The Top 125 Traxxx of 2005

The Mind over Matter Experiment + The Top 200 Songs of 2005
Part 1: Family Values in America
Part 2: The Oblivious Barnes Family
Part 3: The Lunch That Changed Everything
Part 4: Chickens are Extinct
Part 5: Masturbation is a Sin!
Part 6: Cracks in the Foundation
Part 7: Dr. Shaw's Party & The Aftermath That Ensued
Part 8: Disaster Finally Strikes

Part IV: Chickens are Extinct

Press play on the image below to hear this selection of songs in this exact order.

125. Damon & Naomi
"Beautiful Close Double"  3:53
The Earth Is Blue
Boston, MA

Tonya had previously hated Tristen for a variety of reasons. Although Tristen did not say things he knew would intentionally shock somebody or hurt their feelings, Tonya was one exception. Tonya once overheard him talking with others in the lunchroom and complained to management about his comments because she found them unacceptable. Once word got back to Tristen about what Tonya had said, he no longer cared what he said around her and often hoped she would try to get into an argument with him.

124. Montag
"Grand Luxe"  3:22
Alone, Not Alone
Montreal, QC, Canada

However, aside from the backseat incident, there was another slight turning point. Even though Tonya didn’t like him, due to the fact everyone else did, she refrained from getting into heated arguments with him and tried to remain civil or just ignore him. Occasionally, she would attempt to like him if he was discussing something funny with the entire group. But one time, Tonya mentioned how it was wrong for people to use obscene language and how bad television and radio was getting and how she didn’t want her kids hearing this language.

123. Four Tet
"Smile Around The Face"  4:34
Everything Ecstatic
London, England

“Who gives a shit?” Tristen told her.

She was angered but didn’t respond.

“For real, who was it that came up with the notion that certain words should be considered obscene and why should anybody have to listen to that person? For all I know, that person was an asshole. Don’t you people research the backgrounds of those trying to dictate how you should run your life? I don’t do things just because someone said. Or it said. Or they said on TV.”

“Yeah,” argued Elaine, not Tonya who initially perpetrated the argument, “but what about kids? You don’t want your kids cussing.”

“Why not?” he was completely calm. “I don’t care if kids cuss, there’s nothing wrong with it. The whole concept that certain words are bad is a fabricated concept, and a foolish one at that, created by some imbecile whom I’m guessing was considered a loser by all of his peers. And yes, I’m sure it was a man. Only a man would try to establish that much control to where he thinks he has the right to tell intelligent human beings that we have to correspond with whatever words he deems appropriate and whatever words he feels aren’t appropriate. If I ever saw this dude, I’d tell him to go fuck himself right to his face.”

Tonya and Elaine looked at him dumbfounded.

Neither of them had a response. Elaine was outraged, and surprisingly, Tonya wasn’t. Elaine merely ignored him. Tonya however, thought about the logic behind his statements and hoped to conjure a theory that could prove him wrong. But, the more she thought of it, the more she thought him to be right and maybe even found his theory brilliant in its own special way. Furthermore, part of her admired the fact that he was not going to just bow down to society’s standards- something she had always done. However, she never told anybody this.

It could also be the impact this issue had upon her why she suddenly had sexual urges for Tristen in the backseat of a car two weeks later.

122. Asian Dub Foundation
"Warring Dhol"  5:55
London, England

“We got those pork chops in there,” Doug loved pork chops and at his request they ate pork chops almost every night. The entire freezer was full of family sized packages of pork chops.

Tonya was definitely not in the mood to start now for she had just got home from work and, like him, wished to sit down and relax for a bit. Generally, she would have gone right in and started dinner, but that day was different. She went into the living room, sat on the couch, took of her shoes, and stretched out her legs and rubbed her toes on the carpet. She slouched back on the couch and did absolutely nothing.

“Hon,” Doug finally interrupted her resting period after about two minutes.

“Yes,” she answered.



She arose and went to the kitchen. The kids were off somewhere and thankfully, Melissa was sleeping. She retrieved a pack of chops out of the freezer and placed them in the microwave to unthaw. As they were unthawing, she thought how she might like to experience that orgasmic sensation again sometime. Maybe this was how she should have always been feeling and she should be feeling this for Doug. After all, a woman is supposed to have feelings for her husband. Tonya snuck around the side of the kitchen and looked in the living room at Doug. She was very careful, making sure he didn’t spot her. Why she didn’t want him to see her was unknown. She stared at his face, and looked at his eyes. She checked out his body. She looked him over for about a minute or so. Nothing. He simply didn’t do it for her the way Tristen did.

