2011/10/19

The Top 50 Songs of 1984

The Top 150 Songs of 1984 + 100 Planes of Parallel Existence
Part 1: The Concept of Living 100 Separate Lives Simultaneously
Part 2: The Control Room
Part 3: Bosco's Early Deaths
Part 4: Mayday! Mayday! Red Altert! Squirrels! Mayday!
Part 5: Abnormal Executions
Part 6: Nakita, She's the One

Part V: Abnormal Executions


Press play to listen to the songs.



Some of the errors had been corrected. The squirrels had been removed and were no longer an issue. Lydia Lunch was no longer an issue either, and she was now living out the rest of her planes as if nothing had ever happened. Bosco's case had yet to be resolved, however, for he was still acting strangely and showing up in his Control Room.

50. The Psychedelic Furs
"The Ghost in You"  4:17
Mirror Moves
London, England

The elements that caused the death on the previous Plane seemed to have an effect on a different random Plane. On Plane #35, Bosco was considered completely normal- which means by most people's standards on this Plane we are living on, the people on this Plane #35 have to be a bit odd, perhaps even a bit stupid. But, suddenly, just out of the blue, Bosco decided to cut a whole into his wall, rip one of the wires that was connected to an electrical outlet, and put it in his mouth. The screen for Plane #35 flashes like a strobe light.

49. Run-D.M.C.
"Hard Times"  3:55
S/T
New York, NY

Control Room personnel knew they were in for a dubious task, and times were about to get tough. For Bosco, Plane #83, times were already tough. So, he decided to enter a bank, carrying a gun. This bank required people to go through a metal detector before entering, but the staff had become accustomed to just opening the door without checking; Bosco simply had the gun out setting on the ledge where most people put their keys. He entered without hassle, obtained the money without hassle, and peacefully walked out with the bag. While carrying the bag, Bosco walked over to Piggly Wiggly to get a variety pack of Jello-O pudding that he had a coupon for. The police gunned him down in aisle 12.

48. Gasmask
"ダイオキシン"  2:56  (Dioxin)
S/T EP
Japan

Plane #52 was another plane where Bosco was a misfit going through a difficult period, and there just so happened to be a national Northwest Mutual Conference taking place in Milwaukee. Bosco encouraged many of these to take the grand bus tour, said it was free. What they didn't know, was that Bosco had hi-jacked the bus, and was now on a mission because his planes of existence were misaligned. Laughing hysterically, Bosco drove the bus full of Northwest Mutual Douches off of a cliff, killing them all, and destroying the plate of bagels that had come from the conference room.

47. Butthole Surfers
"Mexican Caravan"  2:45
Psychic...Powerless...Another Man's Sac
Austin, TX

On this day on Plane #11, the United States passed a law that strictly prohibited Mexicans from entering the country, and those here now have to leave. Bosco decided to organize a protest, and many joined. Most people were making valid legitimate points about lifelong friendships that had created with the Hispanic community; Bosco was only protesting because the guy he scored weed from was a Mexican and gave him a better deal than "stupid ass greedy white people who only deal drugs for large profits." A riot ensued. As the riot squad kept beating Bosco, he kept antagonizing them repeating insults, and saying stuff like, "didn't hurt; pussy!" He died in the hospital that night from internal bleeding.

46. R. Stevie Moore
"Compatibility Leaves"  3:37
What's The Point?!!
Nashville, TN/Bloomfield, NJ

Plane #33, Bosco had a girlfriend who he wasn't too particularly fond of; he had been contemplating breaking up with her, but didn't know how. Somehow, it was embedded in his head that a place called Paradise existed, and he was running out of people to spend it with. He suddenly got up, went over to his girlfriend, Jessica Booboo, and told her how stupid she was because she was a member of the church of Scientology. He went on and on about how big of a crock that religion was, and then stated her parents must also be stupid for raising her to think that must be something intellectual. Jessica Booboo remained calm, but finally grew tired of his annoyances; calmly removed the Cutco Hardy Slicer she just purchased from the in-home demonstration someone from the church performed, and rammed it into his chest. These are good knives- it went in without much force, and Jessica had no problem getting it back out either, she wished she could show the demonstration guy about another good use for the Hardy Slicer.

