Part 1: The World Was Actually a Better Place Without Him
Part 2: Deletion Addiction
Part 3: Submission Requests
Part 4: Night of the Party
Part 5: Aftermath: Shootout at The Cheese Bar
Part 6: Online Dating
Part IV: Night of the Party
For best results, press play on the image below to follow the stories with the music.
75. The Field Mice
"Below the Stars" 5:36
Keith, 9:03 AM. I awoke this morning in a somber mood, again. Two weeks ago, Pauline dumped me, for no reason I feel. Lately, I haven't had the desire to go out and do the things I used to do. Today is her birthday, she turns 21 today. She will be having fun, probably having a party. But, not me. I will just sit here, singing this song, wondering what she is doing. Maybe I should go out instead. I should. I'm going to.
74. Vágtázó Halottkémek
"A Világösztön Kiugrasztása" 5:35
A Világösztön Kiugrasztása
Stanley, 10:53 PM; last night I don't normally even take drugs, rarely drink, I have only tried smoking pot on occasion. Financially, I am thrifty, I work long hours, I put in overtime, and my goal is to make more money on my paycheck. Someday, I will own my own business. My friend came up to me with a business opportunity. Someone he knows grew some mind blowing weed in his own basement; this was the shit that people talk about for a year. Nobody knew the secret, but this was top notch, high grade, the best ever. We could make a ton selling it the locals, no worries about the police. I tried some of this. It blew my fucking mind!
"Sixteen Years" 4:41
Ryan, 6:42 PM. I scored a bag of high grade potent shit from my friend Stanley. Tonight it was time to party. I decided that I was going to throw a massive bash at my place. The neighbor's were invited, we all partied here, and there was no trouble with the police. I invited everybody that I work with, all my friends, told them to invite all their friends. This girl I know, Stacy, she turns 21 today; we can have a party for her. Before the party, my close peeps and I smoked a bowl...yes, this stuff was a good as advertised. This was going to be a fun night!
72. Monster Magnet
"Freak Shop U.S.A." 4:37
Red Bank, NJ
Brubank, 8:39 PM. I arrived at the party early; I was one of the first ones there. My buddy Ryan and some friends smoked this weed he had out of this cool water bong I made—five people could smoke out this at once, and it intensified the effects. We only took one hit; he warned me about this shit, one hit was all we needed at this hour. I was feeling good already. That's when we cruised up to the store to get more beer, a shit ton, thing's were already starting to get crazy. People started rolling in earlier than expected, the first moments of a party can be the most exciting.
71. The Residents
"Benny the Bouncing Bump" 6:07
Jacob, 9:02 PM. As for me, I am an experienced pot smoker. My good friend Stanley was at the party, told me about some shit he had, good price too. I bought a little for myself; everybody else was already a bit buzzed at that moment except for me. Needing to catch up, I snuck out back, packed a bowl, and toked up til it was cashed...about 5 hits or so. I never got a warning. Oh my God, I was fucked up, already. All I could do was walk around with a shit eating grin on my face, the music sounded fabulous, and the world obscure. This is why people smoke in the first place.
70. Brand Nubian
"Step to the Rear" 4:01
One For All
New Rochelle, NY
Stacy, 9:54 PM. It's my 21st birthday, and damn right I am having fun tonight...just like you did when you turned 21. Oh yea, first, I bought a shit ton of beer, went to the bar and did some shots with my friends, then cruised over to my friend Ryan's house because he was throwing a party. My friends and I all looked super sexy; we dressed like hookers for tonight. Fuck it; I was getting some on my birthday. The party was rolling in full-swing. My girls got up and shook it on the living room floor. Before too long, we were all up and getting fucked up and dancing. Like, oh my God, we’re so fucking awesome!
69. Pussy Galore
"Revolution Summer" 2:59
Historia De La Musica Rock
Brian, 9:09 PM. There was a good concert tonight, and we were going. Me, my friend Jon, and we gathered up our good buddy Keith who was still wining like a little pussy since his girlfriend dumped him. It was a great show, one we had been looking forward to. The crowd was packed, as people started flowing in. We made Keith drive, he didn't drink much anyway. Jon and I were getting trashed before the band even started, Keith was coming out of his shell, he drank a couple beers too, it’s cool, he could handle it, he wasn't drunk.
