The Top 75 Songs of 1975

The Best of 1975 + The Red Alert
Part 1 of 6: (Tracks 160-131) The Age of Eventually
Part 2 of 6: (Tracks 130-101) The Night They Always Remembered
Part 3 of 6: (Tracks 100-76) The Invasion
Part 4 of 6: (Tracks 75-51) The Fascinating City
Part 5 of 6: (Tracks 50-26) The Nearby Tavern
Part 6 of 6: (Tracks 25-#1) The Desolate Wasteland

Part IV: The Fascinating City

Press play on the image below to listen to the songs while you read.

75. Gil Scott-Heron & Brian Jackson
"Ain't No Such Thing as Superman"  4:11
Midnight Band: The First Minute of a New Day
Chicago, IL (1949)-New York, NY (2011) :-(

There is no such thing as evolution or creation. The world came equipped with a bridge, the boat, a mode of transportation, and a means to start fires. Primitive man would have been too stupid to survive on Earth. Human infants are completely worthless, take too long to develop, and have no survival skills whatsoever.

Of all the species in the world, the human infant is by far the most useless. Baby monkeys are at least capable of moving at a relatively early age. If the human species was spawned by primates such as chimpanzees and orangutans then the human race would have to be perceived as digression rather than evolution. There is no way an advancement of a species would require years of nurturing to a useless screaming crying noisy child.

Most people living today have no clue how to start a fire with anything other than matches and gasoline. Mysteriously, the ability to build fires with devices other than lighters and paper spread throughout various cultures all across the globe; even to regions of the world that many did not know even existed. Due to the fact that the human digestive system requires food to be thoroughly cooked in order to prevent disease and death, the first wave of humans would have died off quickly from an outbreak of either salmonella or e coli. The babies would have been eaten by wolves before having the chance to reproduce as rapidly as they have currently infested the Earth.

It is doubtful that a primitive family who boasted a family of monkeys for parents had the capability to travel too far from the place they were born. Gathering food would have been an arduous task that only a select few would be able to accomplish. Without the proper equipment that is available now, winter would have killed most children to the extreme that the human population would have diminished too rapidly to multiply the race. During the months of snow, there was no vegetation and due to the wetness, no means to build a fire. These mother fuckers sure as shit didn't have Tupperware containers to store shit in the refrigerator during the months when food was scarce.

Assuming the human race has evolved and advanced over time, this meant that those living thousands of years ago were even dumber than the people residing on Earth today. This meant that primitive families walked around outside in the snow completely clueless what to do because there was no television commentator to explain to them what needed to be done; Rachel Ray was not there to provide them with basic meals and diet plans to be used in times of winter. As a result, the human race would have been completely wiped out their first winter amidst scenes of lame overbearing mothers tromping through the forest to scold a squirrel for urinating on a tree in the presence of her worthless crying child.

74. Sweet
"Lies in Your Eyes"  3:47
Give Us a Wink
Harefield, England

Beverly's natural instinct was to deceive people in order to obtain the necessary resources required to purchase manufactured products she had deemed essential for survival. She had assumed that she would never acquire the ability to achieve any of this on her own and was dependent on other people to purchase these goods for her. Her compatibility with others consisted solely on his ability to purchase her the products that she wanted out of life. As a result, she had a home fully decorated with extravagant useless shit such as potpourri dishes, picture frames featuring photos of herself, stupid ass magnets littered across the refrigerator, and an $800 wicker basket.

Any time a new store opened or an existing store ran an incredible sale, Beverly would pretend to be enamored with people who she assumed would buy her merchandise from the new store or items featured in the incredible sale. In fact, she was far more concerned with material things over meaningful relationships. One might draw the conclusion that she did not like anybody, not even Ernie, because she only pretended to like people for their money. She finally settled on Ernie, some douchy mother fucker who earned enough money from his office job to buy her all of the shit that some other stupid mother fucker (her mother) claimed needed to happen in order for anybody to be able to "win" her. This type of shit included diamond rings, suburban homes with guest bedrooms, decorative towels for the bathroom, and wallpaper for the kitchen that matched the stove.

She had to settle with Ernie because he represented the category of people stupid enough to be intrigued with her simply because of the clothes that she wore; clothes an ex-lover had been duped into purchasing for her from the last Holiday Sale. Beverly had adopted all of the characteristics that the television set instructed her would be viable in order for her to achieve the suburban happiness of a normal home equipped with photos of her in a dress at Barbara's wedding; Barbara married some other douchy mother fucker who was exactly like Ernie.

This was the way of life. This represented exactly what the corporate conditioning process wanted out of people.

Those with artistic visions despised Beverly, Barbara, Ernie, and that other douchy cock sucker who married Barbara because they liked her make-up, nail polish, and the way she looked in those jeans that were being worn by everybody else that autumn... the ones the magazine said was in style that year. Furthermore, they ultimately despised Beverly's deceptive nature and could not stand the fact that she was a swindling lying whore; most did not even regard her as an actual human being.

But she was a human being and displayed all of the characteristics of the domineering culture that deemed Earth the failure. Like all humans, she was completely worthless for over two years—her first two years when she developed a dependency on others simply because she was vulnerable to most aspects of the outside world and the class struggle created by the corporate conditioning process that insisted she needed that $800 wicker basket.

In this spectrum of reality, Beverly was a successful woman who enjoyed far more privileges and benefits of those who manufactured the products that she purchased to decorate her elegant home. Just as an experiment, a version of the infantile Beverly was replicated and placed in the woods to see how she would survive without the $800 wicker basket. She was soon swallowed whole by a large python.

73. Chris Squire
"You By My Side"  5:00
Fish Out of Water
London, England

I fell in love with Alexis the moment I laid eyes upon her. She had the most perfect personality as it pertained to my desired companionship and looked exactly the part of the woman that I had always dreamed of being with for eternity. We have the most wonderful relationship, we are always together, and in-tune with each other's emotions.

Some might suggest that Alexis saved me and I will even confess to that. She provided that element that was missing in my life; she excelled at all things in which I was a failure. I am positive that I do something for her because she was the one who actually pursued the relationship and some have claimed that she forced me into the relationship. However, on the technicality of not sounding arrogant, I will not boast or brag about what I bring to this relationship.

But I certainly have my flaws. In this world, my flaws may be exploited as a means to make me vulnerable and conform to the dreaded policies that diminish freewill. As a matter of fact, I attempted to fight the world alone and lost considerably. By the time I met Alexis, I was downtrodden, distraught with society, and not living up to my potential.

Alexis miraculously pulled everything together. She exposed my strengths that outweighed my weaknesses. She provided all of the missing ingredients and together we changed the world. I like to think of myself as part of the picture, she the other part of the picture, and together, we create THE BIG PICTURE.

There is just one problem. I have never met Alexis in this world and am uncertain that she even resides on this particular plane of The Universe. She lives somewhere, but I am not sure where. Someday I will find her... that will be the day my whole life changes.

