The Top 75 Songs of 1993

The Best of 1993 + Perfect Attendance at the High School Reunion

Chapter 1: The Invitation; BBW Lust; 4284 Milaine Drive
Chapter 2: Rock Bottom; BBW Lust 2; The Escape from 4284 Milaine Drive
Chapter 3: Ladies and Gentlemen... Mrs. Connie Hatcher
Chapter 4: The Reunion

Chapter II: Rock Bottom; BBW Lust 2; The Escape from 4284 Milaine Drive

Press play on the image below to hear this selection of songs in this exact order.

75. The Reverend Horton Heat
"Wiggle Stick"  3:01
The Full Custom Gospel Sounds Of
Dallas, TX

Helton was on the run. He had just been raped by three of the most grotesque women in the world (the registry had them ranked #12, 29, and 468 worldwide) yet the most important thing on his mind was getting to the reunion. Unfortunately, he had no clue where he was, how to get to the strange location of the reunion, and was in hot pursuit by some deranged family on tractors with rifles. Throughout the whole night, he ran through the wilderness, being chased by tractors, and Harold shooting at him from his tractor. The bullets always seemed to miss, even when the shots should have been obvious. Perhaps he was being protected; punished at the same time. Harold's tractor blew a tire in the pursuit, and unfortunately, this could not be repaired with the tool either. Helton eventually made it to town.

74. Silkworm
"Garden City Blues"  4:13
In the West
Missoula, MT

Taylor was considered the smartest student in the class. He was smart in a technical manner, and was voted most likely to succeed. Even in high school, Taylor already had a good head on his shoulders, and rarely participated in the illegal activities the rest of the class embellished in post-curricular. The bad students often declared it would be cool to get Taylor stoned, or drunk, or out being wild and crazy. They all did like his personality. Later in life, once people outgrew their high school tendencies, they wished that rather than attempt to get Taylor to participate in their mischief, they wished they had been more involved with the things Taylor found important. He was successful now, far more successful than they ever were.

73. PJ Harvey
"Hook"  3:57
Rid of Me
Yeovil, England

The rumors about Haggerty were true. He did in fact, sadly, pass away. However, he did still receive the invite, and is planning to attend. After pounding on the casket for several minutes, a mole came down wearing a miner's hat with a light fixed on it and a set of tools. With careful precision, the mole, Larry, was able to open the casket, assist Haggerty out of it, and dig a tunnel to the top in which Haggerty could climb out. Once at the top, Larry the mole lit a cigarette, claimed his job made him immune to the dangers of smoking. As he puffed his cigarette, he glanced down at some papers he had on a clipboard. Larry gave Haggerty a set of instructions, a pamphlet with some other information, spoke: "And Haggerty, for Christ's sakes, good luck to you. Remember who you once were, and that will guide you."

72. U2
"Numb"  4:20
Dublin, Ireland

At Warehouse, there was a lusted over boy and a lusted over woman. The woman lusting over the boy was attempting to go in for the kill. She fell under the category of BBW, which meant, some guys really dig her, some don't. The guy at the club was one of those rare cases that fell somewhere in the middle. This woman would openly stare at this guy, eyes gleaming...she approached, periodically made sexual comments, and was starting to lightly fondle him; which proceeded to become a flagrant grope, to excessive prolonged feels and rubs often. This woman being lusted, her guy kept buying her drinks- this person felt as if she were significantly more intelligent than he and needed her inebriated in order for her to come down to his level- a ploy used by many men. Once she began feeling intoxicated, she seemed more permissive to accept his constant sexual advances. She was that woman who fell somewhere in the middle...she liked the attention, but did not want to delve too far, and this guy was hardly her dream lover.

