The Top 50 Songs of 1995

The Top 100 Songs of 1995 + Puppy Love in Raincoat City
1. 100-76 Raincoat City: Oh Say, Around the Month of June
2. 76-51 Take My Hand, And I'll Lead You Along the Road
3. 50-26 The Secrets of the Night Come Alive
4. 25-#1 It's Not You, It's This Place

Part III: The Secrets of the Night Come Alive

Press play on the image below to listen to all of the songs while you read.

50. Chrome Cranks
"Dead Cool"  5:25
Dead Cool
New York, NY

The stray dog and raccoon who had been mysteriously living in Harvey’s closet and ceiling respectively, revamped their image and changed their tune. No longer was the song an uplifting number encouraging Harvey to leave his problems behind; now it was a rocking bass heavy rhythm that provoked a certain edge that instilled a level of coolness that Harvey had not experienced since his last bitch left. They played the song in Harvey’s bathroom as he now had a reason to care about his appearance, to look cool, to act cool, to be cool…homeboy was Dead Cool! The goal was no longer to shun the entire community; it was now to be considered the coolest mother fucker in Raincoat City.

49. Pere Ubu
"Folly of Youth"  4:53
Ray Gun Suitcase
Cleveland, OH

Being as Harvey anticipated that she would possess what he considered the perfect personality, to coincide with her perfect looks, Harvey hoped that he would have the ability to impress her by simply being his natural self. However, he found it necessary to be the best version of himself at all times. Every morning at Swashbuckler’s Coffee, the goal was to put his coolest persona on display hoping the most beautiful female in Raincoat City would take notice. Unfortunately, perhaps he set the precedent too high, for now he was too nervous to ever speak to her. Furthermore, on days he did declare he was going to engage in a meaningful conversation with her, she was either not working or it was too busy.

48. Guided By Voices
"Watch Me Jumpstart"  2:24
Alien Lanes
Dayton, OH

The degree of buoyancy lasted outside the visit to Swashbuckler’s Coffee. He carried out his ordinary routine as if she were watching at all times. Even at work, he remained in a state of resilience anticipating that she could enter his establishment at any time. And when he went out with friends, Harvey had to maintain his element of constantly presenting himself as a sheer mother fucking badass just in case he happened to enter a place and see her there; which was always his goal. Harvey even straightened up his house and cleaned out his car just in case she ever came over or asked for a ride.

47. The Clean
"Too Much Violence"  3:48
Modern Rock
Dunedin, New Zealand

Despite all of this, Harvey had still never spoken to her aside from placing his order. She was a bit unapproachable, never overly cheerful, and obviously unwilling to stand for too much bullshit from some ignorant fuckhead acting like a complete imbecile. Harvey could tell her definition of stupid ass fuckhead had numerous meanings, consisted of 86% of the current population, and spanned across thousands of pages with numerous chapters, sub-headings, classifications, and exhibits; perhaps explains why she works at Swashbuckler’s Coffee rather than Webster’s. And that brings up another question; why does she work at Swashbuckler’s Coffee instead of some other place where she would be the head of an important operation that could save the planet?

46. The Apples in Stereo
"She's Just Like Me/Taking Time"  4:36
Fun Trick Noisemaker
Denver, CO

Harvey had a long list of deal breakers and was positive this girl from Swashbuckler’s Coffee did not possess any of these characteristics. He was certain that she did not listen to stupid music, watch horrendous movies, and was definitely not the type to go absolutely ape shit at Pier 1 Imports the moment she received a decent paycheck…and then proceed to talk for hours about she went absolutely ape shit at Pier 1 Imports discussing all of the useless fucking junk she purchased. In fact, he was positive that she did not have one single item of merchandise in her home from Pier 1 Imports, let alone a house chocked full of useless shit. Furthermore, her refrigerator would not be completely filled with shit that nobody in their right mind would ever eat. This is how he perceived her, to be exactly like him.

