The Top 75 Songs of 1995

The Top 100 Songs of 1995 + Puppy Love in Raincoat City
1. 100-76 Raincoat City: Oh Say, Around the Month of June
2. 76-51 Take My Hand, And I'll Lead You Along the Road
3. 50-26 The Secrets of the Night Come Alive
4. 25-#1 It's Not You, It's This Place

Part II: Take My Hand, And I'll Lead You Along the Road

Press play on the image below to listen to all of the songs while you read.

75. Fugazi
"Do You Like Me"  3:16
Red Medicine
Washington, DC

Harvey reflected on the odds that he would ever again have another girlfriend and wondered if there were any other dogs whatsoever that had any interest in him. In his younger days, he was a borderline heart-throb who caught the attention of most of the females. But lately, he was getting older and it was starting to show. Compliments came less frequently and females who made their attraction obvious occurred less often than he had been accustomed. He no longer possessed the confidence he once had, but no longer cared either.

74. Whiskeytown
"Drank Like A River"  2:57
Faithless Street
Raleigh, NC

Most of the other dogs his age were already married and had puppies. He felt as if he were the only dog on the planet his age who did not have puppies. Truth be known, he never had any desire to have puppies, and felt as if he could not afford them. Furthermore, he lacked some of the morals required for raising puppies. His language was often obscene, he had a twisted sense of humor, and he still had a few bad habits. Some parents annoyed the shit out of him the way they spoke to their puppies, and the puppies were often unbearable. The thought of having a house full of puppies gave him nightmares.

73. Emmylou Harris
"May This Be Love"  4:45
Wrecking Ball
Birmingham, AL/Nashville, TN

For reasons he could not control, the girl from Swashbuckler’s entered his mind while he was lying awake at night. The initial attraction to her was but physical, and therefore, the thoughts involved physical attraction. Like all dogs do when the hour of intimacy has bestowed upon them, Harvey indulged in his fair share of sexual fantasies. Generally, he mostly fantasized about females who either did not exist or ones that he met just briefly in passing or customers at his store. He rarely fantasized about females who proposed a legitimate opportunity for an everlasting relationship, masturbatory thoughts were strictly to enhance sexual desires. The girl from Swashbuckler’s became his primary subject of lustful fantasies.

72. Teenage Fanclub
"Verisimilitude"  3:32
Grand Prix
Glasgow, Scotland

She did not fall into any specific category, which may have been why he was so attracted to her. Her exact age could not be easily determined, and that made both curious and suspicious at the same time. With many dogs, it is easy to detect at least some of their personal interests, such as dogs who are hardcore into heavy metal. But this dog did not denote any sort classification whatsoever. There existed the strong possibility that she was into all of the exact same things as he was; there also was the possibility that she was a hardcore religious fanatic. The way she looked, however, and according to Harvey, was absolutely perfect in almost every way; and just seeing her invigorated him.

71. Хвост и Аукцыон
"Мешок Бобэоби"  3:44
Жилец вершин (Mountaintop Dweller)
Saint Petersburg, Russia

This girl did not smile too frequently and had somewhat of a bitchy demeanor to her. For Harvey, this made her even more attractive. In line one day, a customer asked her a stupid question and she was a bit rude with her response. Her unfriendliness towards this imbecile made Harvey envision hearts floating in the air. It also helped refine his fantasies regarding her; he often visualized her dragging him to her house and forcing him to satisfy her. But, as the attraction delved into situations that went beyond being merely physical, it put restrictions on his fantasies. Rather than sex, he thought about how nice it would be to simply lie in her bed and take a nap with her; this may be what she preferred.

70. Tocotronic
"Meine Freundin und Ihr Freund"  2:24
Digital Ist Besser
Hamburg, Germany

In fact, all of his fantasies about her involved her making him do things that would make her happy, please her most intimate desires, and with total disregard to any of his needs. While working at Swashbucklers, she was required to stand on her feet all day. Harvey would frequently envision him standing outside while she was walking home, then grabbing him by the collar, dragging him to her house, and making him rub her feet; insisting, claiming he owes it to her for her having to wake up early and fix his coffee at Swashbuckler’s. Harvey imagined her to have adorable feet, and watching her remove her socks would be sexy enough. He developed such a fascination with her feet that he repeatedly visualized her sitting on her bed while stripping off her socks throughout the course of the day.

