Feature 1: 30 Days in a Ho'
Feature 2: Hate Boat
Feature 3: Together Forever
Feature 4: Space Hookers & The Cowboys of Texarkana
Feature 5: Symporium (A Midget Exploitation Film)
Feature 6: Sugar Daddy of Death
Feature 5: Symporium (A Midget Exploitation Film)
Press play on the image below to hear this selection of songs in this exact order.
50. Captain Beyond
"Sufficiently Breathless" 5:15
Los Angeles, CA
A new drug was invented in the Midget community. The drug, Symporium, had an effect users described as psychedelic heroin. It came in a white liquid form that was ingested orally and dissolved on the tongue. Symporium users experienced otherworldly pleasures while intoxicated on the drug, and usage of the drug was difficult to conceal.
Herbert Shackleford, a black midget resembling a modern day crackhead, experimented with the drug for the first time. He walked the urban streets populated entirely with midgets, stoned on Symporium. Everything seemed surreal; including the dazed look in his eyes, as he walked around staring at the psychedelic wonders created by the hallucinogenic that also acted as a depressant, slowing the heart rate and all bodily functions significantly. The streets were dirty and heavily populated, as Herbert sat on a flight of concrete steps observing the pedestrians who passed by in a euphoric psychedelic haze. There were also heavy hallucinations, ranging anywhere from blurring buildings, enhancement in colors of passing insects, and distorted visions that did not actually exist.
49. Secos & Molhados
"Primavera nos Dentes" 4:53
Secos & Molhados
São Paulo, Brazil
Drug use spread rapidly with the invention of Symporium. Midgets completely stoned from the new drug staggering along the streets became more frequent, as did parties in which people used the drug, sometimes mixing it with other drugs such as cocaine, marijuana, heroin, and whatever else happened to be available. The parties in which Symporium was abundant were often bizarre mind trips, featuring exotic films, unusual lighting, and conversations pertaining to the supernatural. Many users spoke slowly, in the same manner as total burn out, discussing offbeat topics, displaying eccentric behavior, and experiencing mind numbing hallucinations regardless of their surroundings.
48. Judee Sill
"The Vigilante" 3:51
Oakland, CA (1944)-Los Angeles, CA (1979)
As usage of the drug spread to most areas of the community, Chaz Axelrhodes, a black midget with a huge afro, refused to participate in the heavy use of the new drug. For that matter, Chaz did not use any drug and did not even consume alcohol. The sight of all of his neighbors whacked out on the new drug slightly troubled him. However, due to the fact that it became so popular, there was also the opportunity to make money distributing the product. He had been a dealer of other drugs in the past, even though he did not abuse them himself. Chaz was a tough guy, knew how to use a gun, a gangster, and had the ability to move the product without worrying about troubles from delinquents. Manufacturers of Symporium were ecstatic to employ Chaz Axelrhodes to move the product. Furthermore, he was capable of keeping the police out of the picture.
47. Curtis Mayfield
"Keep on Trippin'" 3:16
Back to the World
Chicago, IL (1942)-Roswell, GA (1999)
Chaz’s girlfriend, Wanda Wexler, was a slutty white girl (still a midget) with a chronic drug problem. She ran with Chaz because he always had drugs; he stayed with her for sex. When Chaz wasn’t running dope, he would sometimes pimp out Wanda Wexler (and several other midget sluts) for more money. Business was good, the Symporium was easy to distribute and sold rapidly for a decent price. It made Wanda satisfied, as she dressed in slutty clothes to satisfy her addiction. She was often seen wearing revealing shirts, completely unbuttoned or pulled up over her belly exposing the bottoms of her breasts, high on Symporium. Whenever she was high, and she was prone to use way more than the recommended dosage, she displayed erratic behavior, sometimes violent, as she would experience cosmic hallucinations, staggering around alleyways and narrow hallways under glowing lights.
"God Gave Rock and Roll to You" 6:46
Saint Albans, England
The money flowed in with heavy abundance. Chaz and his partner Lee Roy Walker (a white midget with long straight hair down past his shoulders who often wore pimp suits) banked thousands of dollars from running Symporium in the streets of the midget community. Lasers flashed across the purple skies that took a new form to the midget high of Symporium, Wanda Wexler laughed at her image as she pranced down the street gazing at herself in the mirrors, midgets fell down flights of steps and lied on the sidewalk, staring at nothing, smiling, talking to themselves. Lee Roy & Chaz’s apartment was full of stoned midget sluts, psychedelic artwork, a full bar, and an entire room dedicated to tripping on Symporium.
