2012/06/16

The Top 100 Songs of 1978

The Best of 1978 + Collision Course Distress Signal
Part 1: Grave Diggers Love Deadly Bus Drivers
Part 2: The Disturbance Beneath
Part 3: Poor Planetary Disposition
Part 4: The Mysterious Obituary
Part 5: The Indestructible Distress Signal of Planet Placidity
Part 6: 26 Years Ago In the History of The Universe

Part III: Poor Planetary Disposition


Press play on the image below to hear this selection of songs in this exact order.




100. The Who
"Who Are You"  6:22
Who Are You
London, England

Diaglo entered the fast food chain, ordered his combo meal, sat down, and ate the burger + fries value meal. His presence caused quite a stir. Upon sitting, the other patrons sang in unison- "who are you?" Nobody knew who he was or what lied underneath that mascot disguise. Through the song and dance routine, featuring a lead vocal performance by the restaurant manager, the unthinkable was realized...this was no costume. Who this happy bear really was became the ultimate mystery.

99. Rainbow
"Long Live Rock 'N' Roll"  4:25
Long Live Rock 'N' Roll
London, England

Dowetta was offered job back at the County Transit System. She declined adamantly, tearing up the application and walking out of the interview. There was a position available hauling criminals to prison. She took this position. En route to the state penitentiary, the prison was ditched in a ditch. All about the Rock and Roll Bus Machine. The shackled prison chain gang was taken to the cemetery.

98. Van Halen
"Little Dreamer"  3:23
Van Halen
Pasadena, CA

Ever since the age of four, Hal dreamed of becoming a grave digger. He would often take the shovel from the tool shed and dig unnecessary holes in the backyard. His father awoke to find a yard full of holes. Understanding the yearning passion, Hal's father simply refilled the holes with landmines. Any time a trespasser was present, Hal was able to fulfill a dream by digging and filling. Somebody to bury; another landmine.

97. Magazine
"Definitive Gaze"  4:29
Real Life
Manchester, England

People from all eras, all genres, all walks of death visited the cemetery. Some were buried here 246 years ago- others last week. During the shifts, visitors from the land beneath the surface would congregate and reminisce in the days gone by. It wasn't always pleasant. This era hated that era. Death wasn't short. Veronica died in 1866. She served everybody tea on a tray. Suzi drank tea from a bottle. Veronica busted the bottle over her head and killed her again.

96. The Boys
"Brickfield Nights"  3:19
Alternative Chartbusters
London, England

Poor planetary alignment plagued Planet Placidity from the Brickfield Galaxy, Sector 26-D. The planet's population was primarily other beings similar to Diaglo. They were all mascots, but in the mold of other various animals. They played sports for a world title and needed no mascot. Even the sexy girls looked like mascots. Disaster struck due to poor planetary alignment and the planet drifted off course. Far far away, it is considered lost- whereabouts unknown. Diaglo fled to seek help, but was unable to take the rescue mission to the location; the location had vanished.

95. 999
"Homicide"  3:43
Separates
London, England

Diaglo loaded the chamber with ammunition and set out for the assignment. He walked the streets, seemingly smiling, armed with a deadly assault weapon, gunning down victims at random. Stores, malls, the streets, Jo-Ann Fabrics, nobody was safe from the wrath of Diaglo's path. He took aim, fired...each gunshot provided a new casket for embryonic protection; job security for Hal.

94. Andrew Gold
"Thank You for Being a Friend"  4:43
All This and Heaven Too
Burbank, CA (1951)-Encino, CA (2011)

Howard assisted a customer at K-Mart. He helped retrieve a bicycle from the display rack and the customer sang to him. A plaque on the wall revealed that Howard was employee of the month and constantly displayed outstanding customer service. The love affair was mutual. Howard truly K-Mart customers and above and beyond the call of duty to make all of them happy.

93. Maarit
"Laakson Lilja"  3:25
Siivet Saan
Helsinki, Finland

The unassisted bicycle peddled the main roads. When the bicycle approached a female riding her bike, the unassisted bicycle would ride along beside her, momentarily, then speed away. The lovely ladies laughed merrily, smiling, waving to the bicycle as it fled into the distance. The bicycle could frequently be seen riding wheelies or performing acrobatic 360 leaps. It approached a group of women with a basket full of ice cream cones; ice cream cones neatly aligned on the steel frame. Free ice cream for everyone.

