NC-17 Soundtraxxx Best Songs of 2011

The Best of 2011 + The Best Christmas Ev-errr!
Part 1: White People Just Be Wastin' Money at Christmas
Part 2: A Mail Order Bride Delivered Right to Your Door
Part 3: Give the Gift of Real Life Sex Dolls
Part 4: Holiday Retail Employees Strike
Part 5: This is Going to Be the Best Christmas Ev-errr!
Part 6: Santa, Rudolph, Frosty, and Them Other Christmas Niggaz
Part 7: Some Bullshit About $230
Part 8: New Year's Resolution: Fire Your Own Voice of Reason

Part 8: New Year's Resolution- Fire Your Own Voice of Reason
Press play on the image below to hear the 25 best songs of 2011.

25. Moon Duo
"In The Sun"  5:12
San Francisco, CA

These days, it has become almost impossible to tell the difference between a psychotic episode and a moment of clarity. In the past, I had felt as if it were those moments of clarity that prevented psychotic episodes from delving even further into instability. That was those days. This is these days. These days I wonder if were those so-called moments of clarity that were the actual psychotic episodes; it was the moments of clarity that had gotten me into trouble, not the periods of delusion.

24. Sex Church
"Beneath the Bottom"  5:31
Growing Over
Vancouver, BC Canada

Somewhere along the lines, some person, one person, came up with the notion that it is proper to think about certain aspects, but thinking about other things is grounds for a mental asylum. There are doctors who feel that a person with no brain activity whatsoever is more “normal” than a person who attempts to think about everything. Any form of creativity may be deemed as irrational, and perhaps symptoms of mental insanity.

23. The Dirtbombs
"Shari Vari"  5:35
Party Store
Detroit, MI

I think about this, and therefore I am considered weird. This and that happens to run through my mind, and whenever I tell people about it, they try to avoid me at all costs. Some say that I am crazy, and prone to do erratic things. Others claim that I am crazy, but this type of crazy has a whole new meaning; erratic behavior to them means excitement. There is nothing that I am afraid to do. The sort of material regular people think about have no interest to me. Unfortunately, the society I was born in does approve of my thought patterns. However, I am expected to visit for the holidays. The family warns the others about me. I am not permitted to truly be myself around my family or in the presence of family members acquainted to whatever person I am dating at the time. The holidays are my worst time of the year. I’d rather be with people who accept me for who I am.

22. Cat's Eyes
"Sooner Or Later"  3:59
London, England

Visiting my in-laws for the holidays is a total nightmare. My spouse only got together with me in the first place as a rebellion against the parents. I actually love my spouse, my spouse loves the parents, the parents hate me. The things that I think about are the exact opposite of what they think about. These people think I am mentally deranged. I think they are mentally deranged. It is strictly a matter of opinion. By means of what is considered “normal” in all of the pamphlets written by the doctors, they are more normal than I am. But, what other people constitute as normal, those who despise the manual, think they are mentally ill beyond repair. These people actually pray for good weather.

21. Death Grips
"Spread Eagle Cross the Block"  3:51
Sacramento, CA

I never think about this, those things never cross my mind, therefore I am considered mentally stable. Every decision I make is completely basic, and therefore I have what is considered solid character. I would find it pointless to attempt to visualize things that are not even there. Furthermore, if it is not there, it does not enter my mind. All of my ideas are based on things that are all around me. I do not associate myself with weirdos who think about things that are not there. These people scare me.

20. Ringo Deathstarr
"Do It Every Time"  2:38
Colour Trip
Austin, TX

It is all a matter of perception. Robert’s family feels as if he is blessed with a vivid imagination. He has seriously delved into notions that tropical fish have the exact same thinking patterns as humans. In his aquarium, he has assigned a specific personality type for each of the fish, and has decorated the tank in accordance with that particular fish personality trait. His fish appear to be extremely happy. Before leaving his home for the holidays, a friend is to come over and take care of the fish. His family finds him fascinating, and listens attentively whenever he talks about the fish in his tank. He is also a welcome addition to the family of his in-laws.

19. The Men
"Think"  3:37
Leave Home
New York, NY

You never know what Staci is going to do, or say. But, we love Staci. She is always the life of the party. We always make certain that Staci comes over for the holidays. The poor girl may not make as much money as we do, she is too free spirited to hold an office job, and has so much personality to be cooped up in a cubicle, so, we always have to pay her way. We view it as Staci’s job to entertain guests for the holidays; if she weren’t here it would be boring. The ones who care for her, we used to get on her case, and tell her to do something with herself, get a better job, but she’ll never listen. She accepts us, so we accept her. Paying for her travel expenses and all that, well, that’s a bargain simply to just see her and have her over. The moment she arrived this year, cousin Mary screamed and declared, “this is going to be the best Christmas ev-errr!”