"Ooh La La" 3:30
Ooh La La
Malachi Stanford was an old school dope dealer who was significantly older than the other drug runners. He was street savvy and knew all the ropes for making more money and avoiding any heat from the police. The elderly midget, nearing the age of 60, had served some jail time, was known by the police, but was able to avoid any prolonged detainment. Once upon a time, he had been married, but that ended miserably. To him, whores made better companions because there was no real attachment, which he assumed had always been the case in any relationship. Bitches only wanted his money, he only wanted in that pussy. Therefore, he kept loads of cash, bags of dope, and had fucked every midget whore in the community. It was all he wanted, give these bitches some cash, a score of Symporium, fuck the shit out of them, smack ‘em around like the dirty hoes that they are, and throw them back out in the street. Malachi was the chief ally with Chaz Axelrhodes and Lee Roy Walker.
44. Bob Dylan
"Knockin' On Heaven's Door" 2:33
Pat Garrett & Billy the Kid
Duluth, MN/Malibu, CA
Within months of the invention of the new drug, Symporium claimed its first fatality down a back alley in the midget slum. Melvin Whitehead had been through the war and was struggling with daily life anyway. Once the Symporium became easily available, he developed a major habit. He was the first one to overdose on the drug, and the death was terrifying. Due to the intense hallucinogenic state induced by the drug, Melvin was experiencing nightmarish visions depicting the war coupled with struggles in regular society. He ingested far more than what was ever needed for five users and kept increasing his dosage throughout the night. In an alleyway crouched down behind a dumpster, Melvin Whitehead assumed he was in a trench, shouting commands and orders to people who were not present, and during the time his heart was gradually stopping from the overdose, he lied on the concrete thinking that he was burning from napalm that had been dealt to him from Vietnamese aliens.
43. Gram Parsons
Winter Haven, FL (1946)-Joshua Tree, CA (1973)
Shannon Lenin had far more talent than the average person of regular build. She possessed a wonderful singing voice, dance moves, and a multitude of other talents. However, her life was troubled from the day she was born. Aside from being born with dwarfism, her family struggled with financial hardships in a land in which opportunity never knocked once. After her folks died in a tragic accident involving an unruly herd of mules, and the farm was confiscated by the government, the beautiful young talented midget moved to the urban midget community with aspirations to someday become a superstar.
Unfortunately, buyers and talent agents often rejected her simply because of her size. As the troubles began to mount and her hopes and dreams began to vanish, Shannon Lenin turned to Symporium for relief. Even though she was constantly stoned on the drug, she still performed in small dive bars, but inner struggles with her own confidence and her drug habit was dwindling her desire to strive for her true potential. It was easier to stay high and forget about it all. There was something about the lovely midget, however, that struck the interest of Malachi, who at first enjoyed keeping her high but questioned the frequency of her habit.
42. The Seldom Scene
"Wait A Minute" 3:38
For the first time in decades, Malachi attempted to establish a meaningful relationship with a woman other than a whore for sex. He invited Shannon to his house frequently to hang out, listen to music, and sleep together in the same bed. However, she was still enamored with Symporium and struggling with various complications in her life. She discussed a desire to leave the midget community and travel to a new world with the desire to do something more suitable than abuse drugs and play at dive bars. Malachi tried to reach out to her, monitor her drug habit, but more than anything, wanted her to remain in the midget community…possibly with him. He established a goal for himself to make her lifestyle better.
41. Milton Nascimento
"Hoje e Dia De El Rey" 6:56
Milagre dos Peixes
Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
Rico sat in his room stoned out from the Symporium; it was a new batch that had been freshly created with new ingredients. The frog sitting on the table was green and appeared normal, although it was but a hallucination. It sat there, staring with bizarre eyes, breathing. The frog turned blue, its’ eyes became orange, yet it didn’t move. Then, the frog became an elephant, a blue elephant, with orange eyes. However, the frog was still there, dark navy blue, glowing orange eyes. A doctor entered the room in white clothes with a clipboard. She monitored the blue elephant, the frog that had turned blue, it symbolized the unimaginable… Symporium was poisonous. Dr. Helen Franks wrote it in her clipboard; she left to spread the warning. In the streets, people were getting sick and behaving mysteriously; some of them had turned blue. A navy blue midget was attempting to climb a gutter, but the pipe broke loose and fell backwards. Helen monitored this and took note of it in the clipboard. The hallucinations were dark and morbid.