69. Susan Voelz
"Fallen for You"  4:37
Summer Crashing
Chicago, IL

On numerous occasions, rather than think about simply fucking her (like with other bitches he jerks off to), he would visualize making sweet passionate love to her. He would imagine how wonderful the sensation would be to feel her body pressed up against his, as they kissed with infatuation, feeling the heat of each other’s breath against their lips. Harvey dreamed that they would sometimes have mind altering sex for hours at a time; although most of these times she was the one in control, sometimes pinning his wrists down to the bed while she fulfilled her own pleasures…then threw his ass out of the house after she was finished.

68. The Flaming Lips
"Brainville"  3:14
Clouds Taste Metallic
Oklahoma City, OK

For the first time ever, Harvey was nervous before entering Swashbuckler’s. Before, he would simply wake up, put on some clothes, and then walk across the street to make his purchase with zero concerns about his appearance. Since she started working there, Harvey now has to at least look in the mirror, make his hair at least borderline presentable, and swig some milkbones so he doesn’t speak to her with funky ass morning dog breath. On a couple occasions, he disrupted the flow of his routine by showering before walking over to Swashbuckler’s…but that fucked shit up majorly. He depended on coffee for clear thinking, and one morning without having coffee first, he spent several minutes attempting to lock his apartment with his car keys.

67. Bardo Pond
"Back Porch"  4:51
Bufo Alvarius, Amen 29:15
Philadelphia, PA

As the days went by, Harvey still knew nothing about this girl, other than the fact that she worked at Swashbuckler’s. Despite the fact that he fantasized about her so frequently, he barely spoke to her when in her physical presence. There was no conversation at all, and the average bystander never would have suspected that Harvey had any feelings of attraction for this bitch whatsoever. He would simply place his order, pay for the purchase, and leave. That was the only interaction the two of them ever had, although it was a daily recurring theme.

66. The Dead C
"Your Hand"  7:25
The White House
Dunedin, New Zealand

At this point, not a single person knew of his fascination with this female from Swashbuckler’s, not even Harvey himself. There had been no changes in his behavior, although some considered that odd to begin with, and his ordinary life had not been affected, although that too needed vast improvement. Even though there was a female now in his world who was earning frequent flyer miles in terms of desirable thoughts, most of his time was still spent by himself, plotting an escape route. He thought about turning in his notice and where he would relocate more often than he thought about her. And, he was growing to detest Raincoat City even more than he already did as it grew even colder and darker than ever.

65. Flying Saucer Attack
"Here I Am"  6:37
Bristol, England

Harvey thought about going out, but then thought to himself, “I hate all these mother fuckers.” Once again, Harvey went home by himself. Everybody he knew was already out with their spouses, tending to their puppies, or annoying the living shit out of him. This was not the lifestyle Harvey envisioned for himself when he idealized his dream world. Rather than being outdoors enjoying blissful happiness in the company of others, Harvey stayed home, in his tiny little room, resenting the entire world around him. It seemed as if his walls were caving him, not smothering to keep him confined, but rather creating a barricade in order to prevent people from entering. Some nights, the outside world had nothing to offer Harvey, and he had no ambition to be a part of it.

64. Starflyer 59
"Indiana"  4:27
Riverside, CA

Unfortunately, Harvey had nowhere else to go. Relocating to another city is not something a person can up and do spontaneously. It requires a multitude of expenses, a proper plan instilled, a job awaiting the person upon relocation, and a home. Furthermore, it is considered customary to inform others at least a month in advance prior to leaving. Harvey was merely going through the motions until all of these aspects were properly in place, and several times most of them had been. There is considerable risk involved with relocating to a different region of the world, as was the case when transferring to Raincoat City. Too many times though, Harvey went to bed wishing that he would wake up any place else other than Raincoat City.

