The Top 25 Songs of 1993

The Best of 1993 + Perfect Attendance at the High School Reunion

Chapter 1: The Invitation; BBW Lust; 4284 Milaine Drive
Chapter 2: Rock Bottom; BBW Lust 2; The Escape from 4284 Milaine Drive
Chapter 3: Ladies and Gentlemen... Mrs. Connie Hatcher
Chapter 4: The Reunion

Chapter IV: The Reunion

Press play on the image below to hear this selection of songs in this exact order.

25. Penguin Cafe Orchestra
"Scherzo and Trio"  6:56
Union Cafe

The event was getting closer. As the students grew closer to this strange location, they felt more cheerful, eager to reunite with the old acquaintances who were once a major part of their lives. Scully and Baumgartner were both coming as well. They were the lab teachers, and were the exact same size. Let's just say, nobody ever assumed their diet plan was actually working. Hell, they probably weren't even too interested in losing weight. Although these students gave them their fair share of headaches, they were remembered, each of them, and thought about daily. It was going to be a fun day for the teachers too. As for the students, sure they claimed at one point they hated these pricks, but truth of the matter is, they were all just as eager to see Scully and Baumgartner as any of the students...maybe even more so because they are of the age now in which the teachers were when they were part of the class. Yes the teachers were remembered. During problematic times, all of the students would have delusional conversations with these teachers as if seeking advice from a mentor who is no longer present, but once was a viable source for resolving complicated matters. Martino is speaking to them now, as he frolics cheerfully all alone down the boulevard. If it weren't for Stanley getting rear ended by an ice cream truck, Martino would have been back in the asylum.

24. James
"Out to Get You"  4:27
Manchester, England

There is this country called the United States that 99% of the world's population can easily locate on a map. This nation leads the world in many categories, including divorce rate. Of the 20 students from lab class, 17 of them have been divorced, and all of them have experienced some sort of failure in a love relationship or a previous break-up. Some claim this nation is the freest nation in the world (94% of those votes come from the nation itself; 82% coming from voters who vote Republican), and the richest. Yet, it is the money people most often fight over; and the cause of insecurity; people still claim this equates to freedom. The divorce, the break-up, the argument, the abuse...these are by far the most challenging issues to overcome. Many had been split up for years, and still not over it. Crist disappeared over a love relationship gone awry.

23. Bailter Space
"Be On Time"  5:14
Robot World
Christchurch, New Zealand

The location was actually a circle in the middle of The Middle. There was something scheduled to take place at a specific time, and it was Stanley's duty to keep the molecules of the universe balanced so that they would all arrive on time. They were coming from every direction too. If the orders were carried out properly, all persons with an invitation would arrive at the exact same time, and form a perfect circle around the circle in the middle of The Middle. The distance from Rock Bottom to The Middle was a journey met numerous hardships with plentiful rewards. The journey from The Sky, however, was less rewarding. Meetings in The Sky are rare these days, and these students were searching for The Middle- have been all along.

22. Frank Black
"Every Time I Go Around Here"  3:31
Boston, MA/Portland, OR

Stanley's voyage to the reunion was, to say the least, an adventure. Unlike most people who were permitted to drive straight through, his quest was guided with mixed directions and uncharacteristic detours. Furthermore, because he had been given a specific set of instructions to go a certain way, and because his unannounced mission was restore the balance of the universe in order for all members to arrive at the reunion at the exact same time, he was slated to witness numerous disasters ranging anything from exploding Laundromats at stop lights, to stops in the middle of the desert in which nobody was around for miles. Determined to finish this trip, Stanley kept rolling on, and eventually made peace with his mishaps and was able to embrace them.

