2011/10/19

The Top 25 Songs of 1994

The Matador + The Top 100 Songs of 1994

Part I: 100-76 "98% of all Bullfights are Exactly Alike"
Part II: 75-51 "98% of all Matadors are Exactly Alike"
Part III: 50-26 "The Charges Have Been Brought Forth"
Part IV: 25-#1 "Disaster is a Matter of Opinion"


Part IV of IV: Disaster is a Matter of Opinion

Press play on the image below to hear the best songs of 1994.


25. Pavement
"Cut Your Hair"  3:07
Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain
Stockton, CA

The event was scheduled to start, and as far as anybody knew, this was going to be exactly like the other 98% of these spectacles. Lasher was finally freed, and permitted to prance about freely in the open court. He was all alone, the crowd actually applauded, for tourists always behave in the exact same manner and are easily amused. An event starting on time is impressive for these people. Lasher appeared so happy, frolicking around the around the court, sniffing out places to hang around.

24. Guided By Voices
"Hot Freaks"  1:43
Bee Thousand
Dayton, OH

Once again, the audience cheered, this time roaring loudly. The matadors in their silly costumes had entered the arena, three of them riding horses. They rode around the rink, making rounds, waving to the crowd while the tourists clapped their hands and took pictures. Luis was the leader of the horseback matadors and put in charge of amusing the crowd. Marco emerged onto the set and his applause was the loudest. On this particular day, he did not seem interested in any of them.

23. Thinking Fellers Union Local #282
"My Pal the Tortoise"  2:48
Strangers from the Universe
San Francisco, CA

Lasher approached the matadors on his own terms; he was curious and anxious to see what this spectacle was all about. Furthermore, he was happy to see the horses; maybe they knew some of his friends from the ranch. The bull was in the process of introducing himself to the horses, and maybe they could make plans to hang out later. But, the people riding the horses seemed more interested in distracting Lasher. They kept waving this silly cape in front of his face. It was very annoying, and Lasher wished they would simply stop, but maybe this was a game and he simply played along.

22. Nine Inch Nails
"Reptile"  6:52
The Downward Spiral
Cleveland, OH

Luis rode around Lasher, and finally removed his lance, and with a forceful blow, hooked Lasher in the shoulders with the blunt sharp object. “Owww! Fuck!” said Lasher as he attempted to flee in pain. What the fuck did I ever do to you people? This is seriously what you are doing for enjoyment? Blood began to spill out of Lasher’s back, and the pain was an intense sting that was only intensifying. He felt so betrayed at this moment, that he no longer had any desire to meet the approval of any of these people. In a lot of pain, Lasher attempted to flee from the attackers. The crowd cheered loudly the moment they saw blood spill from Lasher's wound.

21. Jeff Buckley
"Lilac Wine"  4:32
Grace
Anaheim, CA (1966)-Memphis, TN (1997)

In the registry of bulls, the emoticon next to Lasher is represented with a smiley face. What this means: should any other living creature ever wrongfully do harm to Lasher, then it will send a red alert to The Grand Scheme of Things Board Committee. The room had been glowing green, assuming all was calm. But, the flashing red light and sirens created a major disruption in the balance of the universe; all people had been affected. The person who had committed this atrocious act was Luis, and he had recently received a previous red alert for being a serial rapist. This was no longer going to be tolerated, and after declaring a state of emergency, it was time for The Grand Scheme of Things Board Committee to intervene.

20. Portishead
"Glory Box"  5:07
Dummy
Bristol, England

The gate once again opened, and this time three other bulls emerged onto the stage. This had not been scheduled, and the matadors were confused as to where these other bulls even came from. Four other human members of the matador’s team leaped over the fence to get involved. The gate opened again, and more bulls joined the set. Surprisingly, the tourists cheered. They thought they were going to witness the massacre of multiple bulls. Instead, what they were about to witness was the very first ever fair bullfight.

19. Gravediggaz
"Graveyard Chamber"  4:56
6 Feet Deep
New York, NY

All living objects have the right to defend themselves if they are under attack, and if the attacker has intentions to kill. Lasher had not violated one single member of this audience, nor any of the participants in the bullfight; he did not request to be here. Not just the matadors, but all spectators, and every other human being affiliated with the event were to make certain that the bull be killed. In other words, they were all attackers, and the odds of survival for the bulls was absolutely zero.