Doug, simply put, was not beautiful. He was overweight, unstylish, and his body was so hairy it could be combed. He was developing what was called “man-boobs” and some wondered if Bean had ever titty fucked him. His feet were extremely ugly and stunk worse than spoiled cole slaw. Not only did his feet stink, but whenever he took a shit it stunk up the bathroom for over an hour. He never courtesy flushed and always left stray ass hairs stuck to the toilet seat that Tonya had to clean off. He farted a lot too. If asked, 95% of the women in the world would not have slept with Doug for under $100,000. But Doug was the father of her kids, the head of the household, and the person she thought she loved. Why couldn’t this man make her body tingly the way it felt earlier from just looking at Tristen.

121. Wolfmother
"Apple Tree"  3:32
Sydney, Australia

Melissa started crying.

“Fuck,” she thought as soon as she heard her.

“That baby’s crying again,” Doug shouted out not arising from his seat. “Just bring her down here, and I’ll watch her while you cook.”

As she went upstairs to get the baby, it dawned on her that she had just used the “f” word for the first time in her life. What had come over her? First, thoughts of sexual lust, now profanity. She wandered if perhaps she had been possessed by Satan.

Melissa was still crying and Tonya wasn’t in the mood for her either. She loved her family though. Every day since she had been married, every day since the birth of her children, her sole purpose in life was to make them happy, and she accepted that. However, today, she was not in the mood for any of them. In fact, she snuck quietly past Darrin and Dakota’s rooms hoping they wouldn’t see her.

Tonya brought the baby back downstairs, handed her to Doug, and went back to the kitchen to cook. Doug immediately put Melissa into her crib where she cried and cried and he simply ignored her. Tonya heard her, but was busy cooking.

“I think her diaper needs changed,” Doug yelled out into the kitchen.

She would have loved for him to change it. She turned the stove down and went into the living room. Doug had untaped Melissa’s diaper and saw there was shit everywhere.

“Yup,” he said to Tonya as soon as she entered the room, “she went pooh-pooh.”

“Did she?”

“I’ll let you change that,” Doug declared as he sat back down in his chair.

120. Common
"Be"  2:24
Chicago, IL

She went in to get a diaper, stopping momentarily to check the food and stir whatever needed to stirring. Melissa cried the whole time and she hurried back to her. She picked up her pace and sped back into the living room and changed the diaper. Melissa shit superlatively and it was all over the place. Tonya had to use extra wipes and even got some on her hands.

As she returned to kitchen, with the dirty diaper in her hand, she noticed the food was burning. She quickly tossed the diaper in the trash, raced over and flipped the chops and stirred everything else again. After that, she went to the sink and washed the baby shit off her hands. Melissa still cried.

The family came down and ate at the table. Doug and Dakota complained about some of the food being burnt- it burnt while she was changing Melissa’s diaper. Melissa cried the entire time and Tonya had to keep getting up to do something for her. Tonya had to put up with this every single night.

Once everybody ate, they all went and sat down to watch TV and talked about how someday they should all get together and go fishing for croppy with Bean. Melissa cried the whole time. Tonya had to clear the table and do the dishes. While doing so, she had to manage Melissa and attempt to keep her from crying. Most of these attempts failed. In the living room, Doug, Dakota, and Darrin congregated amongst themselves about what to watch. Nothing they ever watched interested to Tonya whatsoever. April found none of it too interesting either, but watched it joyfully just to be with the family. Tonya generally did too for she had to put up with it every night.

119. Kaiser Chiefs
"I Predict A Riot"  3:53
Leeds, England

Tonight, she did not feel like putting up with it. She did not feel like watching a show that demonstrated hippies putting together a motorcycle and a bunch of overweight bearded men riding them.

“I’m going to go on upstairs,” she told everyone.

“What?” Doug was in disbelief. “The motorcycle show is on.”

“Yeah”, she noticed, “I’m not in the mood to watch it tonight.”

“How can you not like the motorcycle show,” Dakota too was in shock.

“Yeah,” Doug chimed in, “I figured we’d all watch it and spend some time together as a family.”

“You guys go ahead, I’m kind of tired and I’m going to go lay down.”

They all looked up at her as if she was nuts. Then, Melissa started crying again.

“Melissa, shut up!” commanded Dakota.

“Take her with you,” said Darrin.

“Yeah hon,” said Doug, “go ahead and take the baby and put her to sleep too.”

Then, the commercials ended, the show started back up, and they all ignored Tonya and Melissa and focused their full undivided attention on the television program. Tonya scooped up the baby and went upstairs.

