Part 1: The Original Plan A
Part 2: The Re-evaluation
Part 3: Laundry Chute
Part 4: Desperate Measures
Part 5: Plan DD- Because Plans A-Z, AA-CC All Failed
Part 6: Plan DD- The Ultimate Miracle
Part I of VI: The Original Plan A
Press play on the image below to hear this set of songs in the exact order.
150. Franz Ferdinand
"What She Came For" 3:52
Tonight: Franz Ferdinand
Plan A was simple, and by all means should have been successful. It was time for a career change—I was miserable at my old job. So, I did everything right, everything a good person was supposed to do. I went back to school, earned my degree, put in ample notice, and got the fuck out of that miserable life once and for all. There was nothing in store for me but prosperity and the beginning of what would be: “glory days.” Yes, life was to be perfect.
149. Florence + The Machine
"Kiss With a Fist" 2:04
The initial hours of prosperity were not met with the elegance I had anticipated. Unfortunately, that dream job position I was hoping to land was not available anywhere. Furthermore, the relocation wasn’t exactly fruitful either, for this city was, to say the least, a disappointment. Thinking I was going to be hailed as some sort of celebrity, particularly because I had my degree now, and ambition, it was somewhat the opposite. I went through phases where I felt as I was the most hated human being on Earth. That’s OK, I remained positive, steadfast, eager to win them over and enjoy the prosperity that was awaiting me.
148. Amen Dunes
"In Caroline" 3:21
Then, the economy failed completely. It was basically deemed that there were no positions whatsoever in my field, and that dream job I was eagerly hoping for had been completely eliminated. The only thing I could possibly do was wait for somebody to die, and then fill that position after the funeral—that is, assuming out of the stack 246,000 applicants I would miraculously no longer be the most hated human being on Earth. It was doubtful this was going to happen here.
147. Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeroes
Up From Below
Los Angeles, CA
For the 4 millionth time in my life, I had to resort to Plan B. Let’s face it, I wasn’t making any sort of a splash in this city, and I hadn’t been here that long, so it’s not like I was attached. That dream job would have to be put on temporary hiatus, and perhaps I could just get a job that I liked. But, this place was not my home. Once again, I packed up all my shit, and sought my newfound glory days in a different region of the Earth.
146. Grizzly Bear
"Southern Point" 5:03
New York, NY
In the midst of all of this, I had sold many of my personal belongings just to have some extra money. Then, I had to sell a few more in order to fit everything I owned into my tiny car; and I did just that. In-between travelling from one city to the next, I decided to return briefly to my former hometown to pay a visit to old friends, relatives, and work for a couple weeks at an old job in order to obtain some more cash for moving expenses. The goal: once I obtained some more money, two lousy weeks, I could move again, and seek out the job I liked, and eventually that Plan A dream job would come soon enough.
"Silver Clouds" 4:30
Problems began to mount. There were some issues with my degree that I needed to straighten out; took care of that. Turns out my ex left me in some hardcore financial obligations. My credit was mysteriously ruined, and creditors were coming after me for shit that I didn’t even have. I hadn’t even seen this woman in a long time, and all the crap she owed money for was in her possession- there was no way that I was going to pay for needless purchases that I didn’t even own. Plus, my monkey ass didn’t even have a job- in this economy.
144. Pink Mountaintops
"The Gayest Of Sunbeams" 4:11
Vancouver, BC Canada
With everything I owned in my tiny car, some bitch pulled right out in front of me, my vehicle totaled. Her insurance agency was a major rip-off as well, for they did not give me nearly what my car was worth; claiming they go by a different report, and do not give dealership value because dealers are seeking profits. The insurance company is obviously just seeking profits too. I wanted to throw a brick through their window, admit I was at fault, and then send an adjustor over to look at their totaled window. In return, I would compensate them significantly less than what the window was worth, and site that I only had to pay for the window itself, not at dealership value because glass stores are seeking profits, and in no way liable for installation of the window. Furthermore, it may take 4-6 weeks before the window would be fixed. I sited miserable pricks like these insurance scams committed by the insurance companies themselves as a huge reason for the failure in the economy. Would also like to add that I did not support any bail-out whatsoever, and hoped this insurance company would be the next corporation to go out of business.
143. Porcupine Tree
"I Drive the Hearse" 6:44
Hemel Hempstead, England
In no way shape or form was I prepared to leave yet, I still had some unfinished loose ends—the insurance settlement, dealings with my exes past debts, etc. But, mentally, I was not able to stay either. In fact, things began to pile so high that I was contemplating cashing in my hand and putting an end to it all right then. The problems were too colossal, too abundant, and there was no way I was able to deal with all of them. Instead of doing that, in a much bigger piece of shit than what I had before, a car with an enormous hole in the floorboard, I packed all of my belongings and went to another city—one I had previously visited, one I loved. Or, you could say, I ran from my problems.
