The Top 125 Songs of 1981

The Top 200 Songs of 1981
Part 1: The Texas Dead Body Incident
Part 2: Piles of Dead Gertrudes
Part 3: That Old Bitch Mrs. Watson
Part 4: Ask God
Part 5: Physically Attracted to Money
Part 6: Whacked Out on Catnip
Part 7: Re-write Your Own Life; Lie, Classify As Non-Fiction
Part 8: Unlimited Harmony

Part IV: Ask God

Press play to listen to this selection of songs in the exact order.

125. Blurt
"Tube Plane"  4:50
In Berlin
Stroud, England

The visitor came from some unknown galaxy that astronomers never even knew existed. He came to Earth to do two things: To hear The Velvet Underground, and to fuck a white woman.

124. Ebba Grön
"Nu Släckas Tusen Mänskoliv"  3:04
Kärlek & Uppror
Ragsved, Sweden

The sex with the white girl was not only over-rated, but downright horrendous. He had landed in the area called Over-The-Rhine located in Cincinnati, OH and ended up with a hooker from Dunlap Street. It turned out that she had an enormous cock and ended up sticking it in him. Plus, she began acting strangely after injecting a strange needle into her arm… must be The Velvet Underground, the alien assumed; although he had no explanation for the chronic itching taking place in his groin.

123. The Suburbs
"Faith"  3:56
Credit in Heaven
Minneapolis, MN

After he was informed that those women in that neighborhood did not count as a pleasurable white girl experience, and assuming he didn’t have a funky disease that was causing the itch (his pecker was already green to begin with), the alien set out to where he heard the women were liberated and knew what they were doing: Asheville, NC. And, the women did know how to have great sex… just not with him because he was, in fact, a him. Also, the alien found the massive amounts of armpit hair unappealing and the smell was troubling too.

122. Models
"Unfaithful to the Corps"  3:29
Cut Lunch
Melbourne, AU

The alien did happen to fall in love with one of them. At first glance of the newly found lovebirds of Asheville, the gender of neither could be easily determined. Therefore, the most frequently asked question in Asheville (“Is that a man or a woman?”) definitely applied to both of them.

121. Monitor
"Amphibious"  3:12
Northridge, CA

Hoping to plan a journey to New York City to see The Velvet Underground, the young lady from Asheville informed the alien that that was not going to happen, and mentioned something about the death of guitarist Sterling Morrison. The alien did not understand the concept of death, and never heard of any living creature dying. This was both shocking and appalling to the creature from whatever the fuck galaxy it was this nigger came from.

120. The Residents
"Final Confrontation"  9:48
Mark of the Mole
Shreveport, LA

The Ashevillians, open minded as they were, and perhaps the most open minded people on Earth, drew influence from the alien. The alien discussed religion and politics from the other galaxies along with all sorts of other crazy ass shit. He also discovered that the marijuana in Asheville was among the best in The Milky Way, making the mother fucker’s topic of conversation even weirder. There were a slew of random homeless people hanging out on Lexington Ave in front of The Emerald Lounge who also claimed to be from other galaxies, and cited their experience with a walking Zankalorian that gave them the powers to exaspenidiate from dorselatographicosticiy into the domains of ededdereddeski which created that feeling of savetannershiption; drinking Wild Irish Rose also generates feelings of savetannershiption.

119. Decima Victima
"La Razón de la Discordia"  2:51
El Vacio EP
Madrid, Spain

The alien loved all of his Asheville friends. However, he was still troubled by this concept called death. Furthermore, he found the weather patterns and disintegrating air quality of the entire planet disturbing. He wondered why God hadn't done anything. “Why hasn’t God done anything?” The person was, unfortunately, passed out on the sidewalk from excessive consumption of Wild Irish Rose; none of the others believed in God; others claimed that God worked in mysterious ways and attempted to preach to the alien a set of morals.

118. Factrix
"Center of the Doll"  4:49
San Francisco, CA

Life outside of Asheville was a scary place. The alien never made it to New York City and instead headed west. In the Midwest colonies, such as Milwaukee, WI, he discovered the people were not as liberated as those in Asheville. It seemed like they were just following trends that were popular in Asheville 8 years ago, and they were easily influenced by TV. The people were friendly enough, but it seemed as if they were attempting to convert him to this weird Christianity religion where people die.

117. Minimal Compact
"Happy Babouge"  3:22
Tel-Aviv, Israel

The visitor, now named Merle, was also shocked when he discovered there were numerous forms of religion, and various interpretations of rules, and what happens after this mysterious thing called death. Furthermore, he was even more troubled to realize the people of Earth had been fighting and killing one another over which false interpretation was actually more false. He felt differently about everything on Earth upon hearing that and wondered what in the Hell drove these silly bastards out of their minds like this. “Hmm, must be the Wild Irish Rose,” Merle assumed.

116. David Darling
"Cycle Song"  7:10
Elkhart, IN

Even more shocking was the fact that relationships were being torn apart due to circumstances that God could have resolved. Instead, people were still arguing and bickering, daily, over this mysterious set of rules and regulations that insisted both listening to The Velvet Underground and having sex with white girls was "wrong". Much of this was causing people to even kill themselves.

115. Pat Metheny Group
"Are You Going With Me"  8:51
Lee's Summit, MO/New York, NY

Merle made several attempts to engage in conversation with people about these issues. He noticed that people on Earth were dying due to elements within the Earth's atmosphere that needed to be fixed—the setting of the air wasn't stable and the weather conditions needed amendments. He told the Earth's population they could simply ask God to fix all of these and somebody would.

