The Top 50 Songs of 1976

The Top 150 Songs of 1976 + The Wicked Wizard of Oz
Part 1 of 6: Dexter the Good Douche Can Save Oz (Tracks 150-126)
Part 2 of 6: Fuck Yea! Dorothy's Back (Tracks 125-101)
Part 3 of 6: The Yellow Brick Path to Love (Tracks 100-76)
Part 4 of 6: Wild Nights in The Land of Oz (Tracks 75-51)
Part 5 of 6: The Oz Revolution (Tracks 50-26)
Part 6 of 6: Presenting...The World's First Ever Left Wing Society (25-#1)

Part V: The Oz Revolution

Press play on the image below to listen to all of the songs while you read.

50. Serge Gainsbourg
"L'homme à tête de Chou"  3:00
L'homme à tête de Chou
Paris, France (1928-1991)

With Zinquist removed from power, a celebration was held in the streets of The Emerald City. A major portion of the population joined in the festivities as they danced and The Emerald Palace in choreographed unison. It was a wonderful spectacle of fabulous trance pace dance moves, a sky full of colorful balloons and confetti, surreal looking floats for the parade, and bizarre looking people enjoying the whole event. Even though The Wizard had not yet been removed from office, it appeared that for the first time in ages, The Emerald City finally belonged to the natives from The Land of Oz.

49. Barry White
"I'm So Blue and You Are Too"  7:04
Let the Music Play
Galveston, TX (1944)-Los Angeles, CA (2003)

Boq the munchkin thought he was the hottest guy on Earth. However, he was the only person who felt this way. But, that didn’t stop him from trying. Furthermore, the fact he wasn’t getting any made him even more depressed, and even more of an asshole. After getting out of the shower, Boq walked over to Glenda’s house, who had been out late the previous evening, wearing nothing but a towel wrapped around him. He rang the doorbell, and simply went inside without invitation. Glenda was lying in bed in her bedroom, obviously in deep thought, confused about numerous issues. Boq assumed she was sad because she had been longing for his attention. After asking what was wrong, he allowed the towel to slip off of his body and he climbed on top of her bed. Some places hold events called midget tossing. Glenda’s bedroom is on the second floor. Broken glass is extremely sharp and causes severe cuts and lacerations. Boq was naked. All of the aforementioned elements did not blend together for Boq, who was hurled out of Glenda’s second story window.

48. Maxine Nightingale
"Right Back Where We Started From"  3:17
Right Back Where We Started From
London, England

At that moment, Glenda realized that she and Lunchkit might possibly stand a chance; or at the very least, she could cure Lunchkit’s personality disorder. She recalled the way he used to be in college; they were friends in lab class. Once upon a time, she had a thing for him, but was too busy in school to ever pursue. Even worse, she had wasted so much time losing a popularity contest with Elphaba, and thinking back, that was just stupid. In a flash, Glenda appeared cute wearing shorts with a stripe down the side and striped socks pulled up to her knees as she dashed out of the house, bouncing up and down in a happy mood, singing a joyful tune as she skipped down the road in search of Lunchkit. There was definitely some work to be done here, but Glenda the Good Witch of the North still had some magic in her. Furthermore, a trying-to-make-things-work relationship with Lunchkit had far more benefits than staying here constantly having to fight off overly horny munchkins.

47. Cliff Richard
"Devil Woman"  3:38
I'm Nearly Famous
Lucknow, India/UK

Musical number in a jail cell; coupled with a dance routine and flashbacks from the previous evening. Zinquist and several other members of his army were being held prisoner in a dungeon. They were sitting in the cell, downtrodden, when the music started (at the start of the music, fog rises from the floor). Zinquist stood up and walked to the cell door and sang the song from behind bars while the rest of the army stayed in the background (they remained there throughout the song, providing the dance moves and background vocals; Zinquist does not dance, just clutches the bars as he attempts to sing like a major rock star). Throughout the song, there are flashbacks of the previous night, which coincide with the lyrics. Late in the night, they are captured by Elphaba and taken to her mansion. Zinquist was forced to drink a potion that made him euphoric and he collapsed on the floor. The rest of the army suffered nightmarish hallucinations as they too were made to drink the potion. Their barely conscious bodies were hoisted and dragged down the dungeon hall reminiscent to the “Comfortably Numb” scene from Pink Floyd’s The Wall. Surprisingly, Pink Floyd & Cliff Richard never collaborated together. The effects of the potion were still lingering.