45. Christian Death
"Sleepwalk"  5:25
Catastrophe Ballet
Los Angeles, CA

On Plane #77, Bob Mosher and Joe Connelly are regarded as literary geniuses for creating the popular TV show Leave it to Beaver. College students are required to write elaborate essays regarding individual essays of Leave it to Beaver, and the characters are a major influence on the entire world; most people in this world dress, talk, and act just like the characters on Leave it to Beaver. Bosco does not. He and his hooligan friends, Scott the talking horse and Cootie McGee can often be spotted in alleyways smoking cigarettes, wearing leather jackets, harassing Beaver lookalikes, and listening to punk rock. They created a blaspheming episode with Lemmy Kilmister of Motorhead starring as Ward Cleaver, who used profound language and came home drunk with a prostitute to engage in a threesome with June, played superbly by Lydia Lunch. This caused such an uproar, that people in the community protested to the extreme that they burnt Bosco's house down...and called him a dirty "Eddie Haskell" while they threw stones at him. And, Bosco was executed by the Leave it to Beaver lynch mob.

44. A.E. Bizottság
"Baad Schandau"  2:18
Jégkrémbalett
Szentendre, Hungary

Plane #41: Bosco worked at a job adding the dimethyl benzyl ammonium saccharinate into odor eliminating disinfectant spray. He decided that smoking this product will get you intensely stoned and able to communicate with your past lives. He was half right, but his communication with his past lives took place in the waiting lobby after he was escorted out of the Control Room.

43. The Ex
"Fire and Ice"  4:42
Blueprints for a Blackout
Amsterdam, Netherlands

Plane #19 sees Bosco as a successful oil tycoon. His family struck oil a long time ago, but the world had no use for it at the time, and Bosco's house was regarded as a slum with a black swamp in the backyard- all the kids made fun of him growing up, calling him names like "stupid ass dick sucker". Finally, it was discovered that this black liquid was ideal to use in surgical procedures to lubricate bad bone joints. But, with the invention of WD-40, many doctors were just spraying that chemical into arthritic elbows. So, Bosco had to come up with a new purpose for his product in order to keep up with the competition WD-40 was presenting. Bosco, on national TV, erected a 67 foot high diving board, and did an elegant swan dive into his oil reserve- stating it would give people the ability to travel in parallel universes. Bosco never came up out of the oil. In fact, he rotted in there, and eventually became a fossil fuel himself.

42. Meat Puppets
"Split Myself in Two"  2:24
II
Phoenix, AZ

Somehow on Plane #90, Bosco had the notion that he was leading multiple lives throughout the universe. This lead him to believe that he was now able to lead multiple lives on Plane #90. With the Cutco Hardy Slicer his girlfriend recently purchased, Bosco decided to cut himself in half in order to create two Bosco's. Instead, this one Bosco joined the other 58 Bosco's who had all died recently.

41. Normil Hawaiians
"Ignorance is Strength"  3:11
What's Going On?
London, England
Meanwhile, on Plane #5, Scott the talking horse went down to the corner Redbox to rent a movie. However, the machine took his money- again. Scott was out discussing this matter with his best friend Bosco, and they decided to conduct a sting operation and steal the Redbox machine... bust it open, re-arrange the videos by putting R Rated horror movies into all the family movies slots, and then return it. During the getaway, the Redbox machine flipped over and fell on top of Bosco, spitting out the DVD for He's Just Not That Into You.

40. The Replacements
"Seen Your Video"  3:09
Let It Be
Minneapolis, MN

Bosco #5 had some sort of a strange effect on Bosco on Plane #58- as if any of the previous Bosco's have been normal. One day, Bosco developed a colossal hatred for the movie He's Just Not That Into You. He spent the whole day spreading propaganda making criminal allegations about all of those involved with the making of the film. Bosco made his way into the office of director Ken Kwapis, drew a gun, stated sternly to the film's director "and I'm just not that into YOU!", shot him, and then shot himself.

