Part 1: Sunday Funday
Part 2: Secondary Aspects That Affect Compatibility Ratings
Part 3: Attempts to Extinguish the Flame
Part 4: A Change Is Gonna Do Me Some Good
Part 5: The Road Comes to an End
Part 6: Drastic Alteration in the Registry
Part I: Sunday Funday
Press play to listen to the songs.
150. Ozric Tentacles
"Dissolution (The Clouds Disperse)" 6:15
Sunday Funday. The day before Labor Day had even been given a cliché name, and cliché people come out to do cliché things; perhaps because Labor Day has no other use. People began planning their Sunday Funday throughout the day; some had been planning this for weeks, some since last Sunday Funday, and some, their whole life. Doors opened to the club, people gathered from all over town, got dressed, drove many miles, parked, and went inside. Within hours, the place was packed. Everybody wanted to be here; except for two.
"Soul Killer" 4:33
New York, NY
This was what the world had become: a penal colony, awaiting the 2nd and final death. For two patrons inside, it was torture. Perhaps this was a premonition of that awful fate that awaited at the end of the road; a destiny that may even define the end of all existence. There are those occurrences that kill the soul, even the body may still be walking and breathing. A situation of this magnitude takes time to unravel and has to begin somewhere. In order to fall from grace, however, one must first experience grace itself… then that plunge, especially when self-inflicted due to a multitude of secondary aspects, forever alters everything.
148. Wrathchild America
"Silent Darkness (Smothered Life)" 4:30
Climbin' the Walls
The place was a haven for those who uttered the phrase "Happy Sunday Funday" while holding up their drinks. Sunday Funday Specials: bad karaoke, even worse dance music, and white folks dancing the seemingly everlasting dance craze: "The White Guy." They dressed similar, looked similar, danced similar, and talked about similar topics, such as what was happening in the TV show Glee. Merely seeing these gruesome people made Travis sick to his stomach, for he was out celebrating a friend's birthday… this was her choice. He knew none of these people who came to this club on their own terms on a personal level, and generally tried to avoid these people. As he avoided all contact whatsoever with these people inside, he prayed time would pass quickly so that he would be free… he checked the time every 6 minutes.
147. Captain Sensible
"Smash It Up 9Pt. 4)" 3:25
Jane was with another group—a going away party for someone who was moving away soon. Like Travis, somebody else had selected this place as their favorite spot. It wasn't Jane's favorite spot at all. Furthermore, although she was close to her cousin, she hardly knew any of her friends. They were OK, just not the type of people Jane normally associated with; her friends do not celebrate Sunday Funday. But, Jane was going to attempt to enjoy herself regardless without complaining.
146. Morbid Angel
"Maze of Torment" 4:25
Altars of Madness
Travis wasn't going to complain either, but found himself getting annoyed having to walk through the crowd of people in order to get to the bar or to the bathroom, or somewhere away from these creatures. It's not that he didn't like crowds, the opposite exactly; he just didn't like these people. Walking through a group of guys who drenched themselves in cologne with their sandals, khaki shorts, and unfashionable polo shirts made his stomach cringe. This was the type of place where conventional American mainstream was in full effect.
"Slowly We Rot" 3:37
Slowly We Rot
The sound of bad karaoke can be the most unpleasant sound to some humans, comparable to the annoying shriek of a baby crying in a restaurant. Yet, some people actually dance to this… white people. It is even worse when people karaoke a song that was already bad, and someone figures out a way to make it even worse; and worst yet, they are attempting to sound brilliant and awe the crowd of white people. The selection of choices to karaoke was questionable, and Travis was not aware that anybody actually liked these songs. Upon seeing people dancing to it, enthusiastically, he realized the world would be coming to an end soon. Stereotypical white people are frightening and the primary cause of nightmares among children.
"Beneath the Wheel" 5:36
Houston, TX/San Francisco, CA
It’s difficult to fathom the types of people that the system worked out perfectly for—the people in which the world was specifically designed—or those who merely chose to conform to it and considered that transformation a token of success. Unfortunately, this is the majority, and a small portion of the minority finds this Sunday Funday lifestyle to be “wild and crazy.” The worst place in the world to dwell is in the minority that remains unimpressed with conventional standards… school sucked, work sucked, and so did hanging out with these imbeciles.
"The Clerical Conspiracy" 5:38
The places in which the extreme left minority can comfortably associate is limited. Being in these environments lead to disturbing outlooks; such as any of these people could date any of the others…what difference does it make? They are all the same. But, before too long, the drunken drama made its presence. One of the couples in the group got into their argument, terminating the relationship... again. It was that time of the month and this had been going on for four years. The constant bickering became a topic of frequent discussion and Travis wanted no part of it… he didn't care one bit and he had seen this exact same argument 43,000 times in the past. The couple eventually fulminated, right inside the club, during the bad singing.