72. B.J. Thomas
"(Hey Won't You Play) Another Somebody Done Somebody Wrong Song"  3:22
Hugo, OK/Arlington, TX

I wanted some pussy! And that was final, done deal, end of discussion. My wife wasn't giving me none, so I went out and fucked somebody else.

I wasn't giving him no pussy because I was never attracted to him in the first place. I had only pretended to like him so that he would buy me some new shoes. Who cares if he fucked somebody else? (Me! I care.) In order to compensate for faking that I don't even care, I am going out in these shoes and fucking some different person that I am not attracted to; I am not attracted to anybody; I will fuck anybody. I am attracted to everybody.

When I saw her out with that other guy I panicked. I felt as if she had done me wrong. Why would she be giving him some pussy and not me? I bought her those shoes. That must mean that he is a better person than I. I am a loser. I have a little dick. I am a horrible lover. She is with him because I am inadequate in bed.

I hadn't been laid in over a year. When she approached me, I did not even care that she was married; I was just astounded that a woman was speaking to me. I was so excited that I bought her 14 drinks, took her out for an expensive meal, bought her a new wardrobe, and then fucked her for nearly 37 seconds. It was the greatest moment of my life.

She never spoke to me again. The next time I saw her was at the exact same place we met. This time she was there with another guy. I felt so ashamed of myself that I left, saddened, and did nothing but sit in my truck drinking Wild Irish Rose straight out of the bottle.

I found that man who fucked my wife. The piece of shit was sitting in his truck drinking shitty ass mother fucking Wild Irish Rose straight out of the bottle. What a fucking loser! It was hard to accept the fact that I was less of a lover than this prick. I snuck up to the side of his truck, opened the door, and shot the son-of-a-bitch six times.

Then, I shot myself.

There I sat at the bar, listening to this guy's bullshit. It was totally boring, but I looked really nice in my low cut blouse that revealed my legendary cleavage. In-between his rants about how he was promoted to corporate executive he kept trying to glance down my shirt

71. C.W. McCall
"Convoy"  3:53
Black Bear Road
Audobon, IA/Ouray, CO

There must have been a premonition to the disaster. Too many rules, too much power, and too much emphasis on what the man perceived as normal. 

A minor portion of the population had rebelled against the selected styles outlined on the television and the tabloid magazines. They did not lead the lifestyle conveyed in the magical components of the industry in which the corporate governor earned an income from the commercialized exploitation of the vulnerable. An entire sub-culture emerged in the wake of the fallout. 

Many of them did not even know of the disaster for it had been omitted from the headlines. However, something told them not to conform to the standards of the corrupted regime. These people intentionally violated the rules, disobeyed the policies, and displayed complete insubordination towards the conditioning process.

Trouble loomed in the dawning of complete control. Many of these insubordinate rebels were actually essential to the marketing ploys that generated the income. Without the truck driver, the goods could not be delivered to the stores where the women needed to attend the major sale. They ignored the typical standards of decency, dressed differently, talked differently, developed their own style, and seemed to form a union warning others of the delegated enforcers of the corporate law.

They had no choice but to strategically form a war against one another. The governors implemented new laws in order to make the deliverer of the products conform to the system. And yet more ways were devised in order to make them vulnerable. 

However, without them, their world could actually crumble. Ideally there would be a full-fledged revolt initiated by the truck drivers to abolish certain restrictions or else the products their society depended upon would vanish. It is believed they suppressed the revolt with a disaster, diminished a different sector to create a new system of vulnerability, and conditioned a new breed of deliverers. 

NOTE: This tale featuring "The Rubberduck" and "Pigpen" embarking on a renegade truck driver's revolt is the 70's country version of N.W.A.'s Fuck the Police. It also proves that the oppressors are also vulnerable and this could be exploited if done properly.

70. Paul Simon
"50 Ways to Leave Your Lover"  3:32
Still Crazy After All These Years
Newark, NJ

She was driving me fucking nuts and that's all there was to it. Matters were totally complicated and everything about this whole ordeal was totally fucked. I do this, she nags; I do that, she nags. This bitch leaves me a list of shit to do on my day off as if I give a flying fuck about any of it. Her fucking ass actually wanted me to go to fucking Wal Mart and buy some shitty ass weed killer and spend the entire day walking around the fucking yard dumping weed killer all over the God damn place because she was scared shitless that a mother fucking dandelion might sprout.

Whoop-dee-fucking-doo! I hope the yard transforms into a dandelion garden. She is going to stand out there the entire time in her garden lecturing me about the proper way to apply this shitty fucking weed killer and I don't feel like dealing with it. Her ass can spray the weed killer her damn self. I want to go out and have some fun and all she wants to do is pull weeds out of the ground and place these fucking stupid ass lawn statues all over the place.

Sure enough, first thing in the morning, she's ordering me to wake up early and go to Wal Mart and get the weed killer. I'll get some weed fertilizer is what I'll do.

It's the same shit every weekend. I wanted to hang out with my friends and do something fun, she wanted me to work around the house and fix shit that ain't even broke. Last week I had to spend the whole God damn day at Jo-Ann Fabrics. What the fuck am I even supposed to look at at Jo-Ann Fabrics? Her big ass? Hell no!

I was tired of this shit. Yea, I woke up all right, and told her I was heading to Wal Mart. I just slipped right out the back Jack. I took one look at this yard and thought I ain't dealing with it. I ain't ever coming back here. Fuck it, the bitch can keep the car too.

I snuck out the back gate and simply hopped on the bus Gus. I didn't discuss shit, fuck her. I had a new plan, Stan, and it didn't include her. I took that bus as far as the train station, hopped aboard, and started a new life in a new town far away from this suburban shit lifestyle that I had been conned into leading. This was my new home; this was where I belonged. Our houses didn't look like their houses and I was happy with that.

69. Bob Dylan
"Tangled Up in Blue"  5:43
Blood on the Tracks
Duluth, MN/New York, NY

I had no attachments whatsoever in this town anymore. My job wasn't really all that great and my friends had moved on to more important elements of life. If I left, I wasn't even certain that I would be missed or if even anybody would notice. Anything I was doing here I could do anywhere... it's not as if I had to stay.

Once upon a time I dated this girl. We broke up for all the typical reasons that people end their relationships. For some reason we just didn't work out at the time and she immediately got into another relationship with some guy I used to know. They ended up getting married rather quickly.

I never got married. Maybe I was bitter about that relationship. She did jump into another relationship quickly and it was with a friend. Some reason people act as if there is a contest to see who can jump into the next relationship quicker (a result from fear that the other will find somebody new faster.) I stayed single, but was somewhat bitter with the both of them.

The other day I got a call from her out of the blue. It was a peculiar message and she asked if I had seen Paul; I hadn't seen Paul in years. Apparently he was supposed to go to Wal Mart to buy some weed killer and disappeared without a trace. She called the police and filed a report.