71. Polvo
"Thermal Treasure"  4:32
Today's Active Lifestyles
Chapel Hill, NC

Finally, the bigger woman engulfed the skinny boy. She did not encourage him to drink more; he became inebriated on his own terms. Simply put, he knew she was not going to leave him alone anytime soon; he did not wish to reject her and risk hurting her feelings, and drank excessive amounts of alcohol so he could have an excuse should anybody find out about it. He had to put forth no effort whatsoever; she approached him from behind, put her arms around him, and went into areas more unsuitable for public viewing. She put her hand up his shirt, caressed his nipples, then spun him around, pinned him against the wall, pulled up his shirt, and licked his nipples lavishly. He accepted this as defeat, and suggested they should leave now. The BBW kindly led him to her car, insisted he was unable to drive. With a warm smile, and friendly pats on the leg, she drove him to her home. She remained pleasant, kind, and gentle as she held his hand and escorted him into her bedroom. Once in, he was pushed down on the bed, ravaged, and within just a few moments, he was completely exposed and she was having her way with him.

70. O.L.D.
"Freak Now"  5:27
The Musical Dimensions Of Sleastak
Bergenfield, NJ

On a scale of 1 to 10, she rated the sex as a 10, he an 8.5. The next morning, she remained pleasant, hospitable, and even offered to cook breakfast- she was a BBW which meant it was going to be a big breakfast and the food was going to taste wonderful. For the two of them, she prepared a whole dozen eggs, a slab of bacon, 6 pounds of hash browns, a loaf of bread for toast, and a tall stack of buttermilk pancakes. Over breakfast, in which little skinny boy actually ate more than the BBW (the little fucker must've been starved, she thought) they conversed about each other. In the perception of some, the skinny boy has this bad boy appeal, like some sort of rebel image. The BBW, on the other hand, was commonly perceived as "nice." But, in the grand scheme of things, skinny boy never lured women into his home or become the sexual prowess the BBW became. Furthermore, she was open in her experience and shared the details with others- proud of what she had accomplished, uncaring what others thought. He on the other hand, tried to keep it a secret.

69. Spoonfed Hybrid
"Boys in Zinc"  4:03

Before departing, and after breakfast, the BBW wrestled her way on top of the skinny boy again and pinned him his wrists down on the floor. He offered little resistance and eventually succumbed to her lustful desires. Although he may tell others differently, once he was down, he even assisted her with removing his clothes and permitted the BBW to do whatever she pleased. She took full advantage of the situation, and did the things she always wanted; fulfilling many of her sexual yearns. When she was finally finished, she was fully satisfied.

68. Red House Painters
"Funhouse"  9:19
S/T I (Rollercoaster)
San Francisco, CA

Ten years + one day ago, a group of women had tickets to see a concert. One of the girls invited a co-worker to join them, a guy. Meta was not pleased that a guy was coming along—in general she did not like men, and found their company domineering and despised the way men attempted to dictate everything. But, once she saw this boy, that perception changed almost as drastically as her behavior.

"I was the aggressive one in this pursuit," she later told reporters. "There was just something about this little shithead. We were walking to go have a drink before the show, and he was lagging behind. Generally, I wouldn't give a fuck about some dude accompanying us, but for whatever reason, I stopped and waited for him; and I scolded him and ordered him to keep up with the group.

He was a little smart aleck, and tried to act like he was allowed any freedoms whatsoever. Soon, he was walking behind the group again, and I got so mad, I jerked him by collar, and demanded that he walk alongside me for the duration of the trip. And I told him that he was not permitted to leave my sight, and that he had to stay where I could see him. I gave him a slight* hit on the arm jerked him around so that he would not stray from the group.

Soon, he wasn't allowed out of my reach. I set strict boundaries as to where he was permitted to wander, and the little shithead constantly felt as if he had to cross the line. By the end of the evening, he wasn't even allowed to go to the restroom by himself, and I had to make certain that at least part of him was touching me; while occasionally pulling him in close to me and securing him soundly. Then, I told him that I was allowed to touch him wherever I wanted, and if he did not cooperate that I was going to beat the shit out him.

He did not learn very well either- the little fuckhead. Even after I took him to my house that night, which it should have been obvious being as I told him he was not allowed to even go order a drink without me next to him, he still tried to say that he had to go home, like he had something to do. His insubordinate behavior was infuriating, and I ended having to drag him up to my apartment, firmly clinching his collar, and making sure he stayed in my grasp.

