The Top 75 Songs of 1992

The Best of 1992 + McQuestion Marks???

Chapter 1: The Most Famous Restaurant in the Galaxy
Chapter 2: Worst Case Scenario; A Party Gone Awry
Chapter 3: Merle's First Day on the Job
Chapter 4: Vultures and Empty Saviours

Chapter II: Worst Case Scenario; A Party Gone Awry

Press play on the image below to hear this selection of songs in this exact order.

75. Kitchens of Distinction
"What Happens Now"  4:34
The Death of Cool
London, England

My friend, my only friend, invited me to go to a party with him. It was a proud moment for me, I was just happy to finally have a friend. It's not as if I am a complete loser. You see, I had just moved to this city and had not met anybody yet. This was a person I knew from way back in the day, he was the one who talked me into moving here. Naturally, I agreed. Not only was it going to be a fun night, it was also an opportunity to meet people, and make some more new friends in the city I now call home.

74. The Telescopes
"High On Fire"  2:55
Burton Upon Trent, England

It was unseasonably warm, although the forecast had predicted an extreme drop in temperature, a snow storm, and sub-zero wind chills. This did not even seem fathomable at this hour. But, there were rumors that this place was significantly colder than where I had moved from, and apparently this sort of weather patterns is relatively common. I came prepared, brought a coat, but hoped for the best. Most people here consider me a pussy in the cold- I do not like cold weather and winter is my least favorite time of year. I am prone to get exceptionally cold if the temperature drops below 40- anything under 20 is unreasonable and I will not even leave the house.

73. Gorky's Zygotic Mynci
"Dafad Yn Siarad"  3:45
Carmarthen, Wales

I waited outside for him to pick me up. He was driving because I had no clue where the fuck I was going at this point. I had only been living here for about a month and did not know my way around yet. All I knew was how to get to work and back, and a few select stops in my own neighborhood. It was a big city though, I mean, they had professional sports teams. Julio finally arrived, I jumped into his car, and off we went to my very first night out in this new city.

72. Ecstasy of St. Theresa
"Absinth"  6:15
Praha, Czech Republic

The party wasn't scheduled to start until later, so we decided to stop at a few places and have a couple drinks before arriving. We went out of our way because Julio wanted to show some of the better establishments in the area- places I would like. There is a good feeling going into places for the very first time, being new in town, seeing different people for the first time ever. It turns out, Julio is fairly popular...everywhere we went, he knew somebody. He introduced me to a lot of people, no way I'll remember all their names, but they all seemed cool to me.

71. Faith No More
"Jizzlobber"  6:39
Angel Dust
San Francisco, CA

Unfortunately, not every single person I met on my first night out was totally cool. There were a few assholes here and there. That is the other thing when you go out in a new place for the first time- there is a bit of an intimidation factor. It is difficult sometimes to differentiate who is friendly, who is kidding, who is plotting something suspicious, and who is a genuine prick. Some random guy just comes up and starts talking to me how he just did 5 years hard-time in the joint for aggravated assault and ended up having to kill somebody in prison. He spoke calmly, and I did not know how to react. Perhaps he just needed to confess to somebody, and me being new, happened to be the one. I just let him talk, without passing any judgment, but I was glad to get the fuck out of there.

70. Spectrum
"How You Satisfy Me"  4:12
Soul Kiss (Glide Divine)
Rugby, England

The party was indeed a wild one, it certainly lived up to its billing. I walked in, with Julio, there's like 50 people here- and I did not know a single one of them. Julio did not know all of them either, he knew about 10 people here, and the owner of the home was but an acquaintance. The music was loud, the beer was free, there was pot, all sorts of other drugs, and a few decent looking women. Everybody appeared to enjoying themselves...I sort of stood back at first trying to get a feel for the place.

69. Moonshake
"Tar Baby"  3:24
Eva Luna
London, England

There were two girls in the kitchen, Julio knew them. They were the primary reason he wanted to attend this party. He introduced me to them, Jessica and Courtney, they were cool, and smoking hot. Julio had a thing for Jessica for a long time, they knew each other from around the way. I had a thing for Courtney, I had known her for 10 minutes, immediately I was happy to be here. We all wandered outside, had a cigarette, took some of the freebies, and talked and talked about shit we claimed was important at the time. People advise others not to immediately adhere to the first person you meet, but Courtney would have had the most appeal to me anyway. She had many of the qualities that I liked in a woman- intelligence, independence, she was a badass. I could definitely see being together with Courtney. Now, I'm focusing on not doing anything stupid, trying my best to impress- though she is the type who is not easily impressed.