"Dead Shall Rise" 3:06
Los Angeles, CA
More fighting ensued. The birthday girl became involved in an altercation with some random guy at the bar nothing that had any universal implications in The Grand Scheme of Things. The random guy was not even worth speaking to or even worth looking at… let alone receive this much dedication on Sunday Funday. She should have disencumbered loser #1,309 without hesitation, but, he was permitted to linger. And that, according to one eyewitness testimony, is when "serious shit started going down." People were crowding around, fuming, in each other's face, with the ultimate Sunday Funday death threat: "bring it on." None of them "brought it on," however, bouncers came, and they cleared.
141. Death Side
"Evil Dreaming" 3:03
That should have been that, but for whatever reason, both parties decided that was the most interesting calamity "EVER"! The world had witnessed a miracle, and it was talked about the whole night. Both insinuated they were going to find the other, but never did. So shut the fuck up already. As if that confrontation wasn't irritating enough, the fulminated couple was making threats to one another as well, "this time we are breaking up for good!" (Average time span meaning "for good": 4hrs 17mins). She hit him, stormed out, saying: "your shit's getting thrown out on the lawn!"
"Lost Anger" 1:48
Give Notice of Nightmare
Throughout their relationship, she had made this exact same "your shit's going out in the yard" threat 46 times. Of those, the closest she ever came to fulfilling this ambition was one time she tossed a pair of his sneakers out in the yard. He went delirious; this was the most dramatic spectacle possible. She claimed this as a personal victory, and related to her friends (as if they cared) that she "threw all of his shit in the yard," and how he "knows better than to mess with her." After she stormed out of the club, she returned in ten minutes...he stormed out about ten minutes after that...then returned. This was repeated for several hours.
139. The Blue Nile
"Headlights on the Parade" 6:17
The women in Jane's group wanted to dance and the guys they were interested in had nothing in common with the type of guys Jane liked. Jane did not like any person in particular, especially not here. Her friends went out on the dance floor and danced with some people to the bad karaoke songs. Jane laughed at them, but not to their faces, more or less chuckled quietly to herself. She wondered what they saw in these guys they were dancing with, or how anybody could dance to the shitty God awful music at the club. Watching these people dance with each other was as disturbing as it was amusing, and she merely drowned out the song that was playing. PAN THE DANCE FLOOR: Glimpses of white people dancing with the sad realization that we are living in a penal colony awaiting the 2nd and final death.
138. The Sneetches
"Unusual Sounds" 3:48
Sometimes That's All We Have
San Francisco, CA
Melinda flipped through the karaoke selection and went with yet another horrible selection—some overplayed meaningless classic that is impossible to love. However, this was the song that gave her the moment to shine. (MUTE karaoke; Sneetches Music Montage) Lindsey knew this song too- OMG!. She cheered loudly from the dance floor intense enthusiasm as Melinda sang it poorly… she waved her clutched hand in the air and started shaking it with passion, with fury, with the grace of dying kangaroo. She was impressed! So impressed, that she grinded her booty on the closest crotch she could find; Herman's, age 48...looks, on a scale of 1 to 10, average score, 0.
137. My Dad is Dead
"So Much to Lose" 5:34
The Taller You Are, The Shorter You Get
The Dance Floor Clearer is known for causing people to evacuate the premises immediately once he emerges on the dance floor and dances too closely to people. This person cannot dance, but dances with vigor, without any care as to how foolish he looks, and will aggressively attempt to dance with women who are way out of his league. Danielle gave a sympathy dance to The Dance Floor Clearer and was deliberately felt up in the process, thus looking equally foolish as he. Many assumed they were a couple; this was social suicide for Danielle. The aforementioned desperate Herman wouldn't even speak to her after that debacle.
136. Poster Children
"She Walks" 3:34
Girls dance with other girls and they think that it is sexy. Guys who only come out on Sunday Funday think it is sexy too. Bert found it so sexy that he decided he was going to get in on the action. Without asking, without hesitation, stood behind one of the girls, rubbing up against her, "dancing"... if that is what you choose to call it, for he had no moves whatsoever and was nowhere near in flow with the unison of the music. The girls cringed, looked confused, tried to avoid him, and finally, escaped. They left the dance floor talking to each other about how big of a loser this stupid idiot was; Bert bragged to his friends: "did you see that? I had both of them on me!"
135. Forced Entry
Mountlake Terrace, WA
Howard was even uglier than Herman, and he too was a Dance Floor Clearer. When Howard emerged onto the dance floor, with his typical dance routine that had nothing to do with the song's rhythm, women bailed, hastening to another part of the floor, with many of them rushing out the exit in a state of panic, trampling one another to avoid Howard's dancing. Tiffany did not see Howard coming, and Howard danced behind her, grabbed her, and twirled her around...she fled and left the whole country on Sunday Funday. But, Howard's wife witnessed this, and assumed Tiffany was putting the moves on her husband, as women always seem to do because Howard is so charming and handsome. Women love that gut!
"The Ride" 5:00
New York, NY
There was a disturbance in his molecular alignment, for he had now become out of tune with his surroundings. The cigarettes helped, but temporarily. He despised these people who surrounded him; Sunday Funday was more reminiscent to a village that had been devastated by tsunami. He could picture starving families crying, demoralized with the loss created by the disaster, while the news cameras panned around the dance floor...Howard dong "The White Guy"; the devastated mother screaming in agony. This talk, this arguing, he couldn't take it anymore. "How about a little ride?" Travis strayed from the group and simply walked around the club hoping to find something to maybe laugh about.
