2011/10/19

The Top 50 Songs of 1994

The Matador + The Top 100 Songs of 1994
Part I: 100-76 "98% of all Bullfights are Exactly Alike"
Part II: 75-51 "98% of all Matadors are Exactly Alike"
Part III: 50-26 "The Charges Have Been Brought Forth"
Part IV: 25-#1 "Disaster is a Matter of Opinion"


Part III of IV: The Charges Have Been Brought Forth

Press play on the image below to hear all of the songs in order.


50. Ride
"I Don't Know Where it Comes From"  5:32
Carnival Of Light
Oxford, England

Lasher was a bull born in the free world known as the west. However, Lasher has never experienced freedom. The moment he was born, he was considered property of another species in which he bore no resemblance. A barn had been constructed on the land in which he was born, and due to the fact the owner was fearful the he would someday get angry, Lasher spent most of his time confined inside this barn. To make certain no other person would attempt to steal Lasher, or just in case Lasher developed some sort of ambition to do something better with his life besides being confined to a barn, the owner branded the bull with scorching iron. If the owner’s child should ever be burned with the scorching hot iron, the child would scream in pain, cry for days, and it would traumatize the little brat for life.

49. Luna
"Tiger Lily"  4:47
Bewitched
New York, NY

Stephanie was in town for only one day on business. She had finished her meeting and stopped in at the local tavern for one drink, a quick appetizer, and to call her husband and kids before returning to the hotel. Within minutes of sitting down, she was approached by Luis, who instantly attempted to flatter her with compliments on her appearance. He introduced himself as the matador, assuming she would be impressed. He soon found out though that she was married and not interested in any sort of intimacy. But Luis had the tranquilizers, and soon Stephanie, just like the bulls he fights, was weakened, feeling strange, and ready to leave. Luis and two other of his matador friends walked her to the hotel, for what he claimed was to ensure her safety. Once inside the hotel room, the tranquilizers made Stephanie unconscious and the matadors were able to claim dominance. They carefully undressed her, and took turns ravaging her unconscious naked body, leaving her wrapped in a silk cape used in bullfighting. The matadors gleefully celebrated the triumph.

48. Soul Coughing
"Sugar Free Jazz"  3:56
Ruby Vroom
New York, NY

The town was struggling financially, and it was time to schedule a bullfight to stimulate the economy. It was time to kill a bull anyway, for the matadors were growing restless to feed their addiction. That is, except Marco, who was suffering from anxiety and periods of intense vomiting. Marco spent most of his time plotting schemes to leave this place for good. He had become a target of scrutiny by animal rights activists due to a video that had surfaced capturing him killing an already wounded bull. The harassment from the activists made him reconsider the values of what he considered a sport.

47. Bailter Space
"Projects"  5:07
Vortura
Christchurch, New Zealand

Without bullfighting, most of the matadors and those involved with the event would live in poverty, thus another valid point that proves man provokes. A majority of matadors once lived in shacks and were barely able to put food on the table. They learned bullfighting as a means to remove themselves from the slums. It was a huge risk, one with serious consequences, but it was the only alternative to rescue themselves from the dangers of poverty—which to them seemed much worse than bullfighting. Furthermore, it gave them a certain degree of fame, and they enjoyed hearing cheers from the audience—something that never happened to them in regular life.

46. Disco Inferno
"Next Year"  4:05
D.I. Go Pop
Essex, England

That was those days. This is these days, and these days bullfighting is an inheritance. A majority of matadors were born in families of wealth who had previously earned their income from bullfighting. Some families are able to boast numerous relatives who had been ordained matadors. A significant portion of matadors are related to one another. Others also had rich families, and bullfighting was not only a means to generate more income, but to display dominance in the community. Then there are those rich people who invest money in bullfighting and reap the profits that come with the business. Some utilize the event as a means to sell souvenirs which they created themselves. People with no skills or talent whatsoever were able to prosper from bullfighting.