68. CMX
"Todellisuuksien Yleiset Luokat"  3:19
Helsinki, Finland

The music was loud, and people were getting crazy. All around us, people were laughing, yelling, doing typical party shit like snorting lines of cocaine of some guy's hairy ass. I saw pretty much everybody at the party, coupled with a few greetings in passing, party talk so to say. However, I did not know any of them, and did not introduce myself to everyone at the party. Our time was spent mainly in the kitchen- me & Courtney, Julio & Jessica. Gradually, the ingested products began to take effect, I was at ease with myself, loosened up, the nervousness had subsided. Even better, I was able to say some funny things the group found amusing, Courtney laughed. I was feeling good. Not good enough to snort lines off some mother fucker's ass though, but good enough.

67. Whipping Boy
"Buffalo"  4:50
Edenderry, Ireland

Perhaps because I was new, I was the subject of our discussion. They asked where I was from, what I was doing here, how I liked it...blah blah blah. Courtney asked if I had a girlfriend, I took that as a positive sign, although I did not inquire the same question in return. But, she did state she knew of places she liked to go in town, and insisted that she was going to take me to these places. Things were looking prosperous already. I wandered why the heck I hadn't moved here a long time ago. This was going to be the best night of my life.

66. Dadamah
"Papa Doc"  3:32
This is Not a Dream
Christchurch, New Zealand

My sharp sense of humor had always been a strong point, and I figured I could wow them with my cleverness. I told the group the story about how my Uncle Hubert got really drunk at a baseball game, and while he was walking up the steps to our nosebleed seats, he stumbled, fell backwards, cracking his skull on the concrete steps, splattering blood all over some little kid's peanuts. Uncle Hubert proceeded to tumble all the way down the steps, flipping up into the air, and descending over the ledge- taking a section of the front row with him. We looked down, and 19 people were lying down there dead. We laughed about that for several minutes. Courtney's eyes gleamed, she touched my hand.

65. Teenage Filmstars
"Apple"  4:36
London, England

Enter Sara, Julio's ex-girlfriend. She came in and immediately caused a scene. At first, she was belligerent with Jessica and Courtney because it appeared Julio and Jessica were standing too close to one another. Sara had some other lady with her too, and she assisted with the arguing. I did not know either of these two women, nor do I care too. However, the two of them started making threats to Jessica and Courtney, demanding answers as to what the hell was going on; unfortunately, after the tussle, Jessica and Courtney left- without even saying goodbye. I hoped I would see her again, and thought about following them out, but was unsure what to do. Plus, I was trapped in a corner by Sara & this other person.

64. The Magnetic Fields
"Jeremy"  3:02
The Wayward Bus
Boston, MA

After Courtney & Jessica left, Julio and Sara continued arguing in the kitchen, I was simply being ignored in the background at this point. Sara was raging on and on about some bullshit that Julio still owed her $18 over a past electric bill. They had been broken-up for a couple months, but were together close to a year. Sara utilized this $18 debt as an opportunity to take personal shots at Julio, calling him a loser, a prick, a bastard, a stupid mother fucker, a dumb faggot, a sorry ass nigger, a greedy Jewish kike, a typical cracker, a greasy spic, a Nazi supporting tyrant, a womanizer, that he smelled like shit, had a small penis, bad breath, and he did not take very good care of his appliances. I have never seen his penis, his appliances seemed working fine, and he is Vietnamese.

63. The Jesus Lizard
"Rope"  2:19
Chicago, IL

Finally, Julio demanded that they not argue here..."not here." Julio and Sara left, and I have no clue where the fuck they went. Now, I am all alone, in a place I have never been, around a bunch of people I do not know, cornered in the kitchen with some woman who came with Sara and had threatened to beat the shit out of Courtney for reasons unknown. I had no clue what to even say to her. Yet, she continued to stare at me, as if I were supposed to say something to her. I didn't know if she was going to try to start a fight with me or if she wanted me to... it was awkward as fuck. Finally, she just asked: "who the fuck are you, anyway?"

