2012/05/17

The Top 125 Songs of 1978

The Best of 1978 + Collision Course Distress Signal
Part 1: Grave Diggers Love Deadly Bus Drivers
Part 2: The Disturbance Beneath
Part 3: Poor Planetary Disposition
Part 4: The Mysterious Obituary
Part 5: The Indestructible Distress Signal of Planet Placidity
Part 6: 26 Years Ago In the History of The Universe

Part II: The Disturbance Beneath


Press play on the image below to hear this selection of songs in this exact order.




125. The Suburbs
"Prehistoric Jaws"  2:17
The Suburbs EP
Minneapolis, MN

Parallel Plane #83, Universe Sector 66-44D. "I had Skype sex with some random girl who liked a comment I posted on CBS Sports, and now she's saying that she's pregnant, that I'm the father, and has pictures and videos as proof." The comment had been taken humorously, until it was discovered truthful, and was written as a suicide letter. This was not supposed to exist.

124. The Cars
"I'm in Touch With Your World"  3:31
The Cars
Boston, MA

Parallel Plane #42, sometime in the past before the invention of Skype. Howard Murphy who had committed suicide in 2017 on Plane #83 rose from the dead. It was a special grave, one that had been dug for Kenny- who many considered the chosen one. This was the world he had always dreamed of; and immediately fulfilled his lifelong dream to become a cashier at K-Mart. He vowed to save K-Mart from the wretched horrific state that awaited it.

123. Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band
"Still The Same"  3:15
Stranger In Town
Detroit, MI

A roar from the crowd. Hal had not seen Paul since he delivered the last letter to 4646 Lake Shore Drive. Elegantly dressed women surrounded the mail man. Big busty bussoms blossomed blissfully at the high rollers table. The mail man revealed his hand- two black aces, two black 8's, and the tarot card of death. Winner! Dollar bills floated through the air like celebration confetti after Quinipiac College men's basketball team snapped a 26 game losing streak.

122. Jorge Ben
"Menino Jesus de Praga"  3:45
A Banda do Zé Pretinho
Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

Big breasted Bonnie bounced bountifully on the mailman's magnificently magnificent mighty macaroni. Postage Paid. Whores lined up at the door wanting to score before the poor Zoar grew soar, no more decor, underneath the drawer. The Earth's core shook the floor of the K-Mart store. The disruption of the balance of was faced with a critical decision, that's for sure.

121. Peaches & Herb
"Reunited"  4:01
2 Hot!
Washington, DC

The wind howled in the desolate wilderness brimming the flames of the burning bicycle. She stood beside the flames, crying. A figure appeared dressed as a mailman. It was Paul- He sang to her. She sang back. They continued singing softly to each other. In K-Mart, as they purchased a new bicycle. Howard and the other associates smiled cheerfully as the rode the bike through the store, knocking items over in accessories. She riding on the handlebars, singing. They crashed into the toilet paper endcap display, and continued singing the song in the bedroom.

120. Kenny Rogers
"The Gambler"  3:35
The Gambler
Houston, TX

Sitting on a park bench in the middle of the desert, a sexy girl jogged by. She was scantily dressed- his concentration temporarily disturbed with sexual lust. She appeared to be jogging in place up ahead in the distance. He had lost everything. A figure arose on the bench beside him, another mailman, another Paul. Paul could tell Paul was troubled and offered some friendly advice. After a speech about life's lessons, knowing, Paul #1 walked away; Paul #2 ran.

119. Pablo Cruise
"Love Will Find A Way"  4:13
Worlds Away
San Francisco, CA

Hal was digging a grave. He was obviously miserable. A spirit named Donald Niehymer sat on the concrete divider wall behind him. He sang while Paul dug the grave; reflecting on images of Dowetta leaving him stranded on the Rock And Roll Bus Machine. Other corpses popped their heads from the ground and sang the chorus in harmony with the other grave diggers. Dowetta showed up at the grave site and the embraced with a warm soft hug.

118. Melissa Manchester
"Don't Cry Out Loud"  3:53
Don't Cry Out Loud
New York, NY

After being terminated from the county transit system, Dowetta succumbed to depression. Her Fairy Godmother, some woman named Edith, found her on an urban street corner trying to turn tricks to buy heroin. Before injecting the needle into her arm, the Fairy Godmother, Edith, sang words of encouragement. An unassisted bicycle peddled up to her and she hopped on the seat. She returned, yet again, to Hal, who was drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon straight out of a tin can in the parking garage.