46. Edu Lobo
"Toada"  3:51
Limite das águas
Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

A mob of people were congregated in front of The Emerald Palace discussing vital new policies that were to be voted on and developed into a new Constitution. Dorothy raised her hand because she felt she had something important that needed to be discussed: “I have a question, where the fuck is The Cowardly Lion?”

The crowd grew silent as the mediator of the group murmured, “How the fuck am I supposed to know?” He grew outraged with such a silly question, that he angrily stood up and with a trying to sound calm but nasty tone, “I don’t know. In fact, nobody knows where that mother fucker is. I have a question. Where the fuck is your God damn dog?”

Somebody stood up and shouted, “dog! Dog? You’re the white bitch with the mother fucking dog?” he stomped over to Dorothy with a shovel and a dustpan, “you,” he said angrily pointing at Dorothy, “I stepped in mother fucking dog shit because of you. Now take this shovel, and this mother fucking dust pan, and go back to the mother fucking yellow brick road, and clean up all the mother fucking dog shit! In fact, that should be the first thing in the Constitution, mother fucking dogs ain’t allowed to be no mother fuckin’ shittin’ on no mother fucking yellow brick road.” The crowd agreed.

45. Jennifer Warnes
"Right Time Of the Night"  2:53
Jennifer Warnes
Seattle, WA

Dorothy, with her ripped clothing, headed down the yellow brick road to scoop up all the shit that Toto had left behind. Christina raced after, and offered to walk with her and help her with the clean up. They held hands as they walked and were finally alone together. At first, Dorothy was ashamed and worried people hated her because of Toto. However, Christina comforted her, and assured her everything was going to be OK. She was cheerful, smiled sweetly at cute Dorothy, and giggled whenever Dorothy would discuss Toto and how he pooped on the yellow brick road, sometimes making jokes about how that other guy was an asshole and how funny it would have been to him step in the dog shit.

They reached yet another pile of dog poop while they were playfully joking about the guy stepping in the poop. As Dorothy was scooping the poop into the dustpan, she and Christina made eye contact. Christina caressed the soft skin of her bare arms, and they smooched, and then French kissed; Christina was fondling Dorothy’s whole body while Dorothy clutched the dustpan that was now full of dog shit. Dorothy finally let go of the dust pan, and Christina pushed her down on the grass on got on top of her. They continued to make out passionately; bad ass Christina on top, 1943 Dorothy in those old clothes with her legs wrapped around her. In the midst of these two beauties making out in the meadows of Oz, Dorothy rolled in the dog shit by accident; that was ample enough excuse for Christina to remove Dorothy’s clothes.

44. Smokie
"Living Next Door to Alice"  3:32
Midnight Café
Bradford, England

After a wonderful evening with Douchy Dexter, Alice the 62 year old munchkin realized her calling. She decided that she was going to pack her bags, leave Munchkinland to go out and find Douchy Dexter and start a new life with her newfound love. Alice’s next door neighbor, Boq, had been living next to her for 24 years. Like Glenda, he assumed that he and Alice also had a thing going, although they never did. As Alice was packing up her belongings, for sale sign in her front yard, Boq stood outside singing a sad song, while the other munchkins joined in for the farewell. Alice was no longer a resident of Munchkinland.