21. The Breeders
"Cannonball"  3:34
Last Splash
Dayton, OH

Perkins and the girl from Rock Bottom had apparently spent too much of their time discussing problems, misery, complaints, and plans for suicide. The joy had been removed from the car- just as it had been removed from their lives. Stanley can be seen driving 130 mph right now, being chased by a rolling boulder. The boulder never caught Stanley, and he was able to escape. Perkins and the girl from Rock Bottom were travelling peacefully down a city street, when right in front of them, the sewer lid suddenly popped up and a gigantic clown sprang from the sewer. Perkins had to make a mildly dangerous move in order to avoid hitting the clown, his car spun around and he stopped.

"What the fuck was that?"

They looked around and the clown was standing about 15 feet away peering into the window. Perkins gazed back at him. The clown motioned with his hand for Perkins to roll down the window. Perkins did. Once was the window was fully down, the clown threw a pie into the driver's side window and beamed Perkins in the face with the pie.

The clown retracted with more pies, Perkins put it in drive and fled with the clown chasing after him throwing pies at the car, one splattering on the rear windshield, one crashing on the trunk.

Poor little Perkins grew sad, the clown was mean. His face was covered in whipped cream and pie toppings. He did not understand why he was a victim of such a horrendous crime.

In the passenger seat, something happened that had been withdrawn for years. The girl from Rock Bottom was smiling, covering her mouth trying to keep from laughing. Somber Perkins looked over and saw her smiling- "what the hell is so funny." She could no longer contain her laughter. Perkins looked in the rear view mirror and saw he was covered in pie filling. He thought for a moment, glanced over at the girl from Rock Bottom, and with his pie face attempted to startle her: "AHHHHH!!!" He tried to look scary.

She jumped up and screamed. Now, it was Perkins who was laughing; who even smeared pie filling in her face. She retaliated by smearing pie filling on his clothes, or on his car seat. The pie filling was a distraction and Perkins accidentally ran over Peanut Claiborne who was taped together with duct tape- the top of him went over the car, the bottom underneath the car. This was funny too. Both parties were stained, and the car's interior was a mess with pie filling. There would be no more talk of suicide ever again.

20. Royal Trux
"Turn of the Century"  7:04
Cats & Dogs
Chicago, IL

Smithers was far ahead of the others, he was nearing the destination. He approached the event with a swagger, unlike the way he entered class. He was no longer that smelly kid, that poor greasy bastard with an Iron Maiden T-shirt. The instructions required Smithers to dress extravagantly for the event- he wore a cape and carried a dog headed cane. For Smithers, the reunion was met with sort of a grudge as well. Once a victim of assault in the classroom, Smithers was now the only person in the class known to have killed people**- and he has killed several. It was his duty, his job. And, he didn't give a fuck about the lives he had taken. Once upon a time he may have, but he needed to do this in order to give his family the opportunities he never had. His classmates had other jobs as well, they sold out to corporations some of them- or went to jail- they made their choices just like him.

Every person was intended to arrive at the same time. Smithers was near the middle of The Middle. Just a few miles before The Middle, in the direction Smithers was arriving, there was a gigantic rock. His coordinates spoke of this rock, a place to rest for a specified amount of time- quite a long time actually. And there Smithers sat...all alone... in total silence... near the middle of The Middle. He did not sleep, he was not tired. He wondered how long he had to wait, mind drifted to his classmates- attempted to recollect every single one of them and guess what they were doing now... and into the abysmal state of a person he killed. Then, for no reason, he recollected every person he killed in battle and guessed what they would be doing now if it weren't for a society constraint insisting people need currency. People never get over killing somebody. Smithers never had a chance for a decent life...not yet anyway.

19. Butthole Surfers
"Dancing Fool"  3:00
Independent Worm Saloon
Austin, TX

Conley thought he was going to get laid before the reunion. After all, he was instructed to stop at this dance club on the way. It was like heaven when he walked in there- nothing but attractive females, and he the only guy. But, unlike the clubs he used to frequent where they played top 40 "dance" hits (crap like Ace of Bass), this place was playing Butthole Surfers. The women looked so sexy on the dance floor- all of them could move gracefully- almost professional. Conley emerged on the dance floor doing the only dance he knew- "The White Guy." FYI- "The White Guy" consists of zero elegant body movement, and the male pumping his fist into the air pretending to shake some sort of body mass behind the unsuspecting female dancing elegantly. As Conley was doing "The White Guy", standing so close to an attractive lady dancing elegantly, an enormous video screen on the wall displayed Conley in live action. He looked over at the screen, and finally saw how ridiculous he looked. Also, he was able to see the other ladies in the dance club, the one's pointing at him in ridicule, making fun of him, wishing he were dead.

