicycle peddling the unoccupied street. Guitar #2 was heavy; drums, bass; the bicycle floated up into the sky—out of view—towards the circle. The crowd gazed to where the bicycle vanished. The song rolled, Diaglo, Gunther… from behind, the unmanned bicycle re-appeared, peddling down the street. This time, behind a pack of bicycles, occupied by Planet Placidity people; people like Gunther, people like Diaglo—fat bitches with mascot heads on bikes.

38. Plastic People Of The Universe
"Toxika"  4:00
Egon Bondy's Happy Hearts Club Banned
Praha, Czech Republic

Debris and dust smoldered from the crashed K-Mart that was still burning. K-Mart catastrophe was seen as a tragedy. Ground Zero blue light special saw no survivors. Photographs floating around with ash and smoke—Polaroid’s. They could be used as evidence. Each photograph. Each individual, standing in front of a wall, smiling. Each had been dead for 26 years. Other photos depicted the war, the battles, the chaos in the K-Mart cafeteria. The battle raged for 26 years, and just ended yesterday.

37. The Rolling Stones
"Beast of Burden"  4:26
Some Girls
London, England

The mysterious death of Howard The King K-Mart Cashier left the world in disarray. How many times had it been? He died 26 years ago, a few weeks ago, yesterday. Caskets were displaced and he alone offset both balances. Howard’s chief concern concerned Connie the Cafeteria Cashier. He fell in love with her 26 years ago, and some believe that started the 26 year war. Now alone, in a romantic garden, both wearing smocks, Howard confessed his love and questioned her rejection. 71% of misery the past 26 years involved Connie rejecting Howard.

36. Chet Atkins & Les Paul
"Brazil"  2:41
CA: Luttrell, TN (1924)-Nashville, TN (2001); LP: Waukesha, WI (1915)-White Plains, NY (2009)

She approached Diaglo. She looked like a mutated mascot. Her smiling mascot head shimmering off balance, turned sideways. Confused Diaglo put hands on her face and realized the instability of her facial features. He removed the mascot head costume revealing the imposter. It was a lovely woman with a brown paper bag over her head. The crowd cheered. They clapped. Took photos. It was the wedding party, the same man with the mustache, smiling sweetly, clapping his hands. Also present was the captain of the ship. Diaglo disappeared, then returned…with a large bag over his mascot head. Members of the wedding party smiled, wept, the ship’s captain clapped his hands. Camera flashed rapidly.

35. Bob Dylan
"New Pony"  4:31
Street Legal
Duluth, MN/Malibu, CA

As the black circle drew nearer, black buzzards became more prominent. The skies were frequently filled with flying buzzards. Flocks of buzzards perched on the telephone wires, along the streets, in the yard, walking the sidewalk, and landing on the tin roof. The citizens grouped together gazing, observing, questioning, “how much longer?” The black buzzards could speak, play guitar, but never spoke to the ordinary citizens—they were incapable of comprehending the knowledge that had been instilled upon them.

34. Bruce Springsteen
"Something in the Night"  5:12
Darkness on the Edge of Town
Freehold, NJ

One swooping orbit of the Earth, a sun, a moon, an approaching black circle, a sky, oceans, a surface, mountains, cities, states, nations, a statue of some fellow named Norman, a bottom, an obituary, a war…one outdoor seating patio. One goal in the Grand Scheme of Things. She was a standout—even at this age. She was probably even more of a standout 26 years ago. You could tell she was older. Easier to notice was she was still beautiful, unblemished, unlike the others. She was far from ordinary. He may have been a bit more ordinary. Not that there was anything wrong with him, he just did not stand out like she did. She chose him. He obviously took impeccable care of her, he sat beside her, he did everything to ensure her happiness, preserve her beauty. They weren’t worried about anything. He was happy—he loved her. She loved him back, and I think she really did. 71% of the past is fond memories. He was left-handed, she was right-handed. They represent the overall goal of life. Unfortunately, there are not enough stand out individuals nor enough left-handers; they all became the same.

