Chapter 1: The Great Thomas Pilsbury Film
Chapter 2: Sex Vs. Violence
Chapter 3: Extravagant Footage From the Motherland
Chapter 4: Animal Rights Activation
Chapter IV: Animal Rights Activation
Press play on the image below to hear this selection of songs in this exact order.
25. Ennio Morricone
"Il Buono, Il Brutto, Il Cattivo" 2:56
The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly
A bounty was put out to capture all of the animals who had escaped from the zoo, coupled with reward money. Among those hired to round up the renegade zoo animals who had no business running free in this country was none other than Lester Conway. For nearly a year now, Lester had been making a name for himself making films of animal predators chasing down and eating its prey. Now, he was skilled in the art of pursuit, lessons learned from the wild.
24. The Who
"Boris the Spider" 2:28
A Quick One
The spider exhibit instilled the most fear into the community. Allison spotted a rare spider in a restaurant and opted to retreat amongst a pack of hungry lions instead. What she did not know was that the lions and spiders were working together. Once they realized which of the two was more terrifying, it was the spiders who commanded the march to escape from the city. They wanted no business in this country period, especially not in a zoo. Unfortunately, many of the spiders were stomped upon and smashed before they could get away.
23. Booker T. & The MG's
"My Sweet Potato" 2:47
A couple of these humans seemed OK, this one seemed willing to help, but always seemed to filming things with his strange video recorder. Rumor had it that he was some sort of bestiality pornographer and had a wide collection of animals doing it in the wild. Pilsbury viewed the animals escaping as a chance to do more conclusive work and get some excellent footage. He fed them in return for services; the services being able to film them mating in his bedroom.
22. The Ventures
"Batman Theme" 2:15
The police had a group of chimpanzees on the run. They chased them down a few city blocks and finally had them cornered in an alley. Right about the time the cops were getting ready to apply the handcuffs and read them their rights, the vampire bat exhibit stormed into the scene. The bats flew around the heads of the police officers, the chimpanzees apprehended their guns, slapped on the cuffs, and left the two officers handcuffed to each other in that alley.
21. The Beach Boys
"Wouldn't It Be Nice" 2:25
Randy and Margaret, two ostriches, met while running from zookeepers in the wild. The two nearly made a daring getaway, but were snared at the last moment. It was a feisty chase in which the human captors claimed gave them a great rush. Since, the two had been plotting a daredevil escape, and had been uncooperative at the zoo. Here they were on the run again, this time madly in love. They shared the same dream of freedom, and thought about nice it would be to live in peace without anybody trying to capture them.
20. The Lovin' Spoonful
New York, NY
Tonya finally went into to heat, and the lucky rabbit that was able to hit it was Vern. Afterwards, Vern was in a state of bliss, and this was regarded as the best day in his life. He blew off the day and took a walk in the sun. Today, Vern was in an extremely pleasant mood, and it showed as he smiled. Another rabbit named Alex commented that Vern seemed in good spirits today. Right then, all the other rabbits in the cafe started playing instruments, and Vern hopped around on all the tables singing this song.
19. The Walker Brothers
"Hurting Each Other" 2:44
The two grizzly bears were nearing the edge of the forest, and it seemed as if the long road had finally ended. It was in the middle of nowhere, and there was not another human in sight. Even though they were out of reach of human civilization, Lester had come all the way out this way to set a trap. In one step, Barbara was netted and hurled into the air. Greg was trying to get her out when he was shot in the back with a tranquilizer. The unfortunate couple was headed back to the zoo. Perhaps it was now when they realized they loved each other, no matter the circumstances.
18. Simon & Garfunkel
"Sounds of Silence" 3:06
Sounds of Silence
Forest Hills, NY
On TV, the news announced that the zoo needed help, that they were trying to protect the animals, the animals could not live on their own in the wild, had a better life at the zoo, and needed rescued. Gradually they started getting re-captured and taken back to the zoo as people started turning them in thinking they were doing them a favor. Once back at the zoo, the rescued animals grew somber and wish they had a way to tell these people they would rather be elsewhere.
"It's All Over Now, Baby Blue" 3:52
Belfast, Northern Ireland
Only a few animals were left in the free world. However, although not in the zoo, they were far from free. They had to live their lives constantly retreating from humans who would stop at nothing to get them. Furthermore, they had all been aware that their friends had been captured, some of them killed. At times, it felt as if they should just give up and go back to the zoo. All was lost, and they never knew what they did to deserve a life like this one.
