Part 1: Dominicus Humanus
Part 2: Hostage Situation
Part 3: Lorenzo & The George Foreman Grills
Part 4: 902 Staghorn
Part 5: Plots Against the Pattern
Part 6: September 9th, 2001
Part 7: September 10th, 2001
Part 8: And Everything Shall Remain Exactly the Same
Part VII: September 10th, 2001
Welcome to 2001, the year an event or two may or may not have happened. To hear this first selection of songs, press play on the image below:
September 10, 2001
50. MF Doom
"Arrow Root" 3:46
Special Herbs and Spices Vol. 1
Today was exactly like yesterday. The sun came up. The Earth will rotate fully around it's axis in approximately 24 hours; it will have completed roughly 1/365th of its orbit around the sun. On 5th and Average, the pattern began just as it always does. Some places were filled with festive activities, some were able to enjoy them, some did not. There was one new discovery, numerous struggles, a couple different buildings that had been completed. For the most part, every person on Earth woke up, got out of bed to the tune of an alarm, took a shower, got dressed, went to work, came home, did some things around the house, ate food, went back to bed. Many longed to do this exact same feat, but with somebody else.
49. Daniel Johnston
"Dream Scream" 5:42
I died today. There was this girl that I liked, I thought I loved her. I had been calling her, asking her out. We had hung out a few times, I was ready to settle down and be serious with her, it had been three weeks. I still remember my smile, how I was so happy to see her when I did. I went up to her door, greeted her, she smiled back. Then she broke me the news, she was not interested in me, that we shouldn't see each other anymore- she just can't. I apologized for whatever I did, I was confused, hurt, did not understand. She walked back inside, and I was dumbfounded. I got in my truck, wondering why she was acting that way. I just drove around thinking. Must not have seen the road closed signs, I was contemplating a love letter when my face smashed against the steering wheel.
48. Beautiful Skin
"Current Time" 3:32
New York, NY
I was sound asleep when it happened, wasn't much I could do really. My neighbor moved into to town, from some other city. He had been struggling with an episode that happened just before he left, he had killed somebody- it was in self-defense, the person was going to rape his girlfriend. Although he wasn't guilty of any crimes, he still struggled with it. And so, me being a man of God, the minister at my church, I invited him over, so we could talk, maybe I could help with the words of the Lord, The Bible. I awoke this morning, abruptly, he was in my home with a bat. He struck me with right here, over my head. It hurt, I dropped to the floor, blood was coming from my head. He then hit me again, I don't recall feeling that, but then another. Next thing I knew I was sitting in the office, the fella had gotten angry with God, or assumed the first killing was put in place by God for him to become a serial killer. He beat my wife and kids to death too.
47. The Detroit Cobras
"Let's Forget About the Past" 2:47
Love, Life, and Leaving
Randy was the boy that I really I loved, I just never had any chance to show it. Once I got drunk, I behaved strangely, couldn't help it, but I loved that Jagermeister- and that Randy. I had been calling him, begging him to take me back. But, he won't. He says he has somebody else now. Fuck somebody else. I woke up this morning, put on my skimpiest skirt, most revealing shirt, fish net stockings, and I drove over to Randy's house with a chainsaw. I busted in his door, tried to kiss him, but he ran away. He pushed me away. That's when I started the chainsaw. Randy took off running out of the house, I chased after him with the chainsaw. The manual does not give proper guidelines for chasing somebody down with a chainsaw, but, there should be some indication that it is not wise to chase somebody down carrying a chainsaw while wearing heels. He dashed across the street, I darted after him. My heel got stuck in a brick, I slipped, the chainsaw went up into the air and into my back. I died from eternal bleeding.