133. Laurie Anderson
"The Dream Before" 3:01
Glen Elyn, IL/East Hampton, NY
Jane did not wish to dance with any of these losers, and was growing tired of guys trying to pursue her. Her friends were all dancing with these people...good for them. But, it wasn't her scene. After having to reject too many people, and finding the guys repulsive who would attempt to court her, grab her, hold her hand, she finally left the dance floor. She stood by the dance floor, by herself, just watching her friends, with a smile, kindly rejecting any offers from guys who attempted to dance with her or speak to her.
132. Вежливый Отказ
Вежливый Отказ (Polite Refusal)
As Jane stood there watching her friends, she spotted Travis on the other side of the dance floor, standing across from her, all by himself. He didn't look like the rest of these people. With an entire world known as the dance floor in-between them, 20 feet maybe, Jane glanced one time, and then paid attention to her friends. Jane glanced again a bit later, he was still there. Gradually, Jane began to lose interest in her friends and all the rest of these schmucks. This place was getting old; except for maybe this person standing on the other side of the dance floor. The registry did signify that there was two people who did not want to be here.
"Agent Orange" 6:06
Travis was rating all the people on the dance floor in dollar figures, how much money it would take for him to go home with one of them. Howard had a whopping figure of 487 trillion dollars, but the highest was Alex at $697 trillion. On average, Alex would score about a 4 from the ladies if surveyed, but Travis simply hated people like this. The lowest was Jane, $1. It was a game at first, but these people were growing more annoying by the minute. He then started evaluating dancers by "weapons of choice" that he would like to assault them with, though he wasn't violent...Justin was a $36million dollars, and he laughed to himself picturing him being blasted with fiery napalm. This is when Jane became more interesting.
130. Bolt Thrower
"World Eater" 4:55
Realm of Chaos
The people in Travis's group fit in amply with this type of crowd. However, they were all angry about something, still going on about the altercation. Although nothing of any genuine significance came out of the ordeal, it became an issue. All the members of the group had to go outside, smoking cigarettes, elaborating on the conflict. Meanwhile, the other couple was entrenched in their own conflict, and that too became an issue. For, nobody could believe she left without saying goodbye, or when he left without saying goodbye, or when either had returned. Travis realized at this moment why he did not fit in, this is when serious clock watching began. Unfortunately, for the rest of them, this had become “so fucked up” because this always happens. It was absolutely dreadful and a sure sign that the black plague epidemic was making a comeback.
129. Nuclear Assault
"Mother's Day" 0:32
Handle With Care
New York, NY
Some random guy, a $344trillion chainsaw in the same category as Alex, approached Jane. Immediately, he was delegated from chainsaw to AK-47. Jane's status was up in the air depending on how she handled situation. Had she been playing the same game, this guy would be $986sextillion blowtorch. She refused, and was obviously getting irate with these imbeciles, and blatantly direct about it. At that moment, Jane's value went from $1 to free. She was the only one here who would not be charged and not be assaulted.
128. Tim Berne
"Hong Kong Sad Song" 11:41
Fractured Fairy Tales
Syracuse, NY/New York, NY
In order to escape this loser, Jane went over and stood by Travis; it was at that moment when he vowed that Jane would never suffer anything so long as he was present. That was the moment she won him over. Jane wondered what the hell Travis was even doing here. He looked more like her type, but why on Earth would he be here? Then again, why on Earth was she here? His friends found him, talked about some matters, but she could not hear what. He wasn't alone, obviously. She had seen this girl before, at the bar, getting into an argument with some random guy. This wasn't his girlfriend. She watched the entire encounter with more articulation than she was even devoting to her friends. Unexpectedly, her friends were now approaching, introducing her to the guys they met on the dance floor.
127. Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan
"Allah, Mohammed, Char, Yaar" 11:26
Faisalabad, Pakistan (1948)-London, England (1997)
Travis told his party, with a smile, that he was just hanging out and people watching, waiting for the drama to subside. Perhaps it had, they claimed it did, but he did not believe them. They were talking about what they wanted to do next, go have a shot, go dance, do this, whatever. Travis lost interest in them, none of that sounded appealing. Out the corner of his eye, he glanced over at Jane who was being introduced to guys she had no business being with. Travis's people went to the bar; Jane's people went to go take a shit. You ever been to a bar and saw the toilet stopped up and wondered who the hell did that here at this hour? It was the guy Jane's cousin was trying to hook her up with.
126. Thinking Plague
In This Life
They were all alone again, on opposite sides of the dance floor, not participating in the karaoke, not participating in the white people dance routines, not participating in the Sunday Funday cliché fest. The two of them made eye contact several times, but given the circumstances...according to Travis: "douches approach" ...According to Jane: "hoes come on too hard." What happens in the middle? Jane walked over to the other side of the dance floor and simply stood beside Travis. And, they stood beside each other for several long minutes without saying a word to each other. But, the disturbance in molecules were getting frantic for a different reason.
Top Image by: Joe Elario Photography
Bottom Image by: Sina English