92. Skiantos
"Io Sono Uno Skianto"  3:23
Mono Tono
Bologna, Italy

There was no rhyme or reason to the genocide. to avoid the colossal ethnic cleansing, the sacrificial adopted a set of rules and regulations to avoid the catastrophe. All of these attempts failed as bodies piled higher than pillars or wires. A sense of unity indistinguishable to the heavens, undistinguishing distinguishable distinctions, many of them mistakenly became the same person. The hopefuls were given hope, but atmospheric balance plunged to its demise.

91. DMZ
"Do Not Enter"  2:13
DMZ
Boston, MA

The mailman gave up any notion to maintain an ordinary existence. He stayed out all night, rolling dice and guzzling tin cans of Pabst Blue Ribbon. In order to fulfill a life of pleasure, mailman Paul abandoned all forms of meaningful commitments which he deemed meaningless. Meaning: the next day, he did not exist.

90. Scritti Politti
"Skank Bloc Bologna"  5:53
Skank Bloc Bologna (Single)
London, England

The embryo must be destroyed. Before the egg called Planet Earth is hatched, the seed should be destroyed. The firing of a flare failed to follow fashionable fate, further following failed functions founded by fore fathers hounded for incompetence. Other acts of incompetence included incoherently implementing indestructible evidence evidently envisioned to obscure failed flarings. The protection was not yet complete; the destruction was not yet achieved.

89. The Neville Brothers
"If It Takes All Night"  4:06
The Neville Brothers
New Orleans, LA

Diana walked down the boulevard. Diaglo rode beside her on a 10-speed bicycle with circular handlebars. He sang sweetly to her, claiming he was going to be her baby. But, the brown bagged beautiful bitch boasted stagnation. To win her love for good, that would take all night.

88. Manfred Mann's Earth Band
"California"  5:31
Watch
London, England

An unmarked burial site had been entrenched at the California state line. The shackled prisoners marched through the desert carrying a casket; singing as they approached the state line; "California, California...California" The bicycle rode beside. A man was perched o' the peddling bicycle. Though he was not steering nor peddling; he was playing the electric guitar...in a world without electricity.

87. Devo
"Mongoloid"  3:44
Q: Are We Not Men? A: We Are Devo!
Kent, OH

Green species of scaled terrestrials swam the Pacific Ocean. They too were nearing the California state line. It did not matter they were wearing elegant suits and fancy neckties; nor did anybody notice their skin was scaly green like alligator aliens. They had black eyes, walked upright. They swam with their arms, like human free style. Tirelessly, they never grew tired. A hole had been hallowed in the harboring harbor.

86. Nick Gilder
"Hot Child in the City"  3:11
City Nights
London, England/Vancouver, BC, Canada

One conformed to no one, Dowetta. The Rock and Roll Bus Machine became her manifestation. At age 60, she looked freakishly fabulous and free. Black sunglasses, black leather jacket- The Rock and Roll Bus Machine became the object of fascination. But, nobody knew where she came from or what her name was. She looked cool, sleek, and sexy...on a mission of danger; uncontrollably, with everybody watching in awe, The Rock and Roll Bus Machine plowed down another pedestrian.

85. The Stranglers
"Death and Night and Blood (Yukio)"  2:50
Black And White
Guildford, England

The buzzer sounded. Somebody died. Buzzards circled the sky. The obituary indicated a call of duty. There has been turmoil for centuries between buzzards and grave diggers. They have depleted the food source. Burial is as pointless as the funeral service itself. On the 14th, following partial disturbance, the belligerent buzzards buzzed a disturbance of their own. They were the emblem of death and on this night, they shall rise above and reclaim what was rightfully theirs.

84. Pack
"Nobody Can Tell Us"  3:04
Pack
München, Germany

Unabated by the bounds of society, the buzzards did what they really want. A funeral sermon was busted by buzzards breaking down barricades. Ignoring all symptoms of danger, the buzzards stormed the casket and consumed the corpses contained within. The epidemic was global. Buzzards multiplied. Every funeral on Earth was crashed with buzzards, caskets destroyed, corpses consumed, cops called. But courageous buzzards collaborated and destroyed a commonly accepted standard.

83. The Suicide Commandos
"You Can't"  2:17
Make a Record
Minneapolis, MN

Paul lost interest in home. But Princess Pauline prompted Paul to return to her. She missed him. Pauline, however, was unwilling to procreate Paul’s lifestyle. There, he hated that fucking cunt. She wouldn’t leave him only, only intensifying his desire to disappear completely.