16. Baden Powell
"A Chuva" 4:44
Rio de Janiero, Brazil (1937-2000)
Melvin the monkey was digging through a dumpster behind Pick n Save gathering all of the produce that wasn't really that spoiled. Once he came out of the dumpster with the groceries, up ahead, he saw the most traumatic thing he had ever experienced. There was his wife, Louise, captured by the zookeepers, and being detained in the back of a wagon. Melvin could only watch in tears as his lover was hauled away. She waved at him from the back, and urged him to go on and be free without her.
Velvet Bossa Nova
Melvin was not able to come to grips with this, as the image of Louise in the back of that wagon tormented him in his sleep. He was a smart monkey; surely he could devise a scheme. Then, he wondered how some of the animals in this world were allowed to just roam free, particularly these rabbits. Popco informed him that he had no logical explanation for this. Ned did, however. He told Melvin that rabbits were too common and zoos had no interest in them, and that there were so many of them. When Melvin asked how this was possible, Ned invited Melvin into his home and showed him some of Pilsbury's films, and how there came to be so many rabbits. Melvin concluded, We just need to fuck more!
14. Bob Dylan
"Rainy Day Women #12 & 35" 4:38
Blonde on Blonde
Duluth, MN/New York, NY
Thomas Pilsbury had become one of the least popular persons in society. The police would constantly harass him, the church ordered him to hell, and his neighbors would throw stones at him as he walked down the street. As a result, Thomas developed a grudge against society, their government, and all the other fallacies that came along with it. Furthermore, he opposed all of the other animals being sentenced to the zoo.
13. Otis Redding
"Everybody Makes a Mistake" 3:23
The Immortal Otis Redding
Dawson, GA (1941)- Madison, WI (1967)
Benny was the largest most powerful gorilla in the entire world. Once upon a time, he was a dominant factor in the jungle. One evening he was out, and his girlfriend, Denise, was captured and taken to the zoo. This was several years ago, and Benny still struggles with this, and has been in a bout with depression ever since. He often reflects on the mistakes he made and wonders what he should have done different. Each day he looks around the Jungle hoping that Denise will come back to him.
A crane who had escaped from the zoo flew all the way to the jungle just to find Benny, who, as usual these days, was passed out from drinking way too much the night before. The crane awoke him, spoke urgently about a zoo, a major upheaval in the city, and Denise. She was OK, but had been detained again. Benny being the largest most powerful gorilla in the world would be a huge help. The crane pulled a ploy of his own, and Benny was captured and sentenced to the zoo...on purpose. Once landed in the city, the cranes with the assistance of a talking rabbit, a monkey, and a transvestite, Benny was loose.
11. Don Covay
"Precious You" 2:43
Benny, Melvin, Popco, Ned, Herman, The Crane, and Thomas Pilsbury were all seated in the living room smoking cigarettes trying to think of a plan. They saw Tonya and Vern out on the back porch and it made Benny and Melvin think about their lovers. Melvin put on a pair of sunglasses and started playing a tune on the piano. All the others, except Benny, started playing other instruments. Benny stood up in the living room and sang the song with feeling, love, soul, and emotion. Melvin too was emotional and chimed in some background vocals periodically. Vern and Tonya watched from the windowsill.
"Monk Time" 2:46
Black Monk Time
Carl one of the zookeepers was driving peacefully down the road. Then, from out of nowhere, the music was fast loud and furious. A gorilla leaped into the road right in front of the wagon. As Carl slammed on his brakes, the truck spun out of control and crashed into a group of parked cars. Benny stormed in, punched out the window, and yanked Carl from the seat. Melvin entered the wagon and opened up the back door, where Benny got in. Pilsbury put on Carl's uniform and hopped in the driver’s seat and sped off. Ned, Herman, and Popco followed in their vehicle behind them.
9. The Fugs
"Coming Down" 3:49
New York, NY
Melvin with his uncanny skills opened the kitchen window and snuck inside the home of Lester Conway. He opened the front door and let the others in. Lester was downstairs; the group went down to greet him. There was Lester, watching films about animals he captured and sent to the zoo. He was greeted by unsuspecting visitors who said hello to the grief bird, what's happening. As soon as Lester turned around, Benny punched him, and the party ransacked his home, destroying his films and taking all the money he earned from capturing animals and returning them to the zoo. They captured Lester, and was now taking him to the zoo.
8. Astrud Gilberto & Walter Wanderley
"So Nice (Summer Samba)" 2:46
A Certain Smile, A Certain Sadness
Jim-Bob the camel and Roberto the elephant were in no mood to give a bunch of screaming annoying kids trips around the zoo, especially since enjoying a few days of freedom. However, they were similar to trustees in prison, and were at least allowed to roam around the zoo outside of the cage. The Crane flew in and informed them both that there was some serious shit getting ready to go down, be ready. Jim-Bob and Roberto had been jokingly planning something for years anyway. They went over and pooped on the parents, plopped the little kids down in the feces, then laughed hysterically for several minutes. The zookeepers laughed too.
