The Top 75 Traxxx of 1998

The Top 125 Songs of 1998 + Family Affair
Section 1: Teenage Pregnancy
Section 2: Proud Parents Of The New Generation
Section 3: Love Affair #13
Section 4: Sex Partner #3
Section 5: From the Cradle Til Death Do You Part

Section III: Love Affair #13

Press play on the image below to hear this selection of songs in this exact order.

75. Spoon
"Utilitarian" 1:51
Series of Sneaks
Austin, TX

Even things that once upon a time seemed perfect must end sometime. However, some of us are never prepared for things to end abruptly and especially without warning. I should have seen the signs though. When Wilma turned 18, Elizabeth was 16, I was but 35, and Tess was only 37. Perhaps it was a mistake getting married and starting a family too young. Or, I should have known to never got involved with somebody who savored the reputation as a slut…or at least not made any commitment to a monogamous relationship. I may have been happy with an open relationship, but the kids were not. Tess, simply put, always had a curious nature and enjoyed men flattering her and giving her attention; she had a hyperactive sex drive.

74. We Ragazzi
"Kiss Prescription" 2:55
Suicide Sound System
Chicago, IL/New York, NY

Wilma was the one who told me about it. She spilled the beans, angrily, and told me how she caught Tess at home with another man—some dude from the refrigerator repair place. Also, there were allegations mounting surrounding her and the 18 year little bastard sorry ass prick who was feeling her up at the graduation party. This was turmoil that I never thought I would have to face; I was hurt, Wilma was outraged.

73. Beck
"Canceled Check" 3:15
Los Angeles, CA

Tess denied everything. However, Wilma claimed that she had witnessed the whole affair and even refused to speak to Tess. Others claimed that it should have been obvious this entire time. I did not know what to believe and personally would rather have ignored the whole thing; I do not like this sort of confrontational dealings. Ideally, it should have meant that she was happy and I could be happy too by fucking Jodi or whoever else I wanted. At age 35 and only claiming to have sex with two women was a small fraction of what I had heard about. Maybe I was ready to explore other options as well.

72. Mark Hollis
"Watershed" 5:45
Mark Hollis
Tottenham, England

However, I could not fathom the notion that I was lying in pool of another man’s ass sweat. I would go to bed itchy fearing a stray pubic hair the same way some people fear bed bugs. Finally, I migrated to the couch and prayed that nobody had ever fucked there (I was at least able to flip the cushions over). It grew difficult to sleep as I was plagued with visions of other guys pumping their bodily fluids into my wife…and her enjoying it.

71. 22-Pistepirkko
"Beautiful Morning" 3:43
Utajärvi, Finland

For the past 18 years, I would strongly state that I had been happily married; 18 years is a long time. It would be virtually impossible to void that entire relationship just over a few minor errors. As it stood, I woke up on the couch and it was indeed a lovely day; a perfect day for that matter. I simply wanted to forget about everything negative that had occurred and return to normalcy. Without a care in the world, I went to work and approached the day in the exact same manner as I had been doing for the past 18 years. There would be no need to ever discuss anything, and all would be fine. As far as I was concerned, there were no problems whatsoever that needed mending. So what, she slept with a few other guys, its not like it cost me anything. Plus, it would all wash off in the shower…I just needed to dump some peroxide into her coochie and it would be like nothing ever happened.

70. The Green Pajamas
"Queen Of Sunshine" 4:06
All Clues Lead to Meagan's Bed
Seattle, WA

Tess was still beautiful to me and the word divorce simply sounded horrendous and unthinkable. Whenever most people have marital problems, there is usually a series of unfavorable events that lead to the ultimate adversity. With us, however, we did not have such a series of events. It was one day all was happy, our oldest child graduated high school, and then suddenly considerably unforgivable deeds of discordance. But, I am not the one who considers these acts justification for severance; outside influences have claimed that Tess deserved to be shot. She was still my queen and I loved her…even if some fat gross refrigerator repairman blew his wad all over her face.

