NC17 Top 25 Traxxx of 2001

The Corner of 5th & Average + The Top 200 Songs of 2001
Part 1: Dominicus Humanus
Part 2: Hostage Situation
Part 3: Lorenzo & The George Foreman Grills
Part 4: 902 Staghorn
Part 5: Plots Against the Pattern
Part 6: September 9th, 2001
Part 7: September 10th, 2001
Part 8: And Everything Shall Remain Exactly the Same

Part VIII: And Everything Shall Remain Exactly the Same

Welcome to 2001, the year an event or two may or may not have happened. To hear this first selection of songs, press play on the image below:

25. Les Savy Fav
"Tragic Monsters"  3:12
Go Forth
Providence, RI;  New York, NY

Today was exactly like yesterday. The sun came up. The Earth will rotate fully around it's axis in approximately 24 hours; it will have completed roughly 1/365th of its orbit around the sun. On 5th and Average, the pattern began just as it always does. Some places were filled with festive activities, some were able to enjoy them, some did not. There was one new discovery, numerous struggles, a couple different buildings that had been completed. For the most part, every person on Earth woke up, got out of bed to the tune of an alarm, took a shower, got dressed, went to work, came home, did some things around the house, ate food, went back to bed. Many longed to do this exact same feat, but with somebody else.

24. Old Time Relijun
"Vampire Sushi"  3:15
Witchcraft Rebellion
Olympia, WA

The attacks became the most notorious topic of discussion. Commemoratives were built, it was a major event for television and commentators, and people vowed to preserve the pattern, that this would not change anything. For many, it was a day like no other. For the hated ones, it reminded some of April 15, 1986 ,Oct. 25, 1983, Sept. 16, 1982, Dec. 7, 1941, Oct. 3, 1935, Feb. 4, 1899, early BCE when the first king conquered the unsuspecting village. Now, they were able to experience what it was like.

23. The Avalanches
"Since I Left You"  4:20
Since I Left You
Melbourne, AU

I had walked from that miserable life forever. Once upon a time, it seemed I had everything, a good job, owned my own home, a wife, a career. None of that was for me, never was. My family and my friends from back there never could understand the decision I made, to walk from that miserable life forever; I was being foolish. But I have to tell you, it was the greatest decision I ever made. Each day is a different discovery, all of them fascinating. Once again, I am happy, I am able to be myself and do the things that I enjoy, without having to compromise for what I am "supposed" to do, or what I "have" to do. (He smiles, laughs, then walks away. He joins a group of friends who are also smiling, laughing.)

22. Fugu
"Vibravox"  3:02
Fugu 1

We had all walked from that miserable life forever. Through the course of fate, somehow we all met distant miles away. There was no 5th & Average, and the manual need not apply here. We had heard reports about what was happening back there at the miserable life. Shrugged, fuck it, it's not our problem anymore. The only problem that I am having is why did I never do this before, those years back at the miserable life was a waste. I suppose that lifestyle is essential for some people, but not us. I think back to what I did, and I couldn't up with anything; it was if I did not even exist. Life now has a fresh sense of excitement. (The group all opened a can of beer at the same time, stood in a circle, and them all up high, cheered, then drank together.)

21. Air
"Radio #1"  4:22
10,000 Hz Legend
Versailles, France

The TV show was an enormous hit. Ratings soared through the roof. Corporate radio enjoyed immense prosperity, despite playing lousy music. As shop owners poured currency into advertisements, they had successfully transformed most of the community to be exactly how they wanted, just like the people at Target. The people at Target were everywhere, many of them commentators for the hit television program, the announcer on the radio. The world had finally become a beautiful place, but it had yet to plateau, there were more improvements to be made. Members of the community showed up with flags to show their support.

20. Neil Michael Hagerty
"Creature Catcher"  2:28
Neil Michael Hagerty
Chicago, IL

We had a new enemy. It wasn't the governor, it wasn't security, it wasn't the shop owner, it wasn't the interest collector at the bank, and it most definitely was not the television commentator. These were all our friends. Any person who did not support these brilliant minded individuals were the real problem. They made Target look bad. They did not support the pattern. People had to stop the chase, running endlessly from security, who enjoyed more rights than ever.