18. The Jon Spencer Blues Explosion
"Cowboy"  2:58
Orange
New York, NY

Humans do not like to fight fair. Once the odds had become even for the bull, the humans immediately attempted to retreat from the fight. The goal was to return to the corridors and return later once the other bulls have been detained, tied up, beaten, and contained. They would be slaughtered later. Jack was a huge bald man who was in charge of security. He approached the microphone in the center of the arena to announce to the audience that there were some technical difficulties and the event was going to be temporarily delayed.

17. Tall Dwarfs
"Neusyland"  7:27
3 EPs
Christchurch, New Zealand

As he was making this announcement, one of the bulls charged him from behind. It was a fast artistic glorious motion. The bull struck Jack with his head and flipped him up into the air, and Jack was a massive man. While Jack was in the air, the bull continued to ram him with his head, goring his stomach repeatedly, until Jack crashed onto the ground amidst a pile of dust. The bull forcefully gored Jack again, this time piercing his face, slinging him around again, and Jack was dead in a pile of blood. Suddenly the audience was horrified.

16. Grant Lee Buffalo
"Rock of Ages"  4:15
Mighty Joe Moon
Los Angeles, CA

The matadors immediately rushed to Jack’s assistance, assuming the bull was finished and would simply allow them to tend to Jack. But, the bull did not retreat. In fact, the other bulls rushed to this bull’s assistance, and created a blockade in front of Jack preventing the team of matadors to even get to him. Another bull dragged Jack across the field by his ankle, and flung him into the audience. The tourists were debating whether or not to panic, but were too stupid to make snappy decisions. In the seats where Jack’s body was flung, they could not face him, many turned the other way.

15. Space Streakings
"Noruze Thriller Car"  5:00
7-Toku
Japan

One of the members of the team ordered the group to retreat immediately. They ran as fast as they could to the gate, but it was mysteriously locked. Then the horses began acting strangely, they bucked and kicked until the humans were flung from their backs. Once free from human restraints, the horses evacuated to a different part of the field. Except for one horse, who bit one of the humans on the back of neck, causing intense pain and massive bleeding. The purpose of this was to weaken the human so he could be tormented and killed easier.

14. Dazzling Killmen
"Blown (Face Down)"  5:52
Face Of Collapse
St. Louis, MO

The human who suffered the bite wound was suddenly surrounded by bulls. Once he stood up, one bull lunged him into another bull, who passed him across to the next bull. The man was being bounced around like a pinball, and the bulls were extremely skilled with their passes. Finally, the man was forced to his knees, where he had to submissively accept defeat. Once on the ground, the skillful bulls from The Grand Scheme of Things Board Committee hooked him from the collar of his silly costume and flipped him several feet into the air. The bull posed for photos, and eagerly awaited the landing of the matador. When the matador finally landed, on the bull’s horn, through his chest, the bull ran around the arena in celebration. This matador too was flung into the terrified audience.

13. Die Goldenen Zitronen
"Mexico es EZLN"  3:34
Das BiƟchen Totschlag
Hamburg, Germany

In a fit of panic, the remaining members of the matador team rushed into the bout attempting to restore order. They attempted to utilize all of their skills that had given them success. Furthermore, they had weapons of their own they could use in battle. There was a skirmish in the middle of the arena, with the two parties fighting at close range. The matadors were able to wound some of the bulls with their swords and lances, but the bulls dealt some blows as well, and both parties backed off to re-establish a strategy.

12. Von Lmo
"Cosmic Interception"  3:25
Cosmic Interception
New York, NY

The bulls were now on one side, the matadors with weapons drawn on the other side. Two of the humans had been killed already, so numbers wise; it was an equal 6 on 6. Both parties stared off one another, as they circled around the arena plotting the next strike. At this precise moment, it was the bulls who had become the aggressors, the humans simply wanted to leave. The bulls may have allowed that, but that would only mean more humans would arrive and execute the bulls for winning the battle. This type of human prefers subordinates, it gives them that feeling of domination. Plus, these bulls were hired assassins from The Grand Scheme of Things Board Committee.