69. The Asteroid #4
"Visitation Rights" 4:59
Philadelphia, PA

However, Tess became resentful with me, especially for sleeping on the couch. I arrived home in a good mood thinking this whole thing was settled, prepared to forget anything ever happened, and she was hostile towards me. She claimed that I had violated her trust, and the fact that I even believed that she was even capable of committing such an awful act ashamed her. Furthermore, she was extremely furious with Wilma and even threatened to throw her out of the house. As it stood, both of us were on our way out.

68. Laddio Bolocko
"Beatrice The Coyote" 6:14
As If In Real Time
New York, NY

That was followed with feelings of severe anxiety and nervous tension. Everything that I once valued was in disarray and it screwed up my whole chemical balance. I was frustrated at work and found myself mashing marshmallows into the soap dispenser. It was increasingly difficult for me to speak to anybody because I did not wish to heed the advice they were attempting to convey. Most people wanted to sentence Tess to a guilty verdict and all I wanted was to forgive her. Furthermore, I had no proof that any of this ever happened, but why would Wilma lie about everything? There was nothing for her to gain, so I had no choice but to believe her. I believe that was what made me the most perplexed was the uncertainty surrounding all of this; the only thing that was positive was that somebody was lying, and whoever it was happened to be somebody that I loved.

67. Dirty Three
"Ends Of The Earth" 5:12
Ocean Songs
Melbourne, Australia

I considered Tess turning this entire thing back on me to be a shrewd move. In order to resolve this matter quickly, I told her that I did not care that she had slept with the refrigerator repairman, the 18 year old from the party, and whoever else she decided was worthy; that I was perfectly content with having an open marriage and perhaps joining a swinger’s club; and mentioned how everything would return perfectly back to normal if she splashed some peroxide on her beaver and we changed the sheets—and allowed me to have sex with Jodi every once in a while. We had been married for 18 years and had overcome a lot—I don’t think requesting her to pour a cap full of hydrogen peroxide on her twat was asking too much. I had no way of being certain of any of this, and was just going by what I had heard from other reliable sources. All she had to do was soak that muff in some peroxide for a few minutes and everything would have been immaculate, just as it had been for nearly two decades.

66. Starflyer 59
"The Fashion Focus" 3:17
The Fashion Focus
Riverside, CA

Furthermore, I was prepared to give Wilma a lecture about relationships and how some things are better left ignored. Unfortunately, Wilma had become much more intelligent than me; the only thing left that I could instill a fatherly lecture upon her was the art of marshmallow packaging. As I was telling her procedures for a healthy relationship and explaining how all people potentially do harmful things in which they more than likely later regret, she interrupted me and claimed that Tess had deceived me, made me look like a fool, could not be trusted, and was basically walking all over me. Jesus, you little brat, that’s your mom you’re talking about. Most kids you would think would want to keep their parents together.

65. The Dirtbombs
"I Can't Stop Thinking About It" 3:04
Horndog Fest
Detroit, MI

On that note, I had no choice but to question what had happened in their past history to make Wilma be so unwilling to forgive Tess. At the graduation party, things seemed perfectly fine. Seeing the two of them now, one would suspect that they were worst enemies. There was severe tension in the household with these two and they showed the type of symptoms that they may even be readying for a fist fight. Wilma was even mumbling wretched names under her breath whenever Tess curtly spoke to her; calling her things such as slut, bitch, hoe, floozy, white trash cunt, and all sorts of other crude adjectives. I wondered how long this had been brewing.

64. Refused
"Worms of the Sense / Faculties of the Skull" 7:06
The Shape of Punk to Come
Umeå, Sweden

That eventually escalated to the most heated argument Tess and I ever had. It wasn’t really both of us arguing, it was more so her shouting at me at the top of her lungs. Once again, she managed to turn everything back on me and make me out to be the guilty one. “Is that what you think? That I’m a slut who will just fuck anything? An open relationship? Seriously? That’s what you want? To join a swinger’s club so you can fuck 18 year old girls? And you think I’m the one cheating on you?” Even after I attempted to re-assure that I only said those things assuming it was what she wanted, and all I wanted was to make her happy, she still lashed out violent outbursts and threatened to throw me out of the house. “In fact,” she concluded, “just get the fuck out of here. I don’t ever want to see you again!”