142. ...And You Will Know Us By the Trail of Dead
"Bells of Creation" 5:24
The Century of Self
In the Grand Scheme of Things, Plans A & B remained the ultimate goals. However, for this relocation, I did not have the abundance of savings at my disposal, and my car was a pile of junk. Furthermore, I had some medical issues lingering from the car accident and had to visit a specialist periodically—luckily, I did not have to pay for that. There existed a hopeful notion that I was going to receive a settlement for my medical expenses and that was potentially a large sum of money. But, that was off in the future, and I was not about to hope for sympathetic handouts until that moment came- which could have been up to two years.
141. The Beets
"The Devil" 2:06
Spit on the Face of People Who Don't Want to Be Cool
New York, NY
Rather than assume I was going to be immediately liked, which failed miserably in the previous move, or spend hours at a time searching for places I had no clue where to even find or knew nothing about, Plan C was but a temporary phase. The goal for Plan C was to just find any job, get myself acquainted with this city, possibly meet some new people, learn some things and go from there. Ideally, Plan C should have lasted about one month. Being as the future is always represented with a question mark, who knows, maybe even by then, the economy would improve and I could move back to Plan A.
"Here Comes the Sky" 4:15
Summer of Hate
San Diego, CA
Plan C turned out to be a brief stint of “glory days”: My Life as a Gas Station Attendant. Ideally, I would have no other ambitions, no other goals, and the perception of Gas Station Attendant would be lucrative and prestigious. In some circles, it was. This was the ideal time to just let myself go temporarily. The job was decent enough—saved me from having to spend time searching for other positions. Rent paid. Due to all my past problems, I deemed it important to indulge in more recreational activities in order to Eternal Sunshine some unfavorable elements of my past—the problems that I eluded by relocating. Recreational activities such as meditation, drug use, promiscuous sex, and other pleasures that was appropriate for living in this type of community. I could have turned to Yoga, but going out on the town every night was more fulfilling.
139. The Postmarks
Memoirs at the End of the World
There were some success stories to be made with Plan C. I did make numerous new friends, learned a lot about this city, and best off, the city lived up to its billing- everything I hoped the previous city would be, but wasn’t. Or, maybe it was because I had let myself go, abandoned hope, and sought out experiences in the mind expansive nature that seemed to make everything better. And, it did make everything better. I no longer was overly concerned that my car was a piece of shit, that I had lost all my material possessions, no longer an office job with benefits, and took some pleasures in my newly found life as Gas Station Attendant.
138. The Temper Trap
"Love Lost" 3:36
The duties of Gas Station Attendant are both rewarding and stressful. And, in some cases, the rewards are also stressful. It requires dealing with the general public on a daily basis. Meaning: thousands of conversations each and every day with thousands of people. Apparently, most Gas Station Attendants act the exact same way. Should one not act this exact way, particularly in a situation in which one no longer cares about perceived necessities, and has taken up the notion that the #1 most important item in life is to go out and enjoy it unlike ever before as a means of running from problems, then there is the potential to be considered memorable by customers, and eventually adored.
137. Miike Snow
Soon, I was recognized every place I went. There were benefits, for sure. I no longer had to pay cover charges, and was considered a hot item for single women. But, I did not like being known as the Gas Station Attendant, which crept up periodically. Worst yet, many of these people remembered me, but I did not remember them. Some took offense to this, women in particular. Do you remember me? I was in the Gas Station three weeks ago buying cigarettes. Fuck no I don’t remember your ass. But, I had to pretend as if I did; some of these women could be vicious.
"I Need an Ocean" 3:13
The Buffalo Still Roam
New York, NY
There were phases where I would question the decisions I had made. This applied to numerous aspects. The obvious one was developing Plan A in the first place, leaving a good job, and having any hope whatsoever of bettering myself; followed by leaving without tying up my loose ends. Eventually, it was with everything, to where I could sing “I just made the world’s worst mistake” pretty much every day. I would wake up to thoughts such as…wow, I got really fucking stoned last night, and I quit smoking weed years ago. Holy shit, I totally just fucked that girl who comes in and buys cigarettes every day—what the hell do I do next time I see her; and what happens if she comes in at the same time as the other girl with cigarettes, the world’s worst mistake from last week.
135. Them Crooked Vultures
"Dead End Friends" 3:16
Los Angeles, CA
Not everybody who comes into the Gas Station is smoking fine babe, or a super cool individual who becomes a friend. There are some annoying mother fuckers who frequent these places. Homeless people are the worst, and if you give some of them any sympathy whatsoever, they will take full advantage of the situation, assume you are best buddies, and potentially ruin everything. Dirty stinky hippies always outstay their welcome. Some people will actually hate Gas Station Attendant just because he is well-liked—and attempt to belittle the person. Speaking of women, not all of God’s creations are beautiful. Occasionally some really ugly ones become stalkers. Unfortunately, hate to admit this, but I fucked a couple of them.