118. Fingers Cut Megamachine
"Laughs Per Minute"  3:08
Fingers Cut Megamachine
Los Angeles, CA

She put Melissa into her crib upstairs and coaxed her into sleeping. Then, she went into her bedroom to lie on the bed.

Once again, her thoughts returned to her orgasm. She recalled how good it felt and got turned on just thinking about it. She wasn’t engaged in any sort of sexual fantasy; she simply recollected how the orgasm felt and how much she’d enjoy having another one.

She unbuttoned and unzipped her pants. She guided her hand down her panties and began fondling herself. Her entire body became aroused as she passionately rubbed her clitoris. Her pussy was nearly as wet now as it was earlier. She thought of Tristen, and once again felt her pussy pulsating as she continued to caress her clit.

Then, Doug opened the door.

“Hey hon,” he said as he barged in, “why don’t you come on out, Bean’s here.”

As he spoke Melissa awoke and started crying.

“Okay,” she said to Doug.

He shut the door and she heard him tromp downstairs.

“Fuck,” she thought again, “what the fuck do I give a shit if Bean’s here?”

She gathered the crying Melissa and returned downstairs. Dakota, as soon as he heard Melissa crying, instantly went upstairs to his room.

“I’m not in the mood to deal with that tonight,” he said as he went upstairs.

117. The Zincs
"Beautiful Lawyers"  5:02
Chicago, IL

“Hello Tonya,” said Bean with a smile as Tonya entered the room.

“Hi Bean,” she replied.

“Looks like she’s a fussing tonight,” Bean said in reference to Melissa.

“Anymore,” Doug chimed in, “she’s always like that.”

“Yeah, she does cry a lot,” Tonya agreed. “We got lucky with April, who was always quiet. But this one is the exact opposite.”

“Bean,” inquired Doug, “would you like something to drink? A glass of Ginger Ale or something?”

“Sure,” he answered, “I’ll have a glass of cranberry juice.”

“Hon,” Doug said to Tonya while he was sitting in the chair doing nothing and she was busy trying to get Melissa to stop crying, “Could you get Bean a glass of cranberry juice? And I’ll take a strawberry soda pop”

There are many women in the world, many of which work in the exact same place as Tonya would hear that and reply: “Get up and get the shit yourself you lazy ass nigger!”

But not Tonya, she got up, carrying Melissa, and got the drinks.

“Mom,” blurted out Darrin, “get me one too.”

She re-entered the living carrying an armful of drinks in one arm and a crying baby in the other. She sat back down, changed the diaper, and then put Melissa in the crib and put a bottle in her mouth.

116. Mando Diao
"Kingdom & Glory"  4:14
Hurricane Bar
Stockholm, Sweden

She sat down and paid attention to the conversation at first.

“That one’s a good boy,” Doug said to Bean speaking of Darrin. “He wants to join the military and go over there to Iraq and kill all them terrorists.”

Something about that sentence did not sit right with Tonya. She didn’t want her son going off to war and the thought of him doing so bothered her. She was worried he wouldn’t make it back alive. But, she didn’t respond. She hoped it would be one of those things that were forgotten about for Darrin was only 13 and perhaps the war may be over by the time he enlisted. Then, she wondered if it was right to encourage killing people to a boy so young.

Had she always done this? She was trying to think back to other times in which the war was brought up and if she had discussed killing other people with her son. Then she thought of Dr. Shaw and his perspective of war and how he would disapprove of such a statement.

115. Apollo Sunshine
"Phyliss"  4:10
Apollo Sunshine
Boston, MA

Quietly, she drifted away from their conversation. She didn’t pay them much attention, only when occasionally one of them would speak to her. Even then, her answers were quick. She had no idea why she was summoned to be down here just because Bean came over. Doug never stuck around whenever she and Elaine got together and discussed things they enjoyed talking about. She did not want to be down here conversing about meaningless bullshit with Bean. She was perfectly fine upstairs fantasizing about having an orgasm.Thinking of it again brought the tingling sensation back to her. She felt the pulsating in her pants again as her pussy sensually throbbed. She hoped the succulent juices dripping from her aroused pussy wouldn’t seep through her pants.

She couldn’t wait for Bean to leave. In fact she wished everybody would have left. She would’ve done anything to be alone and take care of her situation the way she desired. The hornier she got, the more annoying everybody else seemed. The stronger her desire grew to stick her hand down her pants, the more pointless Doug’s comments grew. She eventually grew irritated with everyone in the room. She either disagreed with everything they said or found them inanely stupid. Finally, she got up and went to the bathroom.