68. Thee Headcoats
"Pow Wow" 2:48
Beach Bums Must Die
Brubank, 10:17 PM. HELLLLLL YEAAAHHHH!!!!! Mother fuckers, I am fucking feeling it! This party is rocking! We gots the beers, we gots the best weed on the fucking planet, we gots a whole fucking house full of hot ass babes. If I die and go to heaven, this is it. Me and one of these girls is hitting it off already, we started rubbing each other on the living room turned dance floor. She and I went back in the kitchen, took a couple tokes, started making out and shit. You watch, tonight, I'm gonna hit that!
"Second Chance" 4:47
Keith, 10:48 PM. Sure, I went out. Sure, I was having fun. But, it was Pauline's 21st birthday, and I couldn't help but think of her. At least I was out too. My thoughts kept turning to her though. Honestly, I really wanted to see Pauline, it had been awhile. Briefly, I went into a shell, got all anti-social, I was feeling the sadness coming on. There was Jon, over there talking to some girl, they introduced me. I was still in a funk, but I was trying to snap out of it. I wondered if Pauline was coming. What would I do?
66. The Perfect Disaster
"Little Sister (If Ever Days)" 5:18
Jon, 10:49 PM. Like that little pussy Keith, I got dumped fairly recently too. Well, longer than recently, about 5 months. I haven't had any in 5 months, a super long dry spell I suppose. But, my last girlfriend did me in. She was a bitch, did me wrong, cheated on me, took all my shit, haven't seen her ass since. So, I haven't been myself lately. Admittedly, at first, I was sad, lost some confidence. The sadness turned to bitterness, as if I hated women. Here I am now, still bitter, pretending not to be sad because of dip shit Keith. I was trying to talk this girl who happened to come stand right beside us. I had no idea why I am even talking to her.
65. The Necks
Brian, 10:50 PM. (laughs) I saw it from the get-go. Jon just goes up and starts talking to her about something stupid, still in his stupid bitter shit. As soon as Keith came over, she was immediately attracted to Keith. But, Jon started talking to her first. Then, Jon went to the bathroom, and there she was now talking to Keith. Good thing we are all good friends. Jon was a bit pissed, though he'll never admit it. He joined the three, kept calling Keith a cock-blocker, then tried to be as much of a cock-blocker to Keith as he could. Yea, it was a dick move, but that's what friends are for. Jon told this girl that Keith didn't have a job and was running a welfare scam, and that he had 4 kids from 4 different women.
64. Pain Teens
"Pleasures of the Flesh" 4:06
Born in Blood
Keith, 11:38 PM. I seriously had a chance with that girl, and she kept copping cheap feels on me. Then, dipshit Jon ruined everything. Eventually she dipped out without saying goodbye to any of us. Brian had to intervene to settle once and for all which of us was the bigger cock-blocker...Jon. Whatever, talking with that girl got me out of my funk. Jon was being stupid as fuck, drinking, and was showing no indication of being ready to go home and go to bed. Brian had a girlfriend; I didn't think he liked her too much though. Always complained about how he was getting rid of her. The show was good, but eventually we all became more interested in getting laid than watching this band. I could still drive, and my friend Ryan was having a party. We went there instead.
63. The Gories
"Hey Hey, We're the Gories" 2:08
I Know You Fine, But How You Doin'
Jon, midnight. The ride over was a slight buzz killer, farther than we thought, and Keith did not know exactly how to get there for he had never been there before. But, we found it. We knew it was the right place because some other mother fucker Keith worked with was passed out in the yard. The music was coming from upstairs. Brian & I didn't know anybody, you know that awkward feeling. Nobody answered the door, so we just went in. It was a grand entrance, everybody was bombed, the party was rolling, and we were ready to kick start it into the next gear.
