The Top 150 Songs of 1979

The Best of 1979 + Identity Theft
Chapter 1: Subject Classification
Chapter 2: The Rise of Bartleby Deacon
Chapter 3: Second Chance
Chapter 4: The Great Nation Exposed
Chapter 5: World War 49
Chapter 6: Identity Theft

Chapter I: Subject Classification

Press play on the image below to hear this selection of songs in this exact order.

150. Skids
"Calling the Tune"  4:03
Scared to Dance
Dunfermline, England

Subject A tested significantly more intelligent than Subject B. The analysis provided a list of brilliant qualities and Subject A had far more superior creative innovations than Subject B. In fact, Subject B had none. Appearance wise, Subject A outscored Subject B 250 million to none. Subject B was not considered attractive at all; most considered this person a pathetic piece of shit.

149. Tin Huey
"Slide"  2:37
Contents Dislodged During Shipment
Akron, OH

Subject B sought sympathy from those who did not have attributes required to instill blunt honest harsh hostilities upon him. He frequently took advantage of servers, cashiers, and bartenders whose occupations did not permit them to state how they sincerely felt; these people had to pretend to be considerate in his presence just to earn money. He often over-dramatized injuries to his doctor in order to receive sympathy… she was not permitted to call him a winy degenerate pussy.

148. Split Enz
"Frenzy"  3:03
Auckland, New Zealand

Supposedly all persons were created equally, and perhaps they were. However, underlying elements in the structure of society alter the natural components of all psychological aspects that comprise the self. Never in the world do persons receive an equality in which was allegedly implemented at birth. In numerous cases, subjects with lesser qualities reap more rewarding benefits than those with brilliant attributes.

147. Black Randy & The Metrosquad
"Give It Up or Turnit a Loose"  2:06
"Pass the Dust, I Think I'm Bowie."
Los Angeles, CA

Subject C tested the exact same as Subject B. In a laboratory minus material possessions wearing identical matching clothing apparel, Subject C produced the exact same test results as Subject B. This was a case in which equality was clearly established. Subject B has a prestigious managerial position at a blue-chip corporation; Subject C is a degenerate homeless alcoholic bum.

146. Art Bears
"The Winter Wheel"  3:03
Winter Songs
London, England

Subject C was simply too lazy and too stupid to go out and get a job. Subject B was equally lazy and stupid and did little work at his/her job. Both frequently bummed cigarettes from people they did not know on the streets; people with little to no interest in them. The primary difference: Subject B could afford cigarettes and bummed them from people who lived less comfortably. They viewed themselves as intelligent by taking advantage of the ability to obtain something for free, taking advantage of human kindness; nothing was actually free though, and they were the reasons for this. These subjects simply put unsuspecting strangers in a position to either speak harshly to another or relinquish something they had purchased because he/she did not feel like being confrontational. These unsuspecting people had been enjoying a pleasant day until the non-interesting stranger approached demanding free gifts for nothing in return.

145. Pink Military
"Dead Lady of Clown Town"  4:34
Buddha Waking Disney Sleeping
Liverpool, England

Although Subject A had the superior test results, Subject A’s society did not permit prosperity. Subject A was not born in an equal environment and eventually grew to despise it. Any attempt for escape led to harassment and hostility from the protectors of the unequal society. Any accidental mistake led to cheers, harsh criticism, and belittlement from Subject B. Any voyage into another dimension where brilliance was practiced led to deceitful treachery engaged by Subject C.

144. Dire Straits
"Portobello Belle"  4:30
London, England

In many aspects, Subject D did not test as highly as Subject A. However, in numerous areas, Subject D surpassed Subject A. Both possessed the ability to induce harsh hostility to Subjects B and C when needed. Subject D also had the ability to back up the harshness and unafraid to it judiciously. Subject A somewhat lacked in this area due to the unequal society.

143. Charlie Dore
"Pilot Of The Airwaves"  3:20
Where To Now
Pinner, England

Both Subjects B and C made ridiculous requests to those with superior knowledge—this was an attempt to keep more intelligent people from exposing their inadequacies. They would often attempt to instill guilt trips on any negative denials, followed with a fabricated notion of intellect that claimed this particular Subject (B or C) knew exactly what he/she was talking about and insulting degradations to those with more knowledge to deceive others that those had no idea what they were relating. Then, there was an attempt to back that claim up in order to sound impressive…usually a lie.

142. Robert Palmer
"Bad Case Of Lovin' You (Doctor, Doctor)"  3:13
Batley, England (1949)-Paris, France (2003)

Subject D will never tell a lie and never has to. Subject D does not give a flying fuck if some miserable prick becomes upset with harsh honesty. If somebody approaches Subject D with an annoyance, that Subject is subject to brutal honesty he/she may not wish to hear because, as we all know, the truth hurts. Subject A will lie occasionally in order to reduce hostility or to get out of binds implemented by the unjust protectors of the unequal society. Subjects B and C lie constantly.