Then in typical Ellen fashion, she seemed to be over him. She said she missed me and thought about me all the time. We talked for several hours, shared some stories, some laughs, she was shocked that I was still single, and then insisted that I come stay with her. She was lonely, going through a tough time, and even joked that I should bring a bag of weed killer with me.

At the time I was vulnerable because I hadn't had any in a while... and she sounded sexy on the phone. Ellen had a way of saying suggestive things that incited some sort of arousal and it appeared she was flirting with me or hoping to get some. I packed my bags, bought a bag of weed killer, and boarded the next bus to her town.

In a bizarre coincidence, the bus made a stop at a depot in a city I had never been. Looking out the window at the scenery I was immediately intrigued and found this place fascinating. There was something magical about this place. As we were cruising through town en route to depot, I saw Paul walking down the street. He looked happy. Hell, he looked great.

We pulled into the depot and I had a long think about Ellen. In fact, I had thought about her the entire duration of the trip. Reflecting back on those days with her, I recalled that just before we broke up I was going through a period where I could not stand Ellen and was planning on dumping her. And just before that, I admired Paul. He played the bass like nobody else, I play drums, and we were pretty much the only two people in that community who liked that music. Hell I shouldn't be bitter with him over her. That's stupid of me.

Fuck Ellen. Just as the bus was about to depart, I stood up, ordered the driver to stop, gathered my bags, and got off the bus. I ran through the streets carrying a suitcase and a bag of weed killer until I finally found him. When I found him he remembered me but it seemed awkward, possibly over Ellen. I told him I had heard what happened, explained, handed him the bag of weed killer, and after a prolonged silence we both laughed loudly until we had tears in our eyes.

We just left that bag of weed killer setting neatly against a building on the sidewalk and walked away. Somebody could use it. "So, you still play the bass?"

68. Waylon Jennings
"Dreaming My Dreams With You"  2:26
Dreaming My Dreams
Littlefield, TX (1937)-Chandler, AZ (2002)

The giant Universe, the big World, the large country, the massive city... Bernard. Through all of this, with all things available, there was Bernard. 18 people in the entire Universe knew Bernard by his name, and these mostly consisted of people he worked with at the insurance office. 

Among those 18 was Elizabeth who was known by nearly 286 people in the entire Universe. Nearly 10 years ago, Elizabeth and Bernard were together and she dumped him. After that, he declared that he was going on indefinite hiatus. There was not one single aspect of The Universe that interested him, just Elizabeth, some woman from down the way who worked at Sherwin Williams paint center. It was difficult to fathom that of all the billions of people in this world, Bernard allowed his one and only short life succumb to depression and misery all over some woman who worked at the paint store.

This became an obsession. Bernard painted everything. He stood in his basement every night, painting, painting the day away. Painting.  Painting. More painting. He painted the walls, the floors, the ceiling, the tiles, the backyard, his house, his toilet, the mayonnaise jar, and soon had extravagant pieces of art all over the place. Nobody knew of this though, just Bernard. 

67. George Harrison
"Ooh Baby (You Know That I Love You)"  4:01
Extra Texture
Liverpool, England

At first, these paintings were a sour reflection of himself and his love for Elizabeth. Even though they were not exactly illustrations of the two, they were various pieces with love as the focal point of the symbolism. 

After she left him for good, he never called her or attempted to reconcile. Instead he showed up at her work, did not speak a word, and spent his entire savings of $6,219 on paint. Bernard proceeded to paint all of the walls various colors, painted the whole house, and was bound and determined to use the entirety of this $6,219 worth of paint.

Prior to this, mother fucker hadn't ever painted shit.

He ripped out the carpet of his home, trashed it, and painted an elegant photo of what he considered Elizabeth in her most pristine condition. This took a great deal of time and effort because at this point he might have been an amateur; he might as well been a natural. Or perhaps it was the pain he felt from losing the only person he ever loved that made his work so elegantly artistic. Regardless, after the floor was finished, he moved on to the ceiling.

Bernard eventually used all of that initial purchase of paint. Each and every week he spent every last dime of earnings not allotted for food and rent at Sherwin Williams buying buckets of paint. Elizabeth was still there, he saw her every week, but never spoke to her, never indicated how he felt, and never expressed any remorse or displayed any emotion whatsoever. He just appeared to be some obsolete lunatic obsessed with paint. Maybe he was a painter. Maybe he was in love.

66. Eric Carmen
"All by Myself"  4:08
Eric Carmen
Cleveland, OH

In the furthest corner of his basement, Bernard was on his knees spray painting the bottom corner. His work was nearly complete; the can of spray paint was nearly empty. Just as he was putting the finishing touch on the final portion of the lower right hand corner in the most desolate basement in the world, the can ran empty leaving the work temporarily unfinished. 

Bernard shook the can and tried once again to emit any last portion of spray from the can. He did not need much more and just one more good spray would finish this piece. But the can was empty and only air sprayed from the nozzle. This caused some sort of nervous reaction as he shook the can frantically angrily pressed the nozzle, shook the can even more vigorously, then tried to spray in a state of rage that signified hopelessness. Finally he lost hope, threw the empty can across the floor, and broke down and cried. He remained on his knees, in the farthest remote corner of his basement, crying passionately knowing he had hopelessly designated himself to a life of loneliness and he no longer wished to live this way. Bernard would have done anything for Elizabeth to return to his life.

The Eye of The Universe slowly backed away from Bernard as he had an emotional breakdown in the farthest corner of his own basement. As The Eye of The Universe slowly backed away, Bernard grew even fainter in the distance. During this process of slowly backing away from a man in grief, The Eye of The Universe captured what those years of insanity had created. The painted walls, the painted floor, the painted ceiling, numerous canvases perfectly aligned along either wall. The Eye backed up the painted stairs, with even more painted walls, decorated with even more paintings in frames, the diagonal painted ceiling, and into the kitchen with the painted tiles and extraordinary masterpieces painted on every single appliance... including the interior of the waffle iron.

It was, by all means, the greatest piece of artistic brilliance in The History of The Universe. And it had all been the result of somebody awaiting the fulfillment of that void called internal emptiness.

65. The Doobie Brothers
"Take Me In Your Arms"  3:39
San Jose, CA

The 2nd highest paying customer at the Sherwin Williams paint store was Christina Sams, a local artist who had also created a deluxe piece of art. Her piece consisted of a 36 x 72 panoramic landscape of The Fascinating City. She had stumbled upon this place one time by accident, fell in love, and declared that this was the place where miracles happened.

It was not necessarily a detailed replica of the city itself. Some of the buildings were intact, the color coordination was brilliant, and the people depicted in the painting seemed extremely unique. This piece was layered with artistic symbolism that reflected hope, desire, and a willingness to live outside the constraints of normal values. Some say it represented absolute freedom.