Embarrassed, he walked off the dance floor. He went to the bar, ordered a drink, sat down next to another pretty girl. He introduced himself, shook hands. Conley felt he had to redeem himself after being made an ass of himself on the dance floor. Little did he know, he was on the screen again, this time being ridiculed by the entire audience. As usual, Conley thought he could impress this girl with one of his corny lines—and actually said them to her.

The moment he spoke, the song ended, and Conley speaking this line was broadcast over the loud speaker- and everyone in the place erupted with laughter. The woman next to him openly ridiculed him for a line so incredibly stupid, and questioned whether or not he had any intelligence whatsoever. Soon, all of the women in the place interrogated him, with nasty tones, and verbal assaults. In the Grand Scheme of Things, Conley suddenly realized that his fabricated self he created in order to try and be cool, had no appeal whatsoever to anybody. Then, he wondered why the fuck he even created this persona. The rest of the journey was spent trying to re-discover his natural self.

18. Tindersticks
"Patchwork"  4:41
Nottingham, England

It was a mystery picture in which the viewer had to look closely to reveal the actual photo. Once the riddle was solved, the photo granulated to a tall brick building. The windows opened, and Van Pelt climbed out onto the ledge. He grasped tightly to the gutter pipes as the wind blew his hair. He struggled with his grasp as he looked down at the world below him. This is what he had been instructed to do, to trust the orders. As he peered at street below, the cars passed by, birds flying by him at eye level- he was on the 13th floor- he wished he had not wasted so much of his life tending an elderly woman who, although once loved dearly, was not even of any use to pack of hungry cows. And here he was supposed to jump. The moment was right, he extended his arms, and jumped from the 13th floor.

17. The Hair & Skin Trading Co.
"On Again Off Again"  3:50
Over Valence
London, England

Stanley suddenly found his vehicle too hot for comfort, so he opened up the sunroof. At the very moment it opened, Van Pelt came crashing inside. His entrance was unexpected, Stanley did not even know who it was, and panicked. He slammed on the brakes, cut the wheel, and Van Pelt was flown from the vehicle. Van Pelt flew several feet in the air, and upon landing, the back of his head smashed against a dumpster, creating a loud crash, beheading him, sending his head back into the air, and rolling into the street. Blood was spewing from his neck, but he realized his head was in the road and about to be struck by a car. The headless body, squirting massive amounts of blood, ran top speed towards the road, towards his head. In a slow motion daredevil highlight reel, the body dove out in front of the car, grabbed his head, and then just in the nick of time, rolled across the road avoiding being hit by a car- which honked at him by the way. Van Pelt lied on the ground, re-attaching his head. Once his head was back on, he stood up and walked back towards the road. His head was finally on straight, he could think clearly now.

16. Cocteau Twins
"Oil of Angels"  4:38
Four-Calendar Cafe
Grangemouth, Scotland

The dead and the disappeared were requested to take primarily back roads, with but moderate encounters with mainland society. It had been years since they graced Babylon, and it was met with mixed reviews. There were things they missed, things they were happy to no longer be a part of, if the world was that perfect, then they would still be a happy member. But, the world was far from perfect, and the adventures of Stanley could not restore order all by himself. Crist and Haggerty were martyrs of some sort, their failures surmounted their accomplishments to the extreme death and disappearance was the grand success story. They had been asked to return, walking together, they were right on schedule. Most frequent topic of discussion: what would you have differently? What changes would you like to see made? And, devising concepts about how the world would be a better place if certain elements were altered significantly.