43. Led Zeppelin
"Achilles Last Stand"  10:23
London, England

The Wizard was outraged when he saw the celebrations taking place in the streets of The Emerald City. He was even more discontent knowing that a committee was currently drawing up a new Constitution right on his front porch. In a desperate act to once again claim supremacy, he opened the door, interrupted the committee, and reminded everybody of the laws currently in existence and how effective they have been. The congregation did not heed one bit of concern to the words he spoke or the policies he claimed to still be in existence. Once the door was open, and The Wizard was freely exposed, the mob of people turned their attention to the last remaining official that needed ousted.

However, The Wizard was equipped with a massive artillery device in which he had constructed and threatened to open fire and ordered everybody off the porch. He fired off one shot that sent a massive explosion into the crowd. This weapon was so powerful, that after he fired just one shot, the entire area was blinded with smoke and more than likely everyone was killed and The Wizard retained supremacy of Oz.

When the smoke finally did clear, The Wizard expected to see a street full of dead bodies. Instead, there were no casualties whatsoever, and standing right directly in front of him was Elphaba, holding the bomb-sized bullet that caused the explosion in her hands.

“Looking for this?” Elphaba politely asked him, holding the bomb in his face.

The Wizard froze in terror. Immediately, the mob of people stormed The Emerald Palace and raced after The Wizard who attempted to flee. He tried to slam the door in their faces, but it was no use. They all barged in, and led by Elphaba, chased him upstairs to his corridors. It was a long lasting adventurous chase where he narrowly escaped a few snares and left a couple citizens injured.

He made his way across the room, and then pushed a button causing the floor to drop. With him on one side, the mob on the other, The Wizard unveiled yet another device—his hot air balloon. Elphaba considered flying over huge drop, but the roof opened, The Wizard hopped into his balloon, and sailed up and out of The Palace, off into the distant sky, and eventually out of sight. The crowd cheered, clapped their hands, and gave each other high fives. The Wizard was officially gone from The Emerald City.

42. John Sebastian
"Welcome Back"  2:52
Welcome Back
New York, NY/North Hollywood, CA

The people of Oz returned to the front porch in a joyful celebration. In the street in front of The Emerald Palace, emerald fog emerged from middle of the road, the sewer lid opened, and a figure began rising from the pit. Everybody feared that it was going to be The Wizard who had found a way to return. But instead, much to everybody’s pleasure, the person who rose from the smoke was none other than the famous Cowardly Lion. When they saw it was him, everybody cheered, smiled, and went into song as they went over to greet him. The happiest of all was Elphaba, who had once rescued him from death as a cub. As The Cowardly Lion was welcomed back to the Land of Oz, everybody agreed that Oz officially had a new President…from king of the jungle to President of Oz.

41. Milton Nascimento
"Fransisco"  4:30
Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

Next item on the Constitution: immigration laws, which basically consist of none. The amendment states: A visa, a passport, a green card, or any form of Babylonia document shall NEVER be required to live peacefully in The Land of Oz. Citizenship shall not exist. So long as the individual does not attempt to violate the rights of the others currently residing in The Land of Oz, thus respecting the values of those already living here, all cultures shall be thoroughly welcomed. In addition, The Land of Oz is always open to any persons who have been oppressed by the injustices of a tyrannical leadership who sought “total annihilation” or genocide; namely the Native Americans from the world of Kansas and all surrounding communities; and the people on whole shall never be referred to as “whining curs” or “untamable.” Rather than build 872,246 Wal Marts, unoccupied territories of Oz shall be reserved for displaced communities who have suffered in their current living conditions albeit oppression, poverty, or inclement conditions regarding nature such as famine, drought or disaster; all displaced communities shall live in sovereignty, and enjoy all of the same liberties and freedoms as any other individual in The Land of Oz.