40. Ennio Morricone
"Buona Fortuna Jack" 5:12
Il Mio Nome E Nussuno
Macabre images of midgets who had abused the new batch of Symporium dominated the streets. Lee Roy and Chaz walked the city slums seeing various midgets in the community passed out in the streets, spitting up in alleys, and acting strangely. A stampede of navy blue elephants and frogs paraded slowly down the main street of the midget ghetto, and then gradually seemed to pass by in slow motion. Neighbors were clutching the sides of their faces in terror. The sky turned a blood red and all of the atmosphere had a glowing red to it, except for the navy blue elephants and frogs, who promenade the streets with but a red tint from their navy blue skins. Swirling psychedelic images illuminated the walls at Chaz’s apartment; the Symporium had taken effect and all of the people inside were lying around on the floor experiencing deep hallucinations that their mind could barely cope.
39. Tim Buckley
"I Know I'd Recognize Your Face" 4:01
Washington, DC (1947)-Santa Monica, CA (1975)
Malachi’s former lover, Eleanor, arrived to the midget community in search of Malachi. She had not seen him in years and was in search of him to inform that he had a son who was now a grown boy. Eleanor was certain she’d know Malachi if she saw him, but instead saw a community plagued with a drug-induced disaster. There were midgets crawling in the streets high on Symporium as her search for answers was leading nowhere. Whenever she would ask a resident of the community of Malachi’s whereabouts, she was given irrelevant answers that made little sense. The person she encountered attempting to ward off a non-existent alligator, coupled with warnings of a supernatural danger both frightened her and aroused her curiosity. When she finally located Malachi, he was walking with Shannon Lenin and the two of them were acting strangely. She attempted to re-unite with Malachi just to find out that he had become a notorious dope dealer and was partially responsible with the madness taking place in the streets.
38. Elton John
"Bennie and the Jets" 5:23
Goodbye Yellow Brick Road
Chaz and Lee Roy travelled to a dance club in the tall people community for business, to sell Symporium to people outside the midget community. The dance club was raging in full swing and their connection, Todd, was able to move the product to most of the patrons. In the back room, Chaz and Lee Roy were proposing the drug to two white girls with long skinny legs, skimpy skirts, and slutty attire. While the dance floor was rocking, Chaz and Lee Roy dosed the two white girls who were willing to try this fabulous new drug. The effects were aphrodisiacal as they demonstrated lustful desires to the two midgets. Lee Roy was on the couch with one, and Chaz was in a chair with the other. As the drug took effect, Chaz took off the white girls shoes and kissed her feet, sucked her toes, and kissed up her bare leg. Lee Roy had pulled the other girl’s blouse down and was sucking on her titties.
The people were dancing frantically, moving wildly, courting one another, pulling off each other’s clothes, and falling down with flashbacks of terrifying visions. A navy blue elephant was perched in the corner and there was a navy blue frog resting on every table. In the back room, Lee Roy had his girl’s skirt hitched up and was mounting her doggie style; Chaz was fucking his girl on the couch—she was sitting with her legs spread wide and he was standing in-between her legs knocking out the way midget dope dealers get things done around here. Tables were being turned over in the main club area, frogs were hopping on the ground, and the dancers were vomiting on each other and licking it off bare chests. All of the lights were red and people were rolling on the floor unaware that they were even still at the dance club.
37. Lynyrd Skynyrd
"Tuesday's Gone" 7:33
Pronounced 'lĕh-'nérd 'Skin-'nérd
Shannon Lenin was lying on the bathroom floor underneath glowing red lights. Dr. Helen Franks was standing in the bath tub with her clipboard and she told Shannon that there was more to life than being raped and abused for drug money. Wanda Wexler entered the bathroom, stoned on Symporium, and agreed with the doctor. Malachi was beating on the door trying to get in; the images in the bathroom were nightmarish flashbacks of two troubled pasts; Dr. Helen Franks lectured the two frightened women that they had more to offer. When Malachi opened the door, the white lights did not mesh with the glowing red light and he was bombarded with leaping navy blue frogs. The two lovely midget ladies were getting sick in the bathroom, but those were but flashbacks. In-between those horrifying flashbacks, the two girls were scurrying through a subway station with a purse and a suitcase. That hardcore Symporium trip would be their last as they boarded the train and walked from this miserable life forever.