33. Sham 69
"Borstal Breakout"  2:13
Tell Us the Truth
Hersham, England

Planet Placidity soared across the sky—the black circle gaining speed. As if dashed across the top, the surface sailed, the street cracked, and Maryland Avenue opened wide. Rising from the bottom, the malagrants were finally freed. They broke out from the bottom, their escape had finally set them free from the constricting constraints wrongfully ravaging resentment residing on Rock Bottom. They ran down the street, ran partially for joy, ran partially from the miserable life they had just walked from never to return.

32. Gerry Rafferty
"Baker Street"  6:11
City to City
Paisley, England (1947)-Bournemouth, England (2011)

71% was realized; 71% was forgotten; 71% was contemplated; 71% was fabricated. The mailman examined the cards—he need only beat a pair of kings. He revealed his hand, the ace of spades, the ace of clubs, the 8 of spades, the 8 of clubs, and the tarot card of The Devil. Rather than collect, he abandoned the stash of cash, his cash, and walked. An unassisted bicycle peddled next to him. It was a nice day, and I believe it was the nicest day in the history of the universe. People promenaded pleasantly performing Planet Placidity’s puzzling psychological social serenity. The citizens of Earth rode bikes, walked, talked, smiled. The mailman walked Lake Shore Drive and once again entered 4646…and exited onto a different porch. He was home. HOME! It was 26 years ago. 26 YEARS AGO! He sat on the porch and for the first time observe a world that seemed fruitful. It was the nicest day ev-errr!!! A festival—something about a saxophone and a guitar solo.

31. Paul McCartney & Wings
"With a Little Luck"  5:47
London Town
Liverpool, England

How long had he hated all of them? The entire human race. Days spent hoping the world would rightfully end—the fate they deserved. On whole, the population was wretched—ugly—all of them. Then came the girl in the green dress. She looked beautiful, possibly carefree. He had hated her too. Something in the sunshine. He felt sorry for her. He felt remorse for having hated her. As an individual she was comprised of charming characteristics. He wished her happiness.

And the dog walked by. Once upon a time, it was an ugly dog; but it was a cute dog. It couldn’t help that it was a dog. He wanted the dog happy too. And on that sidewalk, suddenly seemingly seemed sympathetic…they were just ants. They were born ants with no control or no choice—the ants should be happy too. That bitch across the street wasn’t a bitch anymore. That other girl was jogging, it made her feel better. And, he smiled at nothing. All they ever wanted was to feel happiness and joy, and he had hated all of them—for no reason whatsoever. But, not at this moment. As individuals, they were spectacular. When did everything become so distraught? He held back weeping and finally wished to be a part of them, a part of their society he had neglected, a part of their world he had despised.

30. Little River Band
"Reminiscing"  4:15
Sleeper Catcher
Melbourne, Australia

Green grass and green geraniums grew gergantually gallowing glistfully glistening gently gollidible goundegleath glowing snow. The band played, and they were absolutely gallisticual! Soothing and goothing—but seemingly performing for no one. Underneath the shade, Hal unwrapped a blanket and spread it out…he sat down with Dowetta. Same process, some feet away, Diaglo did the same, and sat in the shade with some slut with a brown bag over her head. Howard and the cafeteria cashier sat in the shade. Two buzzards nuzzled beaks with hearts floating in the sky. Carl and Sandy joined. The girl in the green dress. And the bride, Brenda, with her Brandon, in black and white. And look over there, there on the bench—it’s the Captain and the man with the mustache! They waved at the people on shady blankets, who all stopped and waved back in the unison. After the performance, the band waved also…the Captain clapped, the man with the mustache clapped.