19. Gorky's Zygotic Mynci
"Cân Megan"  3:18
How I Long To Feel That Summer In My Heart
Carmarthen, Wales

They said on TV that we should spend more money than ever before, that it was vital to improve the economy, and the more we spent, the more the world would prosper. And so we did! As we all simultaneously left our homes at the exact same time, we did a little dance the entire way to 5th & Average. We had our shopping carts, and we were just flinging merchandise over our shoulders and into the carts, dancing the whole way. Trudy got Gary an ugly shirt. Barbara got Aunt Annie a new candle she had been desperate for. Amy got a whole bunch of shit she didn't even need. Marilyn brought her bags out of the store, and took them straight to Goodwill without even opening any of the packages. This is going to be the best Christmas ever!

18. Mull Historical Society
"Instead"  5:43
Mull, Scotland

I walked from one miserable right into another one. And then to another one. I was losing hope, and losing interest in all of their activities. All around me was joy and happiness, but I wasn't feeling any of it. The things that interested them, I had already grown tired of. The social rituals were exactly like they were 15-20 years ago, maybe even longer, for they had not advanced since I was alive. I tried to recollect if 15 years ago I was doing the same shit that was popular in 1958. I researched 1958, we had advanced, but somewhere along the lines the advancement stopped. Now, I don't want to be a part of these people. Most of my time is spent visualizing something better. I wish that I was born either 100 years ago, or 100 years from now. I was not meant to be living at this time.

17. The Clean
"Stars"  5:22
Dunedin, New Zealand

Let me tell ya, today I woke up with a renewed vigor, and set out to achieve some goals I had been neglecting. There was this woman who worked at the beauty parlor down the road from my apartment, I had seen her in passing several times...I was going to find that girl and make her mine. And I did. I went in for a haircut, talked to her, got her number, we went out, next thing you know I had her up in my room- I hit that! But, two weeks later, I had a new goal: how the hell do I get rid of her? She turned all neurotic on me. In a strange twist of events, it was her who got rid of me- ha ha ha, walked out on me at a restaurant- ha ha ha. Two weeks after that, I had a new goal: How do I win her back?

16. The White Stripes
"The Union Forever"  3:26
White Blood Cells
Detroit, MI

I turned down a promotion. The shop owner did not understand why I did, as if I did not want more money, he questioned what was wrong with me. That's when I told him that this scene on 5th & Average was never my passion, that I wasn't interested in gold mines, oil wells, shipping, or real estate. What would I liked to have been? Everything you hate. And the shop owner, he was everything I hate. My actions seemed to rally my co-workers. We expressed a genuine lack of approval for $28,416 George Foreman Grills, ganged him in a corner, shouting in his face about how we hated the policies here. Together, we knocked over the display, crashing them to the floor. And we walked out of that shop never to return.

15. Built to Spill
"You Are"  3:51
Ancient Melodies of the Future
Boise, ID

The televised event never sat right with me. I watched the broadcast over and over again, the pieces did not seem to fit properly. Just like the rest of things on television, I began to question the validity of this event, that it was staged: the ultimate program in which real life people could be seen getting killed. It was the collapse of the one tower where I began to grow concerned. The way that it crumbled. It was a skyscraper, made from steel beams capable of holding massive weight.

If anything, the top of the building should have fallen over. If it could not withstand the weight, I would have guessed it would have began crumbling from the bottom many many years ago. Then, if by miracle it did begin collapsing from the top, this would have been a process that should have taken hours, maybe even days. It would have dropped from one floor to the next, stopping somewhere along the lines before the next course of structure gave in, large particles from the building would have shot out from all sides. Instead, the whole thing seemed to have disintegrated, all at once, the tower came down in one straight solid row in a matter of seconds. Something about this seemed staged. In fact, it was obviously staged and I will never understand how people believed the TV shows.

14. Stephen Malkmus
"Pink India"  5:55
Stockton, CA

None of it was my fault, or anything I ever requested. When it comes down to it, what do I really like? The sky is blue, the grass is green, the water is tranquil. I get up, I do something productive to benefit the community, all I want to do is smoke a bowl, listen to music, go see a couple of shows, then go home and fuck my wife. Is that all you really need? It's just more bullshit I'd rather not have to deal with. Do you really need 28 trillion dollars, to buy kitchen gadgets with? The kings have been doing this since the incarnation of humanity. If they were really that special, enough to be ordained kings, they would be able to get by on their own, without the dependence of others, without all the kitchen gadgets. This was a good to time to start thinking about getting rid of the governor, the kings, the heightened security once and for all, because I am tired of dealing with it.