36. Frederick Knight
"I've Been Lonely For So Long" 3:15
I've Been Lonely For So Long
Malachi awoke underneath bright white lights. In fact, bright white lights filled the entire house and everything appeared white and empty. The walls were white, the ceiling white, the floors white, and there was not one item in the entire household. He stumbled outside and the sun was white, the grass was white, and the streets were glowing white. Amidst all of the white were a bunch of people lying around on the streets with navy blue faces and navy blue frogs hopping along the bright white sidewalks. Shannon was one potential love, and she was gone. Eleanor was also nowhere to be found either. It was discovered that Shannon had split town along with Wanda Wexler. He had missed out on a lot during his last exotic trip into the land of Symporium. Reportedly, Eleanor was still in town. “Maybe I’ll go fuck that bitch?”
35. David Essex
"Rock On" 3:27
Lee Roy and Chaz returned to the midget community with a score of cash. However, their neighborhood nowhere near resembled the community they had once left. Wanda was gone and did not even leave a note, just some mysterious doctor dressed in white seated in sofa with a clipboard full of descriptions. There were reports of a great tragedy that had occurred at a dance club, the same dance club in which they scored the cash. The police were trailing them and were in the midget community with a search warrant. They gathered all of the drugs, a large sum of money, and placed them in a briefcase. As they were leaving, the police were en route to their house. Chaz fired a few shots in their direction; a brief shootout ensued in which there were no injuries. They escaped and fled the community.
34. The Temptations
Matilda Wisecoach had given up on life and resorted to abusing drugs in the back alleys of the midget community. The recent excursion into the mind trip of Symporium left her unconscious behind a dumpster. Larry Nelson always loved Matilda and rescued her from her drugged out stupor. He lifted her up and carried her away from the alleyway. The two spent the next day together as Larry was attempting to free her from the Symporium addiction. He bought her a nice meal and took her to his home where he comforted her and they watched movies together on the couch. It was a nice rendezvous in which the lights in Larry’s house gradually went from glowing red to a soft white. The two midget lovebirds sat on the couch with humungous creepy looking smiles for the rest of the day.
33. Daryl Hall & John Oates
"She's Gone" 5:16
Unfortunately, the past cannot be undone too easily. Matilda engaged in lustful deceit in order to steal money from Larry’s wallet to purchase Symporium. After she got good and stoned, the aphrodisiac nature of the drug took effect and she tried to fuck Larry while lying on the couch. He was a male with a sex drive, so he was eagerly willing to fulfill her sexual desires. She unbuttoned his shirt and rubbed on his nipples while they kissed. During the kiss, her pretty brown eyes began glowing orange. Larry was so horny that he did not mind and continued to undress her. Matilda’s skin was navy blue; she had navy blue titties, a navy blue pussy, and a navy blue ass. Despite the fact that she was navy blue with creepy glowing orange eyes, Larry fucked her anyway. Despite the fact that he fucked her anyway, he felt uneasy about the whole thing and concerned for her well-being. Somehow he knew that she was too far gone; something that we all simply have to embrace every time we fuck somebody who is navy blue with glowing orange eyes.
"Radio Gnome Invisible" 5:32
Outside in the streets of the midget community, a majority of the residents had turned navy blue with glowing orange eyes. All of the porch lights were on at every house and the porch light was red. The street lights were red. Navy blue hookers stalked these streets glowing in the red lights. Because of the navy blue skin, the glowing orange eyes, and the glowing red lights, the hallucinatory effects from the drug became more intense. A constant still image of a mushroom cloud just before it detonates took precedent in the streets, as navy blue midgets walked in, out, and around the still image explosion experiencing disturbing hallucinations ranging from bats circling the mushroom clouds, bright white arms and hands reaching out from the street, spaceships collapsing from the sky, to distorted images of deranged faces, contorted bodies, slurred speech, and psychedelic patterns.
"Da Zeuhl wortz Mekanïk" 7:48
Mekanïk Destruktïw Kommandöh
The police who were searching for Lee Roy and Chaz reported the problem as a potential epidemic, unaware that the drugs had already been sold outside the midget community. In order to prevent this madness from spreading, they were awarded permission to quarantine the midget community. An army of enforcement officers stretched barbed wire around the midget ghetto, all the way around the nuclear cloud, and the glowing red lights. It looked like a prison camp, with navy blue midgets attempting to escape from the barbed wire caging just to be suppressed with police brutality. Navy blue elephants attempted to stampede the white wall that now surrounded the red city. But, it was to no avail as the building turned black with red lights emitting from the windows. Owls and night hawks flocked to the roofs perched on the telephone wires surveying the streets with their glowing orange eyes. As the mushroom cloud began to gradually expand, the streets quaked and those stoned on the Symporium grasped hold of the hands growing out of the concrete to prevent falling into the sess pool of navy blue frogs.