46. Guided By Voices
"Chasing Heather Crazy" 2:53
I was stalking Heather. That morning, I showed up at her door- with roses from the florist on 5th and Average. She was walking through the park, I popped behind some bushes, with a diamond ring from the best jeweler on 5th and Average. Heather went to work, I crawled out from underneath her dress with a box of the finest chocolates. She got home, I was already inside, as I draped a fancy table cloth over her table and presented her with the feast that I had prepared on a silver platter. She went to the courts to get a restraining order on me, I leaped up from behind the counter, with a great big snugly teddy bear that said "I love you." And she smashed me over the head with nicest cast iron skillet from the Bed, Bath, & Beyond over on 5th & Average, killing my monkey ass
45. The Clientele
"Monday's Rain" 5:05
I woke up this morning in the hospital. Apparently I had a stroke last night. All I can remember was this intense pain, then I blacked out. Here I am, in a hospital bed. I can not move one side of my body, it all feels numb to me- the attempts to move my arm is driving me crazy. The doctor says it will never be the same. And the pain came back again, the same as last night. It hurt so bad, I yelled for a doctor, but I don't know how long it took them to come. I was 87. Video analysis indicates that I was not that important anymore.
"Paris Sous La Neige" 3:26
Another Mellow Spring
I woke up feeling cheerful, it was a new beginning. When the alarm sounded, the intro to this song, I jumped out of my bed, fully clothed, suit, tie, shoes on and everything. First thing I did was open the window, enjoying the day already. As the music played, I sang; I sang out the window, "do you think it's gonna snow", my neighbors sang back, "I don't know", we did a whole song and dance routine. I climbed out on the window ledge and slid down the gutter pipe, like a fireman's pole. As I walked the street, my neighbors all followed me, as we sang happily. "Yes, I'm gonna be a star, and the sun is gonna shine on me." And the sun shun right down on me, into my eyes, I couldn't see, and life just faded. Cause of death: unknown. I was 31.
"You Make No Bones" 5:02
If You Happy With You Need Do Nothing
We all went out on the porch and played some music. I sang, Bobby played the harmonica, Eddie brought his acoustic guitar, Danny those old time drums, playing with paintbrushes. All of the neighbors came out and joined us, Alice a fiddle. We were all jamming out on the porch, neighbors came over and watched. Nobody knows even where they came from, but a pack of wild hippos sprang from out of nowhere, and tried to eat us. Some of them got away, but before I could not do anything. First, the damn thing chomped off my leg, I remember screaming in agony. I struggled to not go into its mouth, I tried to fight the best I could, but it was too big. It ate me, devoured me...my family had to follow the thing around with a casket behind its ass just so I could have a proper burial. I was 30.
"Good Comrades Go to Heaven" 3:39
Low Kick and Hard Bop
I blame Mable. I blame Margaret. The two ladies bickered in the afterlife, the ominous narrator walked up to the audience, showed a video screen of the two women. It was a nice day. Mable was mowing her yard. Margaret was mowing her yard. Music played in the background. The time came for them to mow the property line, at the exact same time. Simultaneously, Mable ran over a rock that shot out of the mower's chute, Margaret did the same. There were two loud noises as the rocks hit the blades, a deep thud as the rocks hit their heads, and at the same time, both women dropped dead. Cause of death: trauma to the head. Both women were 49, born the exact same day.
Black Market Music
As I reflect on how my life was, it is obvious that I should have been born in a different time and place altogether. The lifestyle of the community was wretched, 5th & Average was not my scene. I did not have any friends whatsoever. While they were out having fun, I sat in my room, all alone. Even though I could keep myself amused, I loathed that they were having fun, doing the stupid crap they find entertaining. I set my project down and looked out the window, I wondered how I got myself into this state. Then I realized it, the people upstairs were noisy, banging on the floor like elephants, they represented the demise of society. I hated them. Fat sons of bitches. Turned out, they really had elephants, and the floor caved in, on top of my floor, on top of me. Cause of death: squashed by an elephant. Age: 26
40. New Order
"Run Wild" 3:58
We actually wanted to die. Our fate lie elsewhere other than in this pattern. The two of us never fit in here anyway, and both of us were in so much legal and financial trouble over petty issues, that we were never going to come out of it and be able to maintain our natural persona. We had made both several attempts to leave, security put us on probation, we had to stay here. So, Brandi robbed a $28,416 George Foreman Grill, with intentions of destroying it. Once I got there, she was being chased by security. I set up a snare, helped her get free. That was the moment we realized we were in love. She held out her hand, I took it. Security had us surrounded. We both said fuck it. She flailed the George Foreman Grill round and around by the electrical chord- that was threatening enough. We were embracing in a passionate kiss when they opened fire, and now we are free.