Once I finally had him locked in my bedroom, I shoved him down on my bed, and climbed on top of him. I made a new set of rules, claiming that he was now in my custody, and I was permitted access to any portion of him that I desired. That was 10 years and one day ago.

Today, we are celebrating our 10 year wedding anniversary. The same conditions still apply. He's mine, and I keep him on a tight leash. Some may question some of the tactics I employed, but at least I have dream boy. I am sexually satisfied 7-10 times a day, I have a great job, a powerful position, while my husband stays at home and looks pretty for when I get off work."

* slight by her definition differs significantly than the rest of the group. The boy who was struck claimed to have been seriously injured, although some question that he is simply a pussy. The other girls in the group were stunned by the strike, deeming this as the first sign of abuse.

67. Swervedriver
"Last Train to Satansville"  6:45
Mezcal Head
London, England

Foxworth was informed that he needed to take a train to this remote location, in which he had never heard of in his entire life. He stood by the railroad tracks, and waved for the passing train to stop- unscheduled. The train had already slowed down, as if they were expecting him. The conductor greeted Foxworth with a smile, and welcomed him on board, where he was the only passenger. Seated in a cargo train, not in a comfortable seat or passenger train, he observed the country side reminiscing on past memories with his old friends from lab class. Off in the distance, he heard gunshots, and saw a tractor driving recklessly. It made him smile and think to himself, "Helton, that schmuck is always getting into trouble." Foxworth jumped off the train, and with a pleasant smile on his face, headed in the direction of the gunshots.

66. Saint Etienne
"Hobart Paving"  4:57
So Tough
London, England

Perkins had been on the verge of committing suicide for the past several years. He was the least liked person in lab class, and his life post-graduation never improved either. He was considered somewhat of a dork in high school, based almost entirely on his looks. Because he looked like such an extreme dork, he was never able to redeem his true personality, which if anybody ever bothered to notice, he was not too far removed from the bad boys of the class- his image indicated the exact opposite. He got into a fight with Chimbelli in high school, and actually won- he was on top of Chimbelli when it was finally broken up. But, he was so despised because of his dorky appearance; it was declared that Chimbelli kicked his ass. This angered Perkins, and he wondered what he had to do to win anybody's approval. With a gun in his mouth, something in his head told him to check his e-mail before pulling the trigger. He put the gun in the drawer, and made plans to attend the reunion.

65. Urge Overkill
"Dropout"  4:55
Chicago, IL

Jimmy Crist lasted but 4 months in lab class. Even during those four months, he rarely attended class. Although he was liked, people in class hardly knew him, and many did not even count him as part of the class. After disappearing for over two weeks, Crist was expelled from school and no longer attended lab class. He was spotted periodically by the other students, who all asked about what had happened. Even though most never knew him, he did become a topic of frequent conversation; and people would ask: what the hell happened to him. Soon, they will know, for he did receive the invite, and is planning to attend. Several years ago he had disappeared, deemed missing possibly dead.

64. Black 47
"Sleep Tight in New York City"  7:32
Fire of Freedom
New York, NY

Crist did it all for a girl. At an early age, he had assumed he already found his soul mate. The problem is, this was a troubled young lady, who was not dealt a fair chance to succeed in life. She was born and raised on "Rock Bottom", and Crist left his happy life to descend to Rock Bottom to be with a girl. Crist was never intended to live on Rock Bottom, but because of her, because he left school, it ended being his place of permanent residence for his one and only life. His relationship with the Rock Bottom girl ended miserably, as all relationships end here. After a series of wild adventures, criminal activities, and righteous rebellion, Rock Bottom girl declared she had had enough of Crist, and was off to explore other options. She walked away, and Crist never saw her again- although he searched for her constantly. His next girlfriend was not as good as her, he longed for her, but eventually gave up searching for her.

63. Boredoms
"Jet Net"  4:21
Osaka, Japan

Clements insisted that Vastine need to drive through this tunnel that was not on the map. Ever since reuniting after the flat tire, Clements heard stories about this lab class and wished that he gone to school here- life would be different. Entering the tunnel, Clements and Vastine were totally straight faced and quiet. Exiting the tunnel, they were smiling cheerfully and laughing with one another- now best friends. The tunnel took them through time, once back in time, Clements attended school at lab class, and he too was now invited to the reunion. Vastine now knew Clements, they went to school together. However, Vastine was now slated to serve a 276 year consecutive sentence at state...Clements was a free man.

