Part 1: Sunday Funday
Part 2: Secondary Aspects That Affect Compatibility Ratings
Part 3: Attempts to Extinguish the Flame
Part 4: A Change Is Gonna Do Me Some Good
Part 5: The Road Comes to an End
Part 6: Drastic Alteration in the Registry
Part IV: A Change Is Gonna Do Me Some Good
Press play to listen to the songs.
The ideal goal in a relationship is to grow to love the petty annoyances that other does. With Travis and Jane, this happened fairly quickly. Their first night out, they went out to a late night diner; Jane sat down, Travis sat across from her. He wasn't even all the way seated yet when Jane had gotten up, moved across the booth to sit down beside him. Travis found this odd, for he generally did not like couples who sat next to each other with nobody seated on the other side. When Jane did it, though, it was cute. This was discussed a few weeks later at another restaurant; they sat across from each other. Jane kept saying, repeatedly, "move over and let me sit next to you." Travis made several attempts to deny this request, but eventually relinquished his position.
74. Beat Happening
"Pajama Party in a Haunted Hive" 4:39
Jane did not like scary movies at all. Travis occasionally liked scary movies for comedic value, and had wanted to watch one just for the hell of it. The trip to the video store was an adventure, as usual. He insisted they watch some cheesy horror movie with a gruesome cover on the box; she wanted to watch a cartoon and was in the family section. One time, and one time only, she agreed to a horror movie. He hated it, but made jokes about it throughout the entire movie. Jane was petrified and scared to be by herself. It was normally Jane's idea to watch a movie, and, the movie had to meet her approval. Even if Travis didn't want to watch a movie period, he still had to, and it would never be anything that he selected. She found comfort simply sitting next to him on the couch, giggling at some comedy she liked; he did too although he would never admit to it.
The two had several inside jokes involving bizarre instances that could only happen when the two of them were together, such as "The Goodwill Shit." Jane dragged him to Goodwill one day, which was against his will. Upon getting there, he went to the bathroom, and the smell was so bad he deemed it a global contamination threat. Somebody walked into the bathroom and smelled it too and this poor soul nearly died as well. In fact, the entire store stunk and Jane and her friend noticed it too... from way back in appliances. Finally, they left, and a primary factor was because the smell was so bad. What a gross mother fucker this was, to enter a Goodwill store and take such a God awful smelling shit that it made an entire store nauseous. They talked about this among themselves, but it took a more interesting twist 3 days later when they went to see a band play. Some person neither of them had ever met approached them outside and stated: "Dude, just wanted to let you know that it wasn't me who took that shit at Goodwill." They laughed and everybody joked that you have to be one foul miserable son-of-a-bitch to stink up a bathroom so bad that random strangers will still be talking about it 3 days later.
"Solar Anus" 4:36
Both Travis and Jane were avid music lovers and with the exception of movies on DVD, neither had any interest in TV. They liked a lot of the same music, but also disliked a lot of each other's favorites. Jane was not particularly fond of music that was too excessively noisy or too weird. Whenever Travis wanted to listen to this type of music, she would declare that it was horrible, and change it without his permission.
71. The Jesus Lizard
Perhaps he had a premonition that he was soon going to encounter the woman he was 100% compatible with, or figured he could score another who liked noisy music, and that would define a lot. But, no matter what, he was indeed falling for Jane (already had actually) but was not willing to admit it. He even grew to find it amusing to listen to her complain about the music she didn't like, and would purposely play songs just to hear her reaction. A comedy show could have been produced titled: Jane's Reactions to Noise Rock.
70. Nasty Savage
"Welcome Wagon" 5:02
Unfortunately, the more Travis fell in love with Jane, the less he liked himself. Even worse, the more that he cherished their time spent alone together, the more he objected to the outside world that continuously seemed to provide nothing except obstacles to deter their happiness. However, she dreamed of escaping to a cozy retreat away from the rest of society; for reasons unknown, Travis objected to this. He felt as if he would someday find his place in this world—that place that was lost long ago.
69. Savage Republic
Los Angeles, CA
Despite the fact that his life was beginning to revolve around her, he never confessed to it. Travis never did anything overly romantic nor pledged how much he was in love with her. Sometimes he would do just the opposite, discuss his future plans, which did not include her. He never discussed any sort of commitment to the future with her, and it always seemed as if they were going to go separate ways soon.
68. The Moffs
"Stealing Cake" 7:54
While Jane would plan out events for the two of them, Travis looked forward to days when he could be alone for awhile. On that note, Jane found it displeasing that he never surprised her with anything fun, and thought maybe he had no ambition. Travis felt as if he was losing all of his free time to himself, and when they weren't together he had other things to do, other projects to complete; that when they weren't together, he enjoyed those periods because he could focus on himself.