63. Unwound
"Descension"  4:22
The Future of What
Tumwater, WA

Harvey had strayed millions of miles off course, was far removed from his natural habitat, and rarely spent any time at all within his own comfort zone. Many of the dogs and raccoons he was surrounded by had no similarities to him at all. There were a few here and there, and he wished he could spend more time among those mother fuckers. He didn’t wish to hate anybody, but he did. They seemed nice enough, but they were so much not like him that he became completely detached from society. Furthermore, he did not like the cold, and that too burdened his interest to seek out more compatible establishments within Raincoat City.

62. Zeni Geva
"Burn Your Flesh Out"  3:23
Freedom Bondage
Tokyo, Japan

He knew what he wanted to do, but it was not available. He had the energy, but no place to expend it. Like the city itself, his thoughts blackened. Pleasant thoughts turned to fantasies about hi-jacking a bus, speeding through downtown Raincoat City, running over pedestrians, treating the raccoons the same way they are treated in the human sector of the universe; then busting out the windows of bus and firing an automatic machine gun out the broken window and into the crowd of civilians—who attempted to flee the speeding bus but only see orange blasts from the busted windows of the bus just before dropping dead onto the sidewalk.

61. Slowdive
"Crazy for You"  6:01
Reading, England

In reality, Harvey would never harm anybody. Just before becoming totally deranged, something decent would normally happen to temporarily salvage his dignity. Before, it would be that night out where he would meet some new people; or attending a concert performance by his favorite band. Sometimes, just little things brought him from his stupor, such as a flirtatious encounter with a customer. But recently, it had been simply walking into Swashbuckler’s Coffee on days that that girl was working. That girl he had still never even had a conversation with.

60. U.S. Maple
"The State Is Bad"  4:41
Long Hair in Three Stages
Chicago, IL

Surprisingly, there are some dogs and raccoons who are fascinated with Harvey because he is completely different than the rest of them. At times, he can deliver side splitting humor with the ability to entertain thousands. He has a few interesting talents, and offers a different perspective on many things regarding life. However, he does not demonstrate these attributes constantly. In fact, simply based on his appearance, there are some dogs that would never guess that he has any extraordinary characteristics whatsoever.

59. Caspar Brötzmann Massaker
"Tempelhof"  8:55
Berlin, Germany

Harvey listened to cool music, and some women in the past had been attracted to him based on his astonishing knowledge of music. He wondered what kind of music the girl from Swashbuckler’s listened to. He thought about asking her as a means of starting a conversation, but has never got around to it. Then, he considered making her a mix CD with his favorite songs to show her just how cool he really was. At one point, he fantasized about her being stranded somewhere, walking in the cold rain, and he stopped and offered her a ride. Not only was the car heated, but also played wicked music that made female Swashbuckler’s employees automatically think that the driver is extraordinarily good looking and super cool.

58. Son Volt
"Windfall"  2:58
St. Louis, MO

For a significant period of time, Harvey would wake up distraught because he was still residing in Raincoat City. The one thing that kept him motivated was his ambition to leave Raincoat City for good. He was often visited by a stray dog in his closet who wore clothes that were stylish in the 70’s and a raccoon who emerged from the ceiling dressed in similar fashion. The two of them would wake Harvey up every morning by performing a song that encouraged him, “may the wind take your troubles away.” Harvey could have had them arrested for breaking and entering, but actually enjoyed the music. Furthermore, once he returned from Swashbuckler’s, they had mysteriously vanished without a trace.

57. The Mountain Goats
"Downtown Seoul"  2:50
Claremont, CA

There were even times where Harvey felt like leaving the entire country. He wondered how much of this world would be exactly like Raincoat City, and embarking to a new city would only present analogous situations. Maybe he could retreat to a desolate region of the world and forget the entire canine race even existed. Or, maybe he could move to an island where it would at least be warmer a climate. But, maybe he needed to do something dramatically different. His former places of residence had their issues as well, and some of them even dreadfully worse than Raincoat City. Somewhere embedded in his brain though, he wanted to move someplace where he could possibly meet his dream bitch.

