2012/06/16

The Top 100 Songs of 1968

The Best of 1968 + Four Events In American History
Chapter 1: The Disappearance of the Roanoke Colony
Chapter 2: The Slave Revolt of 1712
Chapter 3: The Boston Massacre
Chapter 4: The Trail of Tears

Chapter I: The Disappearance of the Roanoke Colony


Press play on the image below to hear this selection of songs in this exact order.



100. Simon & Garfunkel
"America"  3:35
Bookends
Forest Hills, NY

The first attempt was a total failure. Following the unsuccessful mission, those on the other side of the Ocean were still determined to establish a colony… a replica of their own culture that was essential to interfere with the existing culture. The return assigned 90 men, 17 women, and 7 children to form a new colony in the world they had recently discovered. In those days, building an empire defined prosperity and God had given them the right to do so. After a treacherous voyage across the Ocean, the sailors miraculously reached the exact location of the colony that had previously failed.

99. The Byrds
"I Am A Pilgrim"  3:42
Sweetheart of the Rodeo
Los Angeles, CA

This wasn’t the first time any person had reached this particular destination. No, people had been here for thousands of years. They weren’t even the first of their own kind to be in this spot. There was a beach, paths, and a few remnants that reminded them of failure. Nonetheless, they had massive amounts of work to do using the advanced technology of 1587. Shelter needed built and roofs needed raised without the usage of modern power equipment. Indeed it was a major struggle and all had to admit the ability to construct a new home using the lack of equipment was admirable. Even survival took remarkable skills, consisting of eating and drinking a balanced diet along with protection from unknown weather conditions.

98. The Growing Concern
"Mister, You're a Better Man Than I"  4:54
Growing Concern
Chicago, IL

But, they were never alone. The new island had natives. To each party involved, the new encounters looked bizarre and there were intense language issues. In fact, as of 1587, seeing either for the first time was borderline terrifying. Those natives had seen this before, but they knew to stay away from the island. Something else resided on this land, another entity altogether. Perhaps their arrival was a foredooming of the presence. Unfortunately, they could not communicate nor spread the word of danger. The warnings were never heard; neither knew to other, so it was best to stay away entirely.

97. Kaleidoscope (US)
"Oh Death"  3:29
A Beacon From Mars
Los Angeles, CA

Sickness and disease had a natural way of depleting the colony. Fortunately, they landed in what is now North Carolina—therefore the weather was significantly milder than where they came. A few of them died, and they were powerless to do anything other than watch the person die. It was not as if they had plenty of remedies at their disposal for any sort of new discoveries in advanced terminal illnesses. Even if they did, it’s not as if they would be all that effective either; these people were still relatively stupid—stupid white people who attempted to cure ailments nicknamed “The Black Death” by means of tying a live fish to their ankles. The ship’s Captain, John White, needed to return home for supplies that were essential for survival.

96. Quicksilver Messenger Service
"It's Been Too Long"  3:04
Quicksilver Messenger Service
San Francisco, CA

The wait for supplies to return was a long one. It wasn’t as if they could walk to Walgreen’s and pick up a few things—these assholes hadn’t even invented Walgreen’s and that’s the culture they wished to spread. We know not what the natives had to offer; these people couldn’t speak to them, rumor has it they did not like the way white people smelled, and there was turmoil. They were asked to wait six months for the supplies to return (there are white assholes in today’s world who struggle waiting 5 minutes for service at a restaurant—unreasonable pieces of shit who were spawned from the next batch of white settlers). But, the supply ship was delayed because the king needed to use the boat to conquer some other territory by means of disgraceful warfare…the wait was considerably longer than what Aunt Mable Augustine experienced last Sunday at Denny’s.

95. Gun
"The Sad Saga Of The Boy And The Bee"  4:49
Gun
Ilford, England

They had been given a set of instructions in case they could no longer wait for the supplies to return. And, they couldn’t wait forever for these mother fuckers to return with the God damn boat and the shit on that was so fucking essential. “Jesus Christ, how long does this shit take? Where the fuck is that cock sucker white; with the mother fucking cured salt grass that we need to remedy Agatha’s period?” But, they stayed, staring out at the Ocean…it’ll be any minute now.