39. The Moldy Peaches
"Jorge Ragulu" 3:05
New York, NY
Today was just like every other day. I woke up in the morning, same time as always. I put on my itchy uniform, ugly yellow shirt. I went to work. I had a girlfriend. We went to get a bite to eat. We went to the movies. It was the exact same routine, every day. This was my pattern. For whatever reason, I lost interest in this daily pattern. While singing my happy song, I made a noose, tied it around the banister of the ceiling, climbed on a chair, put the noose around my neck, hopped off the chair. I was 37.
38. My Morning Jacket
"If It Smashed Down" 5:28
People lived and died each day. That too was had become part of the pattern. No matter who died, at what age, no matter how bizarre the cause or how tragic, the pattern continued. Some deaths made headline news, the commentators all gave the exact same opinions, it was what he was paying them to do. While the pattern remained consistent, there was a growing lack of support for it. Hatred of the pattern was on the rise. Even though the majority still followed it, commenced a group who refrained from participation. They stayed on the outside, eagerly anticipating the day it would crash. These people were referred to as social misfits by the commentators.
37. The Rapture
"The Jam" 4:32
Out of the Races and Onto the Tracks
New York, NY
It would appear that some people contemn the pattern? Sir, why is it that you have turned against the pattern? I hate Democrats, I hate Republicans, I hate all sects of religion, I hate security, I hate TV, I hate commercials, I hate commentators, I hate announcers, I hate the opinions expressed wherein, I hate all the stupid shows, and I hate how people model themselves after TV, including the politicians. The discrepancy of the haves and have nots exist only with the currency on their paychecks, in terms of intellect, not much difference. The shop owners are stupid, and so are all the customers. Fuck 'em, let it sink.
"Have a Nice Day" 3:25
Just Enough Education to Perform
I went to Target today, I had to get something for a project I was working on. I don't really mind Target, the prices are decent, but I do not go there regularly. It took me forever to find it, I walked around the entire store. They happened to be out of it, so I had to go to a different Target. I did not mind, I needed to be out anyway. I get to the other Target, and it is exactly the same as the other Target. All the same people were working in all the same spaces, and all of the customers appeared exactly the same, pushing carts, dressed the same, looking for similar items. I knew I had gone to a different store because this Target had the item I was looking for. So I cruised over to 5th & Average to get something else, and all the exact same people that were at both Targets was at every single shop on 5th & Average.
35. Rainer Maria
"Thought I Was" 3:16
A Better Version of Me
I used to love the pattern, the streets, my job, the Dominicus Humanus manual. There were several shows on TV I watched, although I did not get that interested in them. I only did all of this because this is what I was taught to do since birth. My parents and teachers told me this was the way of life, to believe in this, and that my reward for all these accomplishments will be more currency, which is the only thing any person should ever strive for. Gradually, I began to lose interest, questions began to arise, and the answers were not pleasant. I had doubts about religion, the governor did not seem trustworthy, and soon all the products that define mainstream no longer had any appeal to me. I hated those tabloid magazines. I sought a different way of life, looked for new friends, discovered new music, stopped going to church, and I left 5th and Average. I don't make as much money now. But do I miss it, (shakes her head), no, not at all really.
34. Ted Leo & The Pharmacists
"Stove By a Whale " 7:59
The Tyranny of Distance
I had my opinions, but I kept them to myself. My friends, family, and co-workers all supported the pattern, it was all they knew, it was what they were taught. I do not fault them personally for it, they are nice people, just on a different plane than I am. Today, I was in the mood to explore, so I ventured off 5th and Average, and discovered a whole new world- where I belonged. It was new to me, but it had always been here. There was not always blind support for the pattern. The disgust intensified and became more prevalent in 1967 with the emergence of The Velvet Underground...Bob Dylan loathed the pattern, Alan Ginsberg before him, even Herman Melville. Why aren't these people discussed in traditional history books I wondered. The schools only give lessons about the politicians who created the pattern, never those that sought its atrophy.