62. Eric's Trip
"Stove"  2:54
Love Tara
Moncton, NB  Canada

"Where the fuck have you been?"

"I heard you died?"

In a section of the world not located on any map, Haggerty happened to bump into Crist. The dead and the disappeared conversed about life on Babylon. Both knew where they were going. It was good to see each other again. Somebody finally knew Crist/somebody could vouch that Haggerty was in fact deceased, and knew all of the honest aspects behind the tragedy—not just hearsay and expanded rumors.

61. Sebadoh
"Bouquet For a Siren"  2:56
Bubble & Scrape
Amherst, MA

Helton was holed up in the town's market- the walls of this store were covered with posters promoting rock and roll- Fight, and even had an entire Fight section next to the candy bars. The owner of the store was some bald headed older guy with a mustache, the most educated man in town (9th grade). The tractors rambled through town and conducted a drive-by shooting on the store in which Helton was seeking shelter—again, all of the bullets missing him. Finally, the entire town had the place surrounded and was demanding that Helton come out and settle this once and for all. But, the store had a gun also. Harold poked his head in the window; Helton cocked the rifle and shot Harold in the face—blowing his hair back, and turning his face charcoal black. "God damn it!" he yelled out after getting shot in the face, "The mother fucker's got another gun now too."

60. Guided By Voices
"Sot"  2:36
Vampire on Titus
Dayton, OH

Harold had the worst body odor imaginable. He stunk so bad, that even the people in this community found him wretched. Furthermore, he had an obscene voice, and was prone to make extremely stupid comments. The people in this community often ridiculed Harold, yet he was a part of them anyway. Finally, with his face blackened and an enormous hole in the center of his forehead, Harold approached Grandpa with some plans about how they could get inside the building from behind. At this point, the rest of the town had gathered as well. Grandpa simply responded: "get the fuck away from me Harold, you smell like shit." Every single person in town laughed loudly at this comment, while Harold stood there with his hands on his hips.

59. Fugazi
"Smallpox Champion"  4:01
In On the Kill Taker
Washington, D.C.

"What the fuck's going on here?" The store owner finally showed up.
"We got some fucking city boy in there, he causing all kinds of shit."
"What kind of shit?," the store owner was curious.
"He shot grandma in the pussy."
"He shot grandma in the pussy?"
"Yea, he shot grandma in the pussy, just stuck the barrell up there, pulled the trigger, and her whole fucking head spun around like a top and smoke started coming out of her ears."
"He shot the grandma in the pussy?"
"Yes, shot her right in the pussy."
"Why in the hell did he shoot grandma in the pussy?"
Harold intervened, "cuz he's a fucking faggot, that's why. He don't know good pussy even when its right in front of his face."
"These people have problems."
"I'll say, if he shot grandma in the pussy."

58. Suede
"Sleeping Pills"  3:51
London, England

In order to get to the reunion, Perkins had to travel through Rock Bottom. It wasn't long ago, he was contemplating suicide himself. While passing through Rock Bottom, he met the acquaintance of Rock Bottom girl, Crist's old girlfriend. She, too, was suffering from severe depression. The world known as Rock Bottom causes misery and she had seen enough of it- unfortunately, there was no other way out. Prior to her commitment to the overdose, she was discovered by Perkins. Her loathsome state was disturbing, perhaps because it reminded him of his own self. He had no clue how he even encountered her in the first place, but decided he should reach out to her. It seemed as if his mind were being programmed to say specific things. The reunion was invite only, but somehow inviting this poor young lady from Rock Bottom seemed appropriate—as if life or death. Perkins now had a companion, though there was no physical attraction between them.