63. At The Drive-In
"Chanbara" 2:59
El Paso, TX

I tried to plead with her and suggested that she didn’t really mean that. However, then came the worst. “Is that what you want to hear? That I fucked somebody else? Then, yes! I fucked somebody else. I have never been faithful to you.” She confessed everything and even added that this was nothing new and that she had had 13 different affairs since we had been married. Strangely, she apologized and cried. But, she did state that she had lost interest in me, only pretended to be happy for the kid’s sake, and wished to terminate our marriage. Simply put, I was not the ideal man for her and she had spent the past decade miserable because she was longing for something else. What a fucking asshole she is.

62. Melt-Banana
"Spathic!!" 2:29
Tokyo, Japan

Back in the old days, all of the girls would gang up on me. Suddenly, the tables turned. Wilma lashed out at Tess and the two of them were essentially screaming at each other. It was an intense moment and the both of them were getting testy and in each other’s faces. Apparently their relationship had been deteriorating for the past couple years and I had no knowledge of this. They merely tolerated each other because they were related. All of that seemed squandered now as Wilma cursed at her and Tess backhanded her across the face, calling her an ungrateful bitch. Tess took all the credit for the family success and attempted to belittle me stating that if we listened to this loser sack of shit from the marshmallow plant that the family probably wouldn’t even be living in a house…that she had to be a bitch to me in order to ensure that I would maintain the proper responsibility in order for Wilma and Elizabeth to survive with the luxuries they have. It ended up that Wilma was kicked out of the house too. As we were leaving, Tess yelled out to Wilma, “one day you’ll understand.”

61. Roy Montgomery
"Down From That Hill And Up To The Pond" 6:32
And Now the Rain Sounds Like Life Is Falling Down Through It
London, England/Christchurch, New Zealand

We spent the night at a hotel, Wilma and I. She was still angry about the whole situation and I did not wish to discuss anything. I was tired, confused, and just needed a few hours of silence to think things over. The only thing I knew to do was to just lie there in the bed at the hotel room and stare at the ceiling. It suddenly occurred to me that I was somewhat homeless, even though I owned a house. I thought about Elizabeth and how this was going to affect her. My thought patterns were constantly disturbed with distorted images and reflections about how I could have done things differently, although I am not sure what more I could have done. Psychedelic patterns from outside street lamps took the pattern of memories of Tess on the white walls. Life for me was spent to ensure the happiness of my children, and that in turn brought happiness to me.

60. Destroyer
"I Want this Cyclops" 3:14
City of Daughters
Vancouver, BC, Canada

That’s when I realized that things weren’t necessarily that bad. I definitely still had Wilma, and to be honest, she had become the joy of my life anyway. Nothing was lost, she was on my side, I could still see Elizabeth periodically… it was just time for some alterations. I still had a wonderful family, just not Tess anymore. Tess and I had a good solid 18 years together, but perhaps it was time for a change. The kids were almost grown, and she served her purpose helping raising them. I still had my job at the marshmallow packaging plant, that wasn’t going to change anytime soon. Rather than look at this as a potential disaster, I viewed it as something that was meant to be, and it was meant to be because there were obviously better things in store for all of us.