62. Pain Teens
"Indiscrete Jewels"  3:51
Stimulation Festival
Houston, TX

I did respond, but I am not sure exactly what I said. I was taken aback by the question, and wasn't sure what to say, so I mumbled a few words that got disjointed, the other girl didn't understand me either. {We temporarily turn things over to the ominous narrator, who knows every single thing in existence.}  After the question, he was uncertain how to respond, he mumbled a few inaudible ambivalent sequences of syllables. In our ledger that writes the biographies of all living things in the universe, we documented his response as "????." {We temporarily turn the narration over to God}  I have no clue what in the hell this little cock sucker just said.

61. 3Ds
"Outer Space"  3:15
Dunedin, New Zealand

She gave me a dirty look as just demanded, "what!?" I started to say something else, but not sure what, at this point, I could not even remember the question. She kept staring at me, all the while opening the refrigerator and helping herself to a beer. Right then, the owner of the house stormed into the kitchen, and demanded to know what I was doing in his refrigerator. I told him that I never was in his refrigerator. The woman who was with Sara kept staring at me, and told the home owner that I was the one who retrieved her the beer, and that I also offered to make her a sandwich. He then re-opened the refrigerator, claimed there a significant amount of mayonnaise missing out of the jar, and accused me of using all the mayonnaise. He slammed the jar of mayonnaise on the ground, busting it all over the floor, declaring that I owed him $4.

60. Blueboy
"Clear Skies"  3:02
If Wishes Were Horses
Reading, England

By this point, a crowd had gathered into the kitchen. Sara's friend was insisting that I owe the owner of the home $4, and making all sorts of outrageous allegations that I was the one who stole the mayonnaise. In fact, she was so belligerent that the owner of the home backed off and she was doing all the arguing. She shoved me into the counter and pinned me up against the refrigerator; gets right up in my face, and says: "you stupid little mother fucking Vietnamese gook! (BTW- I am not Vietnamese) Look what you did (pointing at the floor)- you clean up all that shit, then get the fuck out of here before I kill you!" She had pretty eyes.

59. The Terminals
"Something Dark"  3:38
Christchurch, New Zealand

At that moment, there was loud crash on the door, then the police had bust in, it was a raid. They ordered everybody down on the ground, and claimed some person present at the party had a warrant regarding some stolen copper. Luckily, I was not spotted, the police were a distraction, the back door was in the kitchen, and I quietly let myself out. Once free, I fled across the backyard, down an alleyway, and out into the streets. I felt as if I still had to be inconspicuous, the police may have chased after me for fleeing the scene of a crime- even though I did not know one single person in that place. Then, once I was on the regular street, I had to not act suspicious, and pretend as if I was never there.

58. Th' Faith Healers
"Love Song"  5:39
Hampstead, England

After the adrenaline faded, new problems arose. One, I had no clue where the fuck I was or how to get home. Second, I had left my coat and my phone in Julio's car. Third, the weather was beginning to change to what the forecast had predicted: it was freezing cold, and pouring down the type of snow with wet gigantic flakes. The wind was gusting right in my face, the snow was piling up on the sidewalks, the grass was covered, and I did not even have on a coat. To make matters worse, my thin button-down shirt was already soaking wet. I was freezing, shivering, and soon it was the weather that consumed me. Furthermore, somehow, now, the streets were completely deserted.

57. Crystalized Movements
"Slid"  5:07
Revelations From Pandemonium
Boston, MA

I was so cold that I could not even think. What just took place at that party seemed like a distant memory. The only thing I could do was to keep trudging along, shriveled up from the cold, hoping a taxi cab, or any sort of car would stop and give me a ride. But, the streets were empty. There was not even anything close to keep shelter- I was lost in some residential area I had never even seen. Fortunately, there were two girls standing out in front of an apartment smoking cigarettes. I did not know them, so I did not approach them. However, they asked me why I wasn't wearing a coat. In the midst of shivering and bouncing up and down to keep warm, I told them about my coat, bits and pieces of my situation, and asked for directions how to get to my neighborhood. I was not even close, but they invited me into their home.

56. The Boo Radleys
"I Feel Nothing"  3:06
Everything's Alright Forever
Wallasey, England

Another gathering was taking place at this apartment as well, though much smaller and quieter. The girls out front smoking had to request permission to allow me to even come in, and admittedly it was awkward. I did not know what to expect here, never seen these people before, but the girls inviting me in were at least cute, so naturally I hoped for that ideal scenario involving me and these two girls. Once inside, this get together consisted of 6 other people, all females, all relatively attractive. At first it was nice, they showed sympathy towards me, took off my shirt to dry on the heater, and gave me a blanket to wrap around myself. They all cuddled towards me too, to keep me warm.