114. Bill Evans
"Gary's Theme"  4:23
You Must Believe In Spring
Plainfield, NJ

And, Merle finally became a bit perturbed by all of this. He was a bit angry with God, but understood. For, he told Earth about God, claimed he had seen him several times. That God was not this omnipotent being with strict rules and guidelines. Rather, God was a laid back person who was formed in the Big Bang Explosion and was basically in charge of planetary alignments to protect the well-being of all things living thus there would never be any death, disease, hardships, or this stupid shit called war. He didn't give a fuck if people smoked weed or watched R rated movies, etc.

113. Phew
"Dream"  3:18

It was the Christians of America who were the most perplexed. They insisted Merle was going to a place called Hell. They organized protests and declared Merle to be evil, and even threw around terms such as "Anti-Christ." Before long, all religions agreed on one thing—Merle was an immoral heathen.

112. Chick Corea
"Quartet No. 2, Part 1"  7:09
Three Quartets
Chelsea, MA

To make matters worse, the American government declared Merle an outlaw and wished to do experiments on him to see what his chemical components were; the American government and religious officials all feared Merle, and what he would do. They established even more strict marijuana and obscenity laws as a means of arresting and apprehending Merle. They also employed the media, Fox News especially, to manipulate the population to turn against Merle.

111. Quasar
"The Little Prince"  5:34
Man Coda

The flip side: it was the "regular" American people who led the revolt against this tirade on Merle- and rallied strongly for his freedom. Canadians & Mexicans were in the mix. But, shortly afterwards, the "regular people" of Israel protested the loudest, alongside with their friends, "regular" Palestinians. Next thing you know Merle had strong supporters in every nation all across the world.

110. The Passage
"The Shadows"  4:56
For All and None
Manchester, England

Wow, wasn't expecting these guys to be from Israel. Anyhow, despite the fact that Merle was beginning to gain supporters from all over the world, he was also being faced with more scrutiny from the church officials and the government. The media still published stories with numerous reasons as to why he was a terrorist threat, and even made attempts to back it up with this "scientific knowledge" about the personality traits of species from the galaxy in which Merle was from.

109. INU
"メリーゴーラウンド"  4:56
メシ喰うな! (Meshi Kuuna)
Osaka, Japan

The entire world was on the verge of total civil disobedience. What mattered most to the people of Earth was put on display and fought for the hardest; and they were divided. Some set to prove Christianity true, some wanted money, etc. The broadest form of division could be regarded as: those out in society vs. what was shown on TV. Who was right?

108. The Gordons
"Sometimes"  4:01
Christchurch, New Zealand

Perhaps proving to be the most influential, and definitely the most daring move, Merle himself conducted a powerful speech on his birthday, the day he supposedly turned 12,418. He insisted death was not natural, fighting was not natural, and all of the Earth's troubles were due to the fact the Earth had faulty alignment that was causing this horrendous effect on all of them.

107. The Muffins
"Zoom Resume"  7:17
Washington, D.C.

In a move that nearly turned every single person against him, he spoke of a version of God nobody had ever heard; and claimed this God could solve everything. And, that this God was nowhere near perfect, and had simply forgotten about Earth because it meandered so far out of alignment that God merely assumed it was in an area uninhabited by anyone. He partially blamed the people of Earth for failing to remind God and informing God about the problems.

106. U2
"Scarlet"  2:52
Dublin, Ireland

Merle informed the folks that God was not a spirit but an actual person. Also, that God does not hear prayers from individuals, particularly on Earth because it is so far out of alignment that God forgot all about it. He claimed that all the people of Earth need to get together and yell for God all at once so God will hear them. Then, they can speak with God about "getting this shit fixed."

105. Riff
"Ultra-Velocidad"  4:33
Macadam 3,2,1...0
Bueonos Aires, Argentina

Many of his supporters were Atheists, but they nearly dismissed him as being yet another religious whack. Christians were appalled because he used the word shit in the same sentence as God. In fact, a major portion of the Earth insisted he might be insane and that maybe he should be turned over to the American government for experimental testing.

104. The Flying Lizards
"Steam Away"  4:48
Fourth Wall
London, England

Being what he considered natural, which meant genuinely good and willing to help out other forms of life which appeared to be on the verge of devastation, Merle made a deal. He vowed that if the people of Earth attempted to grab God's attention, that upon failure, he would turn himself over to the American government for experimentation.

103. Kenso
"Tabiji"  7:54

Merle insisted the Earthlings had absolutely nothing to lose and everything to gain. He understood everyone's reluctance, or dismissal as yet another crock, but Merle declared that this idea of "heaven" and "eternal life" is actually natural and can be obtained very easily. Everybody just needs to gather together and yell for God. Once matters were properly aligned, this would resolve everything including disturbing thought patterns. At the very least: a day of reckoning and a day off work.

102. Indoor Life
"Voodoo"  13:33
San Francisco, CA

And so a date was set, and it became a major event. All the people of the world gathered. The media televised the whole thing with "fun" interviews and commercials. Capitalists sold hot dogs for $9 each. Opinions as to the whole event were mixed, televised, and openly announced, even as to what was going to happen once this was proved a hoax. Then, at 4:15PM GMT, every person on Earth stood outside, looked to the sky, and shouted in unison, a loudly as they could: "God! God! GOD!" For several minutes straight, all people on Earth shouted at once.

101. Fela Kuti
"Coffin for Head of State"  22:43
Coffin for Head of State
Abeokuta, Nigeria

And...no fucking shit! God appeared.

NC-17 Soundtraxxx SONGS OF 1981:  200-176  175-151  150-126  125-101  100-76  75-51  50-26  25-#1

Top Image By: gllwest.com
Bottom Image By: Flickr

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