45. The International Tussler Society
"Sunchild"  5:31
The Tussler - Original Motion Picture Soundtrack
Trondheim, Norway

Lasher had been growing curious as to what life was like outside the barn. He frequently made remarkable escapes and the farmer had to place extra security measures on him. Before too long, Lasher was deemed unruly, and the farmer would physically abuse the insubordinate bull. The farmer kept Lasher tied up at all times, and told others: “you gotta watch that one; he’ll try to get away.” Lasher never understood why the person seemed so adamant about keeping him imprisoned. What was Lasher going to do? Really? Start a revolt? Go shopping at the mall with the farmer's charge card? Go out and rape women like Luis does?


SIDENOTES: There is no such movie The Tussler; The International Tussler Society is the band Motorpsycho who also put out the remarkable Timothy's Monster in 1994.

44. Velvet Crush
"Faster Days"  4:38
Teenage Symphonies to God
Providence, RI

Marco’s father, Hector, informed Marco of the great news. A bullfight had been scheduled, and he was assigned to be the star matador. Hector invited friends and relatives over for a celebration in Marco’s honor, where he was described a highly successful superstar. The news was not exactly welcomed by Marco, nor was the celebration. He no longer wished to participate in this sort of non-sense. Marco vowed this would be his final bullfight, and would use the money for escaping to a different city altogether. He was going to change his life after this, and retreat to a liberated city that did not allow bullfighting. Nobody would ever know about this so-called honor, it would be kept secret and forgotten about.

43. Silver Jews
"The Moon is the Number 18"  3:41
Starlite Walker
Charlottesville, VA

Luis was excited the event had been scheduled, and was happy for Marco as well. Generally, Luis and Marco alternated between starring as the lead matador, but each performed on the team of matadors whose purpose was to outnumber and weaken the bull. Luis and the other matadors who raped Stephanie were slated to be members of Marco’s team. In fact, they were always on the same team—it was their occupation.

42. Boredoms
"Shock City"  4:43
Chocolate Synthesizer
Osaka, Japan

Aside from the matadors, there are numerous other positions affiliated with bullfighting. There are ticket sellers, event promoters, and souvenir dealers—and these people are contracted through the arena. Just with the bull and bullfighters, there are transporters who commute the bull to the arena while listening to bad music, and a large group of people who are assigned to bull security; which consists of keeping the bull in containment until the start of the event, leading the bull to the stage area, and monitoring the entire event to apply assistance should a matador’s safety be in jeopardy. There are also grounds keepers and costume designers. Being as the stage is entirely dirt and the costumes are grotesquely ugly, these people are piss poor at their jobs and that’s precisely why they were hired by the bullfighting committee.

41. Beck
"Mutherfuker"  2:05
Mellow Gold
Los Angeles, CA

Man likes to provoke. The matador was announced before the bull. The event was scheduled before any of those dependent for the event ever agreed to do anything. They needed to purchase a bull. Nobody ever caught onto to this, but in the days before a scheduled event, some farmers see an increase in taxes, coupled with steep penalties for being tardy on their taxes because they allegedly committed an error when filing. Bull farmers are subject to constant tax auditing, and auditors will revise tax laws in order to generate a debt for the farmer so he becomes desperate.

40. Melvins
"Roadbull"  3:26
Stoner Witch
Montesano, WA

Then comes the letter. The farmer is informed there had been a miscalculation when he filed his taxes, and that he now owes $2000, due immediately or else he will have to forfeit his land. Because there is no money, the farmer has to sell one of his bulls to the bullfighting committee. The $2000 goes straight to the government to pay a tax debt that was created intentionally to obtain the rights of a bull. This is yet another example of how tax payer dollars fund bullfighting.

39. Pram
"Shadows"  6:38
Helium
Birmingham, England

When a farmer has to sell a bull, they generally pick one with the most sparkling personality because intellect causes unruliness. This particular farmer selected Lasher because he had made far too many attempts to escape from the barn. And this is a fine example of how the disgraced human race fears innovation; and how they prefer complacency, conformity, and stupidity. In communities such as this, all living objects, especially bulls and women, are expected to conform to the conventional standards outlined by the conservative, conventional, think inside the box at all times, dominant male.