11. Kyuss
"Supa Scoopa and Mighty Scoop"  3:06
Welcome To Sky Valley
Palm Desert, CA

These were not normal bulls typically seen in 98% of all other bullfights. They had a specific assignment and knew exactly why they were summoned here. Furthermore, they had not been previously wounded and weakened from nearly bleeding to death. They possessed the swiftness and agility of normal bulls who had never been injured. But, they knew this was not a sport, an art, or any sort of game they should just play along with hoping to be spared. The goal wasn’t to avoid harming the matador, which most other bulls attempt, but rather, display no mercy whatsoever.

10. Spell
"Safe"  3:06
Mississippi
Denver, CO

A matador came up with the idea to distract one with a cape. One of the bulls gladly accepted the challenge. With the type of aggressive rage that the tourists assumed all bulls possessed, the bull charged after the matador who had his sword drawn. This bull, however, did not charge past the matador, but was able to swiftly maneuver himself to remain in front of the matador. The matador attempted a couple of strikes but failed miserably, and kept backing away. Once cornered, the bull charged with tenacity and gored the matador through the stomach, flailing him into the air. After the matador dropped to the ground, the bull gored him again through the chin, swinging him around, and dropping him dead in the corner of the arena.

9. God's Child
"Crucial"  5:31
Everybody
New York, NY

Luis attempted to rescue his friend and charged after the bull with intentions of stabbing it in the back. The bull reared back its hind legs and kicked Luis square in the chest, sending him flying backwards, tumbling across the ground. As he was rolling backwards, a bull hooked his pants with his horn, and ripped off his silly costume. Another bull entered and ripped off his shirt. Luis became a hilarious spectacle to the audience as he was running around the arena completely naked except for his silly shoes and colorful socks. Luis attempted to jump over the fence, but slipped and fell on his bare ass. He jumped right back onto his feet and felt as if nobody in the crowd should find this amusing.

8. Shady
"Sugar Sugar Sugar"  5:31
World
New York, NY

The bulls pursued after naked Luis and tormented him in front of the audience. They repeatedly nudged him and attempted to force him to lose his balance. A bull stood on his hind legs, and pushed Luis to the ground. After he was down on the ground, another bull pounced on top of him, and forced himself onto Luis’s naked body. It was an act of artful dominance. The audience was entertained, and assumed this was the ideal bull they used for breeding.

7. Stereolab
"Anamorphose"  7:33
Mars Audiac Quintet
London, England

The remaining matadors rushed to save Luis, except Marco. They attempted to beat the bull off of Luis by yanking his tail, or even hooking it with a lance. But, the other bulls rushed in to assist their friends. The scene was total chaos as the bulls swiftly piled up the matadors and trampled onto them. Many of the matadors screamed for help, or were in a state of panic. The bulls repeatedly gored each of them and soon the entire fleet was dead except for Luis and Marco.

6. The Veldt
"I Couldn't Care Less"  5:51
Afrodisiac
Chapel Hill, NC

As Marco surveyed the scene, he acted as if he did not care. This had been a long time coming, and as far as he was concerned, they all got what they deserved. During the chaotic interludes, Marco did not rush in and attempt to rescue his so-called friends. He merely watched all of them be slain from the center of the stage, just as he had to witness the horrific crimes they had commit against humanity. He was content allowing the bulls doing justice, and even knew his time was nearing. He couldn’t wait for it to happen actually. Marco knew this was his last one anyway and dreamed of leaving this community. Now, it looked as if he were headed much further than he originally anticipated.

5. Drive Like Jehu
"Luau"  9:28
Yank Crime
San Diego, CA

The audience was shocked as they watched the chaos unfold. Everything happened so fast that they were unsure how to react. In the aftermath of the chaos, which took place abruptly and ended quickly, one of the bulls jumped over the fence and stormed into the crowd of spectators. The very instance the bull was in the stands, the tourists panicked and tried to escape towards the nearest exit. You just see people quickly getting up out of the seats, and trying to get away as quickly as possible. On this day, however, the exits were mysteriously blocked. The bull viciously attacked the tourists, goring each of them with his horns, trampling over their bodies, even slaying their kids. Other bulls leaped into the crowd and continued the onslaught in other sections of the crowd.

4. Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
"Lay Me Low"  5:09
Let Love In
Berlin/Australia/London

It was a rapid assault. The bulls trampled the spectators, intensely goring all of them until every member of the audience was dead. They stomped and destroyed all of the souvenirs, their T-shirts, their cameras, and all other merchandise they had brought to affiliate themselves with bullfighting. Most members of the audience did not even put up a fight, even though they outnumbered the bulls by a significantly large margin; even though many of the men in the audience claimed to have possessed ample bullfighting skills themselves—enough to critique other matadors. The massacre was complete in less than a few a minutes; the hired assassins had basically committed genocide of those who seek pleasure watching animals suffer.

3. Sonic Youth
"Winner's Blues"  2:07
Experimental Jet Set, Trash and No Star
New York, NY

Outside the arena, a large group of bulls had emerged onto the scene. Many of these bulls brought cameras of their own. The assassin bulls from The Grand Scheme of Things Board Committee who were assigned this mission had hung the matadors upside down by their feet, proudly showing the new audience how these tyrants could easily be dominated, in the exact same fashion they attempted to dominate any creature who was not obedient to their set of standards. The bulls posed for photos alongside families of other bulls with dead matadors behind them for the background.

2. Cap'n Jazz
"Basil's Kite"  2:36
Burritos...(full album title here)
Chicago, IL

Luis was spared. It was specified that he live out the rest of his life in humiliation. A video of him being anal raped by the bull was circulated to the rest of the world, and mysteriously put on the internet. Nobody knows who filmed the video. But, the film did also contain a commentary about how Luis and his matador friends would use bull tranquilizers as date rape drugs, and there was even video footage of this. Luis spent the remainder of his life being tormented and the subject of violent hostility from the victim’s friends and relatives. Furthermore, this would nowhere near be the last time he would be raped by a bull. At his time of death, he held the world record for most times being anal raped by a bull, and this was documented in the registry.


The next song is a song that holds a lot of meaning. It’s about those periods where sometimes people lose control of their own lives. No matter how hard they try, no matter what efforts are made, the ship seems to constantly be spinning out of control. You make these attempts to keep this boat above water, and the world around you seems to keep blasting holes in the side of the ship, making it worse. The nose of the ship gradually submerges into the water, the holes keep generating new leaks, and the rest of the crew seems to have abandoned as you struggle to keep it afloat. Then one day, it is no longer worth fighting, you give up hope, say fuck it, let it sink; so long to the captain. Ladies and Gentlemen… So Long to the Captain.

#1! The Sea and Cake
"So Long to the Captain"  5:09
S/T
Chicago, IL

Marco viewed himself as a wounded bull who needed to be put out of his misery. He was the last remaining matador, and he had been scheduled to slaughter Lasher. The fight would still take place. It was Marco who provoked the fight, as if begging Lasher to do him one favor, and sink this ship to the bottom of the ocean. Somewhere along the lines, it was as if Lasher understood what was happening. To make Lasher feel better about himself, Marco kept his weapon drawn, and aimed it at Lasher. Finally, Lasher reared back, and charged after Marco. The moment Lasher charged, Marco pointed the sword towards him and pretended to fight; he just played along with the game. Once Lasher grew nearer, Marco tossed his sword to the ground, spread his arms outstretched, and submissively accepted defeat.

As Lasher was charging, Marco attempted to telepathically communicate to Lasher the proper method to puncture a human for a swift stab through the heart. Lasher acted as this message was heard perfectly clear. But, one thing that bulls and humans have in common: they never get their first kill precise on the first attempt... It’s not what 98% of either were naturally designed to do.


END CREDITS: Motorpsycho
"Beautiful Sister"  4:12
Timothy's Monster
Trondheim, Norway

Written, Designed, and Music Compiled by Tony J. Neal

None of the original songs were ever intended to be used in this type of format.

Descriptions in no way shape or form intended to be a truthful reflection or interpretation of the song or the artist in reference.
All characters and themes completely fictitious and any similarities to actual people living or deceased are coincidental.

Band info and images provided by rateyourmusic
Playlists created on 8tracks
©2011




NC-17 Soundtraxxx Songs of 1994:  100-76  75-51  50-26  25-#1


2 comments:

  1. Your blog is seriously the best thing I've ever read

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks!!! That's high praise- especially coming from somebody who cites "The Stranger" as a favorite book (one of my favorites too and a major influence on the 2008 story "Pitchfork Brigade"). You totally just made my day.

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