“While you’re up,” Doug said to her, “grab me, Bean and Darrin another drink will ya.”

Without responding, she headed straight for the bathroom. There were no intentions of using the bathroom; she just needed to get away for a moment. Also, she was somewhat confused as to what was happening. Her family had never annoyed her like this before. Furthermore, she never disagreed with Doug this much ever. She was even frustrated with her own kids, and that had never happened.

Her vagina was still craving climax. She unbuttoned and unzipped her pants and slid her fingers down into her panties. She cooed as she rubbed her clit and felt how wet her pussy was. She desperately needed to masturbate right there in the bathroom.

But, she thought about the moral aspects of it. Was it wrong to masturbate? Especially, when her husband, his friend, and her son were right in the next room? Then, she applied Tristen’s logic on profanity to the current situation. Who said it was wrong to masturbate? Why should she listen to this person? Was it wiser to listen to Tristen? And masturbate thinking about him as well?

She resisted and went back into the living room.

114. Keren Ann
"Chelesa Burns"  4:14
Caesarea, Israel

“Did you get the drinks?” Doug asked in a tone as if he was disturbed that she had forgotten.

“Nope,” she said as she went back for them.

“Well, you better go get them,” he ordered. He was a little agitated by his wife’s behavior tonight obviously. Generally, she was a good hostess and participated in their conversations or had acted in good humor while they all made fun of her for being a girl and knowing little about auto mechanics. Tonight though, he could tell she was uninterested and it wasn’t very polite to act this way around guests.

She returned with drinks and passed them around.

“It’s a good thing Bean wasn’t dying of thirst,” he said sarcastically referring to the lengthy amount of time it took for the drinks to arrive, “we might have had to call the hospital.”

“You mean you would have actually got up off that chair to use the phone?” She said so spontaneously that it was almost an accident. “Then we probably would have had to call Ripley’s Believe It or Not as well.”

Bean laughed. Darrin smiled. Doug was embarrassed and angered.

“Do I need to remind whose house you are living in?” he asked her in all seriousness.

Afterwards, a zillion statements would race through her mind regarding what she would like to have said. However, right then, she worried she might upset him. She did not want to make him even more. Furthermore, she was in no mood to argue. So she just laughed. “No.”

“I didn’t think so,” he sternly said.

“Ah,” said Bean trying to calm situation, “it’s all right. She was just funning with you. She got ya though, you got to admit.”

“Yeah whatever,” Doug responded.

113. Bruce Springsteen
"All I'm Thinkin' About"  4:23
Devils & Dust
Freehold, NJ

They returned to their previous conversation. It was the weekend, which meant Bean was going to be here longer than usual. She tried to think of ways to get out of the situation.

She thought maybe she could tell them she was sick and needed to go lie down. Maybe, she needed to go to the store to get something. But what? She could say Bean drank all the cranberry juice and she didn’t want him to die of thirst so she was going out to get more. That wouldn’t work.

For hours, she contemplated schemes to get out. During that time, she was asked six times to get up and get various things for Bean, Doug, and Darrin. Dakota even came down and he requested favors as well.

She had it schemed to where she was going to tell Doug she needed to go to the store to get some ointment to ail a nagging itch she had on the back of her leg. Periodically, she even scratched her leg and pretended it itched. She figured this also enabled her to stay gone longer for she could say that it took a significantly long time to locate the ointment in the store. She eagerly awaited the right moment to inform the group she was leaving.

But, the moment never came. The entire time she waited for the moment, she also had visions of herself having another orgasm. She pictured Tristen in her head and that got her even more stirred up.

112. Ryan Adams
"Cold Roses"  4:36
Cold Roses
Jacksonville, NC/New York, NY

Then, right as she was about to announce she was going to the store to buy some itch cream, Bean made an announcement.

“Well guys,” he said, “it’s been fun, but I’m heading on home.”

“Thank God,” Tonya thought.

“Already,” Doug said looking at the clock. “Stick around; we can put in a movie or something.”

Tonya was praying he would decline.

“Nah,” he said to Tonya’s joy, “I got to get on out of here. I have to get up early and go help my neighbor move a couch.” He was lying. In actuality, he wanted to go home and make sweet love to his own couch.

“All right,” Doug said, “well you know.”

He couldn’t just let him leave. The goodbye dragged out for several minutes. It’s not like Bean was going off to war or anything. Nor was it as if Bean had not been around in years. Bean was there practically every night and would more than likely be there again tomorrow. Hell, the fucker drank six glasses of cranberry juice and the bottle was almost empty.