13. Danielson Famile
"Good News For the Pus Pickers"  3:51
Fetch the Compass Kids
Clarksboro, NJ

Quiet somber day at the office. I am 53 years old, I could die tomorrow. The announcer on the radio keeps talking about this that or the other, people responsible for the bad news. I looked over at these people working in the office- I was the supervisor. They were all seated at computers, doing assigned tasks that 93% of existence couldn't give a shit less about. Remember... I couldn't remember the last time I did anything with any sort of relevance. I might look like a jackass, but whatever, I am doing it. I searched for the craziest song I could find on the internet, turned off this announcer, and played the crazy song over the office. Wearing my nice clothes, my necktie, I cranked up the song, stood in my chair, and just let it take me over. I swayed back and forth in chair, danced, and Lord knows I can't dance worth a shit. Everybody looked over and smiled, thought I had lost my hand. After the song, I sat back down and went back to work. Sure, they thought I was crazy, but they still talk about it, think about it and smile- and will for life.

12. Lazycame
"God"  4:29
Glasgow, Scotland

I am but a distorted figure behind a foggy mirror. My face has no definition, my identity concealed. You do not know me, you never did, you never will. Perhaps it was the currency that finally did me in, maybe the goal to leave something behind. I have a monotonous voice, I torment people in their sleep. I am that nightmare that you fear most. Maybe that is why I decided to do it, this was a mutual hate relationship. It was I who crashed that plane into the World Trade Center, crumbled it in the middle of the day, in broad daylight, on one of the most populated regions of the world. I am the person responsible for all that death.

11. Oneida
"People of the North"  6:40
Anthem of the Moon
New York, NY

No longer were we willing to put our lives at risk to protect their pattern, to secure their investments, to allow their international control. We gathered with pipes, baseball bats, and crowbars. Lined up alongside each other, in several rows, we marched down to the corner of 5th & Average, our weapons, prepared for use. Security made a slight attempt to stop us, but we pushed them away, kept walking, ignored them. The people stood and watched as we walked down the street, on a mission, stopping for nothing. Once we reached our destination, the first person swung the steel pipe and busted out the window of the premier shop. It did not stop there, we shattered all the glass on the street, all the windows, the revolving door. We forced our way inside and busted out all the display cases, busted up the merchandise, knocked over the cash registers, destroying anything we could. However, we did not steal one single item of merchandise, it was of no use to us- nor was their currency.

10. Cannibal Ox
"Ox Out the Cage"  3:29
The Cold Vein
New York, NY

Security ran to the scene, but our group had security control. We did not flee, did not run, we created a blockade in their path and dared them to try to cross us. Sure enough, they did, and even drew weapons upon us. But, we fought back, we had them outnumbered. There was only three of them, trying to order us around. We shoved them against the wall, violently. If they tried to get away, we pushed them harder, into the wall. And then we all ganged up on them, it was as if we recollected all the injustice we had to endure. Our group had them cornered, one by one, somebody came to forefront, shoved the security hero against the brick, shouting in his face. Only one person shouted at a time, a few lines, shoved the security into the concrete, slapping him in the face.

9. The Incredible Moses Leroy
"1983"  3:57
Electric Pocket Radio
Belmont, CA

So a lot of shit happened. Lately I've been having these visions, revenge fantasies mostly, these companies had ripped me off, took all my money, money I didn't really have and could ill afford. The air conditioning people really pissed me off, screwed me out of $700. I was fed up, I went on a killing spree, then with the bodies in my trunk, headed to go drive off a cliff and kill myself too. On the way there, I had a minor fender bender. Her name was Dana, she apologized, was going on on saying how sorry she was. Before that, the world appeared like white noise to me, I was stressful, and prone to anxiety attacks. One look at Dana seemed to have solved everything. As she giving all these suggestions about how she could fix my car, I didn't even notice a word she said, the world became clear to me, I could focus, it went from static white noise to hi definition. I just gave her the car and said that she didn't owe me anything, ever. She already had repaid me with just her mere presence.

8. Whiskeytown
"Paper Moon"  4:42
Raleigh, NC

The buildings were all on fire. People were on a rampage, windows were bursting, the world was crumbling down all around us. Airplanes were crashing from the sky, children already dead were about to become heroes. As I walked with Dana, it became beautiful to me. From the busted window emerged a smiling blue peacock, a cartoon image, who gave us a bouquet of flowers. Cartoon deer followed us, and dancing penguins. When I held her hand, the world was no longer the ugly place that it appeared, it looked exactly how I always hoped. We walked the street for several blocks, then miles, soon we were out in the middle of nowhere, and holding hands, we walked from our miserable lives forever.