Gas Station Attendant can be a subject of grotesque sexual lust. Unfortunately, during the phases of Plan C, a few blemishes on the record came to the forefront. As confessed, I was going through a phase where I wanted enjoy myself in excess due to the fact I was recently so close to ending it all. I can say that I do have a winning record in regards to getting out of undesirable situations, but not a perfect record. That said, I accidentally fucked a few nasty people. Had some good ones, but I had to avoid going to places in which the gross, fat, neurotic, psychotic, clingy, ones frequented. At least I didn’t do anything with the homeless guy who was outside masturbating staring at me through the window.
133. King Khan & BBQ Show
"Truth or Dare" 2:38
Montreal, QC Canada/Berlin, Germany
Eventually, I had hundreds of stalkers. Furthermore, I was getting out of tune with the optimistic goals in which Plan A originated. There were also numerous death threats from the homeless assholes. Simply walking down the street, I was getting harassed by these people. The Gas Station even got robbed once. While there were numerous benefits, friend factors, celebrity status, all of that shit, I began to question why in the hell I was still there. Once upon a time, I had walked from a “real job” in search of a new life; Gas Station Attendant wasn’t what I had in mind.
Kingdom of Rust
As time passed, I sought a few changes. I started dating one of the stalkers, although I did not know she was a stalker at the time. She fit the bill on what I was seeking in a multitude of attributes. With her around, I was no longer required/permitted to fraternize with other girls from the store. So I settled down with her a little bit, and she was growing weary of me being known everywhere I went. With her, I decided it was time to focus on my original ambitions. Although I must say, that period of living it up was fantastic, and was still in the future: Glory Days were going to be better than I ever visualized. I was now prepared to move forward, and thought everything was going to be wonderful.
131. Franz Nicolay
"Quiet Where I Lie" 3:02
New York, NY
The weather was getting better. I knew my way around town, and I knew lots of people. In my mind, I had it set out in places I would rather work; places far better than the Gas Station. I was once presented with some opportunities, but did not take them at the time. There were other goals and motives to work at the Gas Station, and many of them were actually in progress. The main goal of Plan C was to meet people, and at least that portion was effective. However, it was time to write a new chapter.
"Where to Begin" 3:40
My Electric Family
Christchurch, New Zealand
Back to Plan A, I decided fuck this shit. I put in my two week’s notice at the Gas Station. This came as a result of a confrontation with 14 people in which the police had to get involved. I’m not the police calling type person. Furthermore, this job was not worth all the harassment. If all the homeless people were disposed of, then it would not have been that bad. But, people eventually grow tired of death threats for $8.50/hr. The goal was to work out these two weeks and during this span, find a whole new job and start all over again. A good job.
"Uda Hah" 6:31
The 2nd version of Plan A did not have much of a chance to unfold. The district manager of the Gas Station was some fat imbecile with a lazy eye, lazy appearance, and lacked the mental ingenuity that came with his paycheck. This person and I never got along. Simply put, I was popular in the community, he wasn’t. And, he had heard the stories. He accepted my notice, but stated I need not work out the two weeks, and the notice was effective immediately: claiming there were people who steal and engage in mischievous behavior during their final days. Perhaps he thought I fit that type, and believed the jokes in which I was supposedly going to show up for work butt naked with my nipple pierced with my name badge. Any person who took that seriously has serious issues.
"D.C. Trails" 6:57
Chapel Hill, NC
Unlike last time, I had no surplus of money whatsoever, just my last two checks. Therefore, I did not have time to wait it out and patiently go through all the process to land that Plan A job. Therefore, I almost immediately resorted to Plan B. There were lots of places in this community that would be considered a cool place to work. Plus, I knew some people, some managers, and had a good reputation. Each day, I was up early in the morning, searching for a job, filling out numerous applications.
"High Class Slim Came Floatin' In" 8:15
Beacons of Ancestory
If I had been granted those two weeks, or had some cash saved up, things would not have been so urgent. But, I needed a job today. There were, seriously, none available. The 2nd version of Plan B quickly had to be disbanded also. At least, I had the applications submitted, and in time, there would be calls. My references were good, the talks with the hiring personnel proved wonderful, but, there just were not any positions available. What was even more sad, but many of these “cool places” were not only not hiring, but were losing money and on the verge of going out of business. Reality quickly became disturbing. The economy did not get better, and was getting worse.
126. The Veils
Aukland, New Zealand
Then came the 249th episode of Rock Bottom: 2nd version of Plan C, just go back to The Gas Station. As much as I was loved by most of the customers and my co-workers, and as much of a popular commodity I was in the community, as many people that frequented that place just to see me, and for all of those reasons exactly, I was that despised by the district manager. For no reason at all, the fat son of a bitch proclaimed I was no longer permitted to be re-hired, even though the store’s managers, other employees, and customers wanted me back. I had challenged him once, he didn’t like the way I looked either. Fuck him, fat piece of shit. I’ve been through worse, much worse. I was steadfast, still relatively young, able, and intelligent. And to be honest with you, I was happy I was not hired back... I left there for a reason. It was time to resort to Plan D. This would require intuition and desperate measures.
Top Image by: Tony J. Neal
Bottom Image by: Los Angeles Times
151. Deleted Scenes"Got God" 2:25