39. The Gun Club
"Bad America"  4:59
The Las Vegas Story
Los Angeles, CA

Plane #85. Money was not an issue. The United States did not elect leaders based on how much wealth they accrued, but how well they starred in porno films. The President had to either have a 12" cock, or be able to deep throat one. The government frequently gave tax breaks to those well endowed. Bosco was not. He was a civil rights activist for those with small penises and demanded equal rights. And so it went, all of sudden, the government put a hit out on Bosco. In an alleyway behind Pick 'n Save, Bosco found himself surrounded by busty 44-DD women in skimpy clothes carrying baseball bats. Most men on this plane would consider this a fairly decent way to die.

38. Violent Femmes
"I Know It's True, But I'm Sorry"  5:08
Hallowed Ground
Milwaukee, WI

Bosco did not fit in with the population on Plane #97, less than 10% of this world were humans. Throughout the entire universe, 83% of brother/sister humans engage in sexual activities. Bosco fell in love with his older sister, but at age 8, she was taken away to go work in a grooming factory. The remainder of his life, Bosco thought about her, what she was doing now, and imagined her to now look like Lydia Lunch. He escaped his tormentor, and seemingly knew exactly where to go to find her. Unfortunately, she looked nothing like Lydia Lunch and more so resembled Chewbacca. She was happy to see him, but he was a bit disappointed. Furthermore, he contracted this terminal venereal disease that comes with having sexual contact with dirty ass Chewbacca looking women.

37. Confuse
"Nuclear Poisoning"  3:05
Indignation
Hakata, Japan

Plane #14, Bosco mysteriously called in sick to work at the Limousine service for the first time in years. For whatever reason, he decided to go to Nevada and explore the Nellis Air Force testing site; even went for a swim in a nuclear reservoir. When he returned, he was assigned to chaperon a group of people from the Northwest Mutual Conference. He began feeling the effects of the nuclear toxins he ingested, turned into ferocious green monster, slayed all of his Northwest Mutual passengers, and ate them. Unfortunately, he contracted what is now known as the Northwest Mutual stomach virus, and died face down in a toilet at the local Waffle House. You should have seen the patrons when a green monster rushed in holding his stomach and raced to the bathroom, most assumed it was an employee.

36. Living Death
"Heavy Metal Hurricane"  3:46
Vengeance of Hell
Velbert, Germany

Plane #70 saw the Earth get stricken with an epidemic of a deadly virus the other day. The cause of the virus was unknown, but the results of the virus were bone chilling. People known to be infected with this virus were known to suddenly, without any warning, have black liquid shoot out of their nipples causing acidic burns on the skin of those sprayed. Bosco and Cootie McGee were passionately making out in Cootie's bedroom. He unbuttoned her blouse, revealing her delectable breasts. Bosco caressed them softly, and started sucking on her nipples sensually. Right around the time he was unbuttoning her jeans, with her nipple in his mouth, she started spraying the acidic black liquid from her nipples; asphyxiation was the actual cause of death, for the acid nor the virus was ever given the opportunity to fulfill its bargain.

35. Flux of Pink Indians
"Blood Lust Rite"  4:40
The Fucking Cunts Treat Us Like Pricks
Bishops Stortford, England

Plane #20, Bosco's life was already a mess. He got drafted to fight in a war in which he did not support to begin with. Once he returned, he had numerous PTSD symptoms and a genuine abhorrence for the government. Bosco was a major advocate for the war to end, and actively protested every regard to it. However, Bosco got drafted again. This time, he refused to fight, stating that if he did enter the war again, it would be on the other side. On national TV, he burnt his draft statement along with the nation's emblem. A hardcore "patriot", who had never been in a war and blindly supported anything the government told him to, gathered his rifle, got into his truck, and shot Bosco for being "a left-wing pansy."