18. Young Prisms
"In Your Room"  5:57
Friends for Now
San Francisco, CA

Victoria thinks about this, and that just went through her mind. She lives in a small town in a red state. Therefore, her family is not tolerant of her mental disability. They feel that Victoria needs a lobotomy. Also, they are not willing to pay for the lobotomy, even though they are the ones who feel it is necessary. The family will monitor Victoria’s spending, tell she isn’t allowed to make certain purchases (some of these purchases may mean that she is insane) and keep reminding her that she needs to save her money for the lobotomy.

17. Ponytail
"AwayWay"  5:20
Do Whatever You Want All the Time!
Baltimore, MD

People use drugs so that they can think about the same things that I think about when I am sober. To be honest with you, I have no clue where the things in my mind come from. But, I will say that I am capable of envisioning anything. In my opinion, I am a visionary, although I cannot take any credit for it because these visualizations merely pop up without me even having to think of them. My mind is not equipped with a shut off valve, and I have no idea how to make it stop. I don’t know where it comes from either. Some people think that I am genius. Some think I am completely berserk and will not even speak to me. There are those who attempt to belittle me, or tell others that I am some sort of fruitcake. Nobody has ever called these people geniuses. The best description that can be said of them is the word “normal” written in the manuals.

16. Dumbo Gets Mad
"Raymond Play"  3:02
Elephants at the Door
Reggio, Italy/Los Angeles, CA

I do not turn to the television for gift ideas. In fact, I do not turn to the television for anything. None of my opinions are based on what I have seen on television. If a television program offers some sort of advice, I will not follow it. Television, for all intents and purposes, is the definition of normal and has become the pamphlet that suggested the person who called the aforementioned narrator a “weirdo” is completely normal. They have claimed we should lead our lives in accordance with his standards. Because I have rejected the notions based on television, I am considered abnormal…my family no longer wants me to visit for the holidays.

15. The War on Drugs
"I Was There"  3:50
Slave Ambient
Philadelphia, PA

Many people struggle with the ability to differentiate artistic from mentally deranged. There is a struggle between being imaginative, being creative, being delusional, being psychotic. If a person has the ability to create a total fabrication of altered reality, then that person may be a serial killer. Hitler was an artist. However, Hitler was a rational artist. He judged artwork based on technique rather than creation. If a creation was too abstract, he had no appreciation for it whatsoever, and these people, artists, were condemened into camps. Same principles apply today. People afraid of another’s artistic creativity act like Hitler; insane asylums are but concentration camps for artists.

14. Okkervil River
"The Rise"  6:17
I Am Very Far
Austin, TX

Then, there are those people who are completely 100% normal, as described in the manual now written for television, but wish to be artistic. These people will go so far as to even take classes to try to improve creativity by studying the technique of those deemed clinically insane by the commentators. They will attempt to say things they consider surreal, imagery, or overly idealistic, mostly random thoughts that often lead to nothing. In some circles, art should never be ordinary; and ordinary people should not attempt to create art.

13. Yuck
"Rubber"  7:14
London, England

Most artists are simply born artistic. Normal people are often born normal. Why does there have to be some sort of competition as to who is more mentally stable. Normal people think that artists are losers with obvious psychological issues because their thought patterns are irrational. Artists feel that normal people are stupid, far too stupid to understand deeply conceptual issues that reach far beyond than what their narrow minds are capable of achieving; normal people have irrational thought patterns, because they are usually non-existent and in no way represent progress. If it were up to normal people, we would still be living in the middle ages.

12. Oneohtrix Point Never
"Sleep Dealer"  3:10
Boston, MA/New York, NY

My child is completely normal, a good kid. However, she has some artistic ability. She can sing, she has a voice for it, or at least her mother and I think so. My daughter does not write songs or play any instruments. She can not hear music in her head. When she is not singing, she is watching TV, or talking on the phone to her friends. She does not have a musical mind, but she can sing. I am a banker. I am rich. In my opinion, she defines what an artist should be, she has technique. I will pay money for her to showcase her artistic abilities. I will have put on television, with the rest of them, on some show that features other non-artistic people with the techniques that have been written in the manual by other non-visionaries…shows such as American Idol. I am an American. I am a Nazi. I rule the world.

And comes the argument of artistic statement. Or, music that matters.