15. Smashing Pumpkins
"Soma"  6:40
Siamese Dream
Chicago, IL

It would be perceived by unbiased spectators that Foster was forced into a marriage after one date with Meta. A significant portion of this is true. On the other hand, Foster has psychological problems, embraces failure, and if not for Meta- who is actually bigger, stronger (both mind and body), and makes significantly more money- Foster would have achieved his goal to die alone and be completely forgotten about. For 10 years and one day, he spent every evening of his life with Meta- partly because she did not allow him to do anything else. However, he is one of the few members of the class who remains married. 92% of the time, he was not happy with this marriage though.

Top three reasons listed as: 1. Desires more freedom; 2. She loves him, and he wants to be hated; 3. He is insecure and is simply preparing for the day in which she leaves him for somebody better- that perception of society that is the male who should be bigger and make more money.

Throughout those 10+ years, it never occurred to him that Meta was, in fact, completely 100% happy. Furthermore, somewhere along the lines in this journey, he realized that it was she who had basically forced him into the marriage. He never could understand why, he was a loser. As he pondered, possibly too far into the matter, maybe she really did like him.

She took good care of him. Then, he wondered how she would feel if he died- all alone- like he always hoped. He remembered the pain he felt when his grandmother died, another person who had lost a parent, some other guy whose wife died in a car crash. Not a single one of them coped with the tragic incident- in many cases it was life altering.

He can picture her smile right now. She thinks he is amusing; the offbeat things he says is adorable. Just a simple memory: the two of them sitting on the couch, with her legs propped over his lap, soft hand caressing his cheek, while he says some ridiculous story about what it would be like if the neighbor's vehicle happened to be stolen.

Suddenly, he was no longer content being away from Meta. Walking alone without her was miserable. He never wanted to see that smile vanish. Rather than reject adoration, he was going to embrace what he had. Dying alone would be cruel treatement to her.

14. Teenage Fanclub & De La Soul
"Fallin'"  4:28
Judgment Night Soundtrack
Glasgow, Scotland & Amityville, NY

Since kicking the drug habit, he lost a great deal of popularity. All of his old friends abandoned him since he cleaned up. The goals to make new friends were never fully realized- it was as if his past decisions lingered and there was no way to shake that image entirely. Rather, the image just became construed and there was no definitive appeal to any party in particular. Back when he did drugs, he was popular, had friends, enjoyed himself. Life off the drugs was a constant struggle, and meaningful friendships became elusive. Nobody even remembers his name. Although a prominent member of Babylon, he had disappeared just like Crist; forgotten about just like Foster once wished he was.

13. Smog
"What Kind of Angel"  3:25
Julius Caesar
Silver Spring, MD/Austin, TX

Popeye/Brown was once in a love affair with a woman he dated off and on in high school. They were married for 23 days. The engagement and the first portion of the marriage were the happiest moments of the life he once thought he had. He came home and found her in bed with some random guy. Devastated, he confided in a friend over a drink to discuss matters. She showed up at the bar with a different guy, making out on a bar stool- obviously she did not care. Even in divorce court, she showed up with a different guy. Brown despised himself for falling for such a despicable act, and questioned both the ethics of humanity, and his own judgment. He lost trust with himself, with the world, and so the grudge was bestowed. Eventually, he drank himself into a stupor and lost control/lost all concern. Aside from the one friend at the bar (temporarily until she showed up with another guy), Brown never related this issue or expressed his own feelings.

12. Pain Teens
"Tar Pit"  3:51
Destroy Me, Lover
Houston, TX

In the back of Kreger's mind, he found Popeye an imbecile and felt he overreacted to some woman cheating on him- after all that was a long time ago, and they were only married a lousy 23 days. Everybody has been cheated on- all. But, there was more to the story. Smithers and Brown never hung out in high school, but now they shared something in common.
** "This does not leave this car. Let me tell ya man, that bitch pissed me off. She used me, you know. Maybe I had some pride back then, maybe I was just pretending to be macho- I don't know. I followed her around, and I saw her again. Get this shit, with another dude. I'm like God damn! How many mother fuckers does this bitch have. So the bitch calls me like two weeks after the divorce and says she's pregnant- the baby is mine. I'm like: what the fuck? You don't know this- it could be anybody's. She went on and on about how I needed to be a better father- tried to put a guilt trip on me.