This piece sold for $2,879. It was a great day for Christina Sams because she now had the money to fulfill her greatest ambition, and that was to relocate to The Fascinating City and discover what miracles awaited her. Few had ever even heard of this city, many assumed it was fictitious, and even hearing Christina speak about this place constantly only incited disbelief. But they were happy for her; they loved her, and wished her the best.

Throughout the creation of this painting, Christina befriended an associate from Sherwin Williams named Elizabeth. Elizabeth was extremely happy for Christina and overjoyed with the fact that she would be leaving town to fulfilling her dreams of living in The Fascinating City; Christina believed it was true. They had a farewell party for her and many declared that Christina was an up and coming artist on the verge of stardom.

64. Elton John
"Somebody Saved My Life Tonight"  6:42
Captain Fantastic & Brown Dirt Cowboy
London, England

Elizabeth needed a favor from her friend, and insisted to Christina that it might be beneficial. She was worried about Bernard and something told her that she needed to visit his home to ensure that he was moderately intact. Elizabeth wished Christina to accompany her just in case it was an awkward situation.

It had been several years since Elizabeth returned to Bernard's home; Christina was not among the 18 people who knew his name. His house was a standout in the neighborhood as it was artistically painted, blended, shaded, layered, and the mere outside of this home was a work of art. They knocked on the artistically painted door, but there was no answer. Elizabeth once lived there too and had supposedly forgotten a record that she wished to have returned—that was her excuse for checking on an ex-lover whose well-being was a major concern.

They found Bernard crouched in the corner of the basement weeping. He looked up and discovered the two women standing at the other end of the corridor staring at him. Once again, Bernard did not see The Vast Universe, The Great Big World, The Big Country, The Big City... and this time, he didn't even see Elizabeth. All things that had come and gone in this world became voided the moment he saw Christina Sams.

She was astounded, to say the least... astonishing, extravagant, and the sole element of The Universe that mattered. Bernard did not see when she awoke that morning, yawning in the bathroom, in a mess. He never saw her at Sherwin Williams. The first time he saw her was when she was having a moment of revelation and that more than likely heightened her alluring appeal.

Her lifetime revelation began when she visited The Fascinating City, escalated when she sold that painting knowing she would soon be a Fascinating Resident, and exploded into some unknown entity as she walked through Bernard's house and into the basement in a state of awe mesmerized by the work that Bernard had created. It was indeed the greatest piece of artistic brilliance in The History of The Universe, and further appreciated by other artists.

A with that immediate moment their eyes met, their whole worlds changed.

63. Eagles
"Take it to the Limit"  4:47
One of These Nights
Los Angeles, CA

This house reminded her of The Fascinating City of Miracles. Bernard was a Fascinating Resident; he belonged there too. It was a mutual destination and all things that ever happened led them to that basement at that very moment.

He stood up and stared back at Christina, who gazed at him with a smile. She took his hand. Elizabeth smiled and left.

As what was meant unfolds however it was meant to be, Bernard decided to take a risk one more time; the last time and he knew it. Bernard was leaving this place and soon en route to The Fascinating City with the one person who saved his life from despair. They had so much to offer the world now.

He took all of his paintings with him—it filled up one full moving truck. The rest of his belongings were not essential to life. Aside from the paintings, he packed as if he were only embarking on a 3 day vacation; some clothes, a toothbrush, and a few odds and ends. All other material matters could be replaced during the process of starting all over again in a newly found resurgence of glory.

The house sold to an unknown buyer for $250,000 cash.* It was considered a monument and perhaps even a tourist exhibit. 

* Knowledge of this is significant. Somewhere in this world, there had to be documentation of this transaction. Neighbors had seen this house. It was, in fact, there... and had been there all along.

62. Fleetwood Mac
"Over My Head"  3:37
London, England

It was an overwhelming experience arriving to The Fascinating City. All of the residents were unique individuals, possessed some sort of uncanny brilliance, and discussed concepts incomprehensible to ordinary society. 

Bernard and Christina were instantly welcomed and immediately belonged. They were joined with a woman named Erica whom they had met along the way. She had escaped the wrath of an abusive relationship.

Erica came home from the grocery store and her husband tore through the bags searching for a bag of Green Giant frozen white shoe peg corn. "Where the fuck is the white shoe peg corn!"

"I didn't get any."

"Bitch! I'm gonna kill you!"

He attempted to punch her in the face, but she ducked and dashed away. She ran into the bathroom and he tried to break down the door. Once he opened the door, she shot out of it, back into the kitchen, pelted him in the face with a bag of off-brand frozen peas, and ran out the door. She made her way to a gas station and was met by an intriguing couple who were experiencing the ultimate joys of companionship. This made her revise her goals in life.

They were noticeably in love with each other and seemed a perfect match as neither looked like the typical tabloid modeled after television image. You could tell by looking at either of them that they had their own way of conducting affairs other than the typical ways that taught to those who need explanations.

She too became overwhelmed. This was the revitalization of the life she always wanted. Erica would no longer have to settle for convenience as she was not dependent on anybody; she did not require an explanation. Upon arriving she discovered a mysterious unused bag of weed killer lying on the sidewalk as if somebody were giving it away for free. This was her welcoming gift as she sought to do something creative with it. The answers were there waiting just for her.

61. Jefferson Starship
"Miracles"  6:54
Red Octopus
San Francisco, CA

Off in the pastures, there is a magical garden of purple flowers with vigorous green stems. This is where miracles happen and are prone to happen regularly. The definition of a miracle varies from person to person. The cause of these miracles cannot be explained.

It was beside this garden where Bernard and Christina shared their first kiss. There was some sort of component in the air that made them realize that the present was the beginning of an endless future. Whatever obstacles from the past that had plagued them were mysteriously eradicated.

Other blessings seem to occur here often. Predicaments are reasonably resolved, ailments are easily cured, the remedies for all vexations are readily available. These things seem to just happen. Somehow an addled mind may see the path clearly simply by walking in the vicinity. Ideas one had never conceived simply aspire as distortion becomes clarity. You can see, hear, and think with enhanced vivid coherence. Some have implied a 37th dimension of reality.

Mysterious offerings seem to magically appear. One person discovered an illuminated blue crystal ball glowing directly in the pathway before her; she knew exactly what to do with it. People find these things often, as if they were meant for a breathtaking new creation as it pertains to each individual. Nobody had ever explained this, nobody even needed an explanation.

60. Emmylou Harris
"Before Believing"  4:45
Pieces of the Sky
Birmingham, AL/Nashville, TN

There have been reported sightings of beings from other planets. They seemed to have known about this place too although many of them were unsure if the rumors were true. This is not discussed in the outside world. The fact that it cannot be discussed in the outside world is the greatest tragedy of The Universe.