“God, just leave,” Tonya thought to herself.

Finally, he did. As he walked out the door, Darrin went upstairs to his room. Melissa woke up and started crying. Tonya picked her up and put a bottle in her mouth and tried to get her to stop. Doug walked outside with Bean.

He came back in and said to Tonya as she was feeding Melissa, “don’t you ever embarrass me like that in front of the kids again. I didn’t appreciate that.”

“Okay,” said Tonya stunned that he said that.

“That was very rude,” he told her. He sat back down in the chair and watched the television without saying anything else.

He was obviously agitated. Right then however, she didn’t care as much as she would have in the past. It was a strange night. In fact, she was delighted he was angered at her for now she could go off and be away from him.

But she didn’t want him too angry.

“I’m sorry for being rude tonight,” she told him. “It wasn’t intentional.”

“All right,” he said, “I forgive ya.”

“All right then,” she responded, “well I’m going to bed.”

“Good night,” he said not turning from the television.

111. The White Stripes
"I'm Lonely (But I Ain't That Lonely Yet)"  4:20
Get Behind Me Satan
Detroit, MI

Tonya went upstairs and put Melissa to bed, which took some time. Afterwards, she went into her bedroom and undressed for bed. It felt so good to undress. She caressed her body and rubbed her fingers along her breasts; she put on a nightgown with no panties underneath, brushed her teeth, then lied down on the bed. Her pussy was still wet as she touched it and began fondling herself again. She spread her legs wide and pleasurably stroked her clit. All she could think of was how good an orgasm would feel. She wasn’t even thinking about sex.

Then Doug came in and that ruined everything. She ceased masturbating immediately and pretended like she was just scratching her leg. That fabricated story about the itch cream came in handy after all.

Tonya was still lying awake on the bed. Doug fell asleep almost instantly. He didn’t even brush his teeth, fucking scum.

110. Bright Eyes
"Landlocked Blues"  5:48
I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning
Omaha, NE

Thoughts of Tristen entered her mind as well as feelings of guilt for being sexually attracted to someone other than her husband. She peered over at Doug who was snoring noisily, and suddenly felt compassion for Doug just then…actually felt sorry for him. Tonya couldn’t forebear the fact she was attracted to Tristen. The more her body yearned the orgasm it desperately required, resisting thoughts of her and Tristen together became an arduous task. Something in her mind reminded her that it was wrong to have sexual encounters with any other person other than her spouse. Plus, she disliked Tristen. It was impossible for the two to ever amount to anything.

109. Black Rebel Motorcycle Club
"Gospel Song"  4:32
San Francisco, CA

So, she fantasized that she and Tristen were walking out of the hospital at the exact same time. Suddenly, some freaks in a van kidnapped them and injected them with some strange drug that sedated them until they arrived to the home were the kidnappers kept them hostage, locked in a bedroom together.

The kidnappers informed them that they had been carefully selected to be the ones to conceive a child for them because the kidnappers were unable to have children. To be certain Tristen and Tonya performed their duties, the kidnappers expected the two of them to have sex every day until the baby was born. If they didn’t cooperate, the kidnappers, who were watching from behind double-sided mirrors, would kill them and their families.

Tonya envisioned herself and Tristen in the room looking confused, and looking around for an escape route. She pictured the two of them looking at each other strangely and even figured it would be awkward at first. But, they gradually inched close enough to each other and looked into each other’s eyes. She pictured his eyes and remembered how they affected her earlier that day. Finally, they kissed.

At first, it was just a tap kiss, and an awkward one at that. They simply brushed lips in order to make contact with each other. But their lips remained close to each others’ and their breath warmed each other’s mouths. The second kiss was much more passionate. When she envisioned her tongue entering his mouth, her vagina throbbed once again.

She pictured him unbuttoning her blouse and sucking on her nipples, as she removed all of her clothes and spread out completely naked on the floor. She imagined him taking off his clothes and pictured him to have the perfect body.

This was her first ever sexual fantasy. Therefore, there were far less details than the average sexual fantasy. She had never explored her own body, and was unsure what she actually liked. She was naïve towards sex, and unaware various positions actually existed. She ingenuously pictured him getting on top of her, sliding his penis in her vagina, and humping vigorously for two minutes as opposed to the 36 seconds she had been accustomed to. However, she envisioned herself enjoying herself much more than with Doug and imagined Tristen bringing her to climax almost instantly.