30. Lou Reed
"The Kids" 5:55
New York, NY
An evacuation committee entered the ghetto to confiscate all of the children. The parents with glowing orange eyes and navy blue skin were robbed of their kids and beaten mercilessly by the police. Navy blue women were dragged out of their homes by their hair and forced to kneel down in the middle of the street while the police rounded up the children and placed them in the back of a wagon. This debacle stirred uproar as citizens of the community threw rocks at the police, the wagon, and child services. A riot squad was brought in to suppress the riot as they beat down the navy blue midgets in the streets while the bats circled around the beatings. While the women were forcefully being dragged outside on the streets, images flashed depicting their promiscuous behavior, their heavy drug use, and other acts considered unacceptable to ordinary society.
29. Roxy Music
"In Every Dream Home A Heartache" 5:29
For Your Pleasure
The confiscated children were placed in an orphanage and gradually taken to other residents within the town. However, there was a red light in the orphanage, the foster parents were abusive, navy blue frogs lurked in the bathroom, and the children lived as if they were in a prison cell that resembled solitary confinement. When people entered the orphanage, they appeared white and happy. While they were filling out the paperwork, the lights turned red, and images flashed depicting these seemingly proper parents engaging in crude acts that 99% of the world has done as well; the mom with glowing orange eyes sucking his dick in the bedroom, him ravaging a secretary, snorting lines of cocaine, and her kissing a navy blue frog while both eyes glowed orange.
28. Steely Dan
"Show Biz Kids" 5:26
Countdown to Ecstasy
Los Angeles, CA
Even though the ghetto had been quarantined, people were showing up at random places with glowing orange eyes. Furthermore, Chaz & Lee Roy had escaped. The two were traveling the country running the last of the dope for cash and eventually settling in a new community. They had made hundreds of thousands of dollars and were able to live like comfortable pimps. Lee Roy and Chaz became the ruling drug lords of their new community and cash was flowing just as regularly. However, the F.B.I. had deemed them a menace to society and hired an assassin to destroy their drug cartel for good.
27. Arthur Brown's Kingdom Come
Hugo Chavez was a Mexican midget with dark complexion and a thick mustache. He was paid top dollar to track down Chaz and Lee Roy and exterminate them by any means possible. Armed with twin hand guns and dressed in an elegant suit, Mr. Chavez toured the country in search of the two criminals. His visit to the quarantined midget community was met with much sadness and he expressed his concerns to the mayor; his concerns were a spew of clichés and the mayor hardly understood a word of it because Hugo Chavez did not speak good English and the mayor could not speak Spanish. His rant led to him standing on the chair, shouting some bullshit about saving the children, and shooting at the ceiling of the mayor’s office.
He remembered the Vietnam War. It was a dreary battle and he was the only midget in his platoon. Furthermore, he was asked to side with the Vietnamese because he was a Mexican and not an American citizen. Then, he was asked to leave the country because nobody knew where he really stood.
“I’ll show where I stand now,” he said to the mayor speaking to him in a phone booth in a different part of the city. He emerged from the phone booth and fired rounds into the sky and shouted, “I’ll show all of you where I stand!”
Around that time, Lee Roy and Chaz turned the corner to see this whacked out Mexican midget with a thick mustache shooting bullets into the air. Hugo Chavez recognized them, he knew that afro anywhere. He drew his gun and held it outstretched at the two drug dealers as he approached them, demanding that stop walking, immediately.
Lee Roy looked at Chaz, wondered who the fuck this crazy Mexican midget was, drew their guns, and shot Victor Chavez dead in the street. He was trampled by a stampede of navy blue elephants.
"Future Days" 9:31
The President stood at the podium to give a speech. There was now an epidemic, an outbreak of a drug called Symporium that needed disposed. He declared war on this drug, as he pocketed a stash of money into his wallet. He insisted the streets needed cleaning to improve family values, as he ingested the drug onto his tongue. He told the citizens of the country that the police will stop at nothing until this madness is absolved, as the police were taking a payoff from Chaz and Lee Roy. He warned the outstanding citizens about the dangers and harmful effects of this new drug; he stood at the podium with glowing orange eyes. The navy blue senators stood up and applauded the speech. The porch light at The White House glowed red as an array of navy blue frogs swarmed the White House lawn.
END CREDITS 5: Uriah Heep
"Circle of Hands" 8:51
Top Image by: http://files.myopera.com/TimoP/albums/189994/midget.jpg
Bottom image found on yahoo images while searching David Essex Rock On (seriously)