29. Television
"Carried Away"  5:11
New York, NY

And all of their faults seemed to have a purpose. The girl who walked barefooted on the sidewalk; those people you thought less of because they hugged each other on the street corner. They didn’t look like you—therefore they did not exist. She just wanted to look cute, and for a moment she did. She was happy when she bought that green dress—it was a great day, a meaningful purchase that was sure to constitute prosperity. And she had such charm, a nice smile, a nice personality, and she laughed at things she found funny…a sign of joy, some things in this world amused her. Because she could experience joy, you hated her. You hated her because she wanted to clean the bathroom when you didn’t. She wanted to wash the sink and therefore you overlooked all other characteristics and hated everything about her…referred to her as horrible names just because she wanted to kitchen tidy.

And that girl who like you. She liked you and you rejected her. You liked her too, but you rejected her anyway. Coldly. Perhaps it was because you had been rejected—it was an act of revenge rejection—you wanted her to feel the rejection that had been instilled upon you by a different woman—a cycle that spins without control. Or, you were scared to like her. There were 8,256 reasons for this.

28. Chrome
"All Data Lost"  3:26
Alien Soundtracks
San Francisco, CA

As it grew closer, the black planet seeming stood still. On the bottom of the Ocean, the sunken ship remerged from its final resting place and slowly began to rise. One red butterfly fled the black planet and onto the blue planet. It hovered still, seemingly motionless in the air, hovering hummingbird style over a green geranium. The moment it landed, the geranium changed pigmentations, green to crimson; Planet Placidity transformed from black to crimson. The black circle was now a crimson circle with black stripes, black spots, and the crimson sky meshed with the blue sky. The population of Planet Placidity, all their smiley mascot heads, observed the Earth from the observation deck behind the barricade…millions of them.

27. Judas Priest
"Beyond the Realms of Death"  6:54
Stained Class
Birmingham, England

There exist 8,256 reasons why we hate the 8,256 reasons. Each individual reason may have up to 8,256 reasons as well. In all there could be over 65 million aspects existing in the world why one certain individual may fear falling in love with another individual…even though they may have tested over 90% compatible in the registry of love and relationships. Due to all of the disturbances involving the 8,256 reasons of hatred and despair, some individuals reject all feelings of complacency and become overcome with angst. When this occurs, the primary goal consists of fighting 8,256 battles with 8,256 reasons and the end result is rarely 8,256 victories.

Some of the cases result in 8,256 losses, which in turn produces 8,256 different other battles, with each of them containing 8,256 sub-sectors that produce turmoil. In all, certain individuals may have up to 65 million aspects of the world creating an obstacle to the initial goal of joy and happiness. After this has become apparent, many of these cases will abandon hope and wish to withdrawal completely from the 8,256 reasons—this is a declaration of surrender. However, even upon surrendering, the 8,256 reasons of hostility remain relentless—these aspects no know boundaries. Many of these cases indicate there is only one way out…death. Sickened with 8,256 relentless despairs, they deem the world unfit for living in, and leave the place the only way they know how.

However, there is also a second way out… a miracle.

26. The Parasites Of The Western World
"Funeral For A Mouse"  7:43
The Parasites Of The Western World
Portland, OR

During the days of lost desolation floating aimless in outer space into unknown sectors of the universe, Planet Placidity had constructed an indestructible tower in order to send a distress signal throughout the universe. The tower was created with absolute dexterity, and, at the time, was built under desperate measures as the only means of survival. It was, by far, the most important issue concerning Planet Placidity, and they devoted their most immense skills and efforts to ensure that this tower could never be destroyed. Because, should the tower be unable to withstand unknown elements in inclement universal conditions that produced unlimited possibilities, the efforts would prove meaningless and Planet Placidity would decry extinction.

As Planet Placidity neared the horizon towards Earth’s inner atmosphere, the signals from the distress tower were still being emitted into orbit. The ship rose fully from the sea and soon was once again sailing afloat, on path to a course called ultimate destiny. The Captain, guided the ship with masterful skill, the wedding party temporarily subsided as a new mission was now more significant. The bride and groom, however, were nowhere to be found. Some claimed to have spotted each of them in various sectors of parallel existences 26 years ago.

Top Image by: http://englishrussia.com/images/ostankino_tower/0.jpg
Bottom image by: http://www.britannica.com/blogs/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/et.jpg

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