Perhaps the greatest paradox within The Universe is why Earth was chosen for a site of miracles. It seemed peculiar that one of the top few wonders of The Universe would be located in a region populated by a corrupted failing race. Even more puzzling was the notion that the human race failed even though they were equipped with an enchanted sanctuary where miracles happen... a miraculous marvel that can supposedly create the ability to resolve all complications.

Only a select few people in The Universe know the details of this and unfortunately I am not one of them. However, I have various colleagues working with some important people residing in the most essential planes of The Universe attempting to decipher all of the details regarding this bizarre situation. As of now, we can only go on speculation.

From what I have gathered so far, it is only on this particular spectral plane in which this cannot be discussed. As we all know, there are numerous Parallel Universes in which the worlds have played out significantly different than what we as failed humans have encountered on this particular spectral plane. Supposedly in all other Parallel Planes of The Universe, The Fascinating City is one of the most popular attractions in The Universe and boasts numerous visitors from all galaxies each and every day. Furthermore, residents of Earth have also visited other Fascinating Cities located in other parts of The Universe.

Here, however, something terrible has happened.

59. War
"Lotus Blossom"  4:04
Why Can't We Be Friends
Los Angeles, CA

Ugh! I am so miserable and depressed right now. I hate my job and I hate my boss. Unfortunately it is not entirely work related. This is my 2nd job, just a couple nights a week, and I technically don't even need it; I only took it to have something to do and meet new people. 

Based on the characteristics in which I was born, I am considered a male... and that supposedly means that I have to possess certain characteristics. The manager of my 2nd job is a woman... and that means that she is supposed to possess certain attributes as well. Due to the fact that we are co-workers, she is the manager, I am but an associate, and there are also certain regulations that fall in accordance with the governing laws of company policy.

Sadly, I am deeply attracted to her. Well, I was... but I'm not anymore. Now I hate her. The reason I hate her is because she hates me. She is such a bitch to me that I can't even stand to be around her anymore. In my opinion, she is this mean to me for what I consider nothing at all.

I have never expressed or revealed any sort of physical attraction to her; therefore she has no knowledge of this. In fact, I have never said anything to her that wasn't business related. One day I simply asked her a question about work that I was unsure about and she snapped at me. She frequently cusses at me, seems angrily bothered anytime I say anything to anybody, and has even been physically abusive. On one instance I was talking to another associate, just joking around, and she told me to shut the fuck up and shoved me into the customer service desk... nearly breaking my wrist. And on another occasion, during the nightly meeting, I was discussing something that happened earlier in the day with a customer and she grabbed me, forcefully covered my mouth with her hand so that I couldn't speak, and then claimed that was the most peaceful moment of her life just because I wasn't talking.

Admittedly I do have what is considered unconventional mannerisms and some claim that I have abnormal thought processes. However, most people enjoy these attributes and think that I am amusing. As a result, I have enhanced these principles and have the ability to make people laugh. All of my other co-workers find me entertaining and claim that I am the most fun person they had ever worked with... this is my claim to fame and I am permitted something.

However, due to the fact that I cross boundaries and have no restrictions on free will, I will occasionally rub people the wrong way, offend some, shock others, and my mere presence will simply annoy the living shit out of some people. I cannot help the way that I am, it’s just how I was born, this is part of how life works, and I have accepted the fact that I will be genuinely hated by a certain percentage of regular society.

I have developed the ability to identify those who will not appreciate my sense of humor, disagree with my beliefs, and perhaps wish to see me dead. Also, I have been able to identify those who will be intrigued with my perception on life and those who are also like minded individuals with similar behavioral traits.

The instance in which I was the most inaccurate was with Carrie, my current manager. I not only assumed she would be a certain ally, but I thought that she was even "The One" because she looked exactly like the soul mate I had seen in all of my dreams. She turned out to be the complete opposite and for this, I am deeply saddened. One, because I still have no one in my love life; and two, it sucks to admit to being this wrong about anything.

58. Barry White
"I'll Do For You Anything You Want Me To"  6:08
Just Another Way to Say I Love You
Galveston, TX (1944)-Los Angeles, CA (2003)

Even though I was but a part-time employee, I was there before her and had already developed a reputation with the other employees except one—Christy the actual had manager of the store. Carrie was a transfer from another store and technically not first in command. When I first saw Carrie, I was immediately enamored with her and vowed that I would do anything for her both at work and outside in the real world.

The first "incident" we had was when I had a question about a product display that I was building. I had asked for manager assistance regarding this display and all three of them showed up together: Christy, Carrie, and Cara... so difficult to keep these three intact. Because I was so infatuated with Carrie, I felt that I needed to appear cute and charming so that maybe she would be eagerly willing to boss me around and I could possibly become the managerial darling.

This particular project required one product and we did not have it. Furthermore, it was a shitty product that I was certain would never sell. We had an ample supply of a different product that did not have a precise location where it belonged at the time. I simply explained the situation to the three ladies and asked if I could make a substitution for the two products... and did so with what I considered a charming smile and discussed the circumstances in a manner that would be both informative and entertaining so that I would not be considered boring.

After I related the situation, the three women simply stood there and stared at me awkwardly and did not say a word. Carrie stared at me angrily and after a prolonged silence responded with: 

"What the fuck did you just say?
Christy apparently had no idea what I was talking about either and was clueless as to what I had just conveyed to them. Cara laughed, she at least heard me. She related what I had just said and Carrie retorted with: 
"Ok, I don't give a fuck what you do... just do something.
And they all three walked away. As they were departing I heard Carrie say to them, "that kids got serious issues there."

At first I was bothered by this whole ordeal, especially being referred to as a "kid" knowing that I was probably older than she was. But, I let it slide and took the blame for it. Maybe I was trying too hard to seem charming and the routine failed. Plus, women have always enjoyed ganging up on me and displaying harsh acts of cruelty when together. It was fine, and I still vowed to be unconditionally nice to her.

And I was extremely nice to her. I greeted her with a pleasant smile and happily did everything she wanted me to do. When she was the closing manager, I put forth my most valiant effort to do the best job possible just to please her and hopefully improve the store ratings while she was in charge. This was to no avail as she was constantly unpleasant towards me, rude, and constantly giving me threatening looks for what I considered no reason at all. Furthermore, I constantly had to repeat myself whenever I spoke to her and she acted as if she did not understand one single thing that I ever said to her.

Then I stopped caring about trying to impress her. I was still well liked by the rest of the staff and just continued being myself around them... which consisted of making funny comments and discussing music, different philosophies, and sharing ideas about off-kilter topics. It seemed to bother her that I was so well liked by the rest of the employees. This should not have been the case because I would have done anything she asked me to do.

One night she finally heard me and this happened after I was no longer concerned with her random outbursts of rage directed towards me (I didn't care about her period.) Somebody had asked about a clothing product designed to conceal "muffin tops" and I cheerfully responded that I had a muffin top. In my opinion I had developed a muffin top and was excited about it because I was considerably underweight. After we closed at the meeting, one of the girls mentioned my alleged muffin top and wanted to see it. So I raised my shirt and exposed what I considered my muffin top... and they all stared at me as if I had something severely wrong with me.