94. Fabrizio De André
"Cantico dei Drogati"  7:08
Tutti Morimmo a Stento
Genova, Italy (1940)-Milano, Italy (1999)

Unfortunately, because the nimrods also referred to as The British Parliament decided it was a good idea to send 90 men and only 17 women, they were not welcomed by the Crotoans or any other native tribe. For one, the Crotoans were not interested in turning their tribe into a douchy sausage fest. On average, the women colonists fucked 5-10 guys a day, often with those bratty ass mother fucking kids watching. During a chilly evening, the natives did pay the colonists a friendly visit just to find a few of the children locked outside in the cold. Curious for the sake of the children, they had intended to knock on the door and ask why the fuck they left these little cock suckers outside in the cold. When they peaked in the window, they witnessed 34 men fucking 17 women while the other 56 men were standing in circle jacking off while watching. It was little Mary Beth who asked too many questions, and Theodore whipped her with a butter churner and sent the little cunt outside with the rest of the fucking bastard kids.

93. Fleetwood Mac
"Cold Black Night"  3:17
Fleetwood Mac
London, England

Having discovered the children were gone, the colonists went outside to search for them, many of them still naked with rock hard cocks sticking straight out. The natives assumed they wanted to use little Mary Beth (still noticeably injured from the assault with the butter churner) for their sex ritual; the natives did not wish for her to be a victim of colonized sausage. They knew the land, but the colonists did not. Returning in the dark was not a problem for the natives. Stupidly, the colonists got dressed, and went out searching for the children. Since the ship was to be arriving any minute now, they carved CRO in a tree just in case dude returned while they were out searching for Mary Beth. As if any mother fucker living in Britain had any clue what the fuck CRO was supposed to mean; they might as well have carved E=MC² in the tree.

92. Aretha Franklin
"Ain't No Way"  4:17
Dooor
Memphis, TN

Long ago, an unrecorded expenditure took place in this very same place. A love affair that had been forbidden by the king refused to die. In that period, certain colonies in the old world had yet been discovered and conquered by the king…therefore, travels across the ocean not noticed, but far more frequent because approval was not needed from an imbecile. Orlando and Anna ventured into the forest to partake in their lustful taboo affair. Anna thoroughly enjoyed the sensations of having her sexual organs stimulated with the tongue of another man. In her village, the women were dominant and they would slap men around and force them to go down on them while they prepared meals and ate the good portions (scraps were tossed on the floor for the men to eat). Out in the forest, Orlando undressed her, slowly removed her sexy 1500’s risqué fashion, and exposing her luscious pristine body that resemble at 1553 pin-up model. It was erotic pornographic explicit sex taking place in this uncharted territory.

91. The Who
"Magic Bus"  3:18
Magic Bus
London, England

This group had fled their old world colony to avoid being triumphed by the king’s swords and medieval brutality (Medieval period had ended, but the king still practiced it—proof all forms of government have historically been behind in the times thus reducing the credibility of all historical accounts based on their perspective); their village was burned without just cause. They built a sailing vessel and set sail across the Ocean. Let’s face it, anybody can sail an Ocean—it’s not some great fucking miracle that Christopher Columbus discovered—fucking boats had been around forever. Their cruise line was much more frivolous than the government sponsored fleet of ships—you could drink on Anna & Orlando’s ship, mother fuckers on Christopher Columbus’s ship read the Bible for recreational Saturday night activities. Thus, across the Ocean they went to avoid a pitiful meaningless life of government, monarchy, a savage concept called religion that imbecile king swore was 100% accurate and somewhere in there entailed a specific set of rules that deemed their culture sinful.

90. Strawberry Alarm Clock
"Curse of the Witches"  6:46
Wake Up... It's Tomorrow
Glendale, CA

Determined to stop the spread of Satan, the king’s preacher-man sailed across the Ocean in pursuit of the rebel colony. They tracked down the unruly pagans and spotted them in the forest engaging in the taboo sex acts. The preacher-man and the fleet surrounded the group in the forest. Anna was deemed a witch, put on trial, and tormented. For her lustful sins, the king’s knights and shipmates burned Anna alive and then massacred the rest of the villagers. After the onslaught, the proud supporters of monarchy left this land in order to report their brave deed to the king back home. However, a tribe of natives witnessed the spectacle; and the monarchy supporters killed some of the natives before setting sail back to their old kingdom. A member of the destroyed tribe deemed the forest cursed by the white man and the spell was placed. En route to the old world, their ship sank and all passengers were killed. The details of this had been unknown forever.

89. Amen Corner
"Gin House"  3:14
Round Amen Corner
Caerdydd, Wales

Upon pursuing the natives searching for Mary Beth and the other children, the Roanoke Colonists found themselves all alone in a dark forest. The moon was full and its glowing light made the branches look as black as the circular field in which the colonists had stopped for the night and set up camp. It was an eerie place in an unknown forest. None of them knew their way around and they were totally lost. For the time being, it did not matter—they would find they were way tomorrow. They were pioneering explorers; it was common to be lost in the middle of nowhere.