33. Yeah Yeah Yeahs
"Our Time" 3:24
New York, NY
Each of us had spoke about our lack of support for the pattern and the way of life that came along with it. Suddenly, we weren't very liked by our peers. People scoffed at us, that we did not value freedom, we are degenerates, and that if we don't love our governor, we need to leave the country. In all honesty, we would have loved to leave, but the condition of currency did not allow it. We launched an attack on 5th & Average, to disrupt the pattern. It had already begun, a group of people were running around in circles, obstructing the flow, security chased after them. Together, we hoisted the statue of the mascot, and we flung the large heavy statue of Ronald McDonald through the plate glass window of his shop. We stormed in there, knocked over the display of $28,416 George Foreman Grills, stomped them, then ran out and joined the chase.
32. The Bellrays
"Stupid Fuckin' People" 2:46
I have an internship for the local newspaper, no pay, and I was scheduled to appear at a press conference, a convention of all the senators, congressmen, and governors. I get to the convention, and its exactly like Target, same people here too, except they were wearing suits, formal dress attire, and had jobs considered prestigious. These people had been given the power to run the community, the authority to eliminate lives, an enormous amount of currency, and a free plate of bagels courtesy of taxpayer dollars. Talking to these people was tedious, they were exactly like the television commentators. I just went over and talked to the janitor, he was the only person there who had anything decent to say. Next year, I am voting for him.
Lord Can You Hear Me 5:38
Let It Come Down
902 Staghorn had a premonition that a massive amount of people were going to die soon. Suffering from delusions of a mass scale of homicide is both disturbing and frightening. Visuals of death and mayhem plagued the residents of 902 Staghorn, the nightmares tormented them in sleep. This was something that could not be discussed, too preposterous to ever be believable. There was hope that perhaps it was some sort of delusional fantasy, the mind playing tricks. 902 Staghorn had a dark aura. Somewhere off in the distance, that night, people were making preparations for mass homicide. Concoction of a scheme of such nature, planning something so tragic that it would shock the world forever, results in nervous tension and sleeplessness. It was all they could think about, for, it was going to take place tomorrow.
"I'll Be Your Lampshade" 4:12
The Coast is Never Clear
San Francisco, CA
Bare minimum, there were at least four of us involved, and upon further review, I am not quite sure how I got myself involved. I can't even begin to recollect the series of events in my life that led me to where I am now. Somewhere along the way, I agreed to be part of plot that would cause massive devastation and take the lives of thousands. I try not to think about it, and I do my best to think about it. I was obviously angry about something, some issues had gone dreadfully wrong, the hatred for the world kept rising. Tomorrow will begin exactly like every other, just as everywhere else, the night is exactly like all of the others. Most people are unaware of this, but they are going to die tomorrow. I, too, am going to die tomorrow. The difference is, I know this, and have known for quite some time. This is my last night on Earth. Maybe yours too.
29. Modest Mouse
"Night on the Sun" 7:39
Everywhere and His Nasty Parlour Tricks
It was a crazy night, one of those nights where nothing went right. All we planned to do was go this concert to see this band we all liked- a local band, does not even really count as a concert- no tickets, just a $5 cover charge. There was turmoil on 5th & Average, something about a chase, and Ronald McDonald getting thrown through a window. We were intending to bypass 5th & Average, we all hated it anyway. But, we opted to drive through to see what was really happening.
The place was a zoo. We got harassed by security because we looked suspicious, like supporters of the chase. They took us out of the van, but a group of people we did not even know attacked security. Dumbfounded, we just got back in the van and took off. Attempting to get away from security, we ended up getting lost- almost missed the show. After the show, we decided to smoke a joint with these people we met inside- I was in the back rolling one up. The fat mother fucker next to me bumped into me and spilled some of the weed, it was the last of the bag. The fat fuck on the other side of me bumped into me too, spilling more. As I was about to put the twist on it, security shows at the window, had to hurry up and stuff it in my pants, more spilled. They made us leave, I was rolling while we were driving, and suddenly flames came from the floorboard, the van was on fire. That was the end of that joint.