Kreger, man, this bitch was unfit to be a mother. This was the type of bitch, smoking crack, fucking half the town, probably a hooker for all I know.

Once again, I followed her. I knew the route she was taking, I disguised myself, hid in the alley, got myself a brick. She came around the corner, and I launched that brick with all my might. I drilled that bitch right in the stomach- that was the end of that fucking baby!

Then I heard her crying, trying to sound like she was so sweet and innocent. It pissed me off. I went back to her, grabbed her by the hair, dragged her back down the alley, put the brick in my hand, and finished her off. Left her a bloody mess right there in the alley."

Kreger was stunned to hear this, and had no idea how to even respond.

"I got away with it, but, I don't think I will ever get over it. I was so paranoid, every time I saw a police officer, another person, I was certain that they knew what I had done- that they were coming for me. I don't even know if I was even wanted. Then emerged the guilt, and that was worse. I killed her, that's difficult to face. I sometimes wondered what would have happened had I just raised the damn baby and let her ass go. Well, there was nothing I could ever do to resolve the matter- there were no answers. It is what it is. It consumed me, and I turned to the bottle. Now, I just stay drunk, removed myself from the world- I don't deserve to be in it. But, I can't turn myself in either. That's what I do, I live on the streets- drunk- trying to forget the worst crime and can't believe I was the one who did it."

People never get over killing somebody.

11. Stereolab
"Golden Ball"  6:52
Transient Random-Noise Bursts With Announcements
London England/Bordeaux, France

"I've been shot over a thousand times," Kreger told Popeye.
"Yea," Kreger said laughing but telling the truth, "it's my job. It all began one day, I'm just walking down the street minding my own business, and this lady stops me and asks if I want to earn $1000. I'm like shit yea! So, she takes me into this bank right, says I fit the description. Turns out, its a movie- right. So, all I have to do, is stand there and act like I'm filling out a deposit slip of some bullshit like that- quietly, I don't have to talk ever. She tells me what I have to do, its easy. So these people come into the bank, dressed in these military suits- bulletproof, fireproof- a high powered operation. As they're walking in the door, all cool and strutting, they cock their rifles, and enter the bank.

These cats don't take any shit whatsoever, and ain't here to negotiate. They come in shooting. Cock the rifle and shoot me while I'm filling out the deposit slip. So I have to act like its real- they had this fake blood on, and I had to be like "ahhh!" and fall down dead.

They were so impressed with my ability to get shot, I was hired to be in other movies. Yea, I've in like 1000 movies. I'm not credited in any of them though. You ever see in movies, mostly action movies or war movies, where some random person gets shot and drops dead- and doesn't have any other part in the movie? (laughs again) That's me! That's my job."

Popeye laughs, eased the tension, "no fucking shit! You're for real."

Kreger laughs again, "yea. I get paid anywhere from 200-1000 dollars just to get shot. It's like I get up, take a shower, go to work, have coffee and all that shit. But, rather than answer phones are go to meetings, I just get strapped up with fake blood, somebody shoots me, I drop dead, collect my check and go home. It pays the bills."

Popeye looks stunned for a moment, then laughs out loud- it was the first time that had happened in years.

10. Melvins
"Hag Me"  7:07
Montesano, WA

After having his head put on straight, Van Pelt realized he had wasted too much of his life being too nice- doing things he did not wish to do- it prevented his happiness. Maybe his head wasn't on that straight, but he decided he no longer had to be nice to anyone nor do anything he did not wish. He went to the store, an old woman was coming out, he held the door. But, she was taking too long- thus another old person preventing his happiness. Van Pelt slammed the door in her face and knocked her over. A bum approached and gave him some spiel about how he needed 39 cents to catch a bus. He was going on and on with some tragic story about how he had some bad luck, lost his wallet- it was ridiculous. Without speaking, Van Pelt got him in the headlock, wrestled him over to where the bus was stopped, and forcefully threw him onto the bus- paid the fare- the bum was stuck on the bus now. There was yet another set of instructions.