117. The Weirdos
"We Got the Neutron Bomb"  3:00
We Got the Neutron Bomb
Los Angeles, CA

A specific region of the desert had been delegated to test missiles and bombs. Upon detonation, the toxins polluted the upper world atmosphere, jeopardizing the harmony of the coalition between the contaminants of the spatial celestial terrestrial territories. The missile casing deployed underneath the graves to ensure the birth of an unknown embryo.

116. The Brothers Johnson
"Streetwave"  5:14
Blam!!
Los Angeles, CA

Noomgu handed Promtu a folded piece of paper and awaited the response. Promtu, seated at a desk made of oak, read the memo and nodded his head to Noomgu---who promptly proceeded to leave Promtu---who signaled to Diaglo. A crowd of beings arose, the summoning of Diaglo was a major ordeal. They watched in awe. Diaglo wore a comical bear costume, a mascot head. Hromtu handed Diaglo the piece of paper---it was a photograph of a planet called Earth. His enormous gigantic mascot head always bore a smile---the smile remained constant.

115. Ambrosia
"How Much I Feel"  4:50
Life Beyond L.A.
Los Angeles, CA

Diaglo once fell in love with Betty from Sector 44-7 in the Astral Plane of Hopefuls. Betty was frequently required to wear a brown paper bag over her head during intercourse. The smiley brown bear mascot head passionately feeling the warm breath breathing beneath the brown paper bag. One day, Betty removed the brown paper bag and walked from this miserable life forever. Diaglo later married Pianolo, who divorced him for visualizing a babe with a brown paper bag over her head during sex.

114. Nicolette Larson
"Lotta Love"  3:11
Nicolette
Helena, MT (1952)-Los Angeles, CA (1997)

Paul put on his mailman uniform and walked away. She continued shouting at him; then stood on the porch and sang as he walked away. During her song, images of Paul walking away forever carrying a knapsack full of lettrs. She remained on the proch, singing angrily. Rectangular boxes floated in the air. Each box displayed one word adjectives in black letters across white backgrounds...Neurotic...Psychotic...so forth.

113. Rose Royce
"Love Don't Live Here Anymore"  3:56
Rose Royce III: Strikes Again
Los Angeles, CA

Paul arrived at the home of 4646 North Shore Drive. Nobody was home. Cob webs covered the dusty furniture. The mail box was filled with letters, including the last letter Paul ever delivered; it was the first letter in the stack. He stuffed more envelopes into the mail slot. Paul was inside the house. Diaglo was seated in a chair.

112. Toto
"I'll Supply The Love"  3:46
Toto
Los Angeles, CA

Bicycle dance routine. The bicycle peddled down Broadway Avenue unassisted. Rex, a bare chested muscular construction worker chased after the bike, running full speed. His hard hat blew into the wind and landed on the head of Gertrude. The bicycle was met by a blockade of bare chested men wearing tight blue jeans, vests, and carrying shovels. It was the union of the construction workers, the grave diggers union, and other forms of hot physical labor. They danced around the bike, choreographed moves of twirling shovels, spins, outrageous kicks, and stunts on the bike. A man jumped on the bike frame and fell off. Another landed improperly on the seat, clutching his crotch, he spun off and cracked his skull on the concrete. Other dancers were happy to assist him.

111. Kate Bush
"Wuthering Heights"  4:29
The Kick Inside
Bexleyheath, England/London, England

Diane stood in her bedroom gazing at herself in the mirror, brushing her long brown hair as she sang. She was not happy with the world as her world had been partially disrupted. The disturbance was more than she could bear. She pulled her hair back, zipped up the old western style blouse from behind- she had ultra-smooth shoulders, a nice chest, tremendous cleavage. She looked beautiful. However, beauty was no longer the primary interest. She placed a brown paper over her head and promenaded around the city wearing her elegant Victorian dress and bag over her head.

110. Atlanta Rhythm Section
"Imaginary Lover"  5:07
Champagne Jam
Atlanta, GA

Diaglo had come to Earth for a mission. The mission was disturbed. The disturbance was caused by a succulent young woman wearing a bag over her head. His over-sized mascot head turned when Diane walked by; she looked just like Betty. Diaglo is not a mascot. He is in his natural state; he was born this way. He does not wear a costume. The Diaglo, he is naked. He forgot about the mission as he followed Diana, fantasizing about how he would love to make love to what's inside the bag. He stood outside her window watching her.

109. Moondog
"High On A Rocky Ledge"  4:29
H'art Songs
Marysville, KS (1916)-Münster, Germany (1999)

Diaglo entered Diana's home without even knocking. He paid no heed to her complaints and frustrations as he went straight to her piano. He sat down and played her a song, he sang sweetly. She sat down beside him. The instant she sat on the pew, they were outside on top of a rocky plateau. It was twilight; the moon was full. Off in the distance, coyotes swayed back and forth, staring at the moon. Diaglo sang. There was grass at the top of the ledge, and now growing on top of the piano. Diana's disgust dwindled.