141. Whitesnake
"Medicine Man"  4:00
Love Hunter
London, England

Neither Subject A nor Subject D practice manipulation in order to impress others. However, in the unequal society, nobody fucks with Subject D; people constantly attempt to victimize Subject A. In terms of monetary benefits, Subject D is far more successful than Subject A. Subject D has endured significantly fewer atrocities and altercations with the unjust protection agency have been kept to a minimum.

140. Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers
"Refugee"  3:22
Damn the Torpedoes
Gainesville, FL

Subject C has received the most frequent altercations from the unjust protection agency, but at the same time, has committed the most infractions. However, in a conducted survey, the majority of society sided with the unjust protection agency—some indicated the U.P.A. was too lenient. Subject A is a close second for most altercations with the U.P.A. The difference: in the exact same equal survey, participants sided with Subject A and concluded that the U.P.A. officers were assholes, pricks, completely fucking useless, power abusive, and had nothing better to do.

139. Scorpions
"Loving You Sunday Morning"  5:41
Hannover, Germany

Subject B is the one who is most dependent on the U.P.A. This person frequently telephones the U.P.A. and reports any violation. Furthermore, Subject B can frequently be seen conversing with members of the U.P.A., discussing virtues and complaints regarding other people. The U.P.A. officers know the Subject B by name, but does not like this person at all—the Subject B has merely established a sense of companionship where it would be impossible to delegate the harsh blunt honesty stating how the officer really felt. Subject B will discuss with others the names of individuals employed at the U.P.A. and claim they are close personal friends.

138. The Members
"Phone In Show"  4:50
At The Chelsea Nightclub
London, England

Subject E blindly believes anything. The media has molded Subject E and this Subject has modeled his/herself after what the tabloids claimed were “in” this year. As a result, Subject E tested below average in most areas—significantly lower than Subjects A’s and D’s in 96% of all aspects (most had one niche in which they tested adequately), but mixed results when compared to Subjects B and C. This person does not have the mental capacity to challenge commonly accepted beliefs, cannot comprehend complexity, does not notice contradictions within fabrications, and will not investigate further.

137. Ebba Grön
"Beväpna Er"  3:24
We're Only in It for the Drugs
Rågsved, Sweden

In general, Subject E does not possess the requirements to harshly challenge anyone—and often does not. However, Subject E will frequently direct hostility towards Subject A, who has challenged all of the commonly accepted beliefs and is not easily impressed. Subject E will claim to dislike Subject C, but will gleefully and willingly give in to their demands thinking they have committed a liberal act of goodwill.

136. Angelic Upstarts
"Small Town Small Mind"  2:26
Teenage Warning
South Shields, England

In order of preference, Subject E is least compatible with Subject A. Although they will pretend otherwise, the natural components of their compatibility chart indicates that Subject E genuinely loathes Subject C; and still pretending otherwise, many Subject E’s actually think that they are Subject A’s. Subject E has some admiration for Subject D, but fears this person and will confess inferiority. Subject E is extremely fond of Subject B and completely enamored with all of Subject B’s supposed accomplishments.

135. Véronique Sanson
"Si je Danse Pour Toi"  3:34
Boulogne-Billancourt, France

Subject E suffers from celebrity fixation. These be can be easily entertained for hours by merely sitting in front of a television watching sitcoms or reading a tabloid magazine—activities that require very little thinking and will dictate the standards for them. They become so enamored with this ordinary people who have been ordained elaborate celebrities by nobody with any credibility that they will delve into their personal lives as if they were genuinely fascinating. Of course, they find Subject B fascinating as well…even Subject C’s living on the street can impress a Subject E. Subject E will even model themselves after the celebrities they saw on the sitcoms. The end result demonstrates how Subject E is frequently seen as stupid.

134. Friction
"Kagayaki"  3:41
Crazy Dream
Tōkyō, Japan

Aside from family members and a select few friends, whenever a Subject E dies, the world on a whole is typically unchanged. A deceased Subject E can be easily replaced with another Subject E. However, some Subject E’s have given birth to children—children whose subject definition has yet to be defined. The untimely death of a Subject E can alter the effected persona—transforming a potential Subject E in a Subject A, or creating a greater sense of inequality. The Subject A then has no chance to succeed; an infected Subject B becomes a Subject C.