38. Lush
"Desire Lines"  7:39
Split
London, England

Lasher was excited to finally be freed from the barn. He was friendly towards the transporters, fully cooperated, and even eagerly leaped into the back of the vehicle. This was going to be an exciting day. Lasher was finally going to be able to satisfy his curiosity and get a glimpse as to what life was like outside the barn. He enjoyed the views of the scenic countryside for the entire duration of the trip, and wished they could stop and visit some of these places.

37. The High Llamas
"The Goat (Instrumental)"  6:15
Gideon Gaye
London, England

Event promoters arrived to take photographs of Lasher. Once again, he was confined to a stall, and was hoping he would soon be freed to go sightseeing in the countryside landscapes he enjoyed on the trip here. The photographers were cruel to Lasher, as were the other people in the stall. They were attempting to arouse and anger Lasher so that he would appear to be a vicious monster in the photographs. After a series of shoots, they were finally satisfied once they were able to capture Lasher in his most menacing pose—shortly after being zapped repeatedly with a cattle prong.

36. Optical *8
"Night Fade"  8:27
Bug
New York, NY/Tokyo, Japan

Posters were created of both Marco and Lasher in order to advertise the event. Neither party appeared as they do in their normal state, and both images attempted to reveal brutality and strength. Lasher was depicted as a monster, a villain, and a ruthless killer who would stop at nothing until all members of the human race had been destroyed. Marco was portrayed as the hero; the savior who would save the world from the fury of the demon known as Lasher the Slasher.

35. Tortoise
"Ry Cooder"  7:07
Tortoise
Chicago, IL

In part because the posters were a major success, and also because tourists are incredibly stupid, the tickets for this event sold extremely well. There had been a major decrease in ticket sales as of lately because there had been a growing hatred for bullfighting. In fact, many of the events lately had but a few hundred people in the audience sitting amongst tens of thousands empty seats. Even with a lack of interest from an audience, the spectacle would continue anyway. Furthermore, most of the participants knew they were hated by so many people, but felt they had the right to dominate their belief system as well.

34. Unwound
"Usual Dosage"  5:14
New Plastic Ideas
Turnwater, WA

Matadors are experienced in numerous bullfights. Some matadors have been involved in hundreds of bullfights, and it has become routine. The matadors know exactly what to do, exactly how to please the audience, exactly how to torment the bull, and exactly when to murder it. Bulls, on the other hand, participate in only one bullfight. The moment they enter the arena, it will be the very first time ever they had ever participated in a charade such as this. Yet, people consider the matadors skilled in their execution. Nobody would be impressed watching Michael Jordan defeat a 1st grader who had never even held a basketball; much less if Michael Jordan tormented and ridiculed the child before mercilessly defeating her.

33. Moose
"Stop Laughing"  3:26
Honey Bee
London, England

The tourists flocked to the arena with their cameras and souvenir bags. Most took photos of the arena, various other pieces of the scenery, and photographed themselves standing next to a statue of a bull. They assumed they were the first people to ever take such a widely acclaimed photograph. Like bullfighting, they considered that conventional photo that looked exactly like 837,000 others a piece of art.

32. Flowerpornoes
"Einer Von Deinen"  3:27
...Red Nicht Von Straßen, Nicht Von Zügen
Duisburg, Germany

The matadors arrived to the arena amidst cheers from the crowd. Tourists took photos of them in their ridiculous costumes, and commented on how they looked. As the crowd was cheering and taking photographs, the matadors waved to the crowd, stopped and posed for photographs, and made flirtatious comments to the ladies. This was the only place where they endured any popularity whatsoever. Outside the bullfighting arena, the matadors were perceived simply as other annoying people holding up the line at the grocery store. On the international circuit, 98% of the world could not identify any of them, and had no clue who the fuck these people even were.