40. R. Stevie Moore
"Moons"  5:57
Nashville, TN/Bloomfield, NJ

The Wizard remembered he was wanted for murder back in his home state. He made an attempt to maneuver his balloon to go somewhere rather than his home, but out of The Land of Oz. However, there was nowhere to go, and his balloon mysteriously crashed into a solid white nothing that came from nowhere; perhaps this was the end of the universe. He made numerous desperate attempts to steer out of the corner he was trapped in, but it was no use, he was like a fly trying to escape from a window. As he searched for the opening, he lost control of his hot air balloon, and it went slowly crashing down a wall of hallucinatory images—closest similarity: the tunnel in Willie Wonka & The Chocolate Factory. Once the hot air balloon completely disintegrated and pummeled to the ground, he was once again in Munchkinland.

39. Queen
"Somebody to Love"  4:59
A Day at the Races
London, England

Talk on the yellow brick road was all about who’s banging who these days. There were several new couples, and some of them were even together right now on this beautiful day. But, The Tin Man was somewhat hopeless, and had no prospects in line whatsoever. Finally, he stood in the middle of the yellow brick road, amongst friends, and sang out “Can…”

At that moment, everybody stopped, stood side-by-side forming a line on both sides of the yellow brick road, and harmonized, “anybody, find me, somebody too, love.”

And the rabbit played the piano. More rabbits played other instruments.

The Tin Man sang solo in the middle of the road, walking up and down, singing to various random individuals who were all standing, arms around each other, in line along both sides of the road. The Tin Man was walking and singing in-between them. For the guitar solo, it was not played by the rabbit. Rather, The Tin Man’s axe turned into a guitar, and then into a microphone as he sang in the middle of the road, while many others harmonized with him. The highlight, showstopper, began to take shape at the 3:02 mark, when The Tin Man temporarily stopped singing, all the people on the side of the road started quietly by chanting, “find, me, somebody to love, find…” They gradually sang louder, clapped their hands, the rabbit thumped a powerful kick drum, and all at once it stopped...

...And The Tin Man slid down the yellow brick road on his knees and sang with one line with authority, a cappella, the perfect high note, “somebody, to-ew-ew-oh, love.” After the perfect note, fireworks filled the sky, the music kicked back in, the people danced, and the rabbit killed the piano.

38. Marilyn McCoo & Billy Davis, Jr
"You Don't Have To Be A Star (To Be In My Show)"  3:57
I Hope We Get to Love in Time
Beverly Hills, CA MM: Jersey City;BDJ: St. Louis

Cutty and Elphaba showed up on the scene ready to share the news The Wizard was gone. However, they arrived right at the moment when everybody was feeling compassionate for The Tin Man. Some random person yelled, “What about Cutty? He should have a girlfriend too!”

Elphaba grew quiet, hoping everybody else would leave that subject alone. Cutty put his arm around Elphaba, “no,” he said to Elphaba, “it’s OK. I got this.” He walked out into the middle of the street and made the important announcement… “listen up y’all, I’ve already got a (made the quote sign with his fingers) girl (end quote) friend.” Yule ran into the picture to Cutty, Elphaba smiled. Murmurs from around the crowd were heard, “holy shit, Cutty’s gay?” “And Elphaba is a fag hag?”

A symphony of rabbits played the upbeat dance hit as Cutty took Yule’s hand and they swayed in the middle of the yellow brick road. Cutty sang the Billy Davis Jr. lines, and Yule sang the Marilyn McCoo lines. They twirled each other, danced like superstars, and sang to each other, or cheek-to-cheek waltzing each other down the street.

37. AC/DC
"Rocker"  2:50
Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap
Sydney, Australia

The same person shouted, “and who the fuck is this rabbit.” Musical performance: The band of rabbits, on a stage mysteriously erected on the yellow brick road, full of amplifiers. The whole crowd turned their attention to the rabbits as they took the stage and informed the people of Oz just exactly who the fuck they really were. The rabbit band could play fast and loud, moved like energetic rock stars, as The rabbit with the head band told the crowd, “I’m a rocker, I’m a roller…” The crowd was into it as well, jumping up and down to the beat, head banging shit…crazy mother fuckers from Oz; crazy mother fucking rabbits.