45. Sparklehorse
"Sad & Beautiful World"  3:34
Richmond, VA (Mark Linkous 1962-2010)

He wished it wouldn’t have to be this complicated. Ideally, she would just leave and come straight home, their home, together. There was no reason for it to be this difficult to ever meet somebody outside the regular structure of society’s workplace. The problem still remained, he knew nothing about her; and even though he had his own perception of her, which was but mythological, she was still unclassifiable. Not only did he not know her name, or her age for that matter, he was completely clueless as to what types of places she would hang out with her friends. All he knew was that this mysterious place where she socializes was not anywhere he had ever been. Perhaps he could just go to every single place in town, every single night, and look for her.

44. Kyuss
"Gloria Lewis"  4:02
...And the Circus Leaves Town
Palm Desert, CA

Every night without her meant there was the possibility that some other dog was successfully courting her, assuming that she did not already have a boyfriend. The option of going out to every hangout spot in Raincoat City had to be quickly nullified. It wasn’t due to the fact that he may not ever find her, it could potentially be worse if he actually did come across her...after looking for her—like, I’ve been looking for you this whole time—that’s how mother fuckers get pepper sprayed. The last thing he wanted to do was show up someplace all by himself; none of his mates were willing to conduct this search and play the designated role of wing-dog. Furthermore, he felt as if this constituted as stalking, and seeing each other in these circumstances would be downright creepy. The only situation possible that he would settle for would be running into each as a chance meeting, unplanned.

43. Unsane
"Alleged"  3:01
Scattered, Smothered and Covered
New York, NY

Just because Harvey liked the girl from Swashbuckler’s Coffee did not mean that he suddenly fell in love with Raincoat City. He still despised most of the people and downright loathed the downtown scene. That presented yet another obstacle for him finding his true love, whether it be the girl from Swashbuckler’s or anybody else for that matter. There was one particular interaction with a group of customers at his own place of employment that resonated in his mind. Harvey spoke of an incident in which he had been convinced to remain in Raincoat City to attend the annual music event, which was a major disappointment. “Gross,” they claimed, agreeing that the event was substandard in regards of great music (and they had been conversing good music the entire evening), “don’t get talked in to staying for that. It sounds like you’re just hanging out with the wrong dogs.” Harvey agreed, and where these other more appropriate dogs and raccoons fraternized became the ultimate mystery.

42. The Brian Jonestown Massacre
"Wasted"  4:22
San Francisco, CA

Harvey grew curious as to how he was perceived by this girl from Swashbuckler’s Coffee and wandered if she ever thought of him while he wasn’t present. Last week, he went there for lunch, and she was required to ask his name—this is a requisite for all customers when placing a carry-out order. She repeated his name as if she had been curious this whole time as to what the hell his name was. He did not ask her name. The other day, he again placed a carry-out order, and this time she remembered his name without asking. Harvey viewed that as a sign of progress, even though he still did not know her name. But, he still questioned what went through her mind after he walked out the door. Perhaps she thought about him the exact same way he thought of her, maybe he was her favorite customer; or maybe she found him annoying and spit in his food. Spitting in his food would not be a bad thing, he would gladly still eat it and view it as kissing her. In fact, he wished that she would spit on his food, it would be a dream come true.

41. Luna
"Lost in Space"  3:45
New York, NY

The fact that she now knew his name showed that he had at least been noticed and recognized. But, Harvey had to develop a means to take it to the next level. Having to conduct all of this in the confines of a market café presented numerous obstacles. He had a list of questions that he would like to ask her, including her name, age, likes, dislikes, and all sorts of other personality defining interview interrogations. He made a commitment to himself that he was going to ask her a random question by the end of the week; and it was not going to involve her name or age because she had probably heard all that shit before. It was going to be one statement that would blow her mind completely, possibly make laugh, and definitely rouse her curiosity. In his mind, he played out how the interview process would go exactly.