Van Pelt walked over to the house where the address was indicated on the instruction form. Apparently, these people were a nuisance to the community and Van Pelt was asked to utilize his newly found lack of kindness. He retrieved the garden hose from the side of the house, turned it on, and walked over to the front door and rang the bell.

The moment the woman answered the door, Van Pelt squeezed the trigger and sprayed her directly in the face with her own garden hose. He stormed into the home, still with the hose. Van Pelt proceeded to drench all of her furniture, sprayed everything in the fridge and freezer, the stove, the fireplace, and into the children's room where the kids were taking a nap. He drenched them little bastards too.

9. Wu-Tang Clan
"Bring Da Ruckus"  4:13
Enter the Wu-Tang 36 Chambers
Staten Island, NY

Helton, Foxworth, and LeeRoy the alligator were cruising down the road making good time. LeeRoy cranked up the stereo- Wu-Tang Clan, and the group bounced up and down in the car, taking turns rapping. Being an alligator, this was LeeRoy's favorite song, and he emphasized the line for his rap: "I'm straight out the swamp!"

Soon, they had company. The family from 4284 Milaine Dr. was not giving up that easily. The top half of Peanut Claiborne suddenly slammed against the windshield, pounding on the window, ordering them to pull over.

The family awaited in the distance, perched behind the bushes and their tractors with rifles.

LeeRoy swerved and sped up attempting to steer Peanut Claiborne off the window. As they approached the corner, the family ambushed, jumped out of their hiding spots, and fired their rifles at the oncoming vehicle.

Stanley stopped at a fast food restaurant, they messed up his order, he had to turn around and go back.

Some 20 odd people fired rapidly at the vehicle. Coincidentally, not a single bullet hit the car. Instead, every bullet fired hit Peanut Claiborne- who was tossed into the air, spun around, and repeatedly shot from both sides, bouncing through the air like a pinball. Finally, the gunshots stopped, and Peanut Claiborne landed in the middle of the road, standing upright, from the waist.

"You mother fuckers can't shoot for shit," Peanut yelled at the group. The moment he said that, blood poured like a fountain from all of the holes in his body from where he had been shot.

"God damn it Peanut!" yelled the store owner, "that's a whole mother fuckin' pack of Band-Aids you owe me now. Next time I ain't putting a Band Aid on you and your ass can sit there and bleed."

"Fuck you mother fucker," said Peanut laughing, "learn to fucking shoot. Shit, you shot me. If I shot you, I'd give you a Band-Aid."

8. Yo La Tengo
"Big Day Coming"  7:05
Hoboken, NJ

The reunion was scheduled for tomorrow, and all parties were in fact close and pretty much on schedule. There would be just a brief travel in the morning, and in the early afternoon, all students would be gathered in a circle in the middle of The Middle. In the late evening, people somehow received individual last minute instructions, and what they were supposed to do for the event. Truth be known, nobody knew where these instructions were coming from, and did not speak of them. They had no idea what to expect at the gathering either. As they lie awake at night, motionless and quiet, they could not help but think about what was in store. Eventually, sleep was no longer as important- they could not wait to get to the event. All of them were up earlier than anticipated, without the alarm. Around the same time that morning, they all embarked to finish this journey.