57. Björk
"One Day"  5:15
Reykjavik, Iceland

Mrs. Hatcher was one of the 13 people in the community who had, sadly, passed away by means of getting eaten by an alligator in the past year. She was once a teacher at the high school, and was not very well liked either. During the year the students en route to the reunion had her for English, she had to take a leave of absence because she slipped on the ice. Mrs. Hatcher was, to put it nicely, obese; or, as others like say, fat as fuck. The thought of her falling amused students, even when she showed up in a wheelchair, it was still funny. She did have the ability to walk again, although she was never swift. Her attempts to run from the alligator were short lasted, and she was so big, the alligator referred to her as one of the best meals he ever ate. The alligator spent the whole rest of the day lying around on the beach, with an enormous stuffed belly. Where is this alligator now? Walking down the highway, headed to a reunion, the huge alligator is not even a distraction to motorists.

56. Swirlies
"Bell"  4:30
Blonder Tongue Audio Baton
Boston, MA

Foster was frequently lusted over, but he did not how to handle it. Many think it is his personality that made him so adorable; his personality was cute because he had deep seeded psychological problems that made him obviously abnormal. Appearance wise, he was cute, in his own way, and did not look like a psychopath. He was just a skinny boy who was frequently the subject of BBW sexual abuse. Foster rejected adoration, and sought to be a degenerate. As part of his mental issues, he would often make up false pretenses encouraging those around him that he was indeed a huge loser- perhaps the biggest loser in history. Nobody ever bought into this however. Furthermore, he never embraced failure either, though he tried to plummet himself to Rock Bottom where he could be forgotten about. That is, until the night he attended a concert and met the acquaintance of a TAF (Tall Athletic Female, though rarely mentioned as a descriptor) who secured him from ever being permitted to fail completely, and the two were married the day after the concert. He was not permitted to ever be outside of the house without his wife's supervision, but for reasons unknown, he was permitted to walk to his class reunion.

55. Pram
"Radio Freak in a Storm"  3:49
The Stars are So Big The Earth is So Small
Birmingham, England

It was going to be long walk, a journey that would take weeks. Most people would have flown to this destination, but, there seemed to be orders that Foster had to walk it- alone, but he was supposed to accept rides from any stranger who offered. His wife delightfully obliged. It had been a decade since he was outside of his house without Meta, but, this finally gave him time to think and reconsider things. He had spent his entire life trying to be a failure, and now was so far removed from anything ordinary, that he could no longer function in regular conversation. Fortunately/Unfortunately this made him cute, brilliant, and unique. Maybe he just wanted to be like everybody else; all those trying to be different. Hmmm, he thought, maybe I should have tried to be successful; maybe people actually like me for who I am; is this what I should have embraced all along?

54. NoMeansNo
"Cats, Sex, and Nazis"  7:51
Why Do They Call Me Mr. Happy?
Victoria, BC  Canada

A car pulled over and offered Foster a ride. This guy was weirdo, had NoMeansNo blasted on his stereo, which made him at least tolerable. As this person, in unison with the music, it dawned on Foster that this person was more bizarre than even he was. The difference, this person did not care. After a few minutes, Foster thought to himself that this was the coolest person he had ever met. He was talking about things that he hates, absolutely ridiculous things, and acted as if it were common knowledge. Eventually, Foster got the joke because he jokes like this too. They had a fun time taking turns sharing stories about things to hate.

"Don't you fucking hate it when you have exactly one quarter ounce of weed left to sell, and somebody you owe a favor to comes over just wanting to buy an 8th? Like, what the fuck? I don't even want to break up this last quarter, but Holmes is like, come on dude, you owe me."

"The worst is when you're participating in a riot, and go to loot a store, and all that's left is the crappy brands. Like, everybody busted out the windows of the appliance store, and all fucking took off immediately to the Sony's. My ass got stuck with some piece of shit generic brand from the store. That's always the last shit left- right?"

"Don't you hate when you just get done chopping somebody up with an axe, and then Aunt Mable shows up? She's always like wanting to help clean, getting in the way, trying to tell me what to do and shit. Always talking about the way she cleaned up axe murders back when she was younger- 50,000 fucking years ago. I'm like, Aunt Mable, I'm 25 years old now, I'm not a kid anymore...I know how to dispose of a dead body. I mean, shit, I'm the one who chopped this mother fucker up, I'm the one who should be saying where we bury his monkey ass. You don't see me going over to Aunt Mable's every time she chops some mother fucker up with an axe trying to tell her how to clean shit up?"