7. The Seeds
"A Faded Picture" 5:20
Los Angeles, CA
Greg was feeling remorseful about being back in the zoo. He remembered how beautiful Barbara looked when they first met, those feelings of careless bliss, hanging out in the woods by the stream. All he wanted was for those days to return. While she was sleeping on a rock in which was created for them as a part of their "natural" environment, which "natural" never included a bunch of tourists taking pictures, Greg reminisced on the old days, singing a song, with memories flowing through his head (the black bears in the next exhibit sang backup ("come back"). His song however was interrupted by a noise from the back door, and his song immediately segued into the opening riff of...
6. The Kinks
"Sunny Afternoon" 3:35
Face to Face
The disgruntled biologist was back! With the keys! Since his last excursion, he was robbed by the IRS, interrogated by the police, dumped by his girlfriend, fired from his job, and all of possessions repoed. He no longer cared about anything and was in an exceptionally good mood. He had help this time… and in broad daylight. He walked around the zoo, singing this song, letting all the animals out, while doing cart wheels and a dance routine. The animals would all join in behind him, in a circle with their faces close together to sing, "in the summertime."
5. Buffalo Springfield
"For What It's Worth" 2:41
Los Angeles, CA
They all knew it was not going to be easy. The war erupted, as the mayor and the police took the side of the zookeepers because that's what the TV told them they should do. This time, however, Popco led the assault, for he was able to communicate with both sides and knew how things operated. One by one, the exhibits were demolished, the office building set on fire, and the animals destroyed the entire zoo before leaving it. Intellectuals from society joined in as well, protesting the mayor, the police, and the policies of the zoo.
4. The Velvet Underground
"Sunday Morning" 2:56
The Velvet Underground & Nico (1966 Single)
New York, NY
This time, it was the humans who had to watch in defeat. The zoo was burning to the ground, the gates had been crashed, and the individual houses had crumbled. Due to the fact the zoo was still open for business and there were a lot of children and visitors present, the forces were unable to even do much. Furthermore, many of the patrons took the side of the animals and assisted in the destruction of the zoo. While all was being destroyed, the zookeeper staff just sat and watched with their heads sulked.
3. The Beatles
"Tomorrow Never Knows" 2:57
Unwilling to admit they had done any wrong whatsoever, the mayor called in the national guard who was awaiting in the streets with the riot squad prepared to use violent force against the unruly animals. Instead, they were greeted by other humans, who stormed into the streets, and a full-scale riot followed. Before they had a chance to open fire on the animals, they were under attack by animal rights activists who lit cars on fire and violently assaulted the forces. Soon, the entire community got involved and were protesting things other than the zoo; the mayor's tyrannical policies mainly. The police assumed they had the right to order everybody to cooperate with the mayor, but civil disobedience forced the police to retreat.
2. Burt Bacharach
"Walk on By" 3:02
Hit Maker! Burt Bacharach Plays His Hits
Kansas City, MO
At what point do the authorities deem themselves as a failure? Even amidst a full-scale revolt, where it is obvious the policies have no support whatsoever, governing authorities will utilize this as a moment to abuse their power even further. Rather than admit errors in their policies or work to create a new plan that benefits more people, or simply do nothing at all, governing authorities, all of them, respond to protest with repression, scrutinize the participants in the revolt, belittle their desires, and enforce even more strict policies to ensure a revolt like this will never happen again. The skeleton played the piano while the city streets burned.
#1. Question Mark & The Mysterians
"96 Tears" 3:00
The mayor referred to the animals and their supporters as terrorists, Communists, and cowards. These people were crippling the freedoms of this country by denying zoo captivity. It did seem strange to the mayor that his press conference seemed so vacant. He gave his speech anyway. Backstage was Benny. Although uncredited, Thomas Pilsbury was the first person to successfully videotape a corrupt politician getting pounced by the world's largest gorilla. On the island in which Ned had more than enough money for the entire group to escape, they all watch this video every year to celebrate the day they all escaped.
END CREDITS: Emil Richards
"Sardonyx (August)" 2:09
New Sound Element "Stones"
Written, Designed, and Music Compiled by Tony J. Neal
None of the original songs were ever intended to be used in this type of format.
Descriptions in no way shape or form intended to be a truthful reflection or interpretation of the song or the artist in reference.
All characters and themes completely fictitious and any similarities to actual people living or deceased are coincidental.
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Bottom image by: Inmagine