2011/10/19

NC17 Top 100 Traxxx of Pre-1965

The Origination of History + The Top 100 Songs of 1965 and Before

Chapter 1: I Know Where it Began Because I Was There
Chapter 2: The Preacher and The Scientist Were Definitely There Too
Chapter 3: The Molding of Modern Society
Chapter 4: Modern Society, And These Fuckers Are STILL Here

Chapter I: I Know Where it Began Because I Was There


Press play on the image below to hear this selection of songs in this exact order.



100. Glenn Miller
"Moonlight Serenade"  3:22
Moonlight Serenade (1939)
Clarinda, IA

A long, long, time ago; right here; there was absolutely nothing. One day, just out of the blue, nothing became an enormous somethingthus The Universe had originated. Nobody we know personally was there to witness the spectacle; how and why this happened remains uncertain, and the process in which this occurred is also completely unknown. Despite the fact there were no witnesses residing on Earth, and there is no credible evidence whatsoever to confirm the details of this miracle, otherwise compatible people hate one another because they adduce certain assumptions positively ascertain how this whole thing happened with 100% certified accuracy.

99. Tommy Dorsey
"Satan Takes a Holiday"  3:20
Satan Takes a Holiday (1937)
Shenandoah, PA (1905)-Greenwich, CT (1956)

According to various legends, this whole process lasted a mere 6 days; day 7 required rest. Yet, billions of years had passed, and in all likelihood, the project seems far from complete. If so, based on the outcome of Planet Earth, the final product was a half-assed completion, and one has to question the work ethic of the creator. Although it appears that this was a lazy persona person so lazy, that he/she/it/whatever has done nothing but sit in a throne for over a billion years, numerous Earthlings are enamored with this perception of The Creator that they state this is the only "perfect being" in The Universe.

98. The Penguins
"Earth Angel"  2:57
Earth Angel (1954)
Los Angeles, CA

Even though not a single scientist was present for the whole shebang, scientists claim to be absolutely certain as to how this happened: by means of a mysterious explosion. They admittedly have no clue as to what triggered the explosion. But, they remain so confident they are correct that they will exam college students on their belief system and assess failing grades to those who do not accurately recite their fabricated theories.

97. Cab Calloway
"Minnie The Moocher"  3:10
Minnie the Moocher (1931)
Rochester, NY (1907)-Hockessin, DE (1994)

Even though the aforementioned nothing obviously did not have a church, and there is a good chance that Earth was not the first planet created, that man was not even the first species on Earth, religious experts are so convinced that their philosophies on creation are flawlessly correct that they will sentence any person who disagrees to eternal damnation in a place called Hell.

96. Bill Monroe
"I Hear a Sweet Voice Calling"  4:31
Little Cabin Home on the Hill (1948)
Rosine, KY (1911)-Springfield, TN (1996)

For all anybody knew, The Universe began as black and white photo of a small log cabin next to the tree. A man named Gil was the very first person ever created, and did nothing but sit in a rocking chair on his porch, looking out at nothing, for at this point, there were no stars, there was no K-Mart, no spaceships, and the view from Gil's porch was white nothingness...Gil was confined to his porch for the nothingness was solid, there was nothing there, nowhere to even go.

95. Maurice Williams & The Zodiacs
"Stay"  1:36
Stay (1961)
Charlotte, NC

Simply out of the blue, from underneath the tree, a squirrel was formed. Within moments, they began multiplying...soon there were thousands of squirrels; in a 50 square foot section of the universe because that was all the larger the universe was back then. The squirrels attacked Gil and ate him. Upon eating Gil ("The Great Gil" as he is so often referred in historical context), the squirrels developed an allergic reaction, and one by one began gradually exploding- each explosion resulting in the creation of a new section on what would eventually become The Universe.

94. Chuck Berry
"Maybellene"  2:21
Chuck Berry is on Top (1959)
St. Louis, MO

Scientists believe this explosion all happened at once; the object that exploded was a particle of dust. They are unwilling to provide an explanation as to where to dust came from, or what triggered the explosion. Knowing that anything that happens once can certainly happen again, people have devised cleaning products to eliminate dust in their homes, for one day, without reason, their coffee table may erupt into another universe, with Gil and a thousand squirrels seated in the living room watching Oprah—and trust me, Oprah was definitely there.

93. The Beach Boys
"Surfin' Safari"  2:05
Surfin' Safari (1962)
Hawthorne, CA

Some astronomers have acknowledged that the explosion may have been triggered by God. Some have urged that the nothing was God. However, nobody has any clue whatsoever as to where this God person came from; and, it has become such a taboo subject that misinterpreting this notion could result in eternal damnation of the soul in that Hell place, that was created during the explosion of one of the squirrels. Claiming Gil was God, and God had been eaten by squirrels who thus triggered the explosion is considered inappropriate behavior, and grounds for counseling.

