2011/10/19

The Top 25 Songs of 1992

The Best of 1992 + McQuestion Marks???

Chapter 1: The Most Famous Restaurant in the Galaxy
Chapter 2: Worst Case Scenario; A Party Gone Awry
Chapter 3: Merle's First Day on the Job
Chapter 4: Vultures and Empty Saviors

Chapter IV: Vultures and Empty Saviors


Press play on the image below to hear this selection of songs in this exact order.



25. Sonic Youth
"100%"  2:29
Dirty
New York, NY

There were four attractive females approaching. "Hey," I said to the first girl in the group, "where have you been?" A quick answer, she asked if I had been looking for her. I told that I have been searching for her my whole life, "I've never told anybody this before, but there is just something about you...I've had this image in my head of the woman, you know, my ideal woman... and I think you might be her." Taken back at first, she was flattered and in the middle of her response, I cut her off in mid-sentence, and went to the girl walking behind her in the group. "Hey," I said flirtatiously, "how are you? What's your name?" She told me her name, and I told I think I am in love with her. The girl in the front looked confused, this other girl started to say something, but I interrupted, and went over to a different girl in the group. "Hello. You know, I've never told anybody this before...but (I repeated everything I said to the first girl)." She replied, "get the fuck out of here,” and shoved me down into a patch of thorn bushes.

24. Guided By Voices
"Exit Flagger"  2:20
Propeller
Dayton, OH

I'm not really a prostitute. But, if you could help me out with $10, I'll suck your cock. It's not like that, really. I've just fallen on hard times; this guy owes me $20. My father just passed away, and I am getting an inheritance. You see, I used to be a stripper. Do you know what that means? I would take my clothes off, and in two or three hours, I would earn $1200. I am doing a private party this Saturday and I am getting paid $5000- that's a lot of money. Look, (she showed the driver a Medicare card) with this, I get half off bus fare. I need a week's worth of bus rides, and a pack of cigarettes, so actually $11. I've never been a slut, a whore, nothing like that. I just need $11, so let me suck that cock.

23. Sebadoh
"Cry Sis"  2:52
Smash Your Head on the Punk Rock
Amherst, MA

I feel as if I am degrading myself. Back when I used to be a stripper, I could make $2000 in two hours, and there were always bouncers, so I never had to worry about guys touching me- except for the one's that wanted to go to a private room, but they were willing to pay $600, $700, $2000 just for me to dance for them for half an hour. I always drove nice cars, I had a Dodge Stealth, I had a brand new Mitsubishi, I always drove new cars. I am going to get a new car as soon as I get my inheritance. (At press time- she did not have a car period...just a bus pass discounted with Medicare.)

22. Röövel Ööbik
"Practically Perfect in Every Way"  5:11
Popsubterranea
Tallinn, Estonia

Me too. I used to have nice cars; this piece of shit that we are sitting in is not even mine. I had a Mercedes Benz, back in the day. Hell, I used to willing to pay $100, $200, $10,000 for a blow job. These days, I do not even know what the average price for one is. I used to be a business consultant. Do you know what that means? People would pay me to review their stocks, make investments—I’d make $1200 just like that. Two hours of work, I'd come home with $10,000—I could have bought a new car every day. I don't know, it goes by so fast. Right now, I don't even have $11 for a blow job. My check engine light is on, and I actually need a quart of oil. All I have is $9. You take $9?

21. Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
"Loom of the Land"  5:07
Henry's Dream
Berlin, Germany/Australia/London, England

She looked distraught, as if she were about to cry. He looked concerned, as if he genuinely cared about her problems. She started to say something, but the words did not come out. Finally, she did cry. He just looked over at her, not saying a word. Her cell phone rang, she answered, "OK" was all she said, and then hung up on whoever just called. He kept glancing at the clock, somewhere in the back of his mind wondering if he even had $9. Both wondered how, exactly, they got in this situation in the first place. Aside from the aforementioned $11, neither knew exactly what they wanted...perhaps they were avoiding being home alone and there was nothing else better to do at this moment.

20. Rage Against the Machine
"Township Rebellion"  5:24
S/T
Los Angeles, CA

Then came the operation: Occupy Old World Third Street. This is the street that has those clubs with those people that hang out there. Other missions included: Occupy 6th Street in Austin and Occupy Mt. Lookout in Cincinnati. Prior to becoming a replica of that one replicate businessman, they were once replicas of people they saw on TV, and hung out at the club that played all the bad music, such as Take on Me by A-ha. They were the spoiled kids whose parents, that middle management business man + the daytime TV housewife, paid for every one of their expenses- they never even had to think for themselves. Seeing this as the root of the ultimate problem, the gigantic indestructible deer invaded all the clubs, destroyed all the top 40 tracks in circulation, and burned the black dresses every single female was wearing. The goal: do not allow them to ever get to Wall Street.