To some people, music is far more important than just some show on TV being judged by personnel with limited credibility. He had a major label. He had all the financing he needed. And, he was being pushed out of retirement to make one more record, sort of a farewell to all of his fans.

He could have made a lot of money, and when he died, which unfortunately may be coming sooner than we all hoped, and left his family a huge inheritance. He could have let that hit maker write songs for him, you know, that one hit maker that writes all of the songs currently littering top 40 radio. He could have had his album produced by the one producer, that person who produces all of them. They even could have allowed him to use the autotune vocals, which would have been a real hit. Furthermore, he had access to all of the guests he wanted. As a country superstar, he could have had Keith Urban, Kenny Chesney, Shania Twain, all of them could have played on his record, his final record, and the world would remember as that guy who sang that one song they play over the intercom at the grocery store.

But, there are some people who actually listen to music. Music is the means in which artistic creations are stimulated, though not necessarily created. For these people, music is not something you just watch on TV, or something that plays in the background while you talk to Becky on the phone, or something only heard while out dancing. Music has far more value than that.

For his final creation, he decided to make an artistic statement. Does that include having a duet with Taylor Swift. Unfortunately, no. That means you work with the genuine professionals in the business, other artists, other visionaries, other musical minds. The hit maker means nothing, that person isn’t even an artist. But, Paul Westerberg is, and having Paul Westerberg write a song for you to perform in your final days is far greater compliment than having Carrie Underwood sing a tune.

The band is to be the greatest musicians in all the world, not some person press “demo” on the keyboards on display at Target and that’s the backbeat. There is no Trisha Yearwood or any likes of the top 40. Rather, guests include The Dandy Warhols, Robert Pollard from Guided by Voices, and even Dick Dale. Because, for these people, music is a way of life, and that’s how some artists live.

Ladies and gentlement, for his farewell performance, Mr. Glen Campbell…

11. Glen Campbell
"Ghost On The Canvas"  4:13
Ghost On The Canvas
Billstown, AR/Phoenix, AZ

10. Coma Cinema
"Greater Vultures"  3:15
Blue Suicide
Columbia, SC

The life of the artists is usually met with very little success. Most artists do not make much money, and many of them shun the notion of earning money. This is met with much hostility from those in regular society. Normal people consider their lifestyles pathetic because they are not trying to earn enough money to buy a new sofa. Many of their children do not believe in Santa, Frosty, or any of the other Christmas personnel. It is peculiar, because these are fictitious creations that once upon a time required a great deal of creativity. Perhaps the world has outgrown these images, and maybe its time to create new ones. A real show featuring contestants; create an all new original Christmas show; any old characters that had already been used is gruonds for immediate disqualification. Maybe next Christmas.

9. Rangers
"Podunk Baal"  4:02
Pan Am Stories
San Francisco, CA

Victoria had a secret, she wasn’t getting a lobotomy. Even though her family despised her thought processes, they assumed she was going to show up for Christmas dinner. But, she never arrived. These people even went looking for her. They called, but no answer. When they went to her house, everything had been evacuated; Victoria was gone. Her family called the police, but she was never found. In a road far away from that small town, far away from evertyhing she had been taught was right, Victoria is her own person, totally fee, and she has never been happier.

8. Peaking Lights
"Summertime"  5:26
San Francisco, CA

As it turned out, Mrs. Claus was much nicer to the artistic children than the money hungry corporate children this year. Strangely, Mrs. Claus supported the cashier’s strike, and gave all of them nice presents for Christmas. As for those who yapped on their cell phones while standing in line, they were woken up by Mrs. Claus, scolded, sprayed with a water hose, and told they ain’t getting a damn thing until they learn to shut the fuck up for five damn minutes.

7. El Columpio Asesino
"On the Floor"  3:15
Pamplona, Spain

In a strange turn of events, the Mrs. Claus Real Life Sex Doll became a popular seller. Mrs. Claus, programmed to even say mean and hateful things, even outsold the original Snow White. Soon, all of the Christmas characters started selling. Uncle Pedro was seen on his rooftop literally mounting Rudolph. Uncle Charlie fucked Frosty until the mother fucker melted. Technically, Beverly D’Angelo from Christmas Vacation counted as a Christmas character, and she nearly outsold Mrs. Claus.