This went on for hours. The two will remain friends for life.

53. Acetone
"Endless Summer"  6:25
Valencia, CA

Burton slept in class non-stop. It was rare to ever see Burton awake during class. Smithers, on the other hand, rarely slept. However, Smithers was disliked because he had poor personal hygiene, and all he ever wore for two years straight was either this Iron Maiden t-shirt or a Kill 'em All, Let God Sort 'em Out t-shirt. One day, there happened to be a slight altercation between Smithers and a few other students. Smithers was being interrogated about the cleanliness of his shirt, and that his hair was greasy. This particular morning, Smithers decided to argue back and say some harmful things in retaliation. The argument eventually woke Burton up, who, for all intents and purposes should have been awake anyway. Burton approached the confrontation, said a few comments, Smithers said something back, and Burton drilled the unsuspecting Smithers right in the face- knocking his glasses off. Burton was suspended, Smithers was not. At the time, Burton was perceived as a badass- Smithers the subject of ridicule.

52. Nirvana
"Rape Me"  2:52
In Utero
Seattle, WA

Smithers was not born on his own terms, nor was he permitted to select any options when choosing his parents. It just so happened, Smithers family was poor, and was not able to take care of him properly. He had pale colorless skin because he never left the house- he never left the house because nobody ever invited him anywhere. Simply put, Smithers was hated solely for the fact that his parents were poor. Due to the fact that his family earned little income, Smithers was never able to develop his natural persona. Eventually, he lacked social skills because he rarely associated with friends, and this was strictly because of his poor personal appearance. The end result, the world will never know what could have become of Smithers. Due to economic constraints that some families have to endure, Smithers was a social casualty whose youth was basically wasted. He did not deserve to be punched that morning.

51. For Love Not Lisa
"Merge"  13:20
Oklahoma City, OK

In a strange turn of events, Smithers was the first in the class to be married, in the top couple to have children. As expected, his wife was relatively ugly as commonly defined, but he loved her. The kids came… boom boom boom- Luther lacked the sexual skills to ever pull out in time- and sex to him was a surprise. One day it occurred to him that he had children. It also probably occurred to him that his appearance is deemed as undesirable by most of the population. There was always that grudge from being assaulted in class; coupled with a transfixing anger of unreasonable expectations to raise children in this society, and he was not ever going to draw any interest whatsoever from any sort of meaningful corporation- not enough to pay for his children's needs. In other words, his children were doomed to be exactly like him.

Feeling he had no other choice, Smithers joined the military. It was here that he was at least given somewhat of an opportunity to succeed. They buzzed off all that greasy hair of his, put him through basic training, and before too long, Smithers was reformed. He remained in the military, and still held the grudge against the society he was fighting to preserve.

Maybe because most of his existence had been deemed as useless, Smithers was sent to Iraq to fight in a war, even though he was older than the rest of the platoon. There was something about being ridiculed as a youth that fueled some sort of wrath; there was something about a need for currency to ensure that children are able to properly develop- which he had been deprived.

Smithers had been asked to kill. These people he had been asked to murder had never done him any harm whatsoever; in fact, the nation on a whole was innocent of the crimes in which the American president was accusing. It could have started with that one punch, but Smithers gladly accepted his orders to kill, and kill frequently. In fact, to keep his children out of poverty, partially for revenge on all the anguish he endured as a youth, Smithers will gladly kill anybody in this war. Part of him wishes the president would declare war on his own youth, in his own country, back in time.

But, one day he stopped killing. He received an invitation, and was flown back to America to attend a reunion in a location he could not locate on the map. This did not matter to him, because he was not able to locate Iraq on a map...and that worked out well.

NC-17 SOUNDTRAXXX SONGS of 1993:  100-76  75-51  50-26  25-#1

Top Image by: OopsMovs
Bottom Image by: Village of North Palm Beach

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