19. Kyuss
"Mondo Generator"  6:16
Blues For the Red Sun
Palm Desert, CA

Not every person who frequents the douche clubs succeeds at becoming the middle management business replica as they always hoped. There are those that became accepting to the fact they never became that business replica, nor ever married one. In fact, they are happy that it never happened, for they realized they possessed a different pattern of thinking, and obtaining currency to buy material possessions no longer had the same appeal. They grew to despise the bros n hoes on the strip- not because they are jealous, but because they find many of them utterly brainless. Although many in society view these adults as failures because they do not earn the wages of the businessman; or odd, because they are not fans of typical mainstream material, they tend to look younger, act younger, more hip than even the housewife's teenagers, considered strong-minded, strong-willed, independent, and intellectual. And, these women can kick your ass. Greed is not their primary motivator, nor bought into any of the philosophies that it should be.

18. Nine Inch Nails
"Wish"  3:47
Broken
Cleveland, OH

There are those who never become middle management business replicas, and it ultimately disturbs them. Money is, in fact, their primary motivator, envy #2. Due to the fact many of their classmates own homes, live in subdivisions, pass out out candy to trick-or-treaters, the wife does not even have to work, some people will view themselves as failures because they did not become this. Many assumed they did everything right. Their parents paid for everything, they went to the same school, hung out at the same strip clubs, and never had to think for themselves. After a few twists and turns, perhaps exaggerating to earn a position that required thinking, and then being incapable of handling that task... these people did not make it to middle management. And because they never had to think for themselves, they never devised another option.

17. Brainbombs
"Urge to Kill"  3:46
Burning Hell
Hudiksvall, Sweden

One major component in the downfall of some members of this portion of society, is the woman whose top 3 motivators are: #1. Greed, #2. Envy, #3. Sloth. Please note that Lust is not listed. These women want money, want to be like the Thompson's who were the "most popular" people on the block, but they do not want to work for it- getting a regular job is not an option. They sought a man with money, but, that's all she cared about- nothing else about him mattered. Therefore, he finally left her. She realized, however, men were willing to pay for her body- easy work (sloth)(lust not listed). This woman took a job as a stripper; men paid her money (average $25/hour maximum 3 days a week). She did not realize it was short-term. The man with the most money, the one she liked, frequented the place 4 days a week, often paying more money to the women who did list lust as primary motivator #1. Envious of her, she went to the next level and attempted prostitution- lust still not listed, only Greed, Envy, & Sloth.

16. The Dead C
"Constellation"  6:42
Harsh 70's Reality
Dunedin, New Zealand

Truth be known, most women could be erotic dancers, prostitutes, or porn stars if they really wanted to be. However, due to a perceived code of ethics, a significant portion will not because they feel it is morally wrong. Others will not because they are insecure about their looks and do not think they are attractive. Some women do not because they do not wish to be perceived negatively by their friends or family members. And, there are those who are in a relationship and their partners do not allow it. This leaves but a small percentage of women left who would actually do these things. Survey indicates: 12% do it for lust, 6% do it for pride, 3% do it for envy, 1% wrath (to piss off their parents) and a whopping 78% do it for money. 89% of the ones who do it for money, have the exact same personality traits and characteristics.

15. Shrimp Boat
"Rock Me Baby"  4:42
Duende
Chicago, IL

Bailey is, as the replicas like call it, a slut. Lust is her primary motivator #1. She began indulging in sexual fantasies at an early age, and with no desire or intentions on ever attending college, took a job as a stripper at age 19. Bailey did not take the job as a stripper as a means of making money, simply put, she took an occupation she thoroughly enjoyed, and happened to make money doing so. After being a stripper for a short time, she moved on to better things, posing for nude photo shoots, and then, starring in pornographic films. On average, Samantha has sex with close to 500 different men and women each year. She earns $43,000 annually, and has travelled around the world posing in various erotic photos and starring in adult oriented films. Most importantly, she is completely happy with herself, fulfilled her natural aspiration, and thoroughly enjoys her life. Can you say the same?