"Shut the Door" 4:49
Brian, 12:03AM. You never know what to expect when you go into somebody's house that you don't know in a neighborhood you've never been in. Those brief introductions. Hi, I'm Brian, I'm so and so. I stood sort of by myself, just scoping out the scene, getting a feel. These mother fuckers were trashed, the place was trashed, guess I didn't have to worry about wearing my shoes on the carpet. I had to take a piss. Found the bathroom. There was some girl in there passed out by the toilet, she had puked on the floor, she wasn't moving. I just stepped over her and pissed in the bathtub, turned on the shower to flush. She thought I was going to throw her in the shower, and was still mumbling something even as I walked out. I simply shut the door, said fuck it, and re-joined the party.
61. Yo La Tengo
Ryan, 12:09 AM. For whatever reason, I always wanted to impress Keith. He was a cool dude; we got along good at work. We had always talked about hanging out after work; he was the coolest dude at work. Turns out, he used to date my friend Stacy…go thing they just missed each other. So, he shows up with these cats to my party, you know, I couldn't have him going back into work Monday talking shit that my party was lame. It wasn't. Neither was this weed I had. I asked them if they wanted to smoke, they were like, shit yea homey! We broke out the good bong, and several hits later, we were back in full-swing.
"Stormy Weather" 3:27
Keith, 12:46 AM. I only smoke weed occasionally, but for whatever reason, people think that I am a regular pot head. Ryan insisted that he get me super stoned, supposedly he had this shit that blows away all the other weed in town...yea yea, they all say that. I took four hits off it, and didn't feel a thing. Brian didn't either, and was over there taking several tokes off the bong. There is a reason it is called creeper, meaning, you don't feel it at first, then gradually...I am so fucking stoned right now. And look at Brian taking all those hits. Me and Jon laughed our asses off at Brian because he never smokes either. When that shit kicks in, he is going to be so fucked up!
59. Helios Creed
"Big Clown" 5:59
Boxing the Clown
Long Beach, CA
Brian, 1:46 AM. Holy fucking shit! I am fucking baked. Shit, Marla is calling, looking for me. Son of a bitch, why did I smoke so much of that shit? Coupled with the alcohol. I don't know any of these people either, what the hell was in that shit. I have to keep cool. Keith knows these people; Jon seems to be having fun. Jon is a fucking pothead though. He's stoned too. Keith is stoned. We are all stoned. So, not everyone knows that I am stoned. It's OK, I am allowed to be stoned, I don't have to hide. Some guy I've never met keeps talking to me; I don't know what he's saying. I don't even know if he is talking to me, or somebody else. I just say yea every now and then. I'm just gonna go over here and stand by Jon now.
A Gilded Eternity
Keith, 2:18 AM. I wasn't ready to leave, but Brian declared we had to go, said the cops were coming. Seriously, I cannot drive. Furthermore, I don't even know where the fuck we are. I'll figure it out. Seriously, I drove three blocks in the back streets, and came to my senses. Stop the car, get out. I told Jon and Brian that I can't drive right now. What the fuck? They ask. Whatever, Jon, you fucking cock-blocker. After we laughed for what seemed eternity, I told them that I need to get out, take a little stroll, and wear this buzz off until I can drive. Fuck it, it's a nice night. Let's take a walk. There wasn't any cops coming.
57. Poster Children
Brian, 2:21 AM. I had no idea where the fuck we even were. I'm drunk as piss, stoned out of my gourd, and walking around this neighborhood. Where the fuck are we? This was a pretty sketchy neighborhood; I'm surprised we haven't been shot at yet. And, I have to take a fucking piss. Despite the fact we are in this neighborhood, Jon is being loud, so is Keith, fuck it, just go with it. We are all out having fun. I'm going to take a piss, right here, by this porch. I think it’s the dude's house we were just at anyway. Right as I was pissing, I realized I wasn't at the house of the party, and accidentally knocked over a plant onto the porch. The lights came on rapidly, I had to take off running with my dick still out. Run!