92. Dizzy Gillespie
"Oop Bop Sh'Bam"  2:59
That's Earl Brother (1947)
Cheraw, SC (1917)-Englewood, NJ (1993)

Assuming The Universe was created by means other than an explosion is grounds for dismissal of logic, a mere fantasy, and subject for a psychiatric evaluation...primarily because so so so many scientists were around to witness the explosion, that an explosion is the only way possible a nothingness void could have emerged into something. Uncertain scientists are now deemed experts, and anyone who offers any alternatives whatsoever are deemed idiots.

91. Jimmy Smith
"Walk on the Wild Side"  5:57
Bashin': The Unpredictable Jimmy Smith (1961)
Norristown, PA (1928)-Scottsdale, AZ  (2005)

In order to achieve the status of the elite, one must fully conform to either the belief system of the non-creative scientist, or the mentally unstable Jesus Freak. Devising any other theory is completely irrelevant, and people will claim that the creator of the new theory simply does not know what he/she is talking about. However, the scientists know everything, because they were there, when it exploded, when God exploded the dust with a hand grenade, and then sent a set of commandments to Mt. Sinai in Israel.

90. Bobby "Boris" Pickett
"Monster Mash"  3:48
The Original Monster Mash (1962)
Somerville, MA (1938)-Los Angeles, CA (2007)

Despite the arrogance of their nature, both science and religion have deep history of being WRONG!!! Throughout history, numerous once commonly accepted beliefs have been disproved. For, it could be just a matter of time in which everything now accepted during this particular period of time may be disproved as well. Both parties also have a difficult time accepting that they have been wrong, and keep on insisting that what they had been taught, what they had conformed to ever since Gil exploded a squirrel inside their mother's immaculate womb, is absolutely positively 100% accurate. And here's proof: "They said..."

89. Sam Rivers
"Point of Many Returns"  9:20
Contours (1965)
El Reno, OK (1923)/Orlando, FL (Present)

The topic of the origination of the universe has been disputed so widely, that wars have been fought over this. People have been willing to devise weapons, and brutally kill another group of people who did not agree with Fernando on how The Universe was created; Fernando knows, he was there all along. Not like the other side, where Billy claims he had been passed upon this knowledge from the primary parties responsible for this creation.

88. The Chordettes
"Mr. Sandman"  2:28
Mr. Sandman (1954)
Sheboygan, WI

The human race has become so destructive that the only way they can conceive The Universe is via explosion, and God is full of rage. Nobody has ever toyed with the notion that nothing simply became God, who stood around in a nothingness void for several years attempting to figure out a solution to loneliness. Once she did, she became so happy, pranced around the void cheerfully, sprinkling fairy dust that magically created life, a new domain, a new life, beings that sprouted happy bunny rabbits with smiley faces, and she is still doing this right now.

87. Brian Hyland
"Ginny Come Lately"  2:47
Let Me Belong to You (1962)
New York, NY (1943-Present)

The ability to reproduce life, magically, has been a topic of much discussion. For, the male penis is full of explosive dust, and inside the woman's womb is a squirrel eagerly waiting detonation. The species that represent life in The Universe somehow mysteriously possesses this trait... God gave it to them. But, God does not ever want anybody to utilize this trait for it is sinful, it is best to assume that a scientist shall someday have the ability to create a stork.

86. Wayne Shorter
"Wild Flower"  6:07
Speak No Evil (1965)
Newark, NJ (1933-present)

Intellectual experts have become so certain of the existence of God, that it not only can never be disputed, but insinuating that God is anything other than a male human being is sinful. Referring to this man as anything other than God, such as Melvin, Larry, Allah, Zeus, Oprah is not only incorrect, and illogical, but an unforgivable sin that will surely land you in hell, and cannot be backed up with sufficient evidence like the proof that exists: the photos and the videos are reliable evidence that clearly prove that God is man (the name tag on his shirt in these photos does read "Doug" however).

85. Clarence "Frogman" Henry
"Ain't Got No Home"  2:22
Ain't Got No Home (1956)
Algiers, LA (1937-present)

We have assumed, through science, because God said, and they said, that all forms of life absolutely must reside on various creations called planets, grounded there with the concept of gravity. There is no way whatsoever that any form of life could reside on anything other than a planet, with the exact same essentials as those on Earth. For that matter, there is no other life in The Universe other than Earth. We know this because we have traveled the entire Universe, with hopes to annex other planets into American states and covert all forms of terrestrial life to Christianity.

84. The Shadows
"Wonderful Land"  2:05
Wonderful Land of the Shadows (1962)
London, England

Nobody has ever bothered to explore the notion that it is perhaps planets themselves that are the ultimate form of life, and these life forms all wander around in circles talking to one another about how to get a visa to work in the next galaxy. This particular solar system is a group of friends that cannot get a work visa because their good buddy Earth is infested with head lice. This has as much possibility as any other notion.