31. Suede
"Black or Blue"  3:49
Dog Man Star
London, England

Stephanie had her suspicions, and had been forced to live with guilt ever since her one evening spent in this community. Because of Stephanie, the matadors may not have been well known in all other regions outside the community, but they were the topic of discussion in the Grand Scheme of Things Board Committee. After the evening with Stephanie, Luis and the other matadors finally received the red alert…the light that flashes by their names in the registry. It’s rare to have a flashing red light next to a name in the registry, and should it occur, the Committee discusses what consequences would be necessary. The case of the matadors/serial rapists was being reviewed to determine what actions need to be taken. Once the case becomes prevalent in The Grand Scheme of Things Board Committee, bizarre things are prone to happen.

30. Primal Scream
"I'll Be There For You"  6:34
Give Out But Don't Give Up
Glasgow, Scotland

All matadors have a commitment to protect one another, and vow to ensure the safety of the team no matter what happens. Also, there is a priest on site where the matadors can receive graces from God to obtain the power to kill a bull. They had always assumed God was a man, just like they were. They assumed that God condoned this type of behavior, and the sacrifice of the bull was in his honor. The matadors make a commitment to God, that if given the strength to mercilessly slaughter this bull in his honor, the matador will vow to serve God for the duration of his life. And, obey all of God’s wills. This is what they claim, and is known in the heavens as “bullfightershit.”

29. Soundgarden
"Black Hole Sun"  5:18
Superunknown
Seattle, WA

Other members of the team had Lasher tied up, and they brought him out for the crowd to see. Once again, Lasher was happy to simply be out of the stall. But, he was suffering from feelings of discontentment because it appeared his life was only to be confined to various barns. Furthermore, this barn was worse than the other one. The people in here had struck him repeatedly, have not allowed him to eat—he was starving at this point, and had given him some sort of an injection that made him feel dizzy and intoxicated. He just wanted all of these people to go away, stop bothering him, and simply allow him to leave peacefully. He couldn’t stand the sight of their unwarranted hostility, it sickened him that people could be so cruel.

28. The Jesus and Mary Chain
"Feeling Lucky"  2:19
Stoned & Dethroned
East Kilbride, Scotland

The matadors said their prayers and performed the rituals designed to intensify their psyche. They did a series of exercises, stretches, and visualizations of celebration. Many of them planned what they were going to do after the bull had been murdered. There were some hot babes in the audience they could surely dominate after the event. It was their moment to shine, and they were about to be the most beloved people in the community.

27. Violent Femmes
"Jesus of Rio"  3:33
New Times
Milwaukee, WI

When Lasher saw the crowd of people, he once again grew excited. He hoped that one of them would be friends with him and maybe they could have dinner together and later go sightseeing. Instead, the crowd of tourists booed Lasher, cussed at him, and threw objects at him. Lasher was confused as to what he did to deserve this. He entered the arena with a feeling of sadness and rejection. These people did not even know him, yet they hated him for no reason. If they hated him so much, then why not just let him go free? All he wanted to do was go out and graze somewhere. It wasn’t his decision to come here; the complete of that human uncle nobody wanted to visit but showed up for the holidays anyway.

26. Oasis
"Shakermaker"  5:08
Definitely Maybe
Manchester, England

The tourists took their seats. The matadors planned the massacre of both the bull and the values of some of the women in the audience. Lasher had no clue what to think, was uncertain where he even was, or what he was supposed to do. Marco remained alone. He no longer wished to be a part of the ceremonies that brought death to a bull. He no longer wished to associate with the likes of Luis and the others. Luis walked by, asked if he was ready. Marco would not even look at him. He was presented a picture of the bull, Lasher. Marco refused to look at the photograph as well. After this event, he was leaving here for good. All of these people made him sick to his stomach. He made himself sick to his stomach. Thus ensued, another episode of vomiting.





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