36. Jorge Ben
"Ponta De Laca Africano"  3:52
Africa Brasil
Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

After the rabbits finished rocking the house, Elphaba took the stage, grabbed the microphone and told everybody that the government of The Emerald City had been overthrown, Zinquist had been exiled, and The Wizard of Oz had fled the city and nowhere to be found. The crowd cheered, threw their hats and various other things in the air, and begun to celebrate again. In the midst of the celebration, the rabbits kicked the music back in, an ideal song to celebrate victory in a revolution. Every person in the crowd danced and cheered, this was even better than the Packers winning the Super Bowl. They stomped photos of the Wizard, defaced all of his images, and tore down the ugly ass statue he had built.

35. The Rolling Stones
"Fool To Cry"  5:06
Black And Blue
London, England

The rabbits started their song, a slow bluesy number, while Lunchkit was feeling dejected while sitting all alone at the bar; he started drinking early today. His confession to Glenda did not go as he anticipated; at least he had no knowledge of how it really went. He was feeling ashamed for making such a bold question, and seriously questioning the patterns of his life. While the band played, the dishwasher, still drying the exact same plate, approached Lunchkit and sang to him, a story he may be able to relate to. It was half singing, half speaking, in the same manner that Lunchkit wowed the crowd just the night before, as Popco provided the soulful background vocals. What Lunchkit didn’t know was that Popco’s true love had been eaten by a fox and he was living out a second-rate life simply trying to move forward through an emotional roller coaster. Popco refused to give up completely; he was attempting to adapt, though his life could never be perfect again. Lunchkit still had hope. The dishwasher sang to Popco as well, and eventually tossed the plate into the garbage.

34. Willie Nelson
"Precious Memories"  7:37
The Troublemaker
Austin, TX

Dorothy was lying in the grass completely naked in a state of orgasmic bliss; her breasts looked exactly like you always imagined. Christina was sitting upright smoking a cigarette. She had induced multiple orgasms on Dorothy first with fingers, then with her tongue, and finally fucked her body limp with a strap-on dildo. If that wasn’t exhilarating enough, Christina left a rotating vibrator inserted in Dorothy’s vagina while she softly caressed, kissed, and eased Dorothy’s entire body. In fact, she still had cum oozing out of her pussy while Christina was smoking her cigarette feeling good about herself. The trees smiled and looked around at each shaking their head with approval. At once, they dropped dozens of apples onto the ground, surrounding Dorothy with beautiful, red, sweet, delicious apples. Amidst cheers, the main tree said, “The white bitch can have all the apples she wants now.”

33. Invisible
"Doscientos Años"  3:10
El Jardín de los Presentes
Buenos Aires, Argentina

If this dishwasher can have a sweet woman in the poor section of town, Lunchkit does not need an array of luxuries to find his soul mate. Rather than have a limo driver escort him down the yellow brick road to Munchkinland to find Glenda, he opted to walk there empty handed. He did, however, stop to change clothes. Rather than wear a fancy tuxedo like he normally wore, he donned attire that regular people wore—douchy styles from 1976. The goal, this time, was to impress Glenda with his mere personality and tell her that he would give up everything for her. In return, he would tell her that she looks absolutely fabulous even without a pair of ruby slippers… and that the way he feels for her goes beyond personal appearance. It was a difficult journey, one that required courage, and one that could potentially end in ultimate misery. He knew the rejection could lead to unrecoverable despair. Rather than take the scenic route, he went through the poor part of town, which was about to recieve serious upgrades since the Wizard's class system had been eliminated for good.