108. Håkan Hellström
"Gårdakvarnar Och Skit"  5:30
Ett Kolikbarns Bekännelser
Göteborg, Sweden

The moment she imagined herself having an orgasm, she almost had one in reality just lying there motionless in the bed. Her legs fluttered and she worried Doug would awaken. Slowly, she ascended from the bed and crept to the bathroom silently as possible.

“Where you going?” Doug asked not even opening his eyes.

“To the bathroom,” she whispered back.

She entered the bathroom, turned on the light, and locked the door. She pulled up her gown noticed the wetness of her pussy and even saw cum dripping down her leg. It excited her to see her vagina that way for she knew what was getting ready to happen.

107. Settlefish
"The Second Week Of Summer"  2:12
The Plural of the Choir
Bologna, Italy

The sexual fantasy picked up where it had left off. She pictured Tristen on top of her fucking her intensely as she was moaned in ecstasy. Once again, the thought alone almost made her really have one.

As soon as she rubbed her clit, the tingling sensation spread over body. She stopped, but the tingling sensation intensified. She was on the verge of having her second ever orgasm and reached the stage where nothing could be done to stop it. Her knees were shaking, her pussy was pulsating and ready to erupt. This time, she tried to hold it in for just a few more seconds so she could prolong the pleasure.

She flushed the toilet to conceal the noise.

As she proceeded to erotically rub her clit, her whole body tensed up and quivered voluptuously as she reached climax. Her fingers grew wet and sticky as she continued to nurture her clit and finger herself until the sensation of the orgasm finished. When it did, she smiled and went back to bed where Doug was lying sound asleep and didn’t hear a thing.

106. Oasis
"Lyla"  5:13
Don't Believe The Truth
Manchester, England

Day one of Tonya’s post-orgasmic life began blissfully, typical for first time experiencers. She woke up in a good mood and prepared to go out and face a new day.

“You getting ready to make breakfast?” asked Doug more so hinting he was hungry.

“No,” she said, “I don’t feel like cooking to be honest with you. Let’s go out for breakfast.”

“We got food here,” Doug declared. “We could have pork chops and eggs.”

“Nah,” she declared, “Let’s go out.”

“Baby,” he pleaded, “that’s expensive. It’s senseless for us to go out when we have food here. It won’t take you that long to cook something.”

“I have money,” she declared. “I work too you know.”

Doug looked at her strangely. Generally, she merely listened to him and obeyed without questioning him. She never insisted her money be put to use for things that may be of interest to her.

Dakota entered the kitchen. Actually, Tonya was glad to see him for she knew he’d be on her side on this issue. Somehow, she knew exactly how to play the cards into her favor for that day, she was suddenly able to see things more clearly.

“What’s for breakfast,” he asked his mother.

“I was hoping we could all go out for breakfast, but your father doesn’t want to.”

“Yeah,” Dakota said excitedly, “let’s go out to eat. We don’t ever go out to eat.”

“I agree,” Tonya stated, proud she was able to turn Dakota against Doug “we all work hard all week, even Dakota. Let’s all go out for breakfast. Let’s face it, cooking sucks.”

“Yeah dad, you can’t torture mom.”

“All right,” Doug sighed, “that’s fine I guess. We’ll all go out, but just this once.”

105. Turbonegro
"City of Satan"  5:43
Party Animals
Oslo, Norway

The Barnes’ abandoned their happy home and traveled eight minutes across town to their favorite restaurant. At the restaurant, and upon being seated in the non-smoking section, they ordered drinks and relatively normal food.

At the table, Doug controlled the conversation, mostly asking Darrin and Dakota what they were doing in school. April chimed in periodically, but nobody paid her any attention. Even her four minute monologue, where she went into great detail about how her doll Becky was going to burn down the local post office if she wasn’t hired, went unnoticed.

Tonya didn’t pay any of them any attention, and observed the other people in the restaurant instead. She had never done this before for she normally devoted all of her attention to her family and attempted to participate in their conversations even though she didn’t fit in.

She noticed many people were eating lunch items and it occurred to her they were eating breakfast much later than the normal white folks. They didn’t sleep too late. They woke up around 9:30 or so. She realized that they must’ve spent a great deal of time waiting for everyone else to get ready. Plus, Darrin woke up late and he took what seemed like a 35 minute shower.

Tonya glanced over at him and wondered what he was doing in the shower so long. The water had to have turned cold on him. She wasn’t willing to delve in to that much further. Who knew what he did in there?