56. Steve Earle
"Goodbye"  4:57
Train a Comin'
Fort Monroe, VA/New York, NY

He recollected how he came to Raincoat City in the first place. That was for a bitch he moderately assumed was his soul mate. It wasn’t the first time he relocated for a female. Harvey attempted to remember all of his girlfriends, and how it all led to this. A few of them he had not even seen since the moment they split, and couldn’t even remember if they had said goodbye. They ended miserably, one of them borderline ruining his life, and perhaps he did not wish to see them ever again. All those bitches were neurotic anyway.

55. The Terminals
"Black Creek"  5:47
Little Things
Christchurch, New Zealand

The fact that all of the other females who had significant roles in his love life had been so iniquitous played a huge factor as to how Harvey became so despondent. He was afraid to get involved with another bitch because another failure could prove cataclysmic with pending trauma that would be incurable. Harvey was not prepared to endure another heartbreaking disaster for the end of a relationship. The only way he would ever approach any sort of intimate encounter would be if he knew it was certainly his soul mate, or a no strings attached fling. Even casual sex with a female who could become too attached ran the risk of adversity.

54. Adam Ant
"Wonderful"  4:22
London, England

Another major implication was the fact that he was not completely over his last bitchfriend. She was the primary reason they moved to Raincoat City, and after careful analysis, he is the primary reason they are no longer together. Ever since she left him for good, Harvey has regretted the break-up and has blamed himself for a number of the debacles. Furthermore, because he feels guilty about the unjust break-up with her, that is a major reason why he has deemed himself unsuitable for another relationship. The ghost of her is a huge reason why he wishes to leave Raincoat City; the possibility of perhaps getting back together is a top 10 reason why he has stayed. He didn’t recognize this during the time they were together, but since she left, he since realized that she was wonderful; way better than those other bitches.

53. The Red Krayola
" The Letter"  3:23
Amor and Language
Houston, TX

And then came her, the bitch from Swashbuckler’s Coffee. One day it occurred to him that he was thinking about her while at work. She temporarily subsided all of his past grief. It now reached the point where he wished that she would come visit his work, even though the bitch had no fucking clue where he worked; and possibly suspected the stupid loser was unemployed. But, if she came to his work, during a period where he did not just wake up in the morning, it would prove that he was not an unemployed loser, and possibly give him the chance to shine his radiant personality that would impress her even more.

52. Spain
"Ray of Light"  7:04
The Blue Moods of Spain
Los Angeles, CA

The future shall always be represented with a question mark, for you never know what could happen. Harvey could no longer say for sure when he was leaving, because, according to him, “you never know, I might meet my dream bitch right here in Raincoat City and opt to stay here for the rest of my life.” Once upon a time, that may have suggested that he was grasping to some sort of hope that there was still some attraction lingering from his previous bitchfriend; what it meant now was that some bitch from Swashbuckler’s Coffee had caught his attention and had been consuming his thoughts.

51. Julian Cope
"Road of Dreams"  6:05
20 Mothers
Deri, Wales

After a good one full hour nap in which Harvey was permitted to allow his mind to freely wander wherever it desired, the girl from Swashbuckler’s evolved from “smoking hot babe he’d like to get next to,” all the way to “potential soul mate.” During that full hour, he thought of her the entire time, and not one time did he envision sexual intercourse. Harvey thought of meaningful conversations the two could have together, how she would be positively approved of by his friends and family, along with romantic aspects such as holding hands on a pleasant walk or snuggling comfortably in each other’s warmth watching movies together on the couch. He even visualized himself telling people that they had been together for several years, they may get married. All of this was possible because Harvey still has yet to have a conversation with her, and still doesn’t even know her name or her age or anything else about her. He had never even uttered a complete sentence to her; one that featured both a predicate and a verb, let alone anything so meaningful and thought provoking that it had a dependent clause attached. Simply put, looks wise, she scored a 10, and in his opinion, she is by far the most attractive female in Raincoat City. He simply fashioned a personality for her, his idea of the perfect personality, to accompany the conception that she had near perfect physical traits.

Cover image: slodive.com
Title lyrics by Julian Cope

1 comment:

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