32. Pavlov's Dog
"Valkerie"  5:22
At The Sound of the Bell
St. Louis, MO

The first munchkin The Wizard encountered after the balloon crashed was a little old man named Roscoe. Immediately, The Wizard bullied him around, smacking him on the top of the head, and kicking him in the ass. After he shoved Roscoe to the ground, he grabbed another unsuspecting munchkin by the head and repeatedly plunged his knee into the little guy’s face. He had already befriended Boq a long time ago showering him with wealth in order to conform to his policies. Once again, Boq was bought out as he betrayed his own people. Before too long, The Wizard and Boq were the rulers of Munchkinland and all the other munchkins were now slaves forced to build The Wizard another palace. In the meantime, The Wizard often raided their homes and seized many of their belongings and beat them into preparing food for him; held many of them at gunpoint while he ate all of their cereal. It was going to be just like the good ol’ days.

31. Rose Royce
"Crying"  3:00
Car Wash
Los Angeles, CA

Glenda was not home. Lunchkit took a walk to Munchkinland to see if he could spot her there. He first saw Popco and his band, playing a slow song that signaled trouble. The music sounded through the whole village as Lunchkit’s thoughts turned to Popco wondering how in the Hell this damn rabbit had the ability to just show up at various places. But then he saw a 73 year old Munchkin woman performing physical labor that she was physically capable of—she was carrying 50 pound bags of mortar mix on her shoulders. Lunchkit walked over to see if she may need any assistance, and the scene was both shocking and horrifying. All of the munchkins were doing physical labor in a field, working diligently in the hot sun, all the while Boq was out there striking them with a whip and The Wizard was seated on the back porch drinking lemonade.

30. Picchio dal Pozzo
"La Bolla"  4:30
Picchio dal Pozzo
Genova, Italy

Lunchkit was terrified. As the munchkins were being tortured in the fields, Popco and his band continued to play haunting music that enhanced the suffering. One of the munchkins refused to do anymore work and got into a heated altercation with Boq. As the two feuded, Boq struck him with a shovel. The munchkin attempted to fight back, but The Wizard rose from his seat and shot the munchkin dead. A group of munchkins were forced to come over, toss the dead munchkin in a wheelbarrow and carry him off into the distance. As he was returning to the porch, The Wizard spotted Lunchkit, who had been one of his allies. “Hey, Lunchkit, thank God you are here. You’re just the man I wanted to see.”

29. Vainica Doble
"La Rabieta"  4:10
Madrid, Spain

Popco grabbed Lunchkit’s hand and poof; the rabbits were on stage back at the celebration. The rabbits were playing; The dishwasher’s girlfriend from the poor neighborhood took over vocals. She sang in Spanish while the music remained haunting; so haunting that is stopped the celebration. Lunchkit was on the stage, but climbed off and went shuffling through the crowd for Glenda. When he finally found her, fortunately she was standing next to Elphaba, who was actually prepared to unleash terror on Lunchkit. However, Lunchkit had other news, “there’s trouble. The Wizard of Oz has taken over Munchkinland and making slaves out of the munchkins. He’s abusing them all and forcing them to construct a new palace.” The moment he was finished relating the message to the two mistresses of magic, the Spanish singer screamed into the microphone, Popco torched a chilling guitar solo, and the crowd once again went into rage. Led by Elphaba, with Glenda following close-by, all characters with prior speaking parts next, and the hundreds of other people on hand marched down the yellow brick road towards Munchkinland.

28. Van Der Graaf Generator
"My Room (Waiting for Wonderland)"  8:02
Still Life
Manchester, England

The Land of Oz was turning sour. The yellow bricks were no longer shining. Lunchkit had worked his way towards the back, now walking with regular people relating what he had witnessed. People were immediately stricken with sadness upon reports that one of the munchkins had been shot and killed. They wondered who it was and hoped for the best.

Glenda and Elphaba were walking the fastest, talking the fastest, and moved ahead quite a distance. Everybody remained behind them, but could no longer hear what they were saying. Although the music was slow, the mood was somber, fear was in the air… the women spoke swiftly, and powerful women have the ability to divert their attentions prior to engaging in battle.