108. The Real Kids
"Just Like Darts"  4:39
The Real Kids
Boston, MA

Hal dug the grave. It wasn't anything special. He and his friends observed the hole. The funeral procession entered; people mourned. During the sermon, Diaglo brought his own shovel and filled in the grave. There were more important things at hand. The somber funeral party watched in awe at a seemingly smiling bear mascot filled the hole that was to be Lester's final resting place. Displaying super human strength, Diaglo dragged the coffin to a different section of the cemetery- the far corner. He stabbed the shovel into the ground and walked away.

107. The Police
"Roxanne"  3:11
Outlandos D'Amour
London, England

The mailman walked arm-in-arm with the blonde bombshell. A bicycle rode behind them, travelling the same pace as they. The blonde bombshell bore a brown paper bag. Several women standing on the street corner scantily dressed for work. Howard, still wearing his K-Mart smock, sang. As he followed, once again, the mailman was taken away on the bicycle. They embraced. Howard ripped the paper bag down the center revealing her face. Everybody removed their paper bags; they rustled in the wind.

106. R. Stevie Moore
"Apropos Joe"  3:10
Delicate Tension
Nashville, TN/Bloomfield, NJ

Rock and Roll bus driver Dowetta sped down the highway. An unmanned bicycle. There was but one passenger on the bus, Diaglo, who sat in the middle. Hal boarded- they stared at each other but did not speak. The mailman boarded, this was the dawning of a new revelation. The bus ramped over a cliff and soared high across the full moon; descended into sunshine on a rooftop in the city. They were greeted with a full parade- which had limited space parading on the rooftop. They marched around the squared ledge, holding banners, carrying signs, wearing party parade attire.

105. Nina Hagen Band
"Auf'm Friedhof"  6:14
Nina Hagen Band
Berlin, Germany

Diaglo gave the mailman a specific set of instructions and a letter to deliver. It was an important mission that defied ordinary. Carrying his knapsack, he emerged from 4646 lake Shore Drive and walked through the graveyard. He was joined by a monkey, a turtle, and a mole who walked with him. An unmarked grave that read "UNKNOWN" was illuminated with the red arrow sign that indicated "HERE." The mole dug, and the entire group, standing motionless, descended downward as if on an elevator. They returned with the unknown occupant of the grave who read the letter.

104. Johnny Thunders
"Daddy Rollin' Stone"  3:19
So Alone
New York, NY (1952)-New Orleans, LA (1991)

The unknown grave occupant boarded the Rock and Roll Bus Machine along with the monkey, the turtle, and the mole. There were specific directions in which Dowetta was supposed to follow. The monkey floored the gas pedal. Turn here. Here. They seemed far off course and were travelling down a road in which Dowetta was unfamiliar. Gas pedal floored, they eagerly awaited the moment. Jeb walked in the road pushing a lawn mower...and was mowed down, along with his lawn mower, at the precise moment in which was required.

103. Joan Armatrading
"Let It Last"  4:56
To The Limit
Basseterre, Saint Kitts and Nevis

After being struck down in the street, the man and his lawnmower were on board The Rock and Roll Bus Machine. A woman hanging from a noose from the ceiling of the bus came to life and sang. Jeb pushed the lawnmower to the back of the bus and took the seat beside where she was hanging. Nobody else was on the bus. She sang, he stared straight ahead. The monkey, turtle, and mole took the seat across the aisle. The bus was completely full-all passengers turned in their seats to stare attentively at Jeb and the singing hanging woman. Jeb stared towards the front of the bus, not not at any of them.
102. Pere Ubu
"Dub Housing"  3:43
Dub Housing
Cleveland, OH

4646 Lake Shore Drive was unoccupied without any person present. The telephone floated in the air and dialed itself. Split the screen diagonally. Room 23 of the hotel was unoccupied. Nobody was present except the phone, which rang, and was mysteriously answered by an invisible unknown. The receiver lifter and floated aimlessly in the air. Both phones floated straight up. Invisible callers. The phone of 4646 Lake Shore Drive set the phone down. The phone of the hotel hesitated, dangled the cord, then hung up also.
101. The Residents
"Part Three: Ship's A'Going Down"  6:38
Not Available
Shreveport, LA

The news was worse than expected. Ariel view of the Planet Earth towering higher as the planet appears smaller. Noomgu and Promtu stare at a television screen that only displayed the planet Earth. Diaglo monitored the planet from his window. On the surface, the beings walked happily. Beneath the surface, there was a major disturbance. Promtu picked up a phone and dialed, staring at the screen awaiting the answer.







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