The Top 100 Songs of 1984

The Top 150 Songs of 1984 + 100 Planes of Parallel Existence
Part 1: The Concept of Living 100 Separate Lives Simultaneously
Part 2: The Control Room
Part 3: Bosco's Early Deaths
Part 4: Mayday! Mayday! Red Altert! Squirrels! Mayday!
Part 5: Abnormal Executions
Part 6: Nakita, She's the One

Part III: Bosco's Early Deaths

Press play to listen to the songs.

100. The Smiths
"Pretty Girls Make Graves"  3:44
The Smiths
Manchester, England

On Plane #16, Bosco was a forced conception in capitalist America during a period in which the economy was poor. This world had religion, government, currency, no interaction with outer space, and poor expensive doctors; a man named Lionel Richie was attempting to spearhead a quiet revolution. Because of the economy, because the conception was forced, Bosco's parents could not afford the child, nor an abortion. A week after Bosco was born, he was placed in a dumpster. Not knowing a child was in there, an employee from the dumpster's restaurant took out the garbage and flung the heavy bags inside. Shortly afterwards, the television screen for Plane #16 read: "DEAD".

99. Blurt
"Enemy Ears" 3:41
Bullets For You
Stroud, England

Plane #82 for Bosco, was Plane #36 for Bosco's primary father, in which Bosco's dad was an experimentation on how well he could adapt and overcome adversity. At age 4, Bosco's father took Bosco to the park. As Bosco was going down the shiny silver slide, he was struck by lightning. The screen for Plane #82 reads "DEAD" and shows an image of 4-year old Bosco being struck by lightning; the expression on his face upon being struck is uproarious.

98. Luna
"Vila" 2:45
Nestvarne Stvari
Novi Sad, Serbia

In Plane #57, The United States did not exist; rather it was a continent in which 147 regions represented countries. The government of the small country Kentucky was under allegations of violations of human rights. Though he meant well, President Hulk Hogan was devising a new child safety device, but was using real children for the experiment (this was deemed appropriate so long as the children were white). The device had not yet been perfected, and in Bosco's Control Room, Plane #57 reads "DEAD" as the screen loops the 5 second incident of Bosco flying out of a car windshield head first into a brick wall.

97. Dark Angel
"Merciless Death" 4:27
We Have Arrived
Downey, CA

In Plane #6, United States Imperialism did not end, ever. The United States was attempting yet another annexation of a faraway nation, this time Morocco- which was slated to become the 86th state of America. The Moroccans were no longer willing to stand for this tyranny; they retaliated, and even went to the offensive. Determined to finally bring down the evil United States, Morocco invaded Washington D.C. and bombed the Smithsonian Institute, where Bosco, age 12, was on a field trip. Screen #6 reads "DEAD" with Bosco flattened underneath a stone monument of ex-President Harry Connick Jr.

96. Braille Party
"Terrorist" 2:04
Welcome to Maryland

Plane #26 is themed to corrupt worlds in which we all are called upon to see whether or not we can dictate a change in the world. Bosco's Plane #71 happened to be Plane #26 for Colonial Elton John, who refused to wear proper military attire. Bosco sided with Elton John. Those watching in Bosco's Control Room watched in awe on screen #71 as 17 year old Bosco (dressed like a flaming homosexual hippopotamus) crashed a truck load of explosives into an Army/Navy surplus store. "DEAD"

95. Whitesnake
"Slow An' Easy" 6:11
Slide it In
London, England

Plane #69 is the plane in which beings experience sexuality at the fullest. People who engage in a lot of sex are living out their Plane #69. Being indulgent as he is, Bosco on Plane #69 would fuck anything that moved. This was fine, being Plane #69 and all, but his girlfriend did not see it that way. On the TV screen, Plane #69 was looking like a hot porno, until a gunshot was heard and the screen read "DEAD" with Bosco on top of a lovely young woman with blood gushing out of his head and her legs flailing around his shoulders. The woman, shortly afterwards, in her Control Room, screen #48 read "DEAD" with dead Bosco on top of her in a coital position.

94. Cock Sparrer
"Closedown" 2:57
Running Riot in '84
London, England

Plane #44, Bosco was a celebrity who attended outrageous parties. Amidst a crew of hot babes and other popular superstars, Bosco was living extravagantly and having the time of his life. The director of the movie in which he starred hooked him up with some really good cocaine at the club. He snorted his 15th line of the hour, flailed around the room uncontrollably, holding his chest. Screen #44: "DEAD"; at least then-Miss America, Dr. Ruth, was standing by his side.

93. Crass
"You're Already Dead"  4:32
You're Already Dead
Epping, England

Much to Bosco's dismay, his dream woman in Plane #30, Martha Stewart, will not be spending paradise with him. She despised him, and his constant pestering. Even more so, was her boyfriend from the factory she worked, Chuck Norris. One night Bosco went by her house to see if she was home. Chuck had seen enough. He picked him up and pile drove his face into the concrete. Behind the words "DEAD", the screen for Plane #30 loops this vicious move on repeat.