"OK, you most definitely do NOT have a muffin top," responded the woman who asked to see it.

I was dejected because I wanted to have a muffin top and asked why she had to burst my bubble... in a manner in which we were all having fun. She proceeded to say that I was too skinny, etc. and I responded with:

"If a little retarded kid came in here and said 'I'm really smart, I took the trash out' you wouldn't be like, no Eddie, you're not smart... you're a fucking retard."

People laughed, albeit a bit shocked by the blatant display of tastelessness but relevant to the point I was proving so it was borderline appropriate even though it was the harshest possible comparison. Carrie scolded, shouted my name, and gave me look of disapproval and said "seriously!"

So I offered another comparison... 

"OK then, if somebody came in here and said they lost 10 pounds with their new diet you wouldn't be like, sure fooled me... you're still a fat ass fucking slob as far as I can tell."

Carrie yanked me by collar, pulled me over to her with her hands violently clamped on my shoulder shoving me downwards and declared: "you need to seriously shut the fuck up. Just shut the fuck up and stop talking! Period."

And I did everything she wanted me to do. After that, I stopped speaking to her. In fact, I didn't utter a single word to anybody on nights that we had to work together. It created an uncomfortable tension between us when we worked together, but it was what she requested and I did just that. I shut the fuck up... just for her.

57. Status Quo
"Down Down"  5:25
On the Level
London, England

I don't know why I hated him so much. Well, I do know why, but it is not easily explained... or maybe I just don't like to admit it. Truth of the matter is, is that the little shithead drove me absolutely fucking crazy to the extreme that I could not concentrate.

Everything he did was cute. I hated admitting this because I hate being a girl... I'm not a typical girl and not impressed with stupid shit that men do. That said, I do not like the typical shit that women look for in men... I don't like masculine, I don't like beards, I don't like muscular guys, I hate douches, and I am not overly enamored with a guy if he happens to play in a band or has a lot of money. Domineering guys are the worst because I am not willing to relinquish control to any guy and I sure as fuck will not tolerate having to answer to one.

Kevin was some scrawny little fuckhead who worked part time at the store where I was a manager. Managers are not permitted to date associates and therefore I never viewed any employee as a potential anything other than somebody I work with. However, I always had a thing for skinny boys and I am attracted to odd behavior so long as it is not stupid, annoying, or forced as a means of trying to get attention. In other words, I am not easily impressed.

Everything Kevin did aroused me. It sucked because he was an associate. It sucked even worse because the way I felt about him made me feel like a stupid girl with a crush on a stupid boy. I suppose he constantly did cute things but I could not concentrate on anything he ever said because I was too busy scoping out all of the rest of him. Finally I was driven so far out of my mind that I ordered him to shut the fuck up for good and I shoved him down.

The little fucker refused to even speak to me after that. Somewhere along the lines I had told Christy and Cara that I hated him and if he was my boyfriend I would abuse him... physically, verbally, and I accidentally confessed, sexually. All I wanted to do was sexually abuse him and force him to do whatever the fuck I wanted because he was so fucking cute that I hated him.

One night we had a gathering where we all went out to a bar after work. It was our 2nd after work outing this week. The first one was at my house and the little bastard showed up for the party because somebody made him... come to find out he had no intentions on coming because it was at my house and he hated me. I obviously couldn't keep my eyes off of him, could not concentrate on anything, and finally arranged everything so that I could have him all alone in my bedroom.

That particular night, I bombed everything. Cara had left, but said she would return to drive him home... bastard didn't even have a car. I called Cara and said that she didn't have to come back and that I would take Kevin home... and I didn't tell Kevin this. Instead, after everybody left, I dragged him into my room and made him lay on my bed. All I did was stare at him and apparently this made him uncomfortable. He kept trying to talk to me, but I did not understand anything he was saying because I was too busy concentrating. Finally I had to make him leave because I desperately needed to masturbate.

Ever since I first saw him I masturbated several times each day thinking about him.

Then came that gathering at the bar. I'm not sure exactly what happened but four other people were arguing with him. Apparently they were bothering some girl, Kevin stood up for her, she bailed, and the four of them were threatening to kick his ass. I was actually pissed off at Kevin over this because I felt that the stupid little prick couldn't even defend himself and probably said something outrageous that pissed them off. Regardless, I grabbed him out of that mess, threatened those four other mother fuckers, took Kevin's side, and dragged him back to the table unharmed.

He started talking about some more shit and I couldn't take it anymore. I just shook my head and went outside to smoke. All night I had been resisting the temptation to grab him and rape him and spent the whole night checking out his hot little body that he seemed to constantly be flaunting to tease my arousal.

Christy came out and joined me and asked what was the matter. I told her that I hated being a girl; and I hated feeling girly feelings because I had a thing for some boy. She told me that it was OK, men do this too, that I wasn't being feminine, and I could utilize my own personal domineering methods and buy him a drink and take him home.

So I bought a beer and handed it to him as I rolled my insisting that the bartender gave it to me by accident. Finally I sucked it up and asked if I could take him home. He allowed me to.

When we got to his apartment, rather than simply drop him off, I followed him inside. We went into his room, sat on his couch, and I didn't pay a single bit of attention to anything he said. I focused on the task at hand and was preparing to get down to business. I took off my belt while he was talking about something as I was preparing myself for easy access when I went in for the kill. He looked over at me and I had already unbuttoned my shirt with my pants down fondling myself. Before he had a chance to say anything, I pounced on him, pinned his wrists behind his head, removed whatever articles of clothing were required for what I needed access to, and forcefully had my way with him right there on his own couch.

Yes, I took him to his own house and aggressively fucked him in his own home without receiving permission and without even having been given the slightest hint that he wanted anything more than but for me to get out of his house. He was mine, and I totally dominated him for well over an hour. It seemed like he just had good stamina, which simply prolonged my pleasure as he simply allowed me to do anything I wanted. But then he claimed that he wasn't getting any enjoyment out of it whatsoever. Fucker.

56. The Pretty Things
"My Song"  5:09
Savage Eye
London, England

It's not that I didn't enjoy it, but she wasn't letting me do anything. She looked what I considered incredibly sexy and there were things that I wanted to do as well. Plus, I wanted her to feel special and not as if she was forcing me to do anything. Sometimes I hate being a guy with certain aspirations and I definitely did not see her as just some girl with major sex appeal. I liked her for everything else, and that included everything, including the fact that I was sexually attracted to her.

After I told her that I wasn't enjoying myself we took a break and went outside to smoke. She acted apologetic but seemed irate with me at the same time. I never really explained myself, but I invited her back inside my apartment and we resumed our place on the couch.

This time, I put all the moves on her. I caressed the back of her hair, kissed her softly on the neck while I reached my hands around her and unbuttoned her blouse myself. She eased up and I sensed that she was being fully aroused as I passionately removed her shirt and unfastened her bra. Finally, I was able to do the things I wanted. 