83. Billie Holiday
"Autumn in New York"  3:43
Billie Holiday (1954)
Baltimore, MD (1915)-New York, NY (1959)

As of 2011, the average lifespan for a human being is approximately 75 years. Theoretically, humans have existed on Earth for, maybe, 8000 years; 10,000 years perhaps875 MILLION YEARS NOW! However, there is no way to determine this. But, scientists claim they have constructed devices and conducted studies that they now know, for sure, that certain stars are exactly 8.6 billion years old. Many remember when the star was first conceived, and how, and they have been studying this star for the entire 8.6 billion years. They've been there too, and received the directions on exactly how to get there off MapQuest.

82. The Dells
"Oh! What a Nite"  4:06
Oh, What a Nite (1959)
Harvey, IL

Science students are equally gullible as pamphlet reading Jesus Freaks. Perhaps there will be a day when scientists stand in front of grocery stores passing out pamphlets attempting to persuade believers with their "facts" as to how The Universe was created on March 14th, 13.7 billion BCE. Any person who questions this exact date will perish forever into the pits of Hell, which was created October 9th, 31.4 million BCE, and has shown up on the telescope.

81. Marvin Gaye
"How Sweet it Is (To Be Loved by You)  2:56
How Sweet it Is (1965)
Washington, DC (1939)-Los Angeles, CA (1984)

People on Earth have been jailed, committed into asylums, and even persecuted for claiming to have knowledge of other elements outside The Universe other than what "they" said. Galileo was sentenced to house arrest by the Pope, who had power to do this because he was elected by God, for discovering moons orbiting another planet other than Earth. Jesus Christ was morbidly crucified for an alleged assumption that he was the chosen one by God; and as we all know from the video, God specifically chose David Koresh, Brigham Young, and George W. Bush. The chosen one, by all means, must be a white male, or not exist.

80. Johnny Ace
"Saving My Love For You"  2:40
Saving My Love For You (1953)
Memphis, TN (1929)-Houston, TX (1954)

Many cultures throughout history have adopted the premise of God, and many have adopted theories as to how this all began. Based on who they feel created The Universe, albeit God, Uncle Harold, or the ancient white guy with the beard, people have based their lives in accordance with the morals they believe this creator passed onto them. However, several of these cultures had been destroyed by conquerors who felt certain their ideas were right and these other primitive assholes were but imbeciles.

79. The Drifters
"There Goes My Baby"  2:10
Up on the Roof (1959)
New York, NY

One of the observances that gave scientists "evidence" that The Universe was created exactly when it was by means of explosion was that it appeared that the other galaxies were moving away from us. Maybe this is happening because we stink, and the other galaxies are trying to avoid our presence. Perhaps God created us by accident and told the other galaxies in a state of panic: "Get the fuck out of here!" Maybe God is just in front of the other galaxies leading the way sprinkling fairy dust, we are lagging behind because we are lazy, stupid, and do nothing but sit around and wonder how exactly this shit happened.

78. The Tornadoes
"Bustin' Surfboards"  2:29
Bustin' Surfboards (1962)
Redlands, CA

Intellectuals need to question the scientists in the exact same manner they question the religious beliefs of those who believe in creation. They need to question the fabricated myths in the science book in the same fashion they found contradictions within in the Bible. Upon the path that is presently accepted as the path of proper guidance, the path is leading nowhere, and during the lifetime in which we all are currently leading, the answers will not be found by scientists anytime soon.

77. Art Blakey & The Jazz Messengers
"Along Came Betty"  6:12
Moanin' (1958)
Pittsburgh, PA (1917)-New York, NY (1990)

If there is a God, God has abandoned us. God is nothing at all like what The Bible would indicate. If so, God, too, has flaws, nowhere near perfect, and the creation has blemishes. God is nowhere to be found, God has never been seen, and in all likelihood, in this entire ever-expanding Universe, it is highly doubtful that the Earth, along with the creatures dwelling upon it, ranks anywhere near God's top priority.

76. George Gershwin
"Rhapsody in Blue"  13:27
Rhapsody in Blue (1924)
New York, NY (1898)-Hollywood, CA (1937)

We can either accept our fate. That we either are but random, or a mistake and our lives are completely meaningless. We can continue to believe the flawed commonly accepted beliefs of religion and science, and simply hope for the best, that uncertain faith will carry. Or, we can abandon God and save ourselves. We can achieve eternal life on our own, along with the ability to travel freely throughout The Universe. Or, we can adopt the notion that God is just ahead of us sprinkling fairy dust, and that we must all work together, stop lagging behind, and take the means necessary to catch up with the others... the Advanced Species that know the answers.







Top Image by: http://todayontoday.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/Virginia-Dare.gif
Bottom image by: http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2011/05/pictures/110520-may-21-doomsday-harold-camping-judgement-day-rapture-end-of-the-world/

Bonus 101. Moondog
"Lullaby"  2:17
S/T (1956)
Marysville, KS (1916)-M√ľnster, Germany (1999)

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