14. The Work
"Eat"  5:37
See
England

(To the guy with $9) I did it for the money. You know, $5000 is a lot of money. Back when I drove that Dodge Stealth. {A remote control was pressed, and her natural self came out of her body}(As narrated by her natural self, who had been secluded all these years) Mom married dad for the money, she did not want to ever have a job, never got one, stayed at home, and dad ("the fucking loser!" as interjected by a misconstrued fabrication of her natural self in the background) left her. Dad, actually, had his act together, mom did not- but, she was more fun, less of a disciplinarian, let me do what I want. I went to live with my mom, although my father opposed- then later had nothing to do with me- his new wife- my step-mom ("bitch!") became more important, and had other kids ("miserable fucking brats!"). Mom still never got a job, and after my father stopped paying alimony, she had no more income. I was 15, but she could not work. Instead, she spent her time searching for a new man with money. She taught me that I never needed to work, I was a pretty girl, and that a man will give me anything I want. Mom smoked crack ("what!), she would often disappear next door, come home acting strangely, with enough money to pay rent.

13. Roger Waters
"Perfect Sense, Pt. 1"  4:16
Amused to Death
London, England

There exists 10 motivators; 7 primary/3 secondary. The seven primary are the seven deadly sins, the three secondary being Faith, Fear, & Hope. These motivators, even in moderation, are the basis in which people strive to succeed- and this can be on multiple different levels. If a person's #1 goal is to make money, than Greed is the #1 motivator. What comprises a person's personality depends on how the individual ranks the 10 motivators, and the rating number (out of 100) affiliated with each. Me, for example, mine goes as follows: Lust- 93, Pride- 92, Wrath-59, Sloth- 31, Greed- 28, Gluttony- 4, Envy- 0/Hope- 81, Fear- 52, Faith- 30. Each person's ratings should be different, and it is encouraged that all people conduct this theory on themselves to find out what is actually important. It's obvious an obese person may score the full 100 in gluttony/a serial killer could earn the 100 in wrath. There are 19 people who score 50 for everything, but most people have at least one aspect in which they rate over a 90- this defines your passion. The current condition of the world, and what is happening in the news may alter the general consensus of your own soul search however.

12. Moose
"XYZ"  5:05
...XYZ
London, England

But, I believe there is also another one, although the person who developed this theory may disagree. Addiction. It is hard to list addiction, particularly when dealing with a substance such as crack, as gluttony, because most cases are not born with this addiction. This is a trait that has been developed, often as a means of coping with past failures. Also, with these addictions, especially crack, it takes precedent over all other motivators. In some cases, the crack addict will disregard all other motivators in order to fulfill the addiction for crack. The listing is rated as: Crack addiction- 100, all others normally a 0, but may fluctuate in relation to crack. For example, if the police harass them for crack- Wrath becomes #2, need money for crack: Greed #2, An excess of great crack: Gluttony #2. Pauline has good crack, this dealer dog shit: Envy.

11. The Black Crowes
"Sometimes Salvation"  4:47
The Southern Harmony and Musical Companion
Atlanta, GA

Welcome to the world of "Rock Bottom." When all else has failed, and the blame can be pinned on many, self-abusive addiction becomes prevalent. 100% of the thought processes involve smoking or scoring crack, and other attempts to discuss anything else is a phony deceit in order to feed the addiction. She spoke of earning $5000 in one night; false dreams and misconceptions used to deceive another; hope for money for crack. If he could help her out with $11 tonight, then maybe chauffeur her to the event in which she will earn $5000, he could make $600 just for driving her to and from the event. It was easy money- "guaranteed." There would also be another girl accompanying them...(2 sketchy guys for the ride back: this part was not mentioned.)

10. Drop Nineteens
"Kick the Tragedy"  8:56
Delaware
Boston, MA

I was lost, and had been lost for quite some time. I was also confused, I had no clue what I really wanted out of life. I was 19. There were issues in my life, complications, shit I had no control over. I was alone, in this crappy suburb, I wanted out. It seemed hopeless, all of my peers hated me, my parents hated me, I felt as if I was hated by the world. I took the bus downtown, I could just evaporate here, maybe I fit in better. I'm not sure how it happened, something about a prostitute, a bag of crack, other drugs. She told me how beautiful I was, nobody had ever told me that. And that, I could make $5000 in one night- because of my looks- I could get out of the sub-division, I could change the world. I showed her my breasts, she said they were most beautiful she'd ever seen- that I had gorgeous nipples. $5000 should be no problem.

9. Ride
"OX4"  7:06
Going Blank Again
Oxford, England

I'm 31 years old, fairly overweight, I work long hours at the office. Somewhere along the lines, my looks deteriorated much more quickly than I would have hoped. It's like one day I looked in the mirror, and there I was...a fat guy with a balding head. I lacked the social personality to compensate for my lackadaisical appearance, and finally, I stopped caring. My life was my work, and I stopped going out. I was out the other night, just strolling around; I figured I had to do something. As I was cruising down the road, some woman I had never seen was flagging me down. Maybe she was in trouble; I pulled over to see what she wanted. She said she just needed a ride up the road. The woman got in, gave me directions, turn here, turn here, make a left at the light.