Just as I had expected from the first day I saw her, Carrie had what I considered the perfect body and I wanted to sensually explore it in its entirety. As I licked her nipples, I unzipped her pants and she arched her back allowing me to pull them off of her. She was wearing black stockings that were transparent enough to make her beautifully shaped legs, pretty feet, and elegantly painted toe nails. I rubbed her legs while I licked her belly button, kissed her pelvis, and slowly pulled off her stockings. I made sweet love to her because I wanted her to feel special. After all, it wasn't long ago when I declared that I would do anything she wanted me to do.

She allowed me to do everything that I wanted, but not for nearly as long as I let her do what she wanted to me. After a short while and a few position changes, she was lying on her back, fully aroused, fully relaxed, and after another orgasm, she insisted that she hated me. I told her that she hated me because a she was a stupid worthless dumb hoe.

Following that remark, she kicked me in the face with those beautiful feet of hers and jumped back upright and tried to attack me. I ran out of the room and she chased after me, quickly caught me, pinned me down on the floor, and once again had her way with me. When she finally (fucking 
finally— Jesus this took forever) finished pleasuring herself at my expense, we migrated back to the couch and sat back and relaxed. The stupid bitch lit up a cigarette in my house and just flicked the ashes all over the floor. While she was smoking, she called a multitude of insulting names, claimed I was the stupidest dumbest mother fucker she had ever met, and that she was only smoking in the house to conceal how badly I smelled. She finished her cigarette, threw the butt in the toilet, returned to the couch, and continued cussing at me for several minutes.

When she finally stopped cursing at me with every possible crude tasteless insult known to humanity, there was a brief silence, and the two of us laughed non-stop for nearly half an hour. We both had tears in our eyes from laughing so hard and we could not stop laughing. We even fell asleep laughing as she stayed over and we slept on the couch with her arm around me. 

The next morning she said I was the best girl she ever slept with and continued making fun of me for being "girly" for the way I prepared for work. My only retaliation was to call her a butchy dyke and she sexually abused me in my own bathroom. I suppose I finally won her over, but at a great expense.

55. Gilberto Gil
"Retiros Espirituais"  4:53
Salvador, Brazil

Once it became known that Kevin and I was a couple, we were both fired from the store. Fuck it; neither of us liked working at that store anyway. It's a shame how the capitalist society will allow the buying and selling of useless products interfere with true love.

Come to think of it, we didn't even like this whole town. The one thing we had in common was that all of our friends thought we were weird... albeit "in a cool way." Shithead Kevin will never admit it, but the fact of the matter is, yea, we're that fucking awesome. Nobody ever has to explain anything to us and we can create dimensions other people can only dream about.

Supposedly there is a place for people like us. One of my friends who I hadn't seen awhile recently moved to this place and had found true love of her own. Her new dude supposedly went ape shit at Sherwin Williams paint store and painted 10 zillion extravagant art pieces which included every dimension of his entire house. We both wanted to meet this dude. Despite the fact that he is supposedly this awesome and creative, Christina is potentially even better.

So we packed up our shit, drove past the store just to shout insults at it, and embarked to The Fascinating City. It was fascinating by all means. We belonged there and should have been there forever. Bernard and Christina made an awesome couple as was this other couple we met... two guys named Paul and Lyle. 

They were an odd couple. Not that they were gay, it was just odd that both of them were far more masculine than Kevinthat little sissy bitch that I was in love with. But the funny thing about them was that they both had the same ex-girlfriend and became a happy loving couple over a bag of weed killer that ex-girlfriend had requested both of them to buy.

As for the weed killer, some other girl found it and filled a flower pot entirely with powerful weed killer... and now the world's largest and most unusual weed grows out of that flower pot. Some cool ass shit takes place here.

By the end of the night, the very first night of our new beginning, we felt more in-tune with our inner eccentricities that it created some sort of harmonious balance with every single aspect of our molecular structural being. I had never been happier, never more comfortable, never more in love, and never this vitalized. 

I never dreamed that it would also be our last day.

54. Roy Ayers Ubiquity
"Time and Space"  4:11
A Tear to a Smile
Los Angeles, CA

When the Earth on this particular plane was formed, organisms such as plants and animals were already living on it. It came equipped with all the essential means of survival including an Enchanted Sanctuary of Miracles in which all things within The Universe could achieve intellectual advancement.

Survivors from both of the destroyed planets, as well as from Mars, migrated to Earth where the one section of land had been divided into Seven Continents. As a result, many of the distraught refugees knew nothing of the Enchanted Sanctuary of Miracles.

An impact that caused two planets to be demolished completely would naturally have some adverse side effects. The disintegration and the particles from the remaining planets disrupted the atmospheric balance of this portion of The Universe and created an unknown affliction called death.

Looking back, all those affected by the planetary collision should have evacuated The Solar System and dispersed elsewhere in The Universe until the harmful components of the impact had been alleviated. However, it is rumored that those already residing near The Sanctuary of Miracles were so fond of their life, love, and happiness they had achieved in this beautiful world that they weren't willing to leave. Whereas those who were tragically left lingering in those contaminated areas infected with the poisonous gas had no knowledge of The Enchanted Sanctuary of Miracles, those leading the blissful life had no knowledge of the outside world corrupted with poisonous gas.

The cure would have been for the remainder of the population to simply visit The Enchanted Sanctuary of Miracles and all problems would have been resolved. However, by the time those entrenched on those other continents reached The Enchanted Sanctuary of Miracles, they had already formed The Ruling Class and were corrupted by superficial elements created by them, such as fictitious religious practices, money, and propaganda. In fact, their first encounter with The Enchanted Sanctuary of Miracles, they attempted to murder all of the residents by afflicting the entire city with polio and other diseases contained on blankets they employed as deceptive gifts.

Miraculously, nobody died from the diseases. It was the settlers who developed small pox, and then figured out a way to cure it themselves... they even made brilliant artistic performances starring people who were stricken with small pox. The settlers also became citizens and everybody eventually developed small pox just to have a comedy scene in one of the performances... this lasted until something more innovative came about... approximately two weeks.

It was a most bizarre occurrence how everlasting friendships and love affairs developed after the heinous attempt to murder the entire civilization. Soon, all of that was forgotten. Life was radically different than other places and they never adopted the policies and procedures practiced by those had been conquered by the ruling class. The Enchanted Sanctuary of Miracles was never under rule of The Roman Empire.

Unfortunately, a select group of people viewed those settlers who joined the colony as cowardly, weak, and failures. They had a different quest. This colony was worthless unless it adopted the policies, converted to Christians, and established the currency to pay the oppressors who were taking over soon.