55. Annie Lennox
"Walking On Broken Glass"  4:10
Aberdeen, England

However, talking to these girls was as awkward as possible. First, it was they who established that I should spend the night here, and someone would give me a ride home in the morning- I never asked them for anything. But, they kept asking me questions, personal questions, and they were not satisfied with any answer I gave them. Even my name, I told them my name, and they claimed that it was a stupid name. They asked if I liked the movie they were watching, I told them I had never seen it, they got angry and took it out. Eventually, they all just started making fun of me, no matter what I would say. And, they each took turns ridiculing me for everything possible- my hair, my shoes, everything.

54. Bleach
"Headless"  4:39
Killing Time
Ipswich, England

Because I was cold and wet, I could feel a fever coming on- I did walk close to a mile in the snow, negative 20 wind chill without a coat. My nose was running, and I started coughing. All I wanted to do was go home and go to bed, I was in no condition to be in the company of others, much less people I did not know, much less being ridiculed. But, I tried to keep my composure, although I was fading fast. They asked what kind of music I liked, I told them, and one girl went on a spiel about how that music sucks and the people who listen to it are genuine pricks. They cranked up my least favorite type of music in the world and demand that I listen to it.

53. Manowar
"The Demon's Whip"  7:50
The Triumph of Steel
Auburn, NY

All of the girls at this gathering began to chastise me, telling me that I was a loser. I did not even know them, and none of them even told me their names. They insisted that I deserved all of the bad things that were happening and that they hoped that I caught pneumonia and died. I was feeling too sick to even defend myself, and one of them even pushed me off the couch, declaring that I was no longer permitted to sit on any of the furniture. All I could do was stand in the middle of the living room, still freezing, wrapped in a strange blanket. They all sat in chairs, staring at me, as if I were on display, saying things like: "I can't believe what a fucking loser this guy is. Who the fuck even let him in here?"

52. Pearl Jam
"Yellow Ledbetter"  5:03
B-Side Jeremy
Seattle, WA

I did not wish to stay here, but I had nowhere to go either. Ideally, I would have called for a taxi cab, but nobody would allow me to use their phone. Once I started coughing, the girl who actually lived in the apartment declared that she did not even want me in her blanket, insisting that the blanket was ruined and she was just going to throw it in the trash. I had the shakes, the coughs, and now, I did not even know where my shirt was. The room was spinning, the drugs were wearing off, I was getting sick, and now it was roasting hot in this apartment. "Just get the fuck out of here- loser!" the resident of the apartment finally ordered. "And just keep that blanket, you owe me like $50 for it, and you better bring it by here by Friday or else I will track you down and take it out on you however I see fit." Three girls stood up, grabbed me with force, and shoved me out of the door, back down the steps, and threw me outside in the cold snowy weather again. I no longer had my shirt, but this blanket was a bit warmer.

51. Extreme
"Who Cares?"  8:19
III Sides to Every Story
Boston, MA

I walked another mile, shivering, stopping once to throw up on the sidewalk- it also splattered on the blanket. Finally, I saw something familiar- McDonald's- and it was open. I picked up my pace and proceeded to enter McDonald's- I was the only one there. There were no other patrons, and a bit frightening, there were no employees present. This McDonald's had a piano inside, the piano played by itself. I was afraid, but I was also cold, and I simply stood in the dining room, covered in puke, blood, coughing, stricken with a horrible fever. Things were starting to fade out, and two shadowy figures apprehended me from behind. They grabbed my arms, and walked me towards the back. Once again, I had no idea where I was going, but I was too sick to see. They turned on some strange machine, stripped off my blanket. A woman wrapped her arms around me from behind, unfastened my belt, unbuttoned and unzipped my pants. Two other women took off my shoes, my soaking wet socks. They pulled off my jeans, my underwear, and I was completely naked. All three of them picked me up, and jammed head first into the machine. Moments before I was chopped up in that meat grinder, I finally realized what those yummy cheeseburgers were made from.

NC-17 SOUNDTRAXXX BEST SONGS OF 1992:  100-76  75-51  50-26  25-#1

Top Image by: Ovidiu
Bottom Image by: Pink Floyd

No comments:

Post a Comment

Popular Posts