7. Owls
"Anyone Can Have a Good Time"  5:34
Chicago, IL

{Music Montage} Rapid succession, the sun comes up, the windows replaced, 5th and Average restored. The lights come on, in the homes, the shops. Cars begin to fill the road, traffic lines up, they zoom by, in a perfect pattern that zooms throughout the picture. A man is taking a shower, he peeks from behind the curtain and lip syncs the line, "we fall into patterns quickly"; a woman preparing her kids for school syncs the line, "we fall in patterns too quickly." (the song repeats those two lines over and over again for the final 2:26). Going down 5th & Average, the people walk up and down the street, in and out of the revolving door, driving up and down, past security on the corner, to the cashiers, to the sales associates. As the turn comes about, one person pauses, looks over, and lip syncs the aforementioned line into the camera, different person each time, depending on which line it is on. All facets of the pattern represented. Another person is standing on the sidewalk with his mega phone, shouting to the people, "un-name, everyone, un-name everybody, un-name everyone."

6. The Kiss Offs
"Pleather Pantz"  7:14
Rock Bottom
Austin, TX

Mikey and Julie were the douchiest couple at Target, every other couple was a tie for second. They were proud supporters of the pattern, the commentators, and all the shows they had grown to love. Julie thought it would be cool to do something different. Since the incidents, she heard from students she admired, opinions she did not know even existed. But, since college she had been changing anyway, and becoming more open to lifestyles other than those conforming to that pattern.

They had spoke of a show, a band they had never heard, a venue they had never been. Mother would not have approved. Entering the show, they were douches. Something happened in there. Julie cut her pretty face, Mikey ripped off his disguise, in that front row, they realized their douchiness was but a fabricated persona consisting of elements that conformed with their once heroes on the tabloid magazines. That appearance was destroyed within hours. Coming out of the show, they were their natural selves, actually pretty cool, offered something unique over time. There was no going back to that disguise that walked into the joint.

5. Destroyer
"The Bad Arts"  7:01
Streethawk: A Seduction
Vancouver, BC, Canada

His Grandmother got diagnosed with cancer and wasn't given very long to live. The cancer came as a shock to the whole family, for she wasn't really that old, 72, and still looked and acted youthful (average guess of age was 48). She was the one who held the family together, a large family, and her door was always open to new guests. Because of her, a lot of lives had been affected, and most of them improved as a result. She had some special quality to her, she was completely different than the rest of the world, seriously, completely different. People would often laugh just even thinking about this women who defied most conventions, some of the things she said were so offbeat, and the things that happened to her could never happen to anybody else. One time, the day Boy Scouts were coming by to collect food donations for the needy, she had to run inside to answer the phone, unknowingly leaving the groceries she just picked up from the store out on the step- the Boy Scouts took all of her groceries thinking it was a donation. As people reflected on her life, the only line that could be possibly be repeated to describe her: "You've got the spirit, don't lose the feeling."

4. The Angels of Light
"Evangeline"  8:46
How I Loved You
New York, NY

902 Staghorn had numerous new guests, a lot of people had died. Simply dying did not grant one permission to show up in the bedroom of 902 Staghorn, those fortunate souls got to go elsewhere. In order to show up here, your life had to suck, the story of life did not go as you envisioned it. The formed a semi-circle and listened to the music. Kevin wasn't always a retard. He suffered permanent brain damage as the result of an accident that occurred in the military. No longer could he do the things he was once able, could barely walk, speech was trouble. He just swayed back and forth in his chair, as if affected by the music, recalling all the pain he had to go through.

Rosemary stood up, sang along with background vocals. Her face melted, turned to blood, dripping blood all over the carpet, as she stood there singing. A group of men had violated her, beat her, raped her- they were heroes serving to protect the pattern. She was traumatized. Another group of men assaulted Kevin, even in his condition. They wrapped him up from behind, flung him to ground, kicked the retard, and stole his currency. Both held a grudge against the society they lived in, took it out in a song on 902 Staghorn, warned the residents about what can happen.

3. Brave Captain
"Third Unattended Bag on the Right"  5:38
Nothing Lives Long, He Sang, Only the Earth and Mountains
Liverpool, UK

How long can I endure this miserable life before I decide to finally walk away from it forever. Most of what I do is meaningless, and I long to be somewhere other than here, somewhere different each day, wherever the most essential happenings occur. I wished that I was New York when the towers collapsed, I wished that I was at that show I heard was so great, I wish I could be with you right now, always, forever. The things that I spend most time doing hold no value to me. Work is a waste of life. The 8 hours I spend there each day see me doing nothing I had ever hoped to achieve. The time spent in traffic, does not resemble my desire to change the world. This person I am with does not resemble the soulmate I had hoped to spend my life with. I do not see just 5th & Average, only this city, only this one nation that God should bless, or even only this one planet that God completely abandoned a long time ago. I see an entire universe where the list of possibilities is endless. I wish to go there, I am done here; the possibilities are limited and but a few of them are enticing. I am 39 years old.