92. Slayer
"Captor of Sin" 3:29
Haunting the Chapel
Los Angeles, CA

Plane #92 saw most of the entire world living life reminiscent to the early 1600's. Due to some overwhelming victories obtained by the Puritans, some key figures either neither existed in this world, nor was persecuted for not obeying the will of God. There were no vehicles and no advancements in technology. Because Bosco was a man and interested in figure skating, he was deemed a homosexual disciple of Satan and burned at the stake.

91. The Very Things
"The Conqueror" 3:59
The Bushes Scream While My Daddy Prunes
United Kingdom

Plane #51 is designed to be ruled by your own personal belief system. The outcome of this world in regards to the remaining population living on it influences the patterns of Paradise. For Bosco's Plane #38, he was totally incompatible with the ruling party of those living their personal Plane #51's. Finding this world unsuitable for him, he committed suicide.

90. Cindytalk
"The Ghost Never Smiles" 6:45
Camouflage Heart
Edinburg, Scotland/London, England

Plane #47 is non-parental forced conception in which extra terrestrial beings free flow frequently. However, it was rumored long ago that the elements of the planet have been haunted by mystical evil spirits from the unknown. The sun does not shine here. There are no families, and there has never been a successful Plane #26. In a dark alleyway, Bosco encountered the wrong group of most terrifying beings who attacked him gang style and ate him. Screen #47 reveals him on a rotisserie.

89. Psychic TV
"Lost Angeles" 2:22
Pagan Day
London, England

Plane #62 had superstars, but Bosco wasn't one of them, nor was impressed with any of them. He hated them, all of them, and their constant attention on the tabloids. Bosco felt as if he had superstar potential, but it appeared the ones who had the most success were nothing special. This was a world for other people, and Bosco hated that he even had to be a part of it. Perhaps he never should have been here. Maybe that is why after he was killed in the car accident, he was the first person ever to mysteriously show up in his own control room.

88. GG Allin
"I Don't Give a Shit" 2:27
Eat My Fuc
Lancaster, NH- New York, NY

As for Plane #23, even though he pulled out of the driveway at the exact same time as Plane #62, Bosco was a bit more suited for this environment. He did, however, frequently drink and use drugs in excess...and despised those considered "celebrities". For reasons unknown, after he pulled out in front of the speeding vehicle, he felt a pause in the whole world (the pause was #62's death on a parallel plane). After surviving this, he felt certain he was immortal. He slammed the gas pedal to the floor and crashed his Honda Accord into a brick wall thinking nothing would happen.

87. Sun City Girls
"Helwa Shak" 3:48
Phoenix, AZ

Even more complicated to figure out than two dead Bosco's showing up in his own Control Room upon dying, was the mysterious pause in the world that was being felt after one of them died; and even more baffling was the concept of immortality that paired with feeling this pause. Bosco #84 felt the pause at a department store in the mall. Once he regained natural consciousness, he dove head-first down the escalator for what seemed to be no reason at all. The Control Room employees watched this fateful fall on repeat in disbelief trying to gather clues.

86. The Legendary Pink Dots
"Vigil-Anti" 4:24
The Tower
London, England

Plane #42, Bosco lived in a crime infested neighborhood—the neighborhood used to be considered adequate living conditions, until Sarah Palin and her rugged gang of Alaskan street thugs moved in, lowering property values. After feeling a pause, Bosco went outside and confronted the street gang, and started talking smack about their mamas, and said he fucked their gang leader Sarah Palin doggy style and had the pictures to prove it. They dragged him down an alleyway and beat him. It was the blow to the head with the lead pipe that made the words "DEAD" appear on the screen.

85. This Kind of Punishment
"Trepidation" 3:57
A Beard of Bees
Auckland, New Zealand

Plane #76 features a world that once existed Botany genius Eduardo Hankins. There are natural plants on Plane #76 that puts Asheville marijuana to shame. In fact, Willie Nelson has to smoke in moderation on this plane. Bosco had been plagued with feeling these peculiar pauses, and smoked an enormous amount Herbal Truedessa, the most potent there is. Two hits, good enough. Bosco ingested 15 hits, and when he wound up in his Control Room seeing himself on TV behind screen #76 behind the words "DEAD" he thought he was just experiencing an hallucinatory effect from the herb.

84. Skeleton Crew
"Factory Song" 4:49
Learn to Talk
Formed in Switzerland, Supergroup of three Americans

Plane #93 has far advanced technology. However, only the rich are able to use it, and the rest have to work long intense hours to produce these products so Northwest Mutual Douchebags can travel to Milwaukee for their conferences in a more elegant style. Bosco was ready to quit his job anyway, but now he thought he could take over the city by interrupting a Northwest Mutual Conference by forcefully entering the conference room and urinating on their bagels. The manager zapped him with a laser and disintegrated him.