104. Echoboy
"Lovesick Antelopes"  3:18
Elektrik Soul Psymphonie
Sutton-in-Ashfield, England

Tonya noticed many of the patrons were eating chicken. In fact, at least one person at each table was eating chicken.

‘How common was this?’ she thought.

Then she wandered exactly how many people were eating chicken at that very moment. She attempted to calculate the precise figure in her head. She estimated the world’s population was about six billion people. That’s a lot of people. That’s a lot of chicken.

She tried to calculate the amount of people who were eating chicken in the United States alone. 2005 consensus indicated over 250 million people lived in the US. She guessed half of them would eat chicken at least at some point that day.

By that rationale, that meant 125 million chickens were slaughtered just that day alone. That equated to 875 million chickens a week, which equated to nearly 50 billion chickens a year, just in the USA.

“Hmm, poor chickens,” she thought. Generally she didn’t think about things like this. Oddly, her family members had not interrupted her either. Then, she was on to something else. “Wow,” she thought to herself amazed.

She tried to recall the last time she saw a chicken. She remembered seeing one on a trip once. That was in 1983.

She sat her fork down and completely froze for a moment, staring at her plate.

“If there are 50 billion chickens in the US, I should have seen one by now,” she thought. She was in deep thought. “There are less raccoons than that, and they are all over the place- getting hit by cars and on the side of the road. I’ve seen deer.”

Then, it dawned on her that chickens must be extinct.

She wandered what they were serving instead of chickens. She remembered hearing a story once how China only permitted families to have only one child and the others were confiscated by the government. She never knew what they did with those kids, but remembered being curious. Now, it was obvious to her what they do with those kids.

She went back to eating her food. Doug saw her stop and stare at her plate momentarily then gave her a strange look. She did not see the look. The kids did, and they smiled.

“Something wrong with the food?” Dakota asked.

“What is?” Tonya responded assuming he was complaining.

“I’m asking you,” he said with a smile, “you were staring at the plate there for a second. You looked at your food funny.”

She smiled back, but the smile was forced. “No, everything’s fine,” she replied out loud. “Mind your own business you little brat,” she thought in her head.

103. Gorillaz
"Every Plant We Reach is Dead"  4:53
Demon Days
London, England

Melissa started crying. Tonya had been watching the people at other tables eat what they believed to be chicken and noticed that as soon as Melissa cried, everybody turned around and scowled. She realized that her crying must irritate other people as well. Imagine that!

Fortunately, she had finished enough of her food to where she was full. She arose, picked up Melissa, and headed out.

“Where are you going?” Doug questioned as if her getting up to take Melissa out of the restaurant was totally bizarre.

“She’s crying,” she stated back as if it should be obvious, “I’m taking her somewhere quiet so she doesn’t bother everybody.”

“We paid good money to be here,” he was dead serious, “now sit down.”

“Everybody paid money to eat here.” She made no attempt to sit back down; rather, gathered her purse and the baby’s bag and proceeded to exit. “It’s not fair for everybody else. Nobody wants to hear her cry.”

“This is a public place,” he sternly stated, “babies cry in restaurants all the time. They just got to tune that out. If they don’t like it, they can leave.”

“Ah,” she shook her head, “I don’t know about all that.”

She went outside, sat in a seat in the front of the restaurant, and rocked Melissa until she quieted down.

“Now you be a good girl,” she said to her in a kiddy like voice, “or else they will come and make a chicken sandwich out of you. Yes they will.”

As she waited, her thoughts turned to her orgasm experiences yesterday. Then, she suddenly felt guilty, as if she had done something terribly wrong. She figured she would ask God’s forgiveness tomorrow in church and vowed to never do it again.

102. Sufjan Stevens
"Chicago"  6:05
Detroit, MI/New York, NY

On the way home, Tonya sat in the passenger seat and glared out the window. She wandered why it was so sinful to induce orgasm upon oneself. How could something that felt so good be considered so wrong? The Lord worked in mysterious ways, she was always taught.

“You all right over there,” Doug busted out to Tonya.

She simply rolled her head to face him without saying a word.

“What are you thinking about over there?” he ordered her to say.

She paused for a moment. She didn’t want to tell him she was debating the rights and wrongs of masturbation.

“Chickens are extinct,” she chimed out straight faced.

There was another pause. This was a pause of confusion. Even Melissa seemed confused by that remark.

“What?” Doug said smiling as if that was the most ridiculous comment he’d ever heard. “Extinct?”

“Mom,” Dakota piped in as if her were giving her a lesson about something, “we just came from a restaurant. They serve chicken at the restaurant. It was on the menu. Chicken.” He really emphasized chicken when he said it.