88. The Moody Blues
"Om"  5:47
In Search of the Lost Chord
Birmingham, England

This was a most unusual, unsettling setting however. There was something about the atmosphere that caused intense vivid surreal dreams. When they awoke, it was almost as if they were in a different world. Perhaps a plant in the wilderness was causing euphoric effects. Each of the colonists spoke of bizarre hallucinogenic experiences. During the onset, it was slightly fascinating for none of them had ever experienced this before—possibly a new remedy for arthritis.

87. Bohemian Vendetta
"Paradox City"  2:10
Bohemian Vendetta
Long Island, NY

The journey the next day seemed to be going nowhere. Maybe it was because they were feeling the effects of the euphoric inducing elements lingering in the atmosphere. They seemed to be going in circles, growing even more lost. All of the settings now seemed to look the same, constantly leading to what appeared to be the same circular shaped field surrounded by a dark mystical forest. But, there was somebody else present lurking in the trees and they all saw it—it was a tall, black, and slender figure with glowing eyes. Nobody knew who or what it was seeing it in the distance. Regardless, they followed it; raced after it through the trees, but it eluded them. None of them received a good look at it nor knew where exactly it disappeared.

86. The Orange Machine
"Real Life Permanent Dream"  3:17
Three Jolly Little Dwarfs
Dublin, Ireland

This thing could not have been one sole individual hallucination because they had all seen it and heard it running through the woods. But, none of them could positively identify what it was. Fear began to set in for this was still an unknown region of their world and they were thousands of miles from their natural habitat. There had been numerous reports of strange animals, insects, and beasts in these woods; creatures that did not exist in their homeland; and none of them knew how far the land extended or what lied beyond the horizon. It could be anything and this strange creature had potentially unlimited characteristics. This was a savage being they had never even known existed until now. And, just how many of them were there? They had no choice but to hunt it, for this creature did, in fact, flee from them initially—it was also afraid of them. They had been taught they had domain granted from God over not only this forest, but the entire universe, and this creature was not about to dissolve that.

85. Miles Davis
"Nefertiti"  7:52
Nefertiti
Alton, IL (1926)-Santa Monica, CA (1991)

Deeper into the forest, the scenery became even more exotic. Encounters with other animals proved inconsistent and one member of the wildlife was foundation was killed for dinner. It kept them alive, although nobody knew exactly what it was they ate. Reports of black bears were both fulfilling and unsettling. There was no choice; fish were not present, although edible produce grew wildly in the forest. None of the natives were present and there had been no encounters during the entire time they had grown increasingly lost. The effects of the atmosphere were still trance inducing and the sun shun over the sky. It was much warmer this time of year than what they were accustomed to, but it still grew chilly by night. New plans were made at a group meeting and goals were set. During the meeting, many of them spoke like assholes, saying shit like ‘slight and thou and that sort of 1587 bullshit. There was only one Shakespeare, and it wasn’t any of these mother fuckers—even though they tried to act like it; instead, they came off more like modern day white kids trying to act like gangsta rappers.

84. David Axelrod
"The Smile"  3:25
Song of Innocence
Los Angeles, CA

Each turn led to a different scene of exotic tranquility; a stream, a lake, other shit people stop and gaze at and temporarily forget about their damn kids being kidnapped. In actuality, as it stood now, all of the kids were ugly little bastards. They would grow up to be decent looking from living with the natives, particularly Virginia Dare who eventually lost all of her grandfather’s features. Regardless, they searched for them anyway. But, no matter what, they ended up in the exact same circular shaped field surrounded by the dark eerie forest. Then came the unsettling feeling that they were being watched—there may have been thousands of these creatures lurking in the wilderness.

83. Procol Harum
"Shine On Brightly"  3:32
Shine On Brightly
Southend-on-Sea, England

They stopped to regroup in the circular field. There was much bickering and blaming that accompanied the fear. “Whilst these trees. Methinks, rogues, all of you! Thou should not listen to thee.” However, it was not as if the original home base was even complete. If all else failed, they could simply colonize here, in this circular shaped field in the middle of the forest—fuck them damn kids, as much fucking as they did the night before, surely they could have a few more soon.