59. Karate
"Not to Call the Police" 5:00
The Bed Is in the Ocean
Boston, MA

There was obviously some lingering bitterness, but I was even able to utilize that to my benefit. Upon leaving the hotel, which was nowhere near downtown, a young lady walked by us talking on her cell phone. She was speaking loudly and we were able to hear exactly what she was saying for she was in our proximity. “I’m getting my nails done right now. Yes! Yes! I’m walking around downtown but I can’t find the place. No, I’ve been looking all over for the place to get my nails done, but I can’t find it anywhere. I’ve been walking around downtown looking for the stupid nail salon.” This girl had a nasty harshness in the tone of her voice to whomever she was lying to on the phone. I doubt the bitch was getting her nails done anywhere, and the fact she told this person she was downtown was unsettling enough; the fact that she became hostile with the person on the phone was maddening. It made me think about how many times Tess had done this to me, how often she lied, and I recalled how when she was questioned about being unfaithful, she not only lied but became equally hostile towards me for even questioning it.

58. Tower Recordings
"The Nine Billion Names of God" 2:58
Furniture Music for Evening Shuttles
New York, NY

Based on what I had seen in the past 24 hours, I made the determination that whenever a woman becomes argumentative over casual inquiries that she is a malicious liar attempting to conceal detrimental affairs. Thinking back on it all, I never one time took an astringent approach when discussing simple proceedings such as what I had for lunch, how my day was, or what we discussed at the marshmallow packagers business conference. An important lesson was learned through this, and I now knew to avoid all associations with spiteful women who seemingly get upset over ordinary conversation. Being as I do not like liars anyway, even as friends, this was a characteristic that I would observe thoroughly in the people I have been surrounded. It could be determined that this was the end result of suffering my first emotional wound; whereas before I did not care or take notice if people were dishonest.

57. The Minders
"Frida" 3:48
Hooray For Tuesday
Denver, CO/Portland, OR

It did not take long for Wilma to completely disown her mother. Apparently she had suspected this sort of behavior from Tess for quite some time, but was not old enough to understand the severity of the violation. She recalled seeing mom hanging around with strange men, but at the time thought nothing of it—assumed they were just friends and never suspected Tess was capable of taking actions that would be calamitous to our marriage vows. And as she got older, and being as she had little interest in boys or the “popular” kids at school, not only did her suspicions grow, but so did her disapproval of Tess’s ongoing affairs.

56. The Gerbils
"Grin" 3:04
Are You Sleepy?
Athens, GA

She was extremely vocal about her aggravation with Tess; she even began referring to her as Tess rather than “mom.” While I was attempting to allow the situation to simply pass and move forward with the new era that potentially could be better than anything, Wilma was continuously stating that she couldn’t believe what a fucking bitch Tess was, that I shouldn’t have take that sort of bullshit, and that I should do something about it. According to Wilma, I should have thrown Tess out of the house, and we reside there with Elizabeth: “let that bitch stay at the fucking hotel.” She even claimed that I had the right to pay somebody to go over and kick her ass.

55. Bethany Curve
"Drag" 7:18
Santa Cruz, CA

I took responsibility for the whole thing and blamed myself. I kindly explained to Wilma that I was even younger than she was at the time she was born. At the time, Tess was over the age of 18 and we needed to put the first apartment in her name only. Because of this, when we were finally able to purchase the house, which too needed to be put in her name in order to save money on interest rates. Furthermore, 98% of court rulings were in favor of the woman, and if I threw her out, she would be entitled to full custody of the kids anyway, and I would still have to pay for wherever she decided to live. Divorce court was so much bullshit, and it basically permitted women to violate any marriage vows they pleased without any repercussions whatsoever.

54. Sparklehorse
"Sunshine" 5:03
Good Morning Spider
Richmond, VA

Other than working at Arby’s, Wilma had no commitments anywhere else. She was out of high school and had not yet started college. Plus, she had a car and was over the age of 18. However, I do not think she was ready, or even willing, to move out on her own. Furthermore, she was not inclined to move back to the house with Tess and Elizabeth. There were no restrictions on her staying anywhere in particular, and she was legally permitted to ditch me at anytime (and, I was legally permitted to disallow her to stay with me). But, as we all know, Wilma had also become my best friend, and was still my oldest daughter—therefore I felt obligated to still take care of her even though we were no longer living in our home.