“I saw it in there too,” Darrin agreed as he leaned over into the front seat, “if chickens are extinct then what were they serving.”

“Chinese babies,” she answered.

Everyone roared with laughter so loud, Melissa woke up and cried. Nobody paid her any attention though. Fuck her.

“Good Lord,” said Doug shaking his head.

“Seriously,” Tonya was not smiling, “in China they confiscate people’s babies if they have too many because they are overpopulated. They take the babies and ship them to America and we use them to make chicken.”

“Kids,” now Doug was sounding as if he was giving a lesson, “now might be the right time to remind you never to do drugs. You’ll start coming up with these crazy ideas like your mother.”

“Mom,” Dakota chimed in again, “they have chickens.”

“Do they now,” Tonya challenged, “have you ever even seen a chicken?”

“Yes mom,” said Dakota sarcastically as if she asked a dumb question.

“When? Where did you ever see this chicken?”

“On TV,” Dakota answered.

“No. I mean a chicken in real life. Dakota, when have you ever seen a chicken?”

“They have chickens at the zoo,” he answered as if she should know that.

Tonya laughed out loud at that remark. “The zoo? Chickens at the zoo?”

“Yes,” Dakota thought she was acting very strange, “they have chickens at the zoo.”

“Do they have them in an exhibit? Their own natural habitat? Or do they keep them in cages like tigers?”

“At the petting zoo,” he responded.

“All right,” Tonya is now giving the lesson. “Zoos are only for exotic animals. They do not keep common animals at the zoo. If chickens are in fact at the zoo, they are at least endangered.”

“All right, if you say so.”

101. Major Stars
"Phantom #1"  15:20
Cambridge, MA

Tonya found herself thinking about Tristen again when she got home. As stated previously, she had fantasized that she and Tristen were kidnapped and forced to have sexual intercourse everyday due to the fact her kidnappers were unable to have a baby. She was still on that.

She, to be loyal, envisioned herself complaining to the kidnappers that she shouldn’t have to do this for she didn’t like Tristen. She told the kidnappers that she would cooperate fully if they would get rid of Tristen and bring Doug in instead. They refused and beat her with a walking cane. They ordered she had to be with Tristen for their baby was to have his eyes. And, she had to do everything Tristen told her to do or else they would kill her and her whole family. Again, they had to do it every single day at least once until the baby was born. So, in nine months, that would mean Tristen and Tonya would have to have sex at least 270 times.

As a result, Tonya started thinking of other things Tristen would “force” her to do. It began, with just him on top of her, inserting his penis, and releasing his sperm inside her. Now, she imagined Tristen would force her to suck his dick, let him go down on her, titty fuck her, and fuck her in the ass. She became curious exactly how all this would feel.

At home, she was out in the garden by herself for a little while. The entire time, she fantasized about Tristen forcing her to do various sex acts, and grew sexually aroused right there in the garden. She stroked the stem of one her daffodils and imagined it was Tristen’s cock she had in her hand.

She snuck in the shed and acted like she was looking for something. She spotted some shears in the corner. If somebody came in, she’d say she was searching for those shears.

She unzipped her shorts and slid her fingers down her pants and caressed her pussy as she thought of Tristen “forcing” her to do unusual sex acts to him in front of kidnappers.

“Hon,” Doug yelled out, “the baby’s crying. You need to come in here.”

She stopped hurriedly, but then pretended like she didn’t hear him and went back to stroking herself hoping she could hurry up and cum. He yelled for her again and she stroked faster. He came out the back door and was headed towards the garden. She almost reached her climax but had to stop. Her body was still quivering and desperately needed that release.

She buttoned her shorts back up and pretended she had been searching for those shears. She grabbed them and exited the shed. When she saw Doug she acted surprised when she saw him, even though she knew he was out there.

“The baby’s crying,” He said, “you need to go back inside.”

“Okay,” she said as she put the shears back.

On the way up to the house, she noticed a wet substance dripping down her leg. She hurriedly wiped it off so Doug wouldn’t see it. Even if he did see it, he wouldn’t have suspected it to be cum. She went back inside and went about attending Melissa. She was disturbed she was unable to finish.

It’s not that after she had an orgasm, she suddenly transformed and saw a whole new light. But, just after two days, her body felt more at ease, her mind was enhanced, and music even sounded better.

Top Image by: http://www.famouschicken.com/_images//chicken_baby_th.gif
Bottom Image by: http://edge.ebaumsworld.com/mediaFiles/picture/1999522/81530553.jpg

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