53. Cortex
"Prélude à 'Go Round'"  4:00
Troupeau Bleu
Paris, France

The human race on this plane is a combination of two species from two destroyed planets. They did have the Enchanted Sanctuary of Miracles at their disposal. However, due to the fact that this species was spawned from destruction and also had a poisonous gas lingering in the atmosphere, an experiment needed to be conducted to assure this was a worthy species for Intergalactic Intervention.

There shall be no interference with free will. Therefore, this experiment would ultimately conclude what would prevail among the two species that comprised the human race. Since their incarnation on the new planet, the two species had always been in conflict with one another. This was the result of the poisonous gas. They assumed that the powers of Enchanted Sanctuary of Miracles would eventually provide the knowledge to implement the miracle required to disarm the poisonous gas. Once this had been implemented, the two species would live together forever in peace and harmony... and proceed to be an influential factor in the remainder of The Universe. This harmonious race could resolve all Universal Conflict as the pristine host of The Enchanted Sanctuary of Miracles.

If not, the race would be deemed a failure; corrupt, evil, unworthy of Intergalactic Intervention, and finally their miserable society would become extinct. At worst, they would eventually die off and then be replaced by a different species to host the official home site of The Enchanted Sanctuary of Miracles.

It was a matter of time to see which side would prove victorious.

52. Lula Côrtes e Zé Ramalho
"Não Existe Molhado Igual Ao Pranto"  7:31
Recife, Brazil

LEVEL A1 RED ALERT: The Enchanted Sanctuary of Miracles has been destroyed!!!

THE Emergency Alarm sounded at The Grand Scheme of Things Board Committee. A major wonder of The Universe had been destroyed by means of an explosion. Those employed with The Grand Scheme of Things Board Committee had to research these bizarre elements of this planetary subspecies and had no clue what a "ruling party" even was.

It was worse than anybody could have speculated. Not only did they fail to disarm the poisonous gas, they downright demolished the one thing that could have saved them. Originally it was decided that there would be no intervention and a different species would simply replace the human race once they finally died off. However, The Enchanted Sanctuary of Miracles was essential to The Universe, it needed to be saved... therefore, The Grand Scheme of Things Board Committee had to get involved.

One lovely night, just out of the blue and without warning, the government of The Great Empire attacked The Fascinating City. They sent a powerful missile into the center of the city and the impact was devastating. All of the beautiful houses were demolished; all of the structures were leveled; and all of those unique residents were violently killed and perished into flames. The aftermath of the gigantic explosion ravaged the entire area with yet another poisonous chemical. When it all was finished, The Fascinating City, AKA- The Enchanted Sanctuary of Miracles, was completely obliterated and transformed into a desolate wasteland.

All records of the existence of this wonderful place were destroyed, all evidence was vacated, and The Fascinating City was completely omitted from the history books. They even demolished one house in a particular neighborhood; a house that had been painted entirely with the most extravagant art ever seen... they claimed that there had been complaints from neighbors and a new city ordinance was passed. Mysteriously, nobody ever recalled seeing this house, and the 18 people who knew Bernard were never questioned.

Earlier that day, The Fascinating City welcomed several new residents. There was love, livelihood, and innovative brilliance surrounding the entire area. It appeared that the miracles were working and the gas would subside. Now, it was all gone, and they were all dead, buried in the ruins of the blackened pits of the desolate wasteland.

This planet has hereby been condemned; the human race has been declared a failure.

51. Mike Oldfield
"Part Two"  13:55
Reading, England

Although it seemed like an ingenious plot, taking over the world and controlling the population was quite simple. The human race as a species is vulnerable to conditions of the climate and what it is considered its own natural habitat—The Planet Earth. They required food, clothing, and shelter in order to survive. All we had to do was exploit this vulnerability in order to rule them.

After we organized a system called government, we brutally conquered every unsuspecting commune across the globe. This was quite simple because we were simple minded humans unconcerned with ethics or cultural advancement. Rather than concentrate on complex theories or create something beneficial to subdue vulnerability, we devised weapons to instill fear that we may conquer them easily. 

Once we brutally massacred any threat to our plots to rule the world, we convinced them that a system of government was essential for protection against whatever enemy we had targeted for our next annexation to our empire. In order for them to have this protection against this enemy, they had to pay us, their governors, their superiors, material assets for the essentials for survival... food, clothing, and shelter. Within time, we had owned every single piece of property and in order for anybody to acquire any of the essential needs; they had to pay us their money.

It was necessary for us to ensure this system shall never malfunction because it is our quest to control everything. Simply owning all of the property was not good enough. This too was easy because people are so stupid that they will believe anything.

First we convinced them that women were stupid and the weaker of the two genders. We began this conditioning process in the early stages of infancy so that girls would accept their role in society of being too stupid and too weak to accomplish anything of worthy note. This created a dependency on our system of government to further protect them.

Furthermore, we also exploited the vulnerability of the human reproductive system. It is instilled since childhood that a girl will not be able to attract the men she is now dependent upon unless she looks a certain way. We created a diagram for what this appearance is supposed to look like and strategically placed these guidelines in every tabloid magazine at our establishments in which the essential food is bought and sold. By placing such a strong emphasis on the appearance of a woman, this will create a need for her to buy all of our products... our cosmetics, fragrances, clothing in whatever fashion we indicate is in style for that particular part of the season (which by the way, is pretty much the same as it always is), and whatever we say she needs to decorate her household with to make her seem all the more alluring. 

Any woman who does not conform to these standards, or fulfills her natural reproductive desires for personal enjoyment just like the men we are exploiting shall be delegated as classless with monikers such as hellion, witch, slut, bitch... anything to belittle her for behaving in such nature. She is to behave exactly like we have outlined in the tabloid magazines or else she is going to go to another place that we created... Hell.

In order to attract a woman, a decent woman like in the tabloids, a man must purchase all the essential products that we say he should have to buy. We placed a need on expensive diamonds (dirty rocks found in the ground), extravagant cars, fancy suits, and certain foods that we claimed were of better quality and thus more expensive. In order for a woman to feel beautiful, which is the only way she will ever achieve anything because this is what we instilled in her mind since birth, she absolutely must have all of these products. This is the definition of a successful bimbo. Our television set will instruct them daily on what products they need to purchase from our corporations in order to accomplish this.

And men are even dumber than women. They will do exactly everything we say just to have sufficient income that we are taking anyway. He will obey all of our commands, become whatever corporate conformist we want  him to be, just to have the money to buy our products for that no good bitch we taught to be a dim witted clingy dependent beauty queen ever since her peasant father fucked that nasty slut mother of hers and the two behaved in accordance with all of our standards just to protect that miserable little bitch ever since she dropped out of that precious cunt onto that cheap bed with the uncomfortable sheets.... we earned nearly $50,000 that day just for her to even be born on those sheets, into our wonderful world that we rule and control and dominate! (And has been deemed a failure by The Grand Scheme of Things Board Committee.) We'll gladly kill that little bitch if she doesn't pay her taxes.

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