40. Archers Of Loaf
"Step Into The Light"  4:22
Vee Vee
Chapel Hill, NC

While in line, he could not figure out which question to ask her. He wasn’t sure if inquiring about whether or not she had ever gone totally ape shit at Pier 1 Imports was appropriate or not. Harvey contemplated asking her a question where the obvious answer was going to be “no” to ensure they had at least one thing in common. But, that ran the risk of him sounding foolish. Or, maybe he should ask something relatively personal and that might create a friendly conversation topic. Too many issues raced through his mind, and by the time it was his turn to order, he panicked, and abruptly asked if the chili had onions in it. It was 8:07 AM and they hadn’t even started serving chili yet; he had no intentions on purchasing chili anyway. She looked at him as if he had lost his mind. Not even waiting for an answer, Harvey dashed out the door as quickly as he could and even forgot his beverage.

39. Wilco
"Passenger Side"  3:34
Chicago, IL

Perhaps she was a goody goodie and had no bad habits whatsoever. Maybe she did not drink, did not smoke, and never said cuss words; Harvey wondered if this would be a bad thing. Harvey did all the above, among other things, but imagined her getting on case about his bad habits and him stopping just for her. His diet was not very healthy either, consisting primarily of dog food out of the can, or even worse, Taco Bell. There was a possibility that she ate healthy as well, but he was certain that she did not like mushrooms because that is what she told a customer who needed too many suggestions as to what to order. That was the only thing he knew about her, that she did not like mushrooms. She would be the one to induce that swift beating with a rolled up newspaper to break him of all of his bad habits; he needed somebody to do this.

38. Morphine
"Sharks"  2:23
Boston, MA

When Harvey would shop at other establishments, he noticed males hitting on females all of the time. Many of these males were shameless and downright disturbing. However, these male dogs were rarely scolded, and some of them actually scored. In many circumstances, it would appear as if it were a harmless joke, a means of having fun with employees and customers. Harvey never did any of this though, anywhere, especially not Swashbuckler’s Coffee. He feared that if he said anything even mildly flirtatious, such as complimenting an article of clothing, he would be beat excessively with a rolled up newspaper.

37. Bugskull
"Seguara"  4:06
Phantasies and Senseitions
Portland, OR

He wondered if she suspected how he genuinely felt about her. Had he been obvious this entire time? Maybe somebody had told her, but who knew? It might be better if somebody did mention something to her, just to see how she would react, but that is stupid shit male dogs are never supposed to ever do. If she did know, then what Harvey had been seeing is her reaction. Harvey wondered if the feeling was mutual, or if he was getting on her nerves and she was trying to be polite. It was doubtful she knew though, and Harvey would be embarrassed if she prematurely discovered his true feelings; possibly never even enter the establishment ever again.

36. Rockfour
"Khor BaLevana"  6:29
The Man Who Saw Everything
Tel Aviv, Israel

Then he wondered how she would behave if the roles were reversed and she thought about him as often as he does her. He wondered if she would be as awkward as he is. Perhaps that is why she had also never spoken to him; she is extremely bashful around him because she thinks Harvey is a potential soul mate as well. Since he had already established that she may have a number of the exact same personality traits as he does, Harvey assessed the dilemma that she feels the exact same way, but has a difficult time expressing it. This did not seem to fit her though, but on the other hand, she was never the overly flirtatious type either.

35. Bowery Electric
"Long Way Down"  4:12
Bowery Electric
New York, NY

Sometimes, Harvey assumed that she hated him. She was, in fact, getting paid to be courteous to the customers, he was a customer, and she was never pleasantly nice to him. Harvey wondered if she dreaded the moment in which he would enter the café and bother her with silly bullshit about his coffee and onions in the chili. Furthermore, he may have come off as a total creep because he went there every single day and never spoke to anybody. He would picture out her on break, discussing him with the other employees, talking about how he was a completely useless piece of shit who probably is unemployed, a convicted felon, stinks like spoiled coleslaw, and probably goes ape shit every weekend at Pier 1 Imports as his only source of entertainment.