I ended having to walk several miles to put a bag of ice on the floor to keep it from catching fire. We ended up catching a ride from these girls, they were cool. Next thing you know, we are all at their place. One of them had some psychotic ex-boyfriend who storms in, starts punching the place up, knocking holes in the walls. People were screaming and hollering at each other. He had some dudes, we had ours, next thing you know we are in a brawl that extends into the parking lot. Security shows up again, this time for good reason I suppose. Here's the deal, I didn't know any of these girls, the dudes, and I wasn't about to get harassed by security again. I just took off running, assuming my friends would be joining me. They didn't. I'm booking in the middle of the woods, all by myself. It's late. I'm lost again, but I'll find my way. I have a long walk home. It's so late the streets are deserted. With some luck, I'll be home before the sun comes up.
28. Red House Painters
San Francisco, CA
She reminded me of Éponine in the musical version of Les Misérables. The girl meant well, and all of the aspects of her natural personality were unblemished, unlike the world she lived in. She was never given an equal opportunity, a chance to shine, to be beautiful. Her life song was a sad one, the tune for her death probably will be too. I see her all the time, there is just something about her. We got off work at the same time, worked in the same area. She was walking home, I had a car. But seeing her walking, I decided to walk too, walk with her. It was a long walk, filled with moments of awkward silences. Any inquiries I made in regards to her personal life, I found the answers saddening. Once we got to her house, I bid her farewell, and walked all the way back to my car. I thought of her the rest of the night- I felt sorry for her; so sorry that I almost cried in my sleep. What a horrible life she has lead, I wish I could help her.
27. Ryan Adams
"Goodnight Hollywood Blvd." 3:26
Jacksonville, NC; New York, NY
The night had drawn to a close. For the most part, we can close the book on September 10th, 2001. Employees at the bar were completing their closing duties, they did not feel like cleaning tonight, they just wanted to be done so they could go home and go to bed. In the city, most of the lights are on, but gradually, one-by-one the begin to turn off and the window goes blank. Most people did not partake in the debauchery in which they wished. Many had stayed home. Several people lie awake in their beds, problems still lingering, trying to reach the resolution. There is none, the light just goes off. Others had been working on some project that was important, it was not yet complete, but they had reached a stopping point. The light goes out. Several had been watching a program, listening to an album- it has finished, time for bed, the lights go out. A parade of people walk slowly down the street, they had been working, partying, participating in a protest, fighting a war. Gradually, they scatter off, into their homes, and the lights in their windows go out. Aside from a select few here and there working at 24 hour 3rd shift jobs, the night is pretty much dead. That is the end of September 10th, that is the end of the world.
September 11, 2001
26. Mercury Rev
"Lincoln's Eyes" 7:09
All is Dream
Page 3000, the final chapter of Dominicus Humanus ordains that it is sometimes essential to take drastic measures, utilize all means necessary, in order to preserve the pattern.
In a nationally televised event, an airplane crashed into the World Trade Center in New York City. Others would follow. By the end of the day, the World Trade Center had completely crumbled, as well as another building nearby. The Pentagon in Washington, D.C. had been struck shortly after, damaging the building, but not nearly as bad as The World Trade Center, a much taller skyscraper. Another crash took place in Pennsylvania.
TV ratings soared. People watched in fear. Many traumatized. Thousands of people had been killed in the attacks, some of them televised as well, plunging off the buildings. The streets smoldered. The cities burned. The pattern had been preserved.
Rumors circulated as to who was actually responsible for these attacks, and several theories had been devised. According to the television set, the security, the shop owners, and the governor, the attacks were conducted by people called terrorists, Islamic radicals, Osama Bin Ladin and his terrorist group Al-Queda. The reason, the hate America because of...freedom. (Mrs. Anderson orders little Timmy not to laugh, its not polite.)
Others devised the concept that it was the governor who was responsible. That there were underlying elements that such an attack would allow an invasion of another country for products, currency for the building owners, the shop owners, the government, heightened security to make little Timmy feel safe.
All we know is, one airplane (allegedly, though this has been disputed too) did crash into the World Trade Center, that much had been televised. The Pentagon did receive some structural damage. Something crashed in Pennsylvania. Thousands were reported dead.
Meanwhile, in other news, Mercury Rev released their new album today. Listen to it, while people line up at the gas pumps, while the pattern grows stronger, becomes more necessary, the security will protect you. Have no fear. (Timmy, I told you, it's not polite to laugh).