83. U.V. PØP
"See You" 4:23
No Songs Tomorrow
Sheffield, England

Plane #3 is the Similar/Different Species plane. All of the population appeared human, but most were not. There are no animals on this plane. On Plane #3, Bosco is married to a woman named Diphtheria Mayes, she loves him; he hates her. After a pause and a feeling of immortality, he poisoned their dinner thinking it would only kill her. Diphtheria's Plane #87 does say "DEAD" now, but so does Bosco's Plane #3.

82. Wham!
"Careless Whisper" 6:34
Make it Big
London, England

As of 27 years, it had yet to be determined who Bosco would be spending Paradise with, if anybody. Plane #67, he and Cootie McGee had a strong relationship. Bosco blew it. Diphtheria Mayes was on this plane as well, and he cheated on Cootie McGee with Diphtheria Mayes. Cootie dumped him; the Control Room personnel disqualified him from spending Paradise with her. But he was persistent; enough to attach a homemade set of wings to his shoulder and fly into her window from a downtown skyscraper. Didn't even come close...SPLAT, Plane #67, "DEAD".

81. Dio
"The Last in Line" 5:47
The Last in Line
New York, NY (RJD: Portsmouth, NH- Houston, TX)

On Plane #89, you could pick whatever career path you wanted. Each person was tested for this and was offered assistance to ensure happiness. Bosco was a bit crazy anyway, enjoyed partying at college, and stayed in school for way too long. Suddenly, he started feeling indestructible. He went totally ape shit onstage at a bar while karaoking this Dio classic, and devoured shards of a busted Pabst bottle to spit up blood while giving the classic Dio sign to crowd. When the music kicked in, Bosco kicked the bucket.

80. The Go-Betweens
"Draining the Pool for You" 4:17
Spring Hill Fair
Brisbane, Australia

On Plane #99, Bosco was surprisingly popular amongst his friends, but he was not particularly fond of them. He went out with them all the time, but only because he felt he had to. Depressed because the woman of his dreams, Cootie McGee, was now getting married to world champion bass fisherman Marilyn Manson, Bosco drank himself into a stupor and mysteriously felt as if he could push his car home to avoid getting a D.U.I. He pushed the vehicle about halfway up the hill, but he couldn't push any more. It rolled back down, Bosco tried to run, but was too drunk to avoid Plane #99 displaying "DEAD" with him underneath his own car.

79. K.U.K.L.
"Seagull" 3:01
The Eye
Reykjavik, Iceland

On Plane #55, some derelict named Rex Chan took all of his money back in college. Feeling invincible, Bosco decided to track down Rex Chan and settle this once and for all. Instead, he accidentally encountered infamous mob boss Jackie Chan. He decided he was going to kick Jackie Chan's ass on sheer principle. Jackie Chan on Plane #55 also has a good sense of humor, and hilariously threw Bosco out in front of a subway train. He and his cronies laughed about it the whole way home, doing impressions of how he squished.

78. The 012
"Rio Tinto Zinc International" 3:08
Let's Get Professional
London, England

Back in the year 1266, on Plane #18, Native American Chief A Flock of Seagulls set sail across the Atlantic and discovered Spain. This lower class race of degenerates were removed from their land as the Native Americans transformed Europe into their own nation, depleting the Europeans of their primary culture and delegating them to reservations. Bosco's family had immigrated from the reservation to actual America to pursue a better life. As an immigrant, Bosco was treated poorly. In an attempt to fight for equal rights, Bosco lit himself on fire thinking he would not be phased by the heat...it was October on Chief A Flock of Seagulls Day, a National Holiday for when Europe was "discovered".

77. Tragic Mulatto
"Tac Squad" 2:40
Judo for the Blind
San Francisco, CA

On most planes of existence, animals can talk and interact with humans. This particular plane we are currently living on is one of those rare times where animals do not speak. Plane #34 for Bosco, he was at a bar having a drink with a horse named Scott, discussing his immortality. He bet a group of horses that he could light a stick of dynamite and hold it while it exploded, and then after a short pause, he would be totally unharmed. Plane #34 reads "DEAD" amidst a cloud of smoke and a group of horses laughing hysterically.

76. Stevie Ray Vaughan
"Tin Pan Alley" 9:11
Couldn't Stand the Weather
Dallas, TX- East Troy, WI

Harvey called up Keith, the Control Room Supervisor, to discuss the Bosco debacle. Upon analyzing the screens, they noticed on screen #87 Bosco, white collar financial analyst for Northwest Mutual, shooting up heroin in the back of an alley wearing a suit and tie. Plane #87, Bosco was so successful that he even went to church to praise the Lord Sherman; shooting heroin was not his typical behavior. Therefore, he died wearing a stupid name badge around his collar. The Control Room personnel all jotted notes on their clipboards and realized they needed to find a solution.

Top image by: Google Images
Bottom Image by: Google

No comments:

Post a Comment

Popular Posts