Some of them were missing at all points in time. Initially, they did not all leave at once. But, after a brief wait, they would say shit like, “Begat! What is keeping them? By the Lord’s light, I will go, and find these mother fucking rogues.” Or, they would split up—some mother fuckers going this, some of them going that way. Somehow though, they always seemed to end up in this same circular shaped field in the middle of the dark eerie forest—and the reunion included everybody in the colony. Once again, they all split up and entered a different portion of the forest walking in a straight line; once again, they all united in the same circular field surrounded by the mysterious forest in which they had previously entered.

82. July
"My Clown"  2:31
July
Ealing, England

There were strange noises in the forest. Darkness had settled in, but the moon lit up the circular field. All of the colonists gathered around the campfire planning what actions to take next—and trying to sound all philosophical and shit but just ended sounding like a bunch of fucking fruit cakes. Also, the intoxicating hallucinogens still had an effect, making their speech sound even more peculiar. They attributed the weeds they must be allergic to as to why they must’ve kept traveling in circles. The remnants of the mysterious artifacts provided no clues.

81. The Savage Resurrection
"Tahitian Melody"  3:45
The Savage Resurrection
Richmond, CA

The sounds of rustling leaves and breaking twigs seemed to be creeping in all directions. It sounded as if someone was approaching, but there no signs of another person present anywhere. They assumed it must have been a rabbit or one of those raccoons they had back in 1587. All of the disturbances were eerie and puzzling. They felt as if they were surrounded and it the overall feeling was chilling. The leaves stirred and a spooky wind howled through the trees.

80. SRC
"Exile"  4:20
SRC
Ann Arbor, MI

Another tall slender black figure with glowing eyes crept through the woods. The colonists were the disturbance and the curse was set long ago for the white man in case he ever returned. The unidentifiable black figure hid behind a tree and watched the group of colonists. It ducked behind the brush and studied the group. Behind several of the trees was a set of glowing shiny eyes. They had surrounded their camp and were watching them.

79. Scott Walker
"Plastic Palace People"  6:07
Scott 2
Hamilton, OH/London, England

One of them let out a puzzling high pitched noise like some sort of a mating call from a wild bird. The colonists heard it, but were unsure what it was. They were startled upon hearing this clearly audible distinct call, and stood up looking around nervously. Shortly after the first one, several of the creatures roared out the same strange noises, and soon the entire colonist camp was surrounded by strange chants in the wilderness. Some had stood up and some had crouched behind trees prepared for battle or whatever was necessary to ward against these things in case something decided to attack. One of the strange beings with the glowing eyes stood at the edge of the forest; they all saw it and it made no attempt to hide.

78. Jefferson Airplane
"Triad"  4:56
Crown of Creation
San Francisco, CA

The mere sight of this thing nearly induced panic. Some had shouted at it and asked what it wanted; even directed hostility towards it. No matter what they did, however, the creature simply stood there staring at them. It occurred to them that these beings must be the ones making the chanting noises and the rustling in the trees—or at least causing distress to other animals. For, in the woods, the chants and high pitched calls were ringing so loud it was difficult to hear anything else. The dead leaves around them swirled around the ground. Glowing eyes were now visibly noticeable in every direction in the forest. All of sudden, without warning, the campfire abruptly went out completely—leaving the campsite in near total darkness except for the light of the moon.

77. International Harvester
"Sov Gott Rose-Marie"  3:39
Sov Gott Rose-Marie
Stockholm, Sweden

After the blaze abruptly diminished, the figure with the glowing eyes slowly approached the campsite. It stalked through the night and showed no fear walking towards the camp. None of the colonists had any clue what this thing was, what it wanted, or what it had intentions of doing. Even more rustling sounded from the woods, and several of the black slender figures were emerging from the forest—there were shiny glowing eyes approaching in every direction. Panic ensued, coupled with terrified screams and visions of horrific insanity.

76. The Freeborne
"Peak Impressions & Thoughts"  6:41
Peak Impressions
Boston, MA

The supplies cargo finally returned three years later. There were no signs whatsoever of any member of the colony and they seemed to have completely vanished. All clues led to nothing, CRO knew nothing, and there was no evidence that any person from the colony had ever been there. They had completely disappeared, and none of their remains were even found. Some assumed that they never even arrived to the colony and that madman serial killer had killed all of them before even arriving to Roanoke and dumped all of their bodies in the ocean—it was he who carved CRO in that tree as an attempt to cover up his massive killing spree. But, he was acquitted…and he too heard the noises in the forest.







Top Image by: http://todayontoday.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/Virginia-Dare.gif
Bottom image by: zastavki.com

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