2. The Nectarine No. 9
"Susan Identifier"  5:45
Received Transgressed Transmitted
Edinburg, Scotland

I had been given the ability to empathize with others, I could appertain all experiences, and foresee all of the efforts that went into all aspects of the world. I was a good listener, and I listened to all of their problems. Due to this, I knew what was required to make people happy; coupled with the knowledge of what caused despair. Throughout time, I made a habit out of doing the right things, the things that would make others happy, avoiding all traits that impose sorrow. However, I become so involved with the happiness of others, that I was not able to do the things that made me happy. Over time, I do not even know what that would have required. And, I had the ability to visualize a better world, one much different than the one we live in. The one that made all the others I could empathize with much happier, knowing the facets people wished to eschew. One morning I awoke and I realized what it would take to make myself happy, for this envisioned world to become a reality. Another morning I awoke, and it dawned on me that I was never going to see this, perhaps it was impossible. What I really wanted in life... was never going to happen. I am 46 years old.

All characters involved in the story danced freely without a partner for the songs finale.


All is quiet now.

In the building there is a painting on a wall, not in a frame, painted directly on the cinder blocks that builds the wall. In consists of a man studying a single line, which appears as:

          ._________________________. __?
       Birth                                         Now

A man, dressed in business casual attire studies the line, chin in hand, in deep thought as to what it means. Above him, above the graph, is another photograph, in a frame, with movement. There is some sort of a celebration taking place in this picture, people dancing, being joyous, enjoying themselves.

The man pays no attention to the other photo, just studies the one line. It is the "?" that is so baffling, he is attempting to decipher what it means. He moves forward, the line moves along with him, with the same result.  |||___? No matter how long he studies, as he moves, the line simply extends ||___? The "?" remains consistent, no matter what. He tries to back up, the line extends slightly, "?" still there. And then, he figures it all out, he realizes the meaning of the question mark. The moment he does so, he drops dead.

#1. The Strokes
"Someday"  3:07
Is This It
New York, NY

The motionless cadaver is now in the background of the photo portraying the celebration of joy. The man in business casual dress attire lies on the floor, the festivities proceed anyway. He is in the far right of the photo. On the wall, the line continues to extend, the ".__now" portion of the image remains perfectly aligned with the right side of the frame. It keeps moving right, along down the wall, ".__now" remains aligned with the bottom right corner of the frame, "the __?" remains directly in front of the photo as it slides horizontally across the wall. As it slides further and further across the wall, only extending the line to the left (the line to the right, "__?" remains the same length at all times), the motionless cadaver in business casual attire remains lying on the floor in the background, progressively becoming positioned towards the left of the photo, as it continues to slide in the righthand direction across the wall. As it keeps sliding, his stationary position becomes further and further to the left. The festivities keep proceeding as they always have, and soon, the man in business attire is no longer in the picture. Those now in the picture had no idea he was ever even there.

No matter what happens, the future shall always be indicated with a question mark.

END CREDITS: The Strokes
"Barely Legal"  4:37
The Modern Age EP
New York, NY

Written, Designed, and Music Compiled by Tony J. Neal

None of the original songs were ever intended to be used in this type of format.
Descriptions in no way shape or form intended to be a truthful reflection or interpretation of the song or the artist in reference.
All characters and themes completely fictitious and any similarities to actual people living or deceased are coincidental.

Band info and images provided by rateyourmusic (For Sigur Ros, see Best of 2000)
Playlists created on 8tracks

Some situations based on events that happened September 11, 2001- but there is no attempt to factually recount any of it exactly like it happened.

Sections 125-101, and all other portions about 902 Staghorn based on a true story.
Special thanks to all persons who contrived any theory about 9/11 other than what the commentators stated- no matter what side you stand on. Extra special thanks to all people who contrive theories about any aspect of life other than what the commentators stated.

#5, "The Bad Arts" by Destroyer dedicated to my grandmother Betty J. Calvin, also based on a true story.

Bottom Image by: http://riseabovecebu.wordpress.com/tag/cleft-pallet/
Top Image by: http://www.ecodesignz.com/page/ED/PROD/products/ED-02/



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