34. Section 25
"Inspiration"  8:16
From the Hip
Blackpool, England

Plane #48, Bosco decided to go outside to smoke a cigarette, for he was feeling a bit peculiar. All of sudden, the stop sign across the street turned around and faced him. This was a most unusual occurrence, and Bosco looked at his cigarette to see if it had been laced with a hallucinogenic drug. The stop sign shimmied its' way out of the ground and began floating towards Bosco. He watched in awe for a brief moment, but once the stop sign started getting closer, he turned around and started running away from it. The floating stop sign sped up, caught up to Bosco, and whacked him over the head, knocking him to the ground. Bosco got up, tried to run away again, but the stop sign whacked him down again. The screen for Plane #48 reads "DEAD", and shows Bosco being whacked repeatedly by an ethereal stop sign. Throughout the infinite building in every Control Room in the history of the universe, this was the first time this had happened. Oh well, at least stop signs are now disqualified from Bosco's Paradise.

33. Ali Farka Touré
"Timbindy"  5:44
S/T (Red)
Kanau, Mali- Niafunké, Mali

On Plane #29, there was no such thing as concrete. All of the famous inventors of grass seed resided on this plane, and all the land on Earth was covered with beautiful, edible, green grass. People on this plane traveled by means of riding lawnmower, in which some folks even "pimped". Bosco had nice riding lawnmower, and was going out on a date with this girl he had been seeing, Debbie Dialup. The date was going smooth, until they were leaving the theatre; they had just watched Bitch, He Still Ain't Into Your Monkey Ass. They were pulled over by the police, who also rode lawnmowers equipped with sirens. Turns out, Debbie Dialup was an escaped convict and wanted for numerous violent crimes in several states. Debbie Dialup hijacked Bosco's lawnmower and fled from the police with Bosco on the back. What ensued was a high speed (26 mph) lawnmower chase with Debbie and the police shooting at each other. Viewers of Screen #29 have no idea how this chase ended, because it simply shows the 5 second clip of Bosco holding on to the waist of Debbie Dialup, she turning around to fire at the police, but accidentally hitting Bosco point blank execution style.

32. Officer!
"Air"  3:00
Ossification
France

Plane #74: Bosco and Scott the talking horse resorted to a life of crime: cheerfully. They robbed a bank, while singing this song, and those involved did a dance routine. The police also sang merrily and did a lovely dance in the street during the happy shootout that took place. Even after Bosco got shot, he still wore a happy smile, and his screen shows him "DEAD" giving a happy wink.

31. Aztec Camera
"Backwards and Forwards"  4:13
Knife
East Kilbride, Scotland

Plane #25, the following dates have the same theme: Aug. 22, 2002-Sept. 14, 2004; Jan. 2005-May 2005; July 2006-July 2007; Aug. 22 2010-the other day. These are the periods of time in which Bosco and Cootie McGee were "together". In-between all of those dates, Bosco was single, except for a week in October of 2005 when he had a two-week fling with some babe named Debbie Dialup. Throughout the rest of the relationship, Cootie would always bring up Debbie Dialup, and sometimes cause a scene, like she did a Pick 'n Save while shopping for vaginal lube in November of 2010. The other day, Bosco got a text message from Debbie Dialup that read "what's that shit called that you put in the deodorant at your work?" Bosco responded, "yeah, baby, that shit's called cyclopentasiloxane!" Debbie Dialup responded: "that shit makes me so horny." Bosco responded: "yea, well come over and lick some cyclopentasiloxane off my cock." Debbie Dialup responded: "LOL! c u soon." Anyhow, Cootie didn't take this too lightly, she never does. She went out and bought a rifle from the local crack dealer. When she snuck into Bosco's house, he was in his bedroom applying cyclopentasiloxane onto his penis. The other dead Bosco's in the lobby make fun of Bosco #25 for this.

30. Prefab Sprout
"Cue Fanfare"  4:07
Swoon
Newcastle, England

Plane #7 was plane in which Bosco first encountered Nakita Jones, a 6'3" Russian beauty who Bosco adores even more than Lydia Lunch. On Plane #7, Bosco met Nakita in 2002- He was 18, she was 21. For 9 years, the two have worked together. In those 9 years, she has been the subject of his masturbation fantasies 5,867 times. And, in those 9 years, he has mumbled, maybe, three sentences to her.  Even though he does not have the nerve to actually speak to her, he always thinks of excuses to walk by her office, or wherever it is she is working. The other day, Bosco decided that he was going to go to lunch early that day; at 8:04 AM- his shift began at 8:00 AM but he saw Nakita in the lobby and was thinking of an excuse to go back down there. If he wasn't in love with her before, he was now. A group of silly douches from the Northwest Mutual Convention were attempting to get into the building and some of the guys were actually harassing her insisting that she give them a tour. Nakita reared back and punched him, knocking him out cold. Then, she kicked some other guy in the face, and when she did, Bosco caught a glimpse up her skirt. He was masturbating in the bathroom on the 9th floor when all of sudden the heating and cooling ducts malfunctioned and fell through the ceiling.