“What’s up with Lunchkit,” Elphaba asked Glenda as they were walking.

“He’s in love with me.” There are no pauses whatsoever in their conversation, strictly business.

Elphaba: “Have you slept with him?”
Glenda: “No, not yet.”
Elphaba: “I heard he has a small cock.”
Glenda: “That’s ok, I have a tight pussy.”
Elphaba: “We need Christina.”
Glenda: “Who the fuck’s that?”
Elphaba: “She’s an ass kicker. Dorothy’s back in town.”
Glenda: “Who the fuck’s Dorothy?”
Elphaba: “Bitch, you’re stupid.”
Glenda: “I don’t know no fucking Dorothy.”
Elphaba: “That chick from Kansas who’s even whiter than you are.”
Glenda: “Oh, that bitch. Did you kill her?”
Elphaba: “No, we’re friends now. She’s with Christina.”
Glenda: “Christina who?”

In quick succession, Elphaba snapped her fingers, poof, Christina and Dorothy both appeared, both naked, and Christina immediately walked swiftly alongside Elphaba and Glenda, Dorothy lingered slightly behind them.

Elphaba: “This bitch.”
Christina: “What the fuck!”
Elphaba: “I see you fucked Dorothy.”
Christina: “I did.”
Elphaba: “How was it?”
Christina: “Not bad.”
Glenda: “Them titties look exactly like I imagined.”
Elphaba: (while keeping up her fast pace, glances back at Dorothy’s titties) “Agreed.”
Christina: “Well, keep away from them, they’re mine now.”

Elphaba snapped both fingers and both Christina and Dorothy are fully clothed with the clothes they had on, boos are heard from the crowd following in the back.

Elphaba: “Christina, this is Glenda. Glenda, Christina.”
Christina: “Hi.”
Glenda: “Hi.”
Christina: “I want learn magic.”
Elphaba: “Maybe someday.”
Christina: “Where the fuck are we going?”
Glenda: “We’re off to see the wizard, the wonderful Wizard of Oz.”
Christina: “I thought that prick disappeared.”
Elphaba: “No, he’s taken over Munchkinland.”
Christina: “Oh, those little fucking twerps.”
Elphaba: “Quiet, Glenda’s fucked all of them. That’s how her pussy’s still so tight.”
Glenda: “Fuck you.”
Christina: “Those little bastards tied me up and stole shit from my Dodge Dart.”
Elphaba: “Sounds hot.”
Christina: “So does Glenda’s tight pussy.”
Elphaba: (with the same rapid glance she gave Dorothy’s titties) “Agreed.”
Glenda: “Fuck you both.”
Dorothy: “Yea, fuck you both.”

Elphaba shook her head and smiled at Christina, “fucking white bitches.” 28

27. Francesco De Gregori
"Festival"  4:33
Rome, Italy

They perched themselves on top of a hill and observed the scene in Munchkinland. Everything was in total despair, even the music Popco and his band were playing on the rooftops. Another palace was in the process of being erected. An elderly munchkin man was being forced to do foundation work, and sadly, he fell in—screaming for help while stuck in wet cement. A different munchkin merely poured more cement mix on top of him. The scene was a total disaster.

The three women attempted to devise a plan. Boq was spotted in the fields still carrying a whip, he needed taken out and more than likely would not put up too much of a challenge. On the other hand, there was The Wizard still armed with a rifle. Although the rifle was no threat to Elphaba, it could still easily kill pretty much everyone else. They needed to develop a plan that would prevent him from shooting any of the munchkins, or anybody else for that matter. But, there was no army this time, so The Wizard was basically on his own. The strategy was planned, but they had to wait until The Wizard went inside the house.

26. Triumph
"Blinding Light Show/Moonchild"  8:40
Toronto, ON, Canada

Lunchkit donated his limousine and parked it out front. Gradually, refugee munchkins escaped and piled into the limo where they were taken to safety.