34. Faith No More
"The Gentle Art of Making Enemies"  3:29
King For A Day/Fool For A Lifetime
San Francisco, CA

Harvey finally had himself a night out with friends. Although he enjoyed the company of the friends he was with, he did not get along with the other dogs in this place. All of the females located within, and everyone else for that matter, annoyed the shit out of him. He wanted nothing to do with any of them, particularly since the girl from Swashbuckler’s Coffee was not present. Not only did he refuse to divert any kindness towards any of the other dogs in this place, he was rude to the other patrons if they attempted to talk to him. There were a group of females who attempted to court him and Harvey brusquely rejected them. Another series of malicious comments to another party led to a violent altercation—yelling, pushing, and shoving mostly— it was an intense evening where it seemed as if everybody hated each other. One huge brawl did finally break out involving the group Harvey’s friends had the scuffle with, and the group was expelled from the premises.

33. Wayne Kramer
"Junkie Romance"  3:36
The Hard Stuff
Detroit, MI

If this girl were a sleazy pile of trash, Harvey would have already spoken to her. Harvey never took compliments well and rejected the adoration of others. He viewed belittling insults as a means of people simply being honest with him; he viewed compliments as an insincere ploy of people pretending to be nice. A troubled tortured soul he may view as an equal. Many bitches preferred men to be stronger and make more money; that left Harvey limited to junkies and crackheads. These types had trust issues though, and Harvey could never comfortably be in a prolonged relationship with one. But, if he could become a junkie himself…that would solve everything. Too many people carefully watched his every move though; he just wanted to be ignored and unnoticed.

32. Six Finger Satellite
"Rabies (Baby's Got The)"  3:26
Severe Exposure
Providence, RI

In all planes of the universe, raccoons are significantly cooler and smarter than dogs. On our particular plane, raccoons represent the next phase of evolution, and hope for the advancement of society. They have already shown symptoms of walking upright and have near-opposable thumbs. Once the human race has finally killed itself off, it will be the raccoons that progress the role of Earth into the future. Consider monkeys-to-human as those huge old fashioned telephones with limited capabilities, and the evolution of the raccoon as that small compact modernized smart phone with numerous advanced features. In all planes of the universe, particularly in our plane of existence as well as the plane Raincoat City takes place, raccoons find sheer enjoyment in baiting dogs into deviant circumstances.

31. Ben Vaughn
"Snake Pit"  2:50
Instrumental Stylings
Collingswood, NJ/Los Angeles, CA

Although he was a dog, Harvey preferred the company of raccoons. They were more artistic, adventurous, liked better music, and preferred life out of the ordinary. Whereas the bro-dogs attempted to dominate with physical strength and intimidation, the raccoons claim to fame was their cleverness and intellect. In places like Raincoat City, the dog police finally ceased raids in raccoon community for it usually led to humiliation. Harvey was welcomed in the raccoon community, he was well-liked, but, the fact remained, he was still a dog, which meant he had limited mental capacity. On the other hand, he had a keen sense of humor, and willing to prove that he was a punk. In order to hang out with the cool crowd, Harvey periodically had to take some shit, and was subject to partake in a few dares which he had pulled off with success. The atmosphere in the music venues where the raccoons performed was significantly different the dog venues, and Harvey felt as if he were cool because he knew one person who occasionally went there.

30. Pram
"Crystal Tips"  3:46
Sargasso Sea
Birmingham, England

There were no laws in the raccoon clubs as the drinks provided more of a psychedelic effect rather than drunken belligerent intoxication. Harvey sat a table with his roommate, Randy, and a few of his friends who Harvey had gotten to know somewhat. After a series of anecdotes and clever stories, they finally asked Harvey the whereabouts of his girlfriend. “She works at Swashbuckler’s Coffee,” he abruptly told them, then proceeded to claim he was in a serious relationship. It was a blissful moment; the music was tranquil, as Harvey felt a rash of serenity as those words finally escaped his mouth.