67. Band of Susans
"Child of the Moon" 4:11
New York, NY
Travis's projects were deemed unimportant and not worthy of discussion. Jane's, on the other hand, was the #1 utmost important thing for the two of them to discuss (this bothered Travis). Jane would sew, make crafts, and create funny little animal shapes while listening to her music. Once she was finished, she would bring all of her creations into where Travis was seated, demand he stop what he was doing, and pay attention to her. She would show him everything she made, and ask his input regarding each of them. If he were honest, and claim he didn't like something, well, he obviously had no clue what he was talking about.
66. The Flaming Lips
"Chrome Plated Suicide" 5:46
Oklahoma City, OK
Jane decided when they went to bed, and this was something that had to be done together. They rented a series of DVD; she was ready for bed, but Travis wanted to stay up and watch the last one. Without discussion, Jane pressed stop on the DVD, turned the whole power off, thus putting an end to any hopes of that. This wasn't done in anger; the two laughed, and snuggled off to bed. If he ever did stay up, she would come out and fuss at him until he came to bed.
65. Янка Дягилева (Yana Dyagileva)
"Чужой дом" 4:20
Novosibirsk, Russia (1966-1991)
Travis knew way more about music than Jane, which came as a shock to her friends although she had no problem admitting this. They had a competition to see who could discover a song that the other would find appealing; Travis won this contest 4,819-2. Whenever he would discover a song that he knew Jane would like, he would carefully plan out when to play it for her and rehearse what to say about it. This could have been considered an event he would plan for her, perhaps his definition of romance.
The Living End
Jane had an annoying habit of making unusual requests at peculiar times. One time in particular, the two of them were really stoned, and Travis was content just sitting around listening to music, delving into thoughts that he found amusing. Travis had an uncanny knack to visualize the most unusual of circumstances while he was high (even more so than most). Jane decided this would be a good time for him to cut her hair… at 2:30 AM. If surveyed, 71% of the world would not allow Travis to cut their hair in the first place… stoned, the number rose to 99.9% with Jane being the only exception. She insisted, he finally gave in and messed it up royally. Jane got mad at him the next day and ordered him take her to a stylist...and pay for it.
63. Tragic Mulatto
"Mr. Cheese" 4:23
Hot Man Pussy
San Francisco, CA
She would always nag at him to give up all of his bad habits; that he needed to quit smoking, stop drinking soda, eat better, and cease looking at porn. The porn ordeal was a tussle with little resolve. He felt as if he were permitted at least some freedom over his own computer, she viewed it as he cheating on her. Unfortunately, the way she conducted herself during this argument was also amusing. Jane discovered he had been viewing “milf” porn, and proceeded to comment: "they all have saggy titties; they're fat, and gross." She went on and on for hours describing these women with the most ridiculous adjectives imaginable until Travis could no longer keep a straight face.
"Revulsion/We Reach" 6:17
Travis had an edge to him that she could never refine. In one part, it made him more attractive because he was not one to ever stand for injustice. If there was somebody being mistreated, he would be the first to step in and say something. On the contrary, however, he always seemed to be disturbed by something. Furthermore, he could never partake in overly cheerful events, or participate in groups that were supposed to function a certain way. At times, she would prefer him to be more positive and happy. He would have preferred to avoid certain circumstances that she seemed too willing to make him endure; she would have acted the same if the roles were reversed.
61. The 2 Live Crew
"Get the Fuck Out of My House" 4:37
As Nasty as They Wanna Be
Riverside, CA-Miami, FL
For amusement purposes only, the two would call each other awful things, and say just downright cruel things to one another. Travis was worse about this than Jane. Jane was simply ridiculous, one time calling Travis a stupid raccoon for him not allowing her to take his favorite CD's into her work. They would often refer to one another with racial slurs, gender slangs, and derogatory comments about homosexuals. However, both would never refer to another human being in this manner or to one another if they were sincerely angry. The use of the racial slurs became a way to know they were just kidding around. However, Travis's comments such as, "get dinner started bitch or I'm gonna slap you like your daddy used to" normally led to him getting socked and then having to pay for dinner or cook something extravagant for both of them...eggs.
"The Toxic Waltz" 4:52
San Francisco, CA
Jane attended a concert in which there was a mosh pit. During the show, she sent Travis a message that a pit erupted and she broke her leg. Travis attempted to contact her and there was no response. Worried, he sprinted as fast as could all the way to the venue where the show was taking place. When he arrived, she was outside with her friends, standing around. She was fine, and said that she was just kidding about breaking her leg.