6. Dirty Beaches
"Horses"  4:07
Taiwan/Vancouver, BC Canada

It was at the Real Life Sex Doll corporation where all the new Christmas characters were created, although many of them somewhat perverted—this should seem obvious considering the source. DD Dana was able to shoot toys out of her hardened nipples. Preston the Peanut was everywhere, and only bought nice presents to spouses who were loyal and faithful. This son of a bitch supposedly was holed up somewhere in Georgia though, nobody took it too seriously. And seeing cousin Roger fucking a peanut, that was a bit peculiar.

5. Minks
"Funeral Song"  3:08
By the Hedge
New York, NY

Sitting in the car in the rain. He didn’t even want to go out there, he could no longer face them. He recalled a voice he had heard in the past: “Sometimes you gotta do what’s best for you, nigger.” There was a moment of silence in which he attempted to reflect on this notion. According to Victoria’s family, this was grounds for a lobotomy. Back in the day, the original Santa Claus thought he knew what was best for the world, but he got stuck in the chimney and burnt up; they pulled out a blackened Santa skeleton, still smoldering. The gifts had been burned. The children were traumatized for life.

4. Wild Beasts
"End Come Too Soon"  7:33
Leeds, England

Truth be known, I never knew what was best for me. Somewhere along the way, I always dreamed that someday somebody would show up, somebody who knew all the answers. Maybe I did know what was best, but I had no clue how to ever achieve this.
In the passenger seat sat the voice of reason. He, too, was at a loss for words.

3. Pure X
"Voices"  3:56
Austin, TX

Outside the car, the rain continued to fall. A mob of people approached his car. It was everybody he ever knew. It was all of them that he had previously listened to, the one’s who maybe he hoped had answers. They attempted to get him out of the car, he could not leave.

In the passenger seat, the voice of reason diminished.

There was a knock on the window. It was the voice of reason. “Hey, man,” his voice calm as usual, “let me in here.”

I could not even open the door for the voice of reason.

2. Dead Skeletons
"Dead Mantra"  8:39
Dead Magick
Reykjavík, Iceland

The voice of reason had become one of them, one of the others, one of those he assumed had the answers.

As the rain fell, they banged on the doors, banged on the windows. Let us in! Come out! Listen to us, we know what is best for you.

He was confused, he had listened to them for so long, yet nothing was ever accomplished.

The steering emitted a glow. Out came a new face. There sat in the passenger seat, a person he had never seen before.

“You want the answers, do you? I know all the answers. Just listen to me, cat, we can do something we had never dreamed of, something we always knew we could do, but… Let me to ya, man, all you got to do is listen to me. I know all, I see all, I got connects, I know where you need to be.”

And the crowd continued to bang on the doors, louder. “Don’t listen to him.”

“Listen to me.”

#1! Braids
"Native Speaker"  8:25
Native Speaker
Montreal, QC Canada

He looked every single person he ever knew right in the face, as they seemed to be smashing against his windshield, the side mirrors, banging on the doors, attempting to forcefully enter the vehicle. The rain pounded on their heads. It was his mother, his father, select friends, co-workers…it was the voice of reason who held the most impact. The voice of reason had guided him for so many years, and there he stood, in the rain, stern. But, he didn’t budge. Still confused, he refused to open the door, even for his own voice of reason who had guided him through survival his whole entire life.

The new person sat in the passenger, still narrating what needs to be done, what he can do, how it all can be this major success story.

I looked over at him, as my voice of reason, and all I’ve ever known were attempting to pursue me not to trust this person. But, what did they really know? Where had they gotten me? I looked at him, listened for a second and finally asked: “Who the fuck are you?”

He looked out the window, cooly replied, “who the fuck are they?”

They left together, him, a new voice of reason, and $230. Was it a moment of clarity or a psychotic episode? He had no idea where he was going with the $230, but he anticipated nothing but failure. Should the trip become a complete waste of time, he could always have a Real Life Sex Doll created in her image. But, would that be the image he selected? Maybe seek a new image, maybe not. He had three hours to decide this. This is going to be the best Christmas ev-errr!

"Dream Over"  3:40
Austin, TX

Written, Designed, and Music Compiled by Tony J. Neal

None of the original songs were ever intended to be used in this type of format.

Descriptions in no way shape or form intended to be a truthful reflection or interpretation of the song or the artist in reference.
Most characters and themes completely fictitious and any similarities to actual people living or deceased are coincidental.
Usage of actual historical figures not intended to be historically accurate.
Band info and images provided by rateyourmusic
Playlists created on 8tracks
Thanks to Sarah Brush and Ben Rotz for the $230 conversation piece.

To Santa Claus, Frosty, all the other myths, and whoever first said..."this is the best Christmas ev-errr!" with the perfect fluctuation of ev-errr.


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