2011/10/19

The Top 75 Songs of 1984

The Top 150 Songs of 1984 + 100 Planes of Parallel Existence
Part 1: The Concept of Living 100 Separate Lives Simultaneously
Part 2: The Control Room
Part 3: Bosco's Early Deaths
Part 4: Mayday! Mayday! Red Altert! Squirrels! Mayday!
Part 5: Abnormal Executions
Part 6: Nakita, She's the One

Part IV: Mayday! Mayday! Red Altert! Squirrels! Mayday!


Press play to listen to the songs.



Since we are not all living on the same Plane number, relationships can get complicated. Bosco's girlfriend Steamboat Samantha was living on her Plane #53, which is the plane where you reside among those who share the most universes with you- there exists a sense of familiarity, though nobody knows why. Bosco was living on his Plane #9 and did not fit in well with the members of Steamboat's Plane #53 group. He and Steamboat Samantha shared only two other planes together; there was an obvious attraction, but the competition from other random people who just so happened to share more planes proved problematic as Steamboat Samantha left Bosco to return to her ex-boyfriend Marco, who she had previously dumped for Bosco.

75. Deep Purple
"Perfect Strangers"  5:31
Perfect Strangers
Hertford, England

Bosco, who had been acting strangely lately anyway, decided to push a dumpster to the top of a hill, and then roll it down into Marco's house. As the dumpster was racing towards the home, he began to feel guilty (and immortal) and ran to the home and jumped out in front of the speeding dumpster. To no avail, Bosco's Plane #9 now reads "DEAD", as does screen #42 for Marco's toy poodle, Skippy.

74. Iggy Pop
"Repo Man"  5:13
Repo Man Soundtrack
Muskegon, MI

This is when things got complicated. Skippy too felt a pause. Bosco and Skippy share one other plane together in close proximity, Plane #65. On Plane #65, dogs have control over humans, for mighty Doberman Trixie from the kingdom of Farakaw conquered man a long time thus preventing the invention of weapons. On Plane #65, Skippy tracked down Bosco, had him neutered, then put to sleep.

73. Dead Cops
"I Hate Work"  2:02
Kill the Cops
Tokyo, Japan

And other strange phenomenon began occurring. On Plane #73, Bosco came from a rich family who had invented video rear-view mirrors and Bosco never had to work. He just sat around his house all day smoking weed and watching MILF porn on the internet. On that rare occasion he actually left his house, he was viciously attacked by all the squirrels in the community. On the screen, one of the squirrels appears to be flexing its muscles into the camera. Who ordered those squirrels to kill Bosco? They seemed so normal before.

72. The Chills
"Purple Girl"  3:24
Pink Frost Single
Dunedin, New Zealand

At the exact same time... On Plane #12, Bosco is a professional bowler, which is a huge "sport" here. Feeling intensely jubilant at the bowling alley, Bosco put on this song, and rapidly threw 10 different balls down 10 different lanes, all strikes! The fastest ever 300 game! As a celebration, Bosco ran down the next lane and dove head first into the pins, yet another strike. And, yet another screen that reads "DEAD"...with the pin gathering machine on top of him.

71. The Icicle Works
"Nirvana"  5:06
S/T
Liverpool, England

Bosco must be poisonous to squirrels. In his Control Room were now Bosco #73, 26 random squirrels, the employees, and Bosco #12 equipped with a bowling pin. Chaos ensued as Bosco #12 chased around the squirrels and attempted to whack them with it. The employees got involved in the scuffle, and a major control was accidentally struck by the bowling pin, sending the most bizarre weather occurrence Plane #13 had ever seen, a tornado suddenly emerged, scooped up Bosco, and sent him into the Control Room, with the words "DEAD" amidst him swirling in a tornado on screen #13. There is nothing worse than dying in a tornado, and then having to enter the afterlife in the middle of feud between afterlife personnel, two other dead versions of yourself- one with a bowling pin, and 26 ghostly squirrels. This was some tornado.

70. Gangway
"Yellow"  3:49
The Twist
Copenhagen, Denmark

It was a gorgeous sunny day on Plane #32, and Bosco and his wife Zephyr Lei were having a picnic. Things were wonderful, and Bosco, being the sweetie that he was, was in the process of saying romantic things to her. For what seemed no reason (another button was pushed in squirrel scuffle) Bosco backhanded Zephyr and called her a filthy greasy hoe. In return, Zephyr bludgeoned him with the picnic basket.

69. Lydia Lunch
"Still Burning"  6:03
In Limbo
New York, NY

Lydia Lunch is in the top few most desired people to spend Paradise with on every single plane she exists. Plane #51, the plane which is suited exactly to your own liking, Bosco actually hooked up with her. This is Plane #36 for Skippy. Looking to overcome adversity, they invaded Earth from the planet Skonzerowicz along with an army of squirrels. Bosco and Lydia Lunch were targeted for assassination, and the mission was a success.