29. The Style Council
"The Paris Match"  4:27
Cafe Bleu
London, England

Plane #53 is the Plane in which the beings spend most of their lives around the ones who they share most of their other planes. Bosco resided in a small town, population 13,897 in a neighborhood with Cootie McGee, Scott the Talking Horse, Lydia Lunch, Merle & Connie from the chicken coup, and some guy named Vern who Bosco did time with in the joint on Plane #92. All was well, until Bosco met Francis, a tourist from France who Bosco immediately fell in love with. He quickly boarded a plane to go find her in Paris. This was not supposed to happen, and affected the balance of this Plane for something too far out of the ordinary occurred. On the way to France, a hurricane formed in the Atlantic, and caused the plane to crash into the Ocean.

28. Queen
"Radio Ga Ga"  5:49
The Works
London, England

Plane #91, Bosco was a child superstar about 10-15 years ago. This had a major effect on his personality. Bosco became famous playing a character named Pickles on a TV show called Pickles' Vacuum Cleaner. Bosco could never disassociate himself from Pickles or that vacuum cleaner. But, Bosco became Pickles as well; even at age 27, he could be seen walking around town in his spacesuit trying to fight crime with his vacuum cleaner. Mobs of people would yell: "Pickles, you suck!" Bosco/Pickles were already completely mentally insane. But, when the effects of mysterious pauses and other strange occurrences started happening, it really sent Bosco over the edge. Bosco attempted to resolve issues the way Pickles did in various episodes of the show, with the use of his magical vacuum cleaner. While attempting to vacuum all the evil demons out of his home, E.T. entered his home, by means of prying the window open with a crowbar and climbing in, wearing a tool belt. Without saying a word, E.T. removed the panel from the vacuum cleaner, tinkered with some of the parts, put the panel back on, turned on the power, sucked Bosco up into the vacuum's hose causing a loud clanking noise, left a note that said: "Fuck you Pickles, and your stupid ass vacuum cleaner", phoned home, and then left the house via flying bicycle.

27. Echo & The Bunnymen
"The Killing Moon"  5:48
Ocean Rain
Liverpool, England

By this point, it seemed that the entire universe had been effected by the malfunctioning of Bosco's Control Room. Plane #40 had zero abnormalities whatsoever. And, Bosco even seemed somewhat normal- normal for him anyway. Earth had never seen a visitor from another planet on Plane #40, and at 8:56 PM, one showed up over Cincinnati, OH where Bosco lived. The vessel shun a light onto Bosco, levitated him up to the moon, and then left without a trace. Bosco looked confused on the moon, especially when it disintegrated.

26. The Dream Syndicate
"John Coltrane Stereo Blues"  8:50
Medicine Show
Los Angeles, CA

Plane #100 has never adopted any means of currency; therefore the word "budget" does not exist. As a result, aerospace technology is far advanced, and humans frequently travel through space to the other planets in the solar system, which are also now inhabited with various life forms- though not necessarily humans- Earth creatures though. Bosco decided to cruise past Pluto after a visit with his friend Bob the Rhino who owns a clothing store on one of Pluto's moons. Bosco ventured into uncharted territory, put his ship in neutral, and decided to get out. He fell, and he fell, and he fell. He kept falling, freely into space. His whereabouts are unknown. After falling for several hours, his screen on Plane #100 showed him falling freely into space behind the word "DEAD." Once the being has died, the screen no longer tracks his whereabouts; meaning, after Bosco died from the fall, the remainder of his fall was untraceable.









Top image by: Photoshot
Bottom Image by: Flickriver

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