8. Blumfeld
"Zeittotschläger"  3:16
Ich-Maschine
Hamburg, Germany

She asked if I was cop; she said I was handsome; she grabbed my cock. It made me feel good about myself. We turned down the rode, she informed to pull over, said she needed $20. Confused and infatuated at the same time, I gave her the $20. She pulled out my cock and gave me the best blow job I ever had...or so I thought, because it had been 2 years since my last one. It didn't take long, admittedly, but that was the best $20 I ever spent. She was nice too, I confessed how long it had been, and we shared a nice laugh- which too added to the pleasure. I dropped her back off where I picked her up, waved goodbye, and went home with a smile. I don't really see how this should be illegal.

7. Vermonster
"Return to the Apex of High"  12:52
The Holy Sound of American Pipe
Boston, MA

Logan is a rich man, though Greed not a primary motivator. The ratings for Logan: Lust-100; Wrath-100. This is potentially a deadly combination, and subject to violent rape. However, Logan is not a rapist, and throughout his history, does not even have one single questionable situation that could be perceived as rape. Because he is rich, he spends a great deal of money on escorts, strippers, and prostitutes. He views these purchases as business transactions, and expects the same customer service that his organization provides and has earned him millions. Ideally, Logan would only do business with those who are fulfilling a passion, and simply doing what they are naturally good at doing. Unfortunately, these services are illegal, and it’s not as if he has the ability to shop around before purchasing a service- unlike the air conditioner repairman. And unlike Wal Mart, if a customer is unhappy for any reason, there is an objectionable no refund policy. Furthermore, factor in crack addiction, there is a great deal of potential scams due to the fact that the police cannot get involved. What had never been realized, however, is that most police officers do not rate a 100 in Wrath...meaning: the police may be a safer option than an irate Logan, who is prone to launch full-scale assaults on those who have wronged him.

Logan is an honest businessman, customer satisfaction: 99%. The other hand, click here to see plumbing contractor who jipped Logan out $2000 and never even properly repaired the problem...then got involved in a tirade insinuating he had the right to rip off anybody.

6. Spiritualized
"Sway"  6:54
Lazer Guided Melodies
Rugby, England

Logan did not have the time nor patience to be in a marriage or a serious relationship. Furthermore, he liked variety. By choice, he would have sex with a different woman each night. After he had sex with a woman once, he would rather move to the next one, rarely slept with the same woman twice. His neighbors would constantly spot women coming over, in and out of his home all day on his days off. Other times, he would drive around at night and pick up random prostitutes, sometimes even travelling to other cities to cure his desires. He was passionate with his love making, even if he had never even met the woman. Prostitutes listing lust as a primary motivator rated him #1 customer- he was clean, great in bed, and paid well. If a woman does not list lust as a primary motivator, then she should not be a prostitute...and perhaps realize that crack addiction destroys brain cells, and the scams are not going to work as swiftly as they conceptualized.

5. Blind Melon
"Drive"  4:41
S/T
Los Angeles, CA

It had gone full-circle. He spent his college days hanging with the bros on Old World Third Street; he was a failure, disliked, and spent most of time using people for rides, and various other schemes to obtain money without having to work a job. People finally grew sick of seeing him, talked negatively about him behind his back, and finally stopped associating with him altogether. But, he still wanted money, but never wanted to work...in and out of jobs, next a gambling addiction...and he sucked at gambling and was now $10,000 in debt. Now, he had been swindled out of his last $9, did not receive the blow job, and was en route to drive an ex-stripper with below average looks and a naive 19 year old to some event with hopes on earning $5000.

4. The Wedding Present
"Let's Make Some Plans"  3:32
Hit Parade 1
Leeds, England

Logan wanted to fuck the 19 year old, who may or may not have been willing; she was not permitted to decide. This older woman, the ugly one, interjected and insisted the 19 year old girl need not be subjected to such villainy. It could have raised the $5000. Here's the deal: there was never a guaranteed $5000. The top dealer in the city was attending a party with lots of booze, drugs, any type of drug you wanted. The $11 hooker was not even formally invited, she heard about it in the process of blowing this dealer for a small rock. After she smoked the crack, she heard about the party, said she could come to the party and dance/strip for all the guys there and make money. To be nice, the dealer simply said, "sure," not expecting her to actually show up. Truth be known, nobody at this party was even remotely interested in seeing this aged crackhead in the nude, and definitely would not pay for it. She used the 19 year old, knowing people would be interested in her. Ultimately, she was uninvited, and unwelcomed.