7. Rollerskate Skinny
"Some Give Birth"  4:09
Shoulder Voices
Dublin, Ireland

There was a specific set of instructions that absolutely had to be followed upon arrival. Just like in school, there was going to assigned seating- or in this case- assigned standing. Each member was designated an allocated spot, and if they followed the directions precisely, they would arrive to the middle of The Middle right at the exact location they were supposed to stand. Very important- life or death: there was to be no talking until every single member was present. This came equipped with adverse threats, warnings of removal, and possible execution of the entire group. It was told that all persons were anticipated to arrive at the exact same time- so this should not be a problem- not like it was back in school. And aside from the reunion of friends and former classmates, there was going to be an important announcement. The announcement was essential to their lives, and they had to listen. It contained everything they ever needed to know about life.

6. Masters of Reality
"Moon in Your Pocket"  3:29
Sunrise on the Sufferbus
Syracuse, NY

The moment had finally arrived. Unfortunately, Stanley was never perfect, and some believe total balance restoration for the universe is completely impossible. But give Stanley credit, his mishaps kept the world aligned just enough. At the exact same time, most of them did arrive, and at the exact same spot they were supposed to stand. And yes, unlike in class, they did follow the instructions, nobody spoke. The first ones to arrive looked around at each other, smiles were exchanged, nods. The circle was rather spacious too- 20 feet in diameter. Each individual would be relatively close to the person standing next to him, but the person directly across was fairly distant- out of reach, but could be seen or heard easily.

There were still a few empty spaces remaining, with other people still gathering. They looked around at each other, first noting how so many people had changed. They wondered what each other had been doing lately. They wondered who the fuck was the alligator?
And my how the stars have fallen. Some of the students who were once the most popular were no longer beautiful. Some of those who were not popular at all blossomed. It did not seem anyone looked exactly the same.
Burton and Smithers were assigned to stand next to each other.

5. The Boo Radleys
"Butterfly McQueen"  3:28
Giant Steps
Wallasey, England

Foster was a walking contradiction, everybody assumed he was going to be late. He was the most beautiful in high school, and was still the most beautiful now. Of course, he didn't have as many hardships- although he was seeking them. Instead, he had spent the past decade being pampered and adored by an overly protective wife. He was also the most free-spirited, yet he was the one on the tightest leash. He was cute, but he had the most disturbing thought patterns. Perhaps it was this disturbance in his mental chemistry that gave his beauty that distorted edge- that made him stick out from the others. When he approached the circle, everyone smiled, they could not keep their eyes off of him actually. He smiled back.

4. Shrimp Boat
"Smooth Ass"  3:21
Chicago, IL

The teachers arrived at the same time, across from each other in the circle. Minutes passed, there was still no speaking- three empty spaces remained still. As the time passed, they looked around at each other still. The smiles were abundant, but look what they had become. There were many hardships present in this circle. Some of the smiles turned to tears- both tears of sadness and tears of joy. Being together did bring back fond memories, but they had just completed a journey in which much was discovered about themselves. Some cried because they were disappointed in what they had become; cried because they missed the days of carefree joy, missed their friends; some cried because they felt sorrowful and sympathetic for how some of the others turned out. It was Burton who shed the first tear, the #1 thing he regretted most in life was that day he drilled Smithers in lab class. And here he was now, standing right next to him. None of them were ever perfect; some had done a lot of bad things in their younger days, things they regret. Through all the years in which they no longer needed to impress each other, they involved themselves in things that would not impress anybody. But, they were together again- one couldn't help but get emotional.

3. The Afghan Whigs
"I Keep Coming Back"  4:52
Cincinnati, OH

The dead and the disappeared were the next to last to appear at the congregation. This sparked more emotions because many knew Haggerty was dead; Crist had been gone for some time- and here they were again, in the middle of The Middle, rejoining their friendship. Crist smiled at first, happy to see everybody, but looked across the circle and saw the girl from Rock Bottom standing next to Perkins, staring over at him. It had been years since he last saw her, and all of the hardships he ever endured in life was because of his love for her. He could not look away, he still loved her dearly. Perkins understood, he smiled towards Crist, towards Rock Bottom girl. Seeing her now made him think about all of those memories they had together, and how he thought they were going to last forever.