53. Grasshopper & The Golden Crickets
"N.Y. Avenue Playground (Reprise)" 2:08
The Orbit of Eternal Grace
New York, NY

Wilma stuck by my side. And, naturally, I stuck by her side. She and I were in this mess together and possibly only proved that a father-daughter bond holds no limitations. It was comforting to know that no matter how tumultuous life could become, we always had each other. Since she was still accompanying me through whatever disasters the world was capable of throwing at us, I further emphasized to remain responsible even more than ever. I would always care and provide for my daughter; I loved her more than anything else in the world.

52. Silver Jews
"Federal Dust" 4:02
American Water
Charlottesville, VA

We took an apartment together closer to downtown. It was Wilma’s idea to move into the heart of the city. Our place wasn’t exactly as spacious as our once happy house, but we had to take something quickly because we were staying at hotels. She was excited for the new apartment, although she frequently joked that it was small, old, and hoped nobody had been shot here. Furthermore, we had fun shopping for new furniture as she was able to pick everything out. Once again, I was paying for a home that was quickly taken over by an 18 year old girl…only this time my daughter; interesting how history has a way of repeating itself. We had a living room, dining room, kitchen, one bathroom, and two bedrooms—nothing more. Wilma got the master bedroom; I got the small little shitty bedroom. Even though I was her father, she was technically in my custody, and I was the head of the household, it was her kitchen, her bathroom, her dining room, 88% of the living room was hers, and 12% of my closet was hers as well.

51. Los Planetas
"Segundo Premio" 5:32
Una Semana En El Motor De Un Autobús
Granada, Spain

I basically ignored Tess from that moment on. She had made several attempts to call and left several messages on my phone, but I never returned to them. For me, it was better to simply ignore her; I had nothing to gain by speaking to her. I had not committed any crimes, and therefore was not willing to jeopardize my happiness on her behalf. Wilma and I were fine together, and I was due for another promotion at the marshmallow packaging plant.

On the other hand, Wilma had returned home to gather some of her belongings. She spoke with Tess and apparently she had filed for divorce, but wanted to discuss the situation with me. But, since I was not willing to speak to her, she hired a lawyer, and therefore was contemplating suing me for alimony and all sorts of other various monetary assets.

This led to yet another turbulent exchange between Tess and Wilma. Apparently, the two of them feuded so vehemently that it was quite possible the wounds would never be healed. Wilma returned home raging mad and told me all about the confrontation. Somewhere in the midst of all this, presumptions unfolded that there was even a certain probability that Elizabeth wasn’t even my daughter.

The thought of this sickened me and nearly made me nauseous. I had raised her since she was an infant, and no matter the circumstances, I considered her my daughter. Nothing would ever change that, and therefore I would never be willing to relinquish any notion that I was not her father.

However, Wilma claimed that Tess was making ridiculous allegations about me and threatening to sue me for everything I was worth. She insisted that if it were revealed that Elizabeth was not my biological daughter that I would be entitled to sue Tess. Furthermore, she claimed that Elizabeth would always accept me as her father no matter what, and simply needed a better mother.

As a result, I was talked into conducting a DNA test to determine whether or not Elizabeth was actually my daughter. To be honest with you, I would rather not know and was content allowing me to believe that she actually was my own daughter and always would be. Furthermore, I believe I would rather have been sued by Tess and lost everything monetary rather than lose the title of father to Elizabeth.

But, I did not want Elizabeth to ever have any doubts, and therefore decided to go through with the testing. We agreed that no matter what happened, I would always be her dad, and this would change nothing between us—our love for each other was strong in that regard and I trusted that it always would be. After a few days of nervously awaiting the results from the DNA lab, the results were finally revealed. The good news: Elizabeth was in fact my biological daughter.

However, Wilma was not.

I felt as if my whole life had evaporated. The one person whom I felt would always be by my side no matter was theoretically no relation to me whatsoever. The one person who I had dedicated my entire life to ensure her happiness did not even belong to me. The one person who made me proud to be a human being, proud of all my accomplishments, the one thing that defined my success in life—was officially the daughter of some other man.

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