The one who actually became interested was Logan, who actually experienced love at first sight for the first time ever. Before the 19 year old had a chance to respond, aging crackhead stormed in and confronted Logan. What ensued was a nasty altercation, names called, "bitch" "dickhead" and the two women being thrown out empty handed, without a single penny. Except, two other guys joined, had some crack, and the $11 prostitute offered sexual favors in return for the crack. Four people emerged into the car, penniless, with a former bro with a $10,000 gambling debt expecting only the two women and $5000.

3. Boredoms
"Molecicco"  2:48
Pop Tatari
Osaka, Japan

Wrath: 100. An argument was taking place in the backseat over a dispute about a blowjob and a rock of crack- which was apparently poor quality and cut with baking soda; the guys with the crack argued the same about the quality of the blow job the old one would give, and they wanted the blow job from the 19 year old who was not even offering. A truck in front of this vehicle slammed on its brakes, and the former bro had to come to a screeching stop. Another vehicle nearly smashed them from behind, leaving them sandwiched. People emerged from both vehicles, approached the vehicle with the crackheads, opened the doors, shot all five people in the car multiple times in the head, leaving the car's interior a bloody mess. The two cars pushed the crackhead car off to the side, and fled. A different car pulled in behind the vehicle.

2. Pavement
"Trigger Cut/Wounded Kite at 17"  3:16
Slanted and Enchanted
Stockton, CA

The other vehicle that entered stopped its car and turned out the lights. A man calmly emerged from the vehicle, opened the trunk, and all five bodies in the other vehicle were removed and placed in the trunk. After all the bodies were removed, the vehicle calmly drove away and off in the distance. This was Larry's vehicle. He worked for Logan, and was paid amply. Work such as this had become routine for Larry, it was not a bad way to earn a living. In college, Larry never did fit in with the bros, nor the punks, for that matter, nobody. Larry had no friends; it was as if he did not even exist. He was perfect for this job.

#1! Smashing Pumpkins
"Drown"  8:16
Drown Single/ Singles Soundtrack
Chicago, IL

There was nothing that angered Logan worse than a woman pretending to be a prostitute just to feed her crack addiction. In fact, he despised crackheads period. Should a woman pretend to be a prostitute, and then offer bad service to Logan as a result of crack addiction, simply put, he had them killed. And, it reached the point where he was assassinating random crackheads. There were so many assassinations that Larry actually became his highest paid employee. But, Larry too had a dilemma. You see, he was a poor communicator, but a great planner. However, these bodies began mounting and places to get rid of them were becoming scarce. Also, Larry was making massive amounts of money; to the extreme it could be suspicious to the tax collector. In an attempt to resolve two matters at the same time, Larry took a large portion of that money, and opened his very own McDonald's franchise.

END CREDITS: Pavement
"No Life Singed Her"  2:09
Slanted and Enchanted
Stockton, CA

Written, Designed, and Music Compiled by Tony J. Neal

None of the original songs were ever intended to be used in this type of format.

Descriptions in no way shape or form intended to be a truthful reflection or interpretation of the song or the artist in reference.
All characters and themes completely fictitious and any similarities to actual people living or deceased are coincidental.

Band info and images provided by rateyourmusic
Playlists created on 8tracks
"Primary Motivators" concept devised by Geoffrey Woolf
The Black Rabbit of Death and Owsla: "Watership Down" written by Richard Adams
There is not one ounce of factual evidence in any of the stories relating to McDonald's...parody, not to be taken seriously. Also, there is not one ounce of factual evidence relating to prostitutes, crack dealers, roadkill cleanup assistance, any occupation other than Wall Street (yet), and for that matter, no factual evidence period. All survey results, and The Grand Scheme of Things Board Meeting are fictitious and fabricated.

©2011





NC-17 SOUNDTRAXXX BEST SONGS OF 1992:  100-76  75-51  50-26  25-#1


Part IV influenced by Stephanie Sednaoui for direction of The Black Crowes video, Sometimes Salvation, starring a smoking hot Sofia Coppola and one the top few best music videos ever. The video pre-dates both Traffic and Requiem: For A Dream by nearly 10 years; transgressive video... especially for a band enjoying mainstream success.


3 comments:

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  2. I have just downloaded iStripper, so I can watch the best virtual strippers on my taskbar.

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