There was a period in his life during the disappearance where he almost hated her, resented her leaving. Then one day, he realized it was all his fault. Like with the rest of classmates, seeing the girl from Rock Bottom brought both joy and sadness. Crist could not control his tears either.

Neither could Haggerty, nor the sight of Haggerty. He had been dead for several years. This is what he had left behind. Being dead, he regretted not doing this sooner or more frequently. Too much of his life was spent dealing with issues out of his control that ultimately led to the overdose. He did not die how he wanted to, nor when he wanted- now had no desire to any longer be dead. He could not help but wonder if this was going to be his last contact with the human race.

2. Butterfly Child
"Queen Glass"  4:27
Belfast, Northern Ireland

Who was left? That last spot. Ah, that crazy fool Stanley. He pulled into the circle with flames shooting out of his hood. What a journey he must have had- the crazy fucker always did have strange luck. They were all present now, yet none of them spoke, they continued to observe each other, just take it all in. Most tried to smile, and some couldn't help but smile. They all tried not to cry, but some couldn't help it- some did not cry however. Not Kreger, he smiled the whole time. Each person looked at every member of the group without saying a word, laughter and tears was the only greeting. As the emotions were surmounting, Burton could not keep from looking over at Smithers. Burton's eyes were swollen red, Smithers were cold. Finally, Burton hugged him, the first word murmured was "sorry."

It was finally Popeye/Keith Brown who spoke first. "Well, it looks like I'm the only one here who turned out worth a shit."

That cleared the tension, brought forth some laughs. Helton shouted back, "hey. Do you still have that Hardee's shirt?"

Popeye laughed, "I don't even own any shirts."

Smithers called out, "speaking of shirts, look what I brought." He opened his bag and revealed his old ass stained Iron Maiden T-shirt. Everybody laughed, applauded, and cheered. Smithers was now a superstar.

#1! Mercury Rev
"Meth of a Rockette's Kick"  10:29
Buffalo, NY

From an aerial view, the scene was just as surreal as it was serene. An outer circle of parked vehicles, one of them with flames shooting out of the hood. Inside that circle, the circle of friends, laughing, enjoying themselves. It was that rare moment #483 in which all men were in fact created equally. This is what they had become. Compatibility for one moment: 100% all across the board

In the middle, the circle, glowing red, it was the middle of The Middle.
The circle on the ground glowed red, steam began to rise, and an elevator carried a man to the surface. He was a white man, balding, and he had a series of note cards containing the announcement he was going to read to the group.

All the students, teachers, alligator looked around at each other in bewilderment. Each one of them asked another: "who the fuck is this?"

The man stood behind a podium that floated in mid-air and prepared to make the announcement. "Hello everyone."

The students all used to heckle Mr. Baumgartner when they were younger. In a strange twist of fate, it Mr. Baumgartner who disrupted the early part of the speech. "Oh, blow it out your ass!"

Everybody laughed just the way they did in high school. Mr. Baumgartner was now cool, that was unexpected. The man behind simply laughed too. He waited for everybody else to stop laughing, and began reading the important announcement.

END CREDITS: Mercury Rev
"Boys Peel Out"
Buffalo NY

Written, Designed, and Music Compiled by Tony J. Neal

None of the original songs were ever intended to be used in this type of format.

Descriptions in no way shape or form intended to be a truthful reflection or interpretation of the song or the artist in reference.
All characters and themes completely fictitious and any similarities to actual people living or deceased are coincidental.

Band info and images provided by rateyourmusic
Playlists created on 8tracks
Top Image By: Wikipedia + My Personal Facebook Page
Bottom Image By: Orange Torpedo


NC-17 SOUNDTRAXXX SONGS of 1993:  100-76  75-51  50-26  25-#1


  1. Replies
    1. The announcement was the key essentials of life for each the characters standing alongside the glowing red circle in the midst of swirling guitars from Mercury Rev.

      I left it unresolved because I have considered following up this story with My Name is Earl-style redemption narrative for all the characters involved, and what life became for each of them after hearing the message. It would make a nice series I think. Coming soon.

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