82. Art Bears
"In Two Minds"  8:46
Hopes And Fears
London, England

A. Paula pounded pissfully on the door of 4646 Lake Shore Drive. Knowing for sure the reason she came for, Paula pulled profusely on the chain…as it started to rain. She knew what she had to gain, so she politely pulled again and again. The door opened. The screen door opened. Nobody was inside, but Paula went inside anyway and sat down and the world spun around.

B. Paula stood on the Boulevard on Planet Placidity lost for life. The surroundings seemed serene sort of sanctuary-ish, sanctuary-like, she liked sanctuaries. Suddenly something special, she supposed. Her new world was heaven to her. She believed she was happy, and she was. The people suggested she was happy. I knew all along.

C. There was a disturbance in the sanctuary. Paula was surrounded by bears, happy bears, with mascot heads. She screamed. Somebody listened. She panicked. Paula’s initial experience on Planet Placidity proved pragmatic. They tried to reach out to her. She was lost; the planet was lost; poor alignment vanished hope.

D. Perhaps Planet Placidity pulled within proper alignment. Pedastro Castro offered her a gift- a cupcake full of scrumptious raspberries. One blissful bite and she experienced intergalactic orgasm. Paul was no longer needed. Paula was home now.

81. Black Devil
"No Regrets"  4:59
Disco Club
France

Paula proved points potentially pointing potential problems. Pounding Paula’s persistently pulsing pussy proved problematic. A presence to curb the stimulation of her sexual addiction. The orgasmic raspberry cupcakes wrongfully relinquished sensational sexual stimulation to a reduced role of periodically providing Paula pristine pleasure. Deemed the planet Placidity savior, Planet Placidity people promised Paula prolonged pleasure providing Planet Placidity’s proper alignment and return to the universal terrain where it shall remain.

80. Townes Van Zandt
"No Place to Fall"  3:33
Flyin' Shoes
Fort Worth, TX (1944)-Smyrna, TN (1997)

The death of 23 year old Allison fulfilled the balance beneath the brimstone. But, Gary the Grave Digger experienced love at first sight upon seeing her in the casket. He had lived recklessly anyway, and did not belong on the surface. Knowing what fate awaits from being in the business, Grave Digger Gary purchased the area next to Allison and stepped in front of The Rock and Roll Bus machine. Though the two enjoyed harmonious tranquility for eternity, the balance beneath the brimstone was damaged beyond belief.

79. Popol Vuh
"Morning Sun Rays"  3:20
Nosferatu (On the Way to a Little Way)
München, Germany

Once the Grave Digger was gloriously buried in the green ground, Planet Placidity stopped, spun, and redirected its course. The constellations appeared different each night; each day a different sun. Numerous new moons knew noon was soon. No longer fearing doom, Planet Placidity polarized. Nobody knew where they were going or what sector of the universe they would call home. It was a strange journey…a slow journey.

78. Steve Hillage
"The Glorious Om Riff"  7:47
Green
London, England

Sensing a shift in the atmosphere, the green scaled suited swimmers reached the California state line. Buzzards circled a dark circle in the intergalactic sky. Once on shore, the swimmers burrowed through the sand swiftly and with grace, disregarding the sooten sand spoiling their 3-piece black suits and luxurious neckties. In the desert, the casket was lowered just beneath the California state line.

77. Mars
"Tunnel"  2:42
No New York
New York, NY

Arising from the sand, the reptilian like beings emerged with a casket. They opened the casket, observed a photograph—the deceased was a perfect match. Demonstrating super human strength, they hoisted the casket and launched it into the air towards the oncoming black circle in the sky. As the casket soared out of sight, unfazed by circling buzzards, the terrestrial beings plunged back into the Pacific and swam away.

76. Black Sabbath
"A Hard Road"  6:05
Never Say Die!
Birmingham, England

The journey through the universe troubled those residing on Planet Placidity. They were even more lost than before is it grew dark, cold, and desolate. This section of the universe seemed even more remote than where the dividends were doubtlessly lost. The Kuiper Belt offered nothing. Pluto had no population and deemed ruined beyond repair. The light of Jupiter and Saturn seemed to be the only hope.







Top Image by: http://halloween3.mint.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/10477_Huggy-Bear-Mascot-Adult-Costume.jpg
Bottom image by: http://www.harlanerskine.com/blog/uploaded_images/40Photographs_BlackSun_1_550-711277.jpg

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