59. Коррозия Металла
"Черный корабль" 4:46
They did endure some tough times together. In fact, several tough times that would never be forgotten. About once a week, they would find themselves in some sort of a bizarre predicament with no idea how the situation derived in the first place. One time, they attended a concert in a city in which they had to drive 2 hours. After the show, they forgot where they parked the car, and walked around this city until after 4:00 AM looking for the car. They finally found the son of a bitch and Travis had to drive all the way back home in the wee hours of the morning because the rental car was due back soon.
"30 Miles" 5:48
San Francisco, CA
Both had a multitude of qualities the other found endearing. Jane frequently made this peculiar face: curling her bottom lip across her bottom row of teeth making it look like she had massive buck teeth. She claimed she did this because she had a retainer on her bottom teeth and that the retainer was irritating her. Travis found her doing this constantly, to the extreme that he find himself doing the exact same thing when he was all alone thinking about her. She took pictures of him while he was sleeping, and would often mimic his mannerisms and steal his lines when entertaining others.
57. Kitchens of Distinction
"In a Cave" 4:35
Love is Hell
Eventually, Travis started losing contact with his friends. Most of his time was spent around Jane. He did have a longing to spend more time with his friends, but gave up all of that for Jane. Then, Jane's friends became his friends and they spent more time around them. But, it seemed as if everybody was disappearing, and life was dwindling down to just Travis and Jane, staying home together, coloring, listening to music, snuggling. For whatever reason, neither was willing to be totally content with this.
The Freed Man
Jane boasted to have this skill in which she could lip sync any song, even if she had never heard it before. This, too, could have been a televised event. It was a game that the two of them would play together… Travis would pick out a song, and Jane would have to lip sync it. Each song that she did this with, Travis remembered the performance vividly. She became his primary source of entertainment as he became hers.
55. Guided By Voices
"Navigating Flood Regions" 2:39
Self-Inflicted Aerial Nostalgia
Travis drove a piece of crap car that barely ran. The two went through a lot in that pile of junk, including breaking down at inopportune times. There was a gigantic hole in the floorboard, and whenever Travis drove through a puddle, water would creep up into the car. After a rainstorm, a massive puddle had flooded the street. Travis knew that water was going to creep into the floor, and he wanted to demonstrate this phenomenon to Jane. When he went through the flooded area, water did not creep, it sprayed the way it comes out of a fire hose, soaking the entire car, both of them totally, nearly drowning them, and however they avoided an accident was a miracle.
54. Close Lobsters
"Knee Trembler" 4:44
In that same car that needed to be sent to the junkyard, Jane needed a ride to take care of some issues on her phone, which she swore was on Patton Ave...they way she pronounced Patton Ave was funny too. Travis drove her up and down Patton Avenue, back and forth, several miles, for hours, often slowing down because she swore it was "right up here." The car kept breaking down, and nearly ran out of gas at one point. Come to find out later, the phone place wasn't even on Patton Ave, it was on another street entirely.
Brno, Czech Republic
Pet names can always be funny, and with these two it was no exception. They never stuck with one in particular, and it changed each time. It began when Jane referred to Travis as, "my little Huddle House ham and cheese omelet." Each night, they would laugh themselves to sleep saying good night to each other with irrelevant names... "good night my sweet little bottle of 10W40 motor oil." "Good night my dear box of Fruity Pebbles cereal."
It progressed into Jane saying things like: "I love you so much, I love you like I love the barber shop."
52. Bailter Space
"Zero Return" 5:26
Christchurch, New Zealand
There is one deep dark secret that is never allowed to be discussed, but they overcame that too. A situation came up that they had no clue how to deal with, the outcome could prove drastic to some. (((insert your deepest darkest secret here, the biggest problem you ever had to encounter, something that if revealed people might think differently of you))) It happened to Jane and Travis also, it is something they will never forget, and they went through it together. Yes, like you, they too have a dead person buried underneath the porch. File under: the names have been changed to protect the guilty.
51. A.C. Temple
Maybe a fresh start was all they really needed. Bizarre situations were becoming more frequent, Jane wanted to be closer to home, and Travis was losing contact with his peers and elected to join her. Many predicted the two would be getting married soon, and this was a giant leap forward for the both of them. The cutest couple in town embarked on an incredible journey, set forth to possibly be the cutest couple in a new town. Knowing them, that too would be an adventure.
Top Image by: Quillcards
Bottom Image by: Steve Shame's Photos