The Wizard went inside the house use the bathroom. Glenda rapidly stormed over to Boq and demanded to know what in the fuck he was doing. After a period where he was stumbling over his words, Glenda picked him up, spun him around and flung him to the ground. She pried the whip out of his hand and beat him with it. Then, she got the traitor munchkin in the headlock and wrestled him over to The Wizards hot air balloon. Once again, she picked him, held him high over her head, and body slammed him into the balloon’s basket. Implying her own magic skills, with the wave of a wand, the balloon was sent sailing into the air with Boq trapped inside. This time, it managed to float completely out of the Land of Oz.

After Boq was disposed of, the munchkins who had been enslaved fled from the field and into Lunchkit’s limo. They piled as many in as possible and the limo sped off.

In a frantic rush, The Wizard returned to the back porch to find the munchkin slaves running for freedom, his hot air balloon sailing off with Boq the only passenger, and a limousine peeling off in the street. Once he opened the door, he was met by Elphaba.

Surprisingly, that rabbit could play classical music on the guitar, and played it well.

The Wizard, however, still had slaves inside the house. Immediately, he apprehended a munchkin woman, held her by the hair, and put a gun to her head. He threatened to kill her and all the rest of them little runts inside if Elphaba didn’t back the fuck up. The bullet was too close for her to catch this one.

Christina crept in from behind, shoved the gun out of the face of the munchkin, and punched The Wizard three swift times in the stomach knocking him down into the grass. He jumped up, and quickly aimed the gun towards Christina and fired at her. However, standing in front of Christina now was The Tin Man, and the bullets did not faze him.

That rabbit had the ability to shift from lovely classical guitar playing to fast hard rock in a matter of seconds. And when the band shifted…

The Wizard was lying on the ground holding the gun, thinking he had killed Christina, but merely put a couple small dents in The Tin Man. Elphaba quickly jumped in and snatched the gun from his hand. As soon as the gun was out of his possession, Christina came in and rapidly stomped on The Wizard’s face, busting his nose and bloodying up his whole face. The Tin Man joined in and chopped him up ferociously with the axe. Unlike Poignant Pete, The Wizard could not withstand axe wounds and was dead in a brutal fashion.

Christina was not finished. She ran over to the munchkin who had tied her up and tried to steal her belongings, grabbed him by his hair, and threw him to the ground. She kicked him in the side knocking the breath out of him. As he was clutching his stomach, rolling around in pain, she tossed a shovel at him. “You’re not free yet.”

Elphaba looked at her, put up her hands, and said, “what the fuck?”

“This is the little bastard who tied me up and stole my shit.”

The Tin Man stepped in and offered some gentle words of compassion, “now Christina, you have to find it in your heart to forgive those that have wronged you.”

“No,” said Christina, “fuck that, not yet.”

“Christina,” Elphaba started to say something...

Christina interrupted, “do YOU want to bury this cock sucker?”

Elphaba looked around; there were little pieces of The Wizard everywhere. “And,” concluded Christina, “it’s the little bastard’s punishment for fucking with the wrong person.”

Elphaba shook her head, “fine.”

Christina grabbed the munchkin by the collar in one hand, and carried the shovel in the other, “let’s go you little shit.”

The Tin Man did not approve. It was the munchkin’s lucky day for The Tin Man offered to help dig the hole, and The Tin Man actually did most of the digging. However, he continued, with calm gentle wording, to express his disapproval of Christina’s behavior the whole time he was digging.

“Shut the fuck up Tin Man,” Christina yelled as she threw a stone and hit The Tin Man in the back of the head while he was digging. He shook his head in dismay.

While two men were digging a hole burying another man, the three women sat on the porch with their feet propped up on the rail. They were all three drinking a beer together, laughing at Christina’s comments as she continued to jokingly talk shit about The Tin Man. Some would consider this slightly feminist.

Munchkin photo from wordpress.com

1 comment:

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