133. Glaxo Babies
"Stay Awake"  4:58
This Is Your Life
Bristol, England

Subjects B, C, and E will often self-proclaim to be either a subject A or D. On the other hand, Subjects A or D will never self-proclaim to be a Subject B, C, or E. Few will even admit to being a Subject B, C, or E; most relationships on Earth involve a Subject B + a Subject E. (There do exist combinations of the more than one Subject attribute, i.e. Subject A/C tweener.) Should one ever honestly inform a Subject B that he/she is, in fact, a Subject B, the Subject will deny it…cry, seek sympathy, claim the informant is wrong for even suggesting that, instill a guilt trip, fabricate a list of unimpressive accomplishments, and ultimately, call the U.P.A.

132. The Urinals
"Black Hole"  1:18
Another EP
Los Angeles, CA

Subject F does not like any of the Subjects A-E. For that matter, Subject F’s do not even like other Subject F’s. A Subject F tests positive in most aspects regarding intellect and ethics; appearance results are across the board. However, Subject F does not like crowds, does not like people, does not like talking, pointless conversation, attention, dealing with a bunch of stupid miserable cock sucking douchebags (everybody else on Earth), and has no ambition whatsoever to become a central figure. Subject F’s likes things low key, and spends a significant amount of time home alone.

131. Fischer-Z
"Acrobats"  2:41
Word Salad
London, England

Nobody would ever seriously proclaim to be a Subject F, except for a Subject F, who would never proclaim to be anything other than a Subject F. Several Subject E’s will jokingly claim to be a Subject F; most Subject A’s wish Subject E’s would become Subject F’s and shut the fuck up. Subject F’s are proud to be Subject F’s, but will never tell anybody.

130. George Harrison
"Here Comes the Moon"  4:48
George Harrison
Liverpool, England (1943)-Los Angeles, CA (2001)

Most Subjects A’s-E’s have at least one Subject F friend. Often, this is the only friend the Subject F has. However, a significantly high percentage of all subjects at least like their one Subject F friend; an equally high percentage dislikes the Subject F. Most forms of popular amusement bore the living shit out of a Subject F. Subject F is capable of accomplishing numerous tasks at work, but they never take credit for it…Subject B does.

129. The Crawdaddys
"Crawdaddy Express"  2:28
Crawdaddy Express
San Diego, CA

Subject F prefers Subject D, next would be Subject A, and the most frequently hated would be Subject C. Subject E annoys Subject F, Subject F sees through all of the bullshit of Subject B. Compatibility rarely determines the friendship with a Subject F; proximity does. They often befriend one person, and it is often a neighbor, a co-worker, or somebody they see on a regular basis. The Subject C who runs dope for the low key Subject F dealer is a possibility as well. Subject F rarely truly likes their friends though.

128. The Beach Boys
"Baby Blue"  3:18
L.A. (Light Album)
Hawthorne, CA

A Subject F will frequently be in the midst of several members from Subject B & E’s, who have never been in the presence filled entirely with Subject F’s. The most common surrounding is an environment of Subject B & E’s. Subject A hates the Subject B and E setting, who wish to be more like a Subject A environment. Subject D rarely enjoys a Subject A setting; Subject D is invitation only, but all are welcome.

127. Albert Marcœur
"La Dame qui est Assise a Côté"  4:41
Armes et Cycles
Dijon, France

Most people are not comfortable in a Subject C setting. Most people hate Subject C. However, studies have indicated that Subject B and Subject C have almost the exact same personality type. Therefore, if Subject B was merely exposed, that would person would be regarded in the same manner. Meaning: corporate business people are exactly like degenerate homeless bums. Yet, they often represent the polarization…the discrepancy between the upper and lower 1%.

126. Tuxedomoon
"Where Interests Lie"  5:11
Scream with a View
San Francisco, CA

The world had become this. For the most part, a failure. Subject B had manipulated their way towards the top and taken over. Subject E believed in everything Subject B suggested. However, Subject B was incompetent and incapable of handling complex decisions. Even though Subject B was failing miserably and gradually ruining what had already been ruined for years, they seemed boasted their accomplishments to one group but sought sympathy from the governor to help them. Even though Subject B wished to be a Subject A, Subject B continuously sought misfortune for the Subject A’s. The assets were divided between the Subject E’s who blissfully believed. There were not enough Subject D’s in the world and Subject F proved irrelevant. Very few Subject A’s enjoyed success. Nobody gave a fuck about Subject C.

There was, however, Subject G. Subject G tested more intelligently in most areas than even Subject A. But, whereas Subject A staunchly revolted against the commonly perceived accepted lifestyle, Subject G had a way of utilizing the knowledge earned. They are not quite eccentric as the Subject A’s, even though they share many of the same beliefs. Subject A would rather be Subject G, and many proclaim to be. But, because of the inequalities in society, Subject A & Subject G are not always born equal. In many cases, a Subject G will become a Subject A from constant scrutiny from the opposition.

Top Image by: http://files.abovetopsecret.com/images/member/80b56af71143.jpg
Bottom image by: http://photo-library.net/tag/people/page/2

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