29. Swervedriver
"Ejector Seat Reservation"  5:56
Ejector Seat Reservation
London, England

“What the fuck?” Randy was shocked, he saw Harvey every day and never even heard of this, “when the hell did this happen?” It turns out it didn’t. “How old is she?” It turns out that Harvey didn’t know. “What’s her name?” It turns out, Harvey didn’t know that either. “So,” Randy looked at Harvey dumbfounded, “you’re in a serious relationship with some bitch from the coffee joint right next door to our apartment, and you don’t even know her name?” After Harvey confirmed this allegation it grew silent for a moment as they all stared at Harvey, and then at once, all of them erupted with laughter. “What a dumb mother fucker!” Randy also went to Swashbuckler’s Coffee regularly and was familiar with the staff, “which one is it?” It turns out Harvey could not even describe that element.

28. King Crimson
"Walking On Air"  4:38
London, England

The dress code for Harvey’s place of employment is as casual as possible, relatively clean jeans and a moderately decent shirt. After his shower, Harvey put on his finest suit, and elegantly fixed his hair as he strolled in to Swashbuckler’s Coffee. He strutted into Swashbuckler’s Coffee, fancily dressed in his finest suit, hoping to gain the attraction of the girl whose name he did not even know, possibly even receive a compliment. She did give him a second glance and a smile, but said nothing. However, some other female who he did not even know gave him a compliment, which made Harvey feel like an extreme badass. The rest of the day was approached with sheer confidence, even though his co-workers interrogated him as to why he was wearing such a fancy suit to work.

27. Bluebottle Kiss
"Raymod"  8:10
Double Yellow Tarred
Sydney, AU

Harvey had reached the conclusion that he was not an attractive dog. Based on his looks alone, he was not going to win anybody, and this led to episodes of self-doubt. And since he still had never spoken to her, there were still potential deal breakers that could ruin everything. The average dog would not rate this girl from Swashbuckler’s as high as Harvey did, and some might even be surprised that he regarded her as a 10. This gave Harvey hope, he was not a 10, and perhaps this meant that they were a perfect match…although he still viewed her as out of his league, she would score higher ratings than him and at least based on appearance, had potential to do better. She did not glamorize herself and did not wear risqué clothing to work, but who knew what she wore outside of Swashbuckler’s. One day Harvey noticed that she had a temporary facial blemish, which made him excited, all of her imperfections increased his chances for he was full of them. As he was out in public, he observed other couples, staking out circumstances in which a male even uglier than him would be in a relationship with a female even prettier than her. There were a lot of these instances, and if Harvey and the girl from Swashbuckler’s Coffee were seen walking around holding hands, it would not seem that bad…there was way worse happening regularly in Raincoat City.

26. The Sea and Cake
"For Minor Sky"  3:34
The Biz (#1 Album of 1995!)
Chicago, IL

It was vacation time. Harvey announced some time ago that he would be leaving Raincoat City for good and never come back after his vacation. However, he was once again talked into staying. But, he was to be gone for two weeks, and contemplated not returning. While he was on vacation, numerous situations arose in which he would have the ability to stay gone, offered a job, could stay with family, and that would be the end of Raincoat City. He sincerely did not want to return. On the other hand, he continued to think about the girl from Swashbuckler’s Coffee the entire time he was away. He figured this would pass though, and somebody else would come along and take her place. Furthermore, his infatuation with her was but a direct result of being so incompatible with the rest of Raincoat City. Therefore, he did not care when he returned, and did not even care if he lost job which he despised anyway.

For two weeks he was away from Raincoat City, and continuously weighed the options as to whether or not he should even return. He felt he had to because he owed it to the few friends he did have there, but they would understand.

His work called him and expected him to return early. This, in his opinion, crossed the line because he technically had given his resignation notice and was never going to return; this made it certain that he was never going to return to Raincoat City. But, he did. And the primary #1 reason, the spark he felt from the girl from Swashbuckler’s Coffee did not go away at any given time he was away. Once again, Harvey returned to Raincoat City, questioning the decision the entire way.

Title lyrics by King Crimson Cover photo by http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_ZS_hCVQRsPc/SqvBq65m1rI/AAAAAAAAAts/fb_Tr3wMC7A/s400/1249243488730.jpg

No comments:

Post a Comment

Popular Posts