56. Raga Rockers
Rock 'N' Roll Party
Keith, 2:22 AM. Man, I didn't feel like running right then. Fucking stupid ass Brian. We ended up having to ditch out behind this building for awhile, waiting for shit cool down. Then, I totally forgot where the fucking car was. We had to walk around forever looking for the damn car, having to avoid this one block the whole time. It was pitch black out, all these houses looked the same, and we were started get tired of walking, Brian could barely walk. By the time we did find the car, I then had no fucking clue how to get the fuck out this neighborhood. I got so turned around from running, hanging out by a building, then we drove around forever trying to figure out how to get the hell out of this damn neighborhood.
55. Tragic Mulatto
"Stinking Corpse Lily" 3:01
San Francisco, CA
Brian, 3:38 AM. (hammered, black out drunk, passed out in the front seat) KFKKKZKHKHK (going in and out) aldfjadlfjaljeio
Dude, I have to throw up. Keith pulled over, I opened the door, and started heaving my guts out. I fell out of the car, and plopped right into a puddle of sewage that had overflowed. The smell made me even more sick. I still had no idea where we were. Get me out of this sewage.
"Two Marines" 3:03
Victor, 3:19 AM. My bar closed at 2:00, people hung out still. Fuck it, I didn't care, more money for me. We just didn't serve too much alcohol past 2:00. The problem is, these people have been going at it all night. It's like one group of bikers stumble in, take up one whole side. A bunch of fucking niggers on the other side. Welcome to my bar, no class. White trash, black trash, they both got fucked over by the system, you'd think they'd get along. But no. I'm white, but it's the white people that gotta start the shit. And these black kids come in from off the streets, they don't just ignore the shit. These mother fuckers been pushin' and shovin' all night. Calling each other names, starting shit. We had to come in, break shit up, you mother fuckers stay on one side, you mother fuckers stay on the other. Or, you’re getting thrown out. I wasn't looking forward to these pricks all being outside though.
53. Public Enemy
"Brothers Gonna Work It Out" 5:08
Fear of a Black Planet
Jon & Keith 3:41 AM. J: Dude, Brian's face down in a puddle of sewage. K: What the fuck? J: Come on; help me get him out of here. Somehow, the sewer flooded into this ditch, and even more somehow, Brian managed to fall in it. Jon and Keith together tried to pull Brian out, but he wasn't budging. Plus, they were trying to be careful not to step into the sewage themselves, and to avoid Brian throwing up on them. It was hopeless. They looked at Brian, worried for a few minutes. Then, they looked at each other, and laughed uncontrollably until both of them were practically lying in the road from laughing so hard. That is, until they heard the gun shots.
52. Judas Priest
"All Guns Blazing" 3:57
Victor, 3:44 AM. I don't know who said what, what started it, I look up, these fucking bikers are running their mouths, and called somebody a nigger right to his face. I jump from around the bar, ain't having this shit, I pushed him away, get the fuck out of here now. Then, they're all like, you fucking nigger lover. I'm like, fuck you, go the fuck home, nobody needs this shit. Then they're all starting to scuffle, I can't keep track of all of them. A black guy busts this fucking bottle over some guy’s head, they're all fighting, getting in each other's faces, I'm yelling, get the fuck out of here…. Get the fuck out of here! All these mother fuckers pile outside. One guy punches another, then another. Some fucking moron draws a fucking gun and shoots somebody. Then, they all got guns out, shooting back and forth at each other. I'm just ducked down, trying not to get shot. I can't see a God damn thing, just hearing a bunch of fucking yelling, a bunch of fucking screaming, and mother fuckers shooting at each other.
"Expendable Youth" 4:10
Seasons in the Abyss
Los Angeles, CA
Ryan, 3:49 AM. We were still partying, just us pros at this point. We were just sitting around the living room, smoking a bowl, talking, listening to some jams. I heard all this yelling outside, some guns going off. I'm like, man, what the fuck? I looked out the window. Some guy is yelling shit, saying fuck you mother fucker. This other cat has a gun pointed at him. Dude's like go ahead, shoot me mother fucker. And man, that was it. I saw the whole thing first hand. The dude pulled the trigger, and fucking shot the guy, dead. Shot him right in the head, point blank. It was the first time I had ever seen somebody get shot like that in real life. I'll never forget that image.
Top Image by: Cover Art for Gunfight Magazine
Bottom Image from the filmThe Undertaker & His Pals