68. Zouo
"Bloody Master"  3:06
Final Agony
Osaka, Japan

Going from a punk Goddess to now being in Bosco's chaotic control room with a bunch of squirrels getting chased around by some maniac swinging a bowling pin is not what any sane person would prefer. Although order was soon restored, everyone evacuated, Miss Lunch left her mark. After carefully examining the screens, and the control that was dropped on the floor, she pushed one button, waited, and pushed the other. Bosco had never even seen the Plasythus, the demonic ruler of a far universe in Section 26,212 Category R, much less how he got into the Northwest Mutual Conference room in Plane #59 and destroyed him.

67. Sade
"Your Love is King"  3:41
Diamond Life
London, England

Lydia pushed one more button, then left peacefully into her waiting lobby. Plane #95, Bosco was a successful musician. That is until Yulian showed up at his door from the planet Zesperatarian. Because of the button Lydia pushed, Yulian, a 640 pound non-sexual being who appears absolutely grotesque to humans on Plane #95, was suddenly determined Bosco was his soulmate in Paradise. The sex was most unpleasant, and Bosco had an allergic reaction which caused his Screen #95 to read "DEAD" with a 640 pound scabbing Zesperatarian humping him.

66. The Waterboys
"Rags"  5:21
A Pagan Place
London, England

On Plane #80, Bosco was considered a major success story. He had been on People magazine's Sexiest Man Alive issue, made movies, albums, and even had a talk show. He did, however, lead a bit of a reckless life, was considered controversial, and was often as much hated as he was adored. One day he was travelling down the highway behind a semi truck being driven by chickens, the back door of the truck opened, and the renegade bandit chickens opened fire on him. This may or may not have been a result of the mayhem in his control room, this was periodic normal behavior for chickens on Plane #80.

65. The Pogues
"Poor Paddy"  3:10
Red Roses For Me
London, England

It had been a strange life for Bosco on Plane #26, where he was being tested to see if he could dictate change. Today, though, had been particularly strange. His girlfriend left him, he got bitten by a squirrel, and swore he saw a UFO. He asked himself, when is this going to change? Maybe!, he thought, if I walk these railroad tracks and have a jousting match with the next train that comes! Good idea.

64. No Trend
"Too Many Humans"  3:52
Too Many Humans
Ashton, MD

Plane #78 is a random placement plane where people just form automatically without any parental conception. They simply sprout here as a means to fulfill each being's 100 planes. Bosco, in the midst of crowd, began feeling strangely. That's when Plasythus appeared and destroyed the entire planet.

63. Exciter
"Pounding Metal"  4:30
Violence and Force
Ottawa, ON Canada

On Plane #21, Bosco showed up for work at the steel plant in his uniform, a white wedding gown with his name stitched above the breast. He bet his co-workers that if they were to drop an anvil on his head, there would be a slight pause, and that he would be perfectly fine. His co-workers each got $5, while Bosco #21 got to see in his Control Room how he looks on TV with his head smashed behind the word "DEAD".

62. Sneaky Feelings
"Everything I Want"  5:30
Send You
Dunedin, New Zealand

Bosco put on a suit, a nice hat, and carried a bouquet of flowers and an umbrella onto the roof of the downtown skyscraper. He pleasantly greeted everybody who walked by, sang cheerfully, and even had a squirrel following him playing the accordion. After opening the umbrella, he jumped from the skyscraper, calmly, still singing and holding the flowers, anticipating that after he landed, everything would be all right. His splattering was headline news on Plane #28.

61. Gauze
"Love Song"  2:41
Fuck Heads
Tokyo, Japan

Several months ago on Plane #49, Bosco sent out a love letter to Lydia Lunch. Today, mysteriously, Lydia Lunch returned the favor in a special express package labeled "urgent". Bosco excitedly tore open the package, and gleefully embellished himself with the anthrax contained within. As Bosco #49 was escorted to his waiting area, he pleaded that this constitutes as grounds that it is he who Lydia Lunch wished to spend Paradise with eternally.

60. Sielun Veljet
"Tää on Tää"  2:44
Hei Soturit
Joensuu, Finland

On Plane #8, Bosco was out in the woods getting drunk with his friend, Scott the talking horse. Scott was going on and on about how they should go to this wild party so Bosco can shack up with Cootie McGee. Bosco jumped on Scott's back, and they both felt a pause. Bosco agreed with Scott that he could easily make the leap over this steep pit. Scott did it! But upon landing, Bosco fell off of his back and into the pit, where somebody had set a Plasythus trap.

59. Biting Tongues
"Aair Care"  4:58
Libreville
Manchester, England

Plane #97 was overrun with corrupt politicians and power abusive police and military. Bosco, and his best friend Scott the talking horse, felt that they had been called upon to put an end to the tyranny. Bosco constructed some wings and attached them to Scott insisting that he would be able fly just like his hero Pegasus, and that Bosco would be able to fly like Superman. They did successfully prevent a teenage girl from being raped… by falling from the sky onto the assailants.

58. Cirith Ungol
"Atom Smasher"  4:12
King of the Dead
Ventura, CA

Plane #75 had forced conceptions by means of test tube babies. However, the environment became unsuitable to these children due to the extreme air pollution. The test tube conceptions had contracted some sort of illness that affected their brains and had turned them violent. Control Room personnel had to schedule genocide for these types or else they would end this world prematurely; the appointment was for Wednesday. But, on Monday, Cootie McGee hired one of them to kill Bosco because he did not buy her anything for her birthday.

57. Black Death
"Fear No Evil"  6:07
S/T
Cleveland, OH

On Plane #39, there is only one religion, and Melvin is unanimously considered the son of God. All of the currency reads: "In Melvin We Trust." When the sky turned black as killer squirrels, Queen Lydia Lunch and her general, Plasythus, invaded this once peaceful world, the community put their faith in Melvin. And Melvin did return; he approached Bosco, and asked: "what the fuck did you do these people?" The Control Room actually intervened to make certain no squirrels were killed in the invasion; they did not even feel like chasing a bunch of squirrels around again.

56. Slade
"In the Doghouse"  2:48
Keep Your Hands Off My Power Supply
Wolverhampton, England

Steamboat Samantha and Bosco also share Plane #45, without Marco, but with Scott the talking horse- Bosco's best friend. Again, there is a serious attraction, and the two have formed a romantic relationship here too. Steamboat demanded Bosco be home by 11:00, but he was out drinking, again, with Scott. Angry, Steamboat went to bed. Bosco stumbled in around 3:00, around the same time Steamboat was having a dream about Bosco having sex with Lydia Lunch. Let's just say she awoke from the dream in a bad mood- enough to disqualify her from Bosco's Paradise.

55. Bastards
"Salvation"  2:08
Siberian Hardcore
Tampere, Finland

Bosco's Plane #96 was Plane #80 for Felipe Parks, a the successful scientist who invented a means where people could safely remove their body parts. At concerts, people would remove their heads and hold them in the air in order to see better; the heads still had all senses, and people even talked this way. Bosco was a punk concert with his friend Larry, and they both had their heads off and holding them in the air. The band's guitarist smashed his guitar and threw out into the crowd, knocking Bosco's head out of his hand.

54. Television Personalities
"Say You Won't Cry"  4:35
The Painted Word
London, England

Plane #2 was the other plane Bosco shared with Steamboat Samantha. As far as personality traits are concerned, they are meant for one another. But, due to other circumstances, it is not meant to be. One, she has too many other planes with Marco; two, she murdered him on another plane thanks to Lydia Lunch screwing with the controls. But Plane #2, is Steamboat's Plane #60, worst case scenario. She is so poor, that her brother, Tugboat Samantha, sold her to some rich old guy in Libya as a mail-order bride, even though she was in love with Bosco. He never got over this, and one night set sail to go find her. The boat sank and Bosco was eaten by a school of barracudas.

53. The Flaming Lips
"Bag Full of Thoughts"  5:39
S/T EP
Oklahoma City, OK

Bosco forfeited everyone of his possessions on Plane #24, and by choice, lived on the streets. He earned enough money for food and beverages as a non-confrontational street musician with more than adequate skills; local bands would even come by his corner to play with him. However, he did not want to work a "regular" job or live in a home as a boycott to capitalism and banks. Some kid was smoking weed, ran from the cops, the cops shot at him- hit Bosco.

52. Rickie Lee Jones
"It Must Be Love"  5:00
The Magazine
Chicago, IL/Los Angeles, CA

Lydia's curse backfires! Furthermore, the personnel were able to detect that particular malfunction and correct it. Plane #61, Bosco goes into a hotel; Shilo Newton goes into a hotel. Lydia had pushed a button suddenly directing the entire Northwest Mutual Conference into this hotel- no vacancy. They weren't supposed to ever meet, but on a rainy night, Bosco made eye contact with Shilo Newton, and the two stood in the rain experiencing love at first strike, sight rather, strike regards the missile launch that demolished the hotel and put the word "DEAD" on Plane #61.

51. Venom
"At War With Satan"  19:57
At War With Satan
Newcastle, England

On Plane #66, Bosco's life was so miserable, that he decided to have a séance and attempt to conjure up the powers of Satan. Out of his apartment he emerged on his demon horse, Scott, to unleash terror on the village of Shorewood, namely the parking police, and Luke Gregory, whose fence had been deemed too high at Village Hall. They struck down a large portion of the village, until, mysteriously, there was a hurricane on Lake Michigan. There had never been a level 5 hurricane on a Great Lake, and it only claimed two lives (Bosco & Scott) and the damage was merely one fence.